Jaejoong’s eyes fluttered in opening and what he saw first is the white ceiling above him. He felt the weight on his right hand and saw the sleeping Yunho’s still holding onto his hand. He stared blankly at him. He titled to the left and he can see another sleeping body on the couch across the room. It was Junsu. Gazing at both miserable men; his face contained no emotion.

 

He started to feel uncomfortable with Yunho’s hand wrapping his because of the sweating. He tried to loosen up his hand away from Yunho’s grasp and found it hard to free himself. It had nothing to do with Yunho actually. His face finally shows an expression once he’s struggling to lift his hand. It didn’t move at all. He’s barely able to move his fingers. While doing so; Dr. Sungmin stepped into his room.

 

“Don’t worry…it will take sometimes…but I can assure you that you’ll able to use them like before after going through rehabilitation.”

 

Jaejoong glued his lips tight. Dr. Sungmin reached out for something underneath the bed when the bed suddenly risen up half part; making Jaejoong able to rest his back and at the same time facing Dr. Sungmin.

 

“How do you feel…?” Dr. Sungmin asked while checking Jaejoong’s bandaged wrist. Jaejoong threw his gaze outside the window; refused to say about anything.

 

“It’s okay…you don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to…” The way Dr. Sungmin conversed with Jaejoong at that time is like they just met. He heard a sudden groan behind him and he turned around.

 

“Dr. Sungmin!” Junsu stood up immediately as soon as he saw him. Dr. Sungmin replied with his reassuring smile.

 

“Junsu-ah…something’s wrong…?” Junsu’s voice has woken up Yunho too.

 

“Nothing’s wrong; Yunho-shi…you don’t have to worry…” Dr. Sungmin took a charge in explaining to Yunho.

 

“Junsu-shi…may I talk to you…in private…” Dr. Sungmin made a request to Junsu as Junsu’s waling approaching the bed. Junsu nodded while rubbing his face without questioning even a word.

 

Both of them then walking out of the room; leaving Yunho alone with Jaejoong. After making sure that the steps he heard getting further away from them; Yunho’s back at focusing on Jaejoong. He twitched Jaejoong’s hand gently but he earned no response from the latter still.

 

“Jaejoong-ah…I’m sorry…” Jaejoong seems not so interested in the talking; forcing Yunho to continue with the flow of the talk by himself.

 

“I know…you must be mad at me…I…I…yeah…I admitted that I was really angry back them…and I falsely accused for something wrong…” Yunho paused; expecting for some intrusion but the silence engulfing the room instead.

 

“I’m really sorry…” Yunho swallowed down hardly. It’s really hard for him when Jaejoong didn’t even blurt a single word. He couldn’t even read what’s written on Jaejoong’s face.

 

*Meanwhile:

 

“I can sense that there wouldn’t be any good news you want to tell me, isn’t doctor?” His chocolate brown eyes started looking wildly at people walking in the long hall way.

 

“Well…it’s depends how you see it…but if you ask me; I would say that Jaejoong-shi is so lucky that he’s still can be saved…” Junsu turned around and his heart started beating uncontrollably. Dr. Sungmin knew the looks given to him.

 

“Your hyung is fine…it’s just that…” His sentence was held midway as Junsu straightly cut him off.

 

“…it’s just that…that’s the part that I don’t like to hear…”

 

“He’s fine physically…but I’m afraid…he’s mentally not…”

 

“It’s that another way for you saying that my hyung is crazy, doctor…?” Dr. Sungmin hurriedly shook his head; doesn’t want to be misinterpreted.

 

“I just want you to be prepared, Junsu-shi…” Dr. Sungmin’s steps died. His eyes shot deeply into Junsu.

 

“He might don’t even treat you like before anymore…it seems like his heart closed completely…it might takes sometimes to convince him to trust you…we here as the doctor will always try harder but in the end…it’s up to the patient and to the relatives to make an effort…” He patted Junsu’s shoulder; sending the taller one a stiff smile before he walked away.

 

Looking Dr. Sungmin from the back; Junsu rolled his eyes in disbelieved.

