Chapter One
Can I continue feeling this way?
The room buzzed with chatter as all the guests downed the liquor handed to them. It was a social event, a friendly one, celebrating EXO-M’s debut. No, not all of them were old enough to drink, but let’s just say that a few turned heads when seeing the maknae’s take a sip. A silent agreement made between each member to just enjoy the night, and themselves.
There was myself, Kris, age 21
Tao, age 18
Chen, age 19
Xiu Min, age 22
Lay, age 20
and
LuHan, age 21.
I being the leader, have job to look out for all of my members, regardless of what relationship I have with them. (Meaning that if one of us were to have a fight, I still have to look past that for the benefit of the group.)
We finished our activities at around 1 A.M.; it was about time considering the maknae’s were practically sleeping standing up. I gathered all of them and walked them to the limo, telling our chauffer to drive us straight home. I was almost certain all of us had schedules tomorrow too. Thankfully, they were in the afternoon so we could all sleep in.
During the ride, Tao and Xiu Min had fallen asleep on each other. I think that was possibly the cutest thing that I have ever seen. Though I would never admit that out loud. I held back a wide smile while staring at them and just let a little smirk appear. When we got to the dorms, neither one of them would wake up, so I took Tao over my right shoulder and carried him inside. LuHan looked at me like I was crazy, afraid the wushu king would wake up and fight me for babying him. Yet, I just shrugged it off. Tao was pretty light considering how much muscle he had. And because I was so tall, I had no problem carrying him without his legs bumping into anything.
I hoped he was still asleep as I was carrying him, for my right hand was holding the very bottom part of the small of his back and my left hand held on to his upper thighs. As soon as all the boys were behind me and my face was hidden, I let my smile show through. I was enjoying myself, I have to admit. I always put on a straight face, but somehow when it came to Tao I just couldn’t hold back. There was something different when we were together… Something I couldn’t quite place. I wouldn’t deny that, and I have never once thought of that as a bad thing, but I didn’t want to be made fun of by the other members so I always straightened my expression when in front of them.
Slowly opening the door to his dorm, I almost immediately tensed as a loud creak echoed through the room. I stood still for a second, trying to slow my heartbeat and checking to see if Tao was still asleep. I held my breath for a few seconds and gently placed my ear against his side. His breathing was still slow and steady, and his heartbeat gently vibrated his skin. I breathed a sigh of relief (as he was still sleeping soundly) and walked in, closing the door quietly behind me.
Thank god he had a room all to himself; no one would barge in.
I walked to the bed, undoing the covers first, and gently placed him down like a baby. My left hand held his legs while my right hand rested under his head, putting it down gently so that he wouldn’t get a kink in his neck. He groaned a little when I put him down, but quieted right after.
He must be dreaming…
A smile escaped my lips as I examined him. Out of all the members, I had always been drawn to him for some reason. Him, and… only him. I sat down on the bed next to him. I knew that I had already been in here for a fair amount of time, and the other members were probably wondering what I was doing, but I didn’t care. I wanted to enjoy my time with Tao. I looked over his face, noticing his pallid complexion against his dark airy hair. The way it fluffed out was more than cute, and his bangs grew in a way that they ever so slightly brushed against his eyelashes, making his eyelids twitch in his sleep. I almost laughed at his little predicament, but held it in, not wanting to wake him. My gaze slipped from his eyes, down his nose, and halted at the brim of his lips. I couldn’t help but notice the slight gap between his upper and lower lip that formed when he breathed. The tissue of his lips were stained light crimson, probably from sampling a few sips of wine. He had, after all, gone to bed without brushing his teeth.
I couldn’t help but continue to stare. They looked so… tempting. The way his top lip slightly protruded over his bottom, even while his mouth was open; how his lips had a natural curve on each side, giving a permanent smirk; how his bottom lip came up from his chin, just begging for contact.
Tao, in my eyes, was starting to become a little too tempting. It took more strength than I had to restrain myself from connecting my lips to his during his weakest or strongest moments. Yes, I’ll admit, I have feelings for Tao. But, no one else knows. I’m too afraid to tell the other members, worried about what they’ll think about me if they were to find out. Wondering if they would avoid me afterwards, scared that I would like them as well. For this, I always keep a straight expression, not wanting others to read what I am thinking.
A little snore interrupted my thoughts, and brought me back to reality. Tao was deeper in sleep now, although he didn’t look very comfortable. He was still in his suit for gods sake. All of it, including his shoes.
I sighed. Pushing the thoughts of his lips out of my head, I decided to help him a bit. I turned and slipped off his shoes as carefully as possible. Putting them on the side of the bed, I brought my fingers to his neck, accidentally brushing against his collarbone and getting a ‘nnnnng’ in reply. I successfully loosened his tie and slid it off, the silk so smooth that it made no sound as it brushed against his collar. I wanted to take his blazer off, yet I had no idea how to without significantly disturbing his slumber.
Sighing inwardly, I decided to just leave it at that. I would rather risk a little discomfort than wake him up and have him hate me for the next few days for interrupting his sleep. I scooted in a little closer. I brought my right hand up and, as lightly as possible, his hair. After a few seconds, I brushed a section of hair out of his face.
I gently,
lightly,
and softly, brought my lips to his forehead. Hovering there for a few seconds, I slowly took my lips away. Looking back down, I noticed a pattern had formed where my lips had been. I must’ve still had some wine on my lips too.
I laughed to myself and rubbed it off. I got up and tucked him in, doing so as quietly as possible. I walked to the door, remembering it creaked, and placed my hand over the hinges as I opened it. This muffled the sound a bit, but in the dead silence of the room, it was still an unsettling sound to hear. I gently closed the door and walked out into the kitchen, looking for any signs of life. No one was there. I looked up at the clock: 2:30 AM. Damn. I had no idea I had been in his room that long; the others must’ve gone to sleep without saying goodnight.
Not that I minded.
I brushed my teeth and walked to my room, which I had by myself as well since this was a big living complex. I stripped of everything except my boxers and practically fell on the bed, exhausted from the day.
And, as I dozed off, thoughts of Tao drifted in and out of my head.
“What am I going to do?” I mumbled aloud and mentally slapped myself.
Can I continue feeling this way?
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