A/N: Hey Chingus! I'm back and well! Posting our update this morning and hope you like it :) 

I was supposed to post it last night but I became too busy joining the fun on Twitter for fx 8th Anniversary and we trended mind you! So to all MeUs out there keep on supporting our girls! 

Thank you to all our subscribers and all upvoters! If you do feel my story deserves an upvote, don't hesitate to click that button at the end of the chapter. 

Love you guys!

Peace Yow!

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I suggested to Shannon that we should go somewhere else since the mall is too crowded. I asked her if she has a car but she said they went to the mall by riding a taxi that is why I decided to give them a ride. It was a silent ride until her baby woke up and started to cry, then eventually stopped when the baby saw me. The baby was so cute and cuddly, maybe around 3 or 4 months old now?

“Her name is Yerin… she’s 4 months old.” she told me while looking at her daughter. I backtracked in my mind and thought… if the baby is already 4 months old, does it mean she got pregnant by that detective?

Shannon was looking so endearingly at her daughter, I can see from her smiles while playing with her baby’s hands how much she loves Yerin. A Mother’s love that is unconditional and unbreakable, full of care and protectiveness.

“She’s so cute… and pretty..” I cooed at the baby who was waving her hands and giggling when I smiled at her.

Will I able to have a baby this cute and pretty too?

Nothing is impossible now… Amber and I, even though we haven’t talk about kids… but I feel that she has a soft spot for them.

“She likes you… Yerin has never been like this to other people. She cries non-stop when other people tries to talk to her or play with her.” she smiled at me and started to her daughter’s cheeks while smiling.

We ended up in a small cafe in Apgujeong with Na Ra unnie sitting in a table near us. We ordered a cup of coffee each and some pastries. After the waiter has delivered our orders, that’s when I started to open the conversation.

I should have opened it while the order hasn’t come out but I was too preoccupied playing with Yerin that I didn’t get a chance to do it.

Shannon seems like a kind person but she has this look that you’ll think she’s a snob. She’s beautiful… what did Amber saw in her?

“I… I just want to talk to you. Amber told me everything about you before and it made me curious.” I took a sip of my coffee after, cupping my mug to feel the warmth on my hands.

She smiled on the mention of Amber and somehow I felt jealous… but I know I shouldn’t be because its all in the past now. “How… where did you meet Amber?”

“In the facility, I’m a former inmate.” she looked surprised when I said it so casually and smiling. There’s nothing to be ashamed about it, besides it made me a better person.

She stared at me for a moment looking like she’s trying to access something in her brain before she spoke again in a soft voice “You were the girl in the news… you were acquitted on the false charges against you…”

Oh… so I’m a little famous.. “Yes, I am.”

She nodded slowly before drinking her coffee, taking a glance at Yerin who was now sleeping in her stroller. “Watching the news, I admired your courage to fight such a powerful person and finally get the justice you deserve. I envy you, Miss Jung.”

“If not for Amber’s help I wouldn’t be here today. I will not be the person I am today, Miss Lee.”

It’s true, besides Eomma, Puppy, and Ssul - if not for Amber helping me get out of my miserable self before, maybe I’m not this better. She made me believe that there is still hope even though it looks like there is none, that not all people in this world are bad. Some chose to be bad in order to do good like Puppy, some in order to free their self in the harsh reality of life like Ssul, and some because of love like Eomma.

“Amber…” the way she said the name of my life sounds so sad, like saying Amber’s name makes her sad and feels regret. “She’s a good person, Amber. Too good that others take advantage of her… she trust so easily that she ends up being hurt or alone.”

“Is that why you did that to her?” I know my question sounds rude but I can’t help it. I need to mention it to her so to know the truth, why she did that to Amber.

I think it hit a nerve on her because she suddenly became sad, but managed to still smile at me and nodded. “Yes, it was my fault why she is inside that facility. If I didn’t became too greedy and so jealous asking for attention, she wouldn’t be there. Amber and I …. our relationship at the start was good.” she had this faraway look in her eyes while looking down on her cup swirling it. “She was really kind and attentive, she cares too much and gives everything that she even forgets herself.”

“She said it was 3 years… you and her before that day happened.” when Amber and I are still hanging out as ‘friends’ she lets me frequently ask her questions so I can build up my conversational skills again. I always open the topic of her ex-girlfriend, even though I’m already feeling the jealousy that time.

Shannon looked outside the window watching the passers by, I kept my gaze on her waiting for the moment she’s ready to talk about it. She sighed before looking back at me and spoke in a soft voice, smiling sadly.

“Amber is a very nice person like I told you, she’s not afraid to talk to people and show them she cares. I fell in love with her because of her genuineness and kindness… I thought that kind of love is enough in a relationship. She was my first relationship with a woman and I thought it will last, but then later on in our relationship I realized that I’m not really in love with her.” my eyebrow raised on what she said.

Does it mean that the couple of years Amber stayed with her and gave her everything, she wasn’t feeling the same and just stayed with her out of pity?