************************************

3 days has passed without any improvement from Jaejoong. He did nothing except staring outside the window or spacing out blankly. He refused to eat for three days in a row until the doctor has to supply the water; preventing his body from being dehydrated. Ever since he woke up after the critical surgery; he never once open up his mouth or has any wish to do so. His skin turned into a pale color; paler than his own skin color. His lips cracked and his hands almost like turning blue.

 

But what hurt the most is; Yunho’s presence was completely ignored by him. It’s like Yunho wasn’t there. Yunho on the other hand of course never give up. He accepted the cold treatment from Jaejoong as his punishment. Junsu’s condition is getting even more devastated. His hyung’s situation badly affected him.

 

“He’s still not talking; hyung…?” Changmin came for a visit with Kibum. Yunho didn’t answer.

 

“Hyung…I came to bring you home…” Changmin made an attempt to persuade the stubborn Yunho. Yunho stick with his decision and insisted to accompany his lover.

 

“Yunho hyung…you should go home…” Junsu voiced out in a low tone. Yunho moved his head in accordance with the voice; listening.

 

“I…I wanna have some personal times with my hyung…” Yunho lowered his head. Looking at Yunho; Junsu breathed in deeply.

 

“There’s so many things happened in such a short period of time…it makes me realized something; hyung…I haven’t done anything valuable to show him how much I love him…to repay him…I was SOOO scared of losing him…and I know…you also feels the same…” Junsu walked slowly towards the sitting Yunho. He wrapped his hands around Yunho’s and knelt down in front of him.

 

“Please…” Yoochun put both of her hands above Junsu’s shoulder and pull him up.

 

“Yunho-ah…we all love you…we all love Jaejoong…we also worried about you…but the thing is Jaejoong…he isn’t like himself right now and I know you blamed yourself for that…but…” Yoochun couldn’t bear to continue.

 

“Was it greed for me to have all of him just for me…?” What Yunho just have said caused them speechless. Their mouth went dry.

 

“If it’s me year ago…I would have never thought that I’ll fall in love…now that I did…is it wrong for me to go crazy when I feel like I’m threatened…? I’m blind…how much that I’m capable of doing now…it’s really ; truthfully…having a feeling that you’re just burdening your loved one for his whole life…but even so; I still don’t wish to let Jaejoong go…” Yunho pushed the chair backward; almost got tripped while doing so.

 

“Changmin-ah…let’s go home…” Yunho’s hand roamed on the bed looking for Jaejoong’s hand and when he caught it; he placed a sweet kiss on top of the bandage wrapped. With the help with Changmin; he walked out of the room fully entrusted Jaejoong to his dongsaeng.

 

“Yoochun-ah…” Junsu called with a soft tone. Yoochun understand what Junsu meant and he then made an approach towards Junsu; cuddling him and kissed on his temple sweetly. Soon after that; Yoochun copied their action leaving out the room.

 

As one by one exited the room; Jaejoong never once turned around and gave a look or even showing his sadness; hoping for them to stay longer or accompanying him at the hospital. He’s treating them like they’re strangers to him. After bidding him goodbye; Junsu’s back focusing on his sick hyung.

 

“Hyung…” Junsu sat on the chair next to Jaejoong’s bed.

 

“I brought you something…” Junsu suddenly remember about something and he clumsily taking out something from his bag. It was the book and the pen. Junsu placed those items on the bed side table.

 

“They’re for you…to use in practicing with your hands…” Junsu elaborated.

 

“Dr. Sungmin said…it’s a good start…” Junsu heaved a heavy sigh.

 

His heart’s chanting on something; saying that he can do it; saying that he has an experience in dealing with something similar like this before. While he’s debating with his own thoughts; Jaejoong who felt his eyelids getting heavier; slowly closing down its entrance without giving Junsu a prior notice. Junsu was about to say something when he saw Jaejoong’s fallen asleep.

 

The tears rolled down uninvitingly; feeling dejected all of a sudden.

 

“I will say what I wanna say whether you hear it or not, hyung…” Junsu’s index finger traced down along Jaejoong’s fingers; each five of them.

