A/N: Hey chingus! Just a short update for all of you. I really want to do a double update so maybe tomorrow? I can't promise though. 

Thank you to all our subscribers! 

Peace yow! ✌

----------

Song Qian’s POV

Days passed and the couple seems to be so clingy and dependent with each other. Well there’s nothing we can do about it since we’re inside a prison and we can’t go anywhere.

Sometimes when I watch Amber and Soojung, I remember my deceased husband and how we started to develop feelings for each other after we were wed. Changmin, who coincidentally has the same name with Amber's half brother, was a nice guy and a charmer too that’s why I easily fell for him.

Flashback

It’s my fault why our marriage ended up like that, if I didn’t became too engrossed and busy on being a psychologist maybe he’s still alive and we already have kids now.

Maybe he won’t settle for his best friend Junsu and be contented with me.

The last time I saw Junsu was when he visited me one month after I was incarcerated.... almost 6 years ago. When I saw him, all I felt was pity and sadness.

Regret...

I’m not mad at him... I’m mad at myself.

Because I killed the man we both love and cherish.

Even before I can say my apologies, he went to his knees first and cried asking for my forgiveness. He let out all the pride he has and knelt in front of the glass partition and cried his heart out. The jail guards tried to help him stand but he said he won’t until I forgive him.

I told him to stand up or I won’t give the forgiveness he wants, he listened and tearfully sat on the chair facing me.

Junsu looks so thin that day, barely half of the man I know before. He looks like a ghost who can’t pass the light going to the other side. His hair already long and his beard remains unshaven like his having a “NO shave November” all year long. After he has calmed down, I told him to give his side and I will listen.

He told me about the attraction my husband and he has ever since they were teens but they tried to forget it and live a normal life since both of them came from prominent families. When Changmin and I got married he accepted it and I admit, he also became a good friend to me.

That he regretted it when my husband came to him one night, utterly intoxicated because we had a fight due to the misunderstanding we had as a couple.

My husband and I had a fight because he found out that I’ve been using injectible contraceptive ever since we got married. I admit, it was a decision I didn’t tell him because I’m not ready to be a mother yet. He got mad at me and left our house in the middle of the night without telling where he is going.

He went home the morning after all sobered up and apologized to me profusely and even promise that he will support whatever I want because he loves me. That we can have the family, the kids that his parents are pressuring us to have when I’m ready.

It was then revealed that my husband went to him and ranted his frustrations and eventually confessed his feelings to Junsu. Whatever happened to them that night, I don’t want to elaborate but he said he talked to my husband about our fight and made him realize that if he really loves me he will respect my decision and we should talk about it in a calm manner.

Such tough luck having your secret rival as your husband’s adviser when it comes to our marital problems.

That the night I caught them was supposed to be the night that Junsu was going to break it all to my husband because his conscience is bugging him and his mind is telling him it’s not good.

He was going to fly to Amsterdam and lead their business there and forget about my husband so we can have a normal, quiet family life. But then it all happened and we lost that one person who brought us together.

He said that I didn’t had to doubt the love that Changmin has for me because my husband loves me very much. Many times Junsu wanted to stop their affair but many times my husband will say no and tell him he loves him as much as he loves me.

Hearing that revelation made my heart ache because all I thought before was I’m the only woman Changmin loves and cherish like he always says to me.

Well it’s true, I’m the only woman because the other one is a man.

He asked for forgiveness because he said it was his fault, if he didn’t accept Changmin’s confession and didn’t follow his heart nothing of this nightmare wouldn’t happen. That he has a choice to say no and tell him to go back to me but his heart got ahead of his brain.

Always, the brain and the heart is at fault on this kind of situations.

I forgave him... Not just because I am guilty of my crime but because nothing else will happen if I don’t forgive him. Junsu is a very good person, its just that he loved someone that he wasn’t supposed to love and in the end losing him because of it. I told him that I forgive him but he also has to forgive me because if not for my impulsive action and inability to think clearly we lost a very special person in our life.

I told him that being inside this prison for a lifetime is a punishment I accepted whole heartedly because it’s the only way I can punish myself.

Junsu left that day with a smile, relief and forgiveness written all over his handsome face. A few days after, Director Kwon called me on her office and I was surprised to see Junsu’s parents inside waiting for me.

Once the door of the office closed with Officer Lee Sungkyu standing guard at the door, Junsu’s mother gave me a letter that she said came from his son.

They told me that a day after Junsu visited me, they found him that morning inside his room dead. He took the contents of a whole bottle of sleeping pills and never woke up ever again. That the letter they gave me is one of the letters he was holding on his chest when he lost his life.

With trembling hands I opened a very short but sincere letter from the man I considered my friend and my rival.

Dear Qian,

Thank you for the forgiveness you gave me. Now I can leave this world without any remorse or regret; I can leave this world with a smile on my face. If ever I see Changmin at the other side, I will tell him how much you love him. I just don’t know if we will meet in Heaven, at in between, or worst, in Hell.

Qian, live your life free of guilt. It was never your fault, it was ours.

So long,

Junsu

I can’t help but cry on what I read. Why didn’t I realized that he is up to something?!

Why didn’t I noticed on how he looks that day, that he was already preparing to take his own life?!

Junsu’s father suddenly knelt in front of me and bowed on the floor. I told him to stand up because he doesn’t have to do it, that I already forgave their son and I hope they forgive me too. They said that as Junsu’s parents it’s also their responsibility to say sorry to me because their son is at fault too on why I am inside this prison.

End of Flashback

It was because of love that our lives crumbled, Junsu taking his own life and me punishing myself for the crime I did by serving my sentence. There is a possibility of parole after 10 years but I’m not too keen about it.

Love.

It will make you or break you.

Love broke me and sent me here in this prison to regret the crime I did.