Maybe she read what’s on my mind and how my eyebrows raised that’s why she explained her side “After a year in our relationship, I fell out of love with Amber. But I can’t leave her because she’s too good for me, she’s the only person who understood me. Gives me everything I need even though I’m not asking. I know what you are thinking right now Miss Jung… yes, I took advantage of her and that angered me. Made me mad at myself because I wasn’t different from her friends who only hangs out with her because they need something.”

“I started to hook up with other people behind her back, my jealousy about her business was just to mask what I am doing. I feel really bad, really bad because I will go home in her apartment after a tryst with someone and she will welcome me with open arms and make me feel at home… makes me feel love with just a simple gesture and I hate myself for that.” Guilt. That’s what I see in her eyes right now.

Guilt because she did those things to Amber even though all Amber showed her is kindness and love.

“I started to pick up fights with her so that she will be the one to initiate the break up. I don’t want to do it because I don’t want to hurt her… but I did and it pains me to hurt someone so precious like her..” tears started to escaped from her eyes and she dab it with her tissue before taking a deep breath, releasing it slowly.

“But you did the worst…” I mumbled while looking at her.

“That guy… I didn’t know he was an undercover detective. We met a few times in a bar and hooked up… that night Amber and I had another fight that I initiated again. I thought she really was going to break up with me that time but she didn’t and that made me mad. I called the guy and met him in the bar. I was just too stupid not to notice that he’s been asking a lot of questions to me about Amber when I’m already under the influence of alcohol.”

She’s a who used Amber for her personal interest. A coward who won’t let go of a person because she doesn’t want to feel bad about it. I hate her for that but what can I do?

“So you thought of bringing the guy back to her apartment so that when she sees you with him, she’ll get mad at you and eventually break up, am I right?” I can’t help it anymore and just blurted those words out full of sarcasm in my voice. It was a very cruel move from her!

She looks so embarrassed in front of me now, holding the tissue tightly over the table. She sighed and met my gaze “Yes, I did that. It was very stupid but I did it… so that she will finally break up with me. A few days after, I learned from one of our common friend that her apartment was raided by the police.”

“Didn’t you had any inclination that the guy you are ing-- sorry for the word but I’m just really.. I can’t believe you didn’t notice he’s a detective?! Is he that good of an undercover?!?”

God… can I smack her head real hard?!

“I didn’t… he told me he was a Manager of some company. I didn’t really care because what’s important for me that time is to have fun.” she shook her head, closing her eyes full of embarrassment. “I trusted him because he seems like a good guy and he was a real gentleman when I’m with him. He will take me on dates and hold my hand when we’re out… gave me a feel of how a typical couple does without being looked down.”

My eyes narrowed on what she says. “What do you mean?”

“I felt how good was it again being in a relationship with a guy… a normal relationship. No disgusting looks when you pass by, no one talks around your back and say you two are sinners and will rot in hell. No one will say you need to be treated in a psychiatric hospital… because that is what I always hear when Amber and I will go out in the streets holding hands. I hate it when it happens that is why most of the time I hate it when she holds my hands when we are walking.”

I pity her… I pity her for being this weak.

You chose to enter that kind of relationship and yet one bad word and you crumble.

“I didn’t know that guy was just using me to get information about Amber… it was a decision for me when I brought her to Amber’s apartment that night.” my hands clenched tightly on my tennis skirt. Hearing it directly from her own mouth makes me mad.

What did Amber do in life to have this kind of people around her before?

“It was my stash of that they found inside her house. I was keeping it under the bathroom sink… Amber didn’t know anything about it.”

I shook my head disappointingly, my blood boiling on her confession. So it was hers… those sticks was hers all along and yet Amber carried all the charges.

“I was so guilty about what happened to her… even more when I found out that the detective who did the raid is the same guy she saw me cheating on her. I felt that if I didn’t bring him in her apartment, he wouldn’t see what Amber was hiding.”

“Well you should be guilty about it, because you were the reason why she’s inside that facility now.” I took a deep breath and sighed loudly, tapping my fingers on the table to control myself on slapping this .

Control yourself Soojung… control yourself.

But if all of it didn’t happen, Amber will still be doing her illegal business and the two of us wouldn’t have met if she was not taken by the authorities.

Come to think of it now, If I approached the bar that night and Henry did introduce the two of us maybe… maybe everything will change. Maybe our life took a 360 degree turn that time.

“I know… that’s why I’m paying for it now.” she smiled while looking at baby Yerin before turning to me, her expression asking for apology. “I’m not even sure who Yerin’s father is… I told the guy… the detective that I was pregnant before but he didn’t believe me and said Yerin isn’t his.” she fixed the baby’s blanket and smiled lovingly at her daughter “I told myself that I will be a better person for my daughter, I will raise her to be a good person so she wouldn’t repeat what her mother did. Raising her alone is hard, but its okay. As long as I have her… everything will be fi