 

“Do you still remember what did you say when I asked you about our parents…? When I asked you why we don’t have parents like any other normal kids…then you said to me…if I really wanna have parents; YOU can be both of them for me…I was a bit upset with your answer at that time…but truthfully; you really did a good job as my mom and dad…I bet it’s much more better than any real parents would do…” Junsu talked while smiling.

 

“…I’m really proud to have you as my hyung…and I wished I really can do everything that you did to me…but I failed isn’t? I failed to make you happy…” Junsu seems to fall deeply into his point of view.

 

He let the tears to wet his cheek; rolling down as he shed. He’s not the type of weeping person. The cutest cheerful bubbliest Junsu suit him the best. But that day; he surrendered just like the day he surrendered when he found out that his hyung lost the ability to speak.

 

“Hyung~” Junsu called though he knew that Jaejoong was already far into his dream land.

 

“Junki hyung told me everything…that it was just a misunderstanding…that Yunho hyung had misinterpreted what he heard…he wanted to just tell Yunho hyung the truth but he afraid that he would just be in your way…he blamed himself; hyung…he’s so ashamed to confront you…”

 

Junsu stopped in the middle of his sentence where he finally discovered that it was just a silly action for him to explain for someone who didn’t heard a word what he’s saying…what the good that can comes out from it…?

 

“You and Yunho hyung love each other…that’s what mattered the most…LOVE…”

 

“It feels different when pronouncing it…it sure has lots of meaning…LOVE…” Junsu brought his chair even closer to the bed where he can lay his head on the bed.

 

“Love…” Junsu mumbled under his breath when he finally let the sleepiness embrace the exhausted him and slowly dozing off.

 

Unknown to him; Jaejoong’s actually was listening to every single things he uttered.

************************************

 

1 week has passed where nothing has come to change. Jaejoong wasn’t spoken to any of them. They came to visit and accompanied Jaejoong but nothing seems to affect him. Jaejoong’s untouchable. The only people that he opened up his heart to are to the doctors and the nurses; at least he’s responding to them even though he’s not talking. Those who close to him are starting becoming a stranger.

 

And that day; it was Changmin’s turn to look after Jaejoong.  He; without having any expectation that Jaejoong will treat him nicely decided to leave the room for a while just to take the fresh air. The thing is; a day before Changmin had a serious fight with Kibum. He sensed that Kibum was planning something behind his back. He caught Kibum having secret phone calls and even sneaking out of the bed for almost 5 times already. Yes; he counted. He counted every single movement.

 

It started when they’re taking Yunho home that night. He was having a conversation with Yunho who was sitting at the back; trying to make Yunho talk to be précised. He noticed that Kibum have this big frown on his face after he received one particular text message. Kibum put his phone on a silent mode but because it was at night; even Kibum hid it from Changmin’s view…Changmin could see through the blinking light coming from his phone’s screen that flashed on the window.

 

Therefore; he couldn’t concentrate and couldn’t maintain himself just by sitting without doing anything. He did ask for Jaejoong’s opinion about the matter but sadly every time he throws a question to Jaejoong, all he received was the ‘what the hell’ blinking from him and he ended up answering all the questions by himself afterwards. However; right after Changmin left the room for a walk…Jaejoong pressed the emergency button with his elbow asking for some helps. The nurse rushed towards his room and took him out a while after.

 

Junsu came to the hospital urgently just to grab his phone that he left on Jaejoong’s room. As soon as he stepped into the room; his eyes widened realizing that his hyung wasn’t in the bed.

 

“Did something happen…?” Junsu searched for his phone and quickly dialed for Changmin’s number.

 

“He wasn’t in the room…?” Was what he heard from Changmin in shocking tone.

 

“But he was there just now…I just leave the room; Junsu-ah…not even for 15 minutes…” Junsu’s alarmed.

 

“Hurry Changmin-ah…! We have to look for Jaejoong hyung…hurry up!” Junsu began to panic.

 

He saw the nurses passed the room right in time. He ran after the nurses to ask about his hyung.

 

“Jaejoong-shi was scheduled to go for rehabilitation today…he’s probably somewhere around here…” Junsu inhaled deeply showing his gratitude and relieved.

*************************************

 

“Try to move your finger one by one, Jaejoong-shi…” The nurse instructed. Jaejoong was struggling to move his fingers and he was able to do so after 20 minutes passed.

 

“It’s good…” She praised.

 

“You just need to have a lot of practices…take your time…” The nurse’s waiting patiently while observing Jaejoong.

 

“Does it feel hurt…?” Jaejoong shook his head slowly; answering her question. She then wrapped around Jaejoong’s hand and opened it.

 

“Try to do it one more time…” She softly commanded and Jaejoong followed. This time; he succeeds in doing it a bit faster than his previous attempts.

 

“Okay…let’s try picking up something…” She lined up a pair of chopstick and the spoon in front of him on the table. Jaejoong’s eyeing the stuffs; doubted his capability.

 

“You can do it, Jaejoong-shi…you may not be able to succeed at first…but it just a matter of times…” Jaejoong’s having trouble to bend his fingers so that he can pick the spoon up.  

 

Whenever he tried to pick it up; he pushed the spoon further away from its place. And at the end; the spoon fell off the table clattering on the floor. The frustration was written all over his face.

 

“Do you wanna stop here…?” The nurse asked cautiously. Jaejoong was too frustrated to answer.

 

“You can continue in your room…your guardian must be looking for you…” Jaejoong didn’t budge but staring at the spoon.

 

“You have to eat, Jaejoong-shi…it’s probably because you have no energy that caused you fail…see your hands are trembling…” She made an excuse to convince the sad Jaejoong. She smiled when Jaejoong showed her some response and put a box of chopsticks on top of Jaejoong’s laps.

 

“This time…you try with the chopstick while you’re eating, okay…” She pushed the Jaejoong’s wheelchair and head to his room.

 

Junsu and Changmin witnessed the scene. They stepped back and hid at the corner as they came out. Junsu was on the verge of crying but he didn’t. They both then joined in trailing Jaejoong at the back. They only took couple steps when they saw Dr. Siwon came in running towards Jaejoong. Dr. Sungmin was after him from the back.

 

“HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN…?! I don’t understand…I just left you perfectly fine and came back just to see you like this?!” Dr. Siwon knelt down beside Jaejoong.

 

“You know…I have good news…they’re willing to help us, Jaejoong-shi…they decided to give priority to Yunho-shi…the luck is on our side…they found a donor…all we have to do; just bring Yunho-shi there; do some examinations…and set a date for the operation…but I can assure you; it’s just within one week…” Dr. Siwon was talking none stop; pouring all his excitement in one breath if possible. He only stopped upon gently pat from Dr. Sungmin. Dr. Sungmin shook his head.

 

“He’s not talking…”

 

“W…what…?” He looked at the blank Jaejoong in disbelieved.

 

“No…it can’t be...we have so many things to do…after all the things you’ve done…and…”

 

“He’s not talking even once ever since he woke up…He refused to talk...” Dr. Siwon shook his head in denial.

 

“But this is about Yunho-shi!!! You came to me; asking for my help…you’ve been doing research convinced me that Yunho’s eyes can be still treated!!!”

 

“Dr. Siwon…remember…you’re a doctor…and this is hospital…”

 

Dr. Siwon stood up and rubbed his face. He looked restless. He seems at lost looking for some words to utter. He dropped down back on his knees with his hands holding onto Jaejoong’s arm.

 

“No this can’t be…I can’t do this by myself…how do I convince Yunho-shi…?! He will never leave you even if I beg him to…”

 

Junsu titled his head to the other side. He and Changmin realized that Yoochun has been standing there nearby them together with Yunho. Looking at the way Yunho’s frowning; they believed that Yunho has been listening to the whole conversation.

 

“I’m sorry…I have to tell him no matter what…he’s been scheduled to be there in three days…if we delay this…we probably going to lose once in a life opportunity…” Jaejoong’s eyes trailed off to his hands on his laps. He didn’t say a word but there’s a slight change on his expression.

 

Dr. Siwon arose in standing position; faced Dr. Sungmin who sincerely feeling sorry towards him and turned back. However; the moment he turned his position to the opposite direction; he was surprised by the presence of Yunho.

 

Yunho’s mouth parted slightly like he wished to say something but his sentences was held midway when Dr. Siwon has taken the first step before he could.

 

“There’s something that I have to tell you…it’s about Jaejoong-shi and you particularly…

************************************

Yunho’s hands played with Jaejoong’s picture. Eventhough he wasn’t able to see it; he took it out and started to imagine Jaejoong’s face smiling at him inside his mind.

 

*Flashback

 

“Is this what you really want…? If being Jung Yunho you met before can only make you satisfy…I’ll go…” Yunho’s voice vibrated; obviously frustrated with the decision Jaejoong made behind him.

 

“But remember this, Jae-ah…I’ll go alone…and will come back to you ONLY if the operation works out…and if not…”

 

“…this is the last time you can see me…hope you won’t regret…” It broke Yunho’s heart when he couldn’t see Jaejoong’s face for the last time before he departed. And it really freaked him out if the probability that the operation goes wrong…it’ll only hurt Jaejoong even more…” 

 

Yunho said goodbye with a kiss on Jaejoong’s forehead. He left Jaejoong with a heavy heart but his mind has already made its point.

 

*Flashback End

 

A soft tap landed on his shoulder.

 

“Are you ready; Yunho-shi…?” It’s Siwon. Yunho slipped the picture back into his wallet and nodded.

 

“Hyung…are you REALLY sure that you don’t want us to tag along…?” Changmin’s voice barged in. He came and gave Yunho a hand to stand up.

 

“It’s okay Changmin-ah…Dr. Siwon is here with me…I’ll be fine…”

 

“But…”

 

“Take care of Jaejoongie when I’m not around…and I need you to be here when I come back…” Yunho seems so determined and that makes Changmin worried even more. But he was left with no more word to persuade Yunho to let him to go too. Kibum placed his hand on Changmin’s arm.

 

“We should trust your hyung; Changmin-ah…he believed that he can do it; then we should believe that he can do it…” Changmin closed his eyes tightly but still it’s hard for him to let Yunho go.

 

“I’ll inform you all the details about him that you wanna know; Changmin-shi…” Dr. Siwon gave him his reassuring smile that makes Changmin really thankful for that.

 

Both of them then send Yunho and Dr.Siwon with a thousand mixed feelings.

************************************

He saw the plane flying across the sky faintly; his heart soaked with a heavy feelings. The tears dropped from his eyes down landing on top of his hand. He looked at both of his hands and the tears running down even faster than before. He then diverted his attention to the pen and the book left on the table next to the bed. He reached for the book and tried to lift it but the book slipped off and fell on the floor.

 

Another hand reached out for the book and placed it on Jaejoong’s laps.

 

“Huh…it’s really funny…” She scoffed.

 

“If you really want to die…you should have just died that day!!! It’s no need for me to lose my brother!!!”

 

*****************************

 

NguyeNatashax3 > nope...he's actually want to make Yunho can see again...you see he was depressed with Yunho's current condition and he blamed hismelf for the fact that Yunho is blind...thanks for reading! ^_~

soyoung > i think you got the answer for your question by now... ^_^...he asked for the help from Dr. Siwon to find a way for Yunho so that he will albe to see again...thanks for reading!

Purplezest > Glad that you're still with me...^_^ .. Joongie's not quite okay right now...thanks for reading!

byul_mi > you've got half part of your guess corret! yes...he wanted to find the possible donor...thanks for reading!

rainscarlet > I'm so sorry dear...jae finally woke up...but he's not really in a good condition right now...thanks for reading!

grutugomuk > here is another update...sorry if it took quite sometimes...^_^... everything will going to be fine...it's just that...not yet...thanks for reading!

catzchii > T_T omo...yes...sorry...here the tissue for you...*hand you a box of tissue* thanks for reading!

ShineeELF26 > Omo..glad that you're here now...stay with me...Jae's not really talking now...we'll see next... ^_~ thanks for reading ! 

 

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THANKS FOR READING AND COMMENTS ARE LOVED!

LOVE YUNJAE, LOVE DBSK 5 FOREVER...!