We Miss You

~Leeteuk POV~

“Just go take Heechul-ah out to lunch. He needs to get out.”

Donghae and Eunhyuk glanced at each other before sighing.

“We may be able to make him forget for a while, but you still need to apologize, Hyung,” Donghae told me. I nodded and the two left. I would apologize later. I don’t even know why I said what I said or did what I did. I just felt the frustration and anger building within me and I just...I don’t know, snapped.

“Aigoo,” I murmured, holding my head. Who am I trying to kid? Trying to tell myself that everything’s fine. That Super Junior’s fine. HA! Biggest lie I ever told myself. Things are worse now than they were back in SuperJunior05! And things weren’t too sunny then...

All these months, I’ve tried to be the strong leader. But, in reality, I never was. I just pushed all the bad things that were in front of me under the rug and let them grow. The problems grew bigger and bigger until, finally, the rug just couldn’t cover them up anymore. Now, I had to face what I’ve done. Not only did I have to face it, but I had to fix it too. And fixing the problems when they’re this huge was just too much for one person to handle...even me. And with Kyuhyun gone...I don’t even want to think about that.

“What?!” I heard Sungmin exclaim from his room. I frowned and got up to check on him. He sounded upset. Was something wrong with his family? His brother never made him upset when they talked...only happy. I went to his room and opened the door softly. I saw him, his back facing me, talking on the phone.

“Cho Kyuhyun! You will tell me where you are right now!”

I felt my heart stop at his words, and everything was moving in slow motion. My eyes widened and I opened the door wider. Before I could stop myself, my mouth opened.

“Kyuhyun?” I saw Sungmin turn around with wide eyes, like he had been caught red-handed, which, in a way, he had. I stalked forward and grabbed the phone from his hand, holding it up to my ear.

“Kyuhyun-ah?” I asked, hoping it really was him.

“Teukie-hyung?” the voice on the other end answered.

“Kyuhyun-ah!” I exclaimed, joy filling my heart, “Where are you? Why did you leave? What are you doing? Do you know how worried I’ve been?! How crazy we’ve all been going over your little stunt?! Explain this to me! Or better yet, come back now!” As I spoke, the relief and happiness faded into worry and anger. Where the hell was our maknae?! Why did he leave?!

“...I can’t do that, Hyung,” he replied. I felt my heart sink at his words.

“Why not?! Kyuhyun-ah! You need to come back!”

“I can’t, Hyung. I’m sorry.”

“Where are you? Are you safe?”

“I’m safe, Hyung. And I’m sorry I’m putting you and all the Hyungs through this...but I can’t come back yet. I have some things to do first.”

“Like what? What’s so important that you just ran away?!”

“...Please, trust me, Hyung. I know what I’m doing. And don’t delay the ‘No Other’ promotions anymore. I won’t be a part of them.”

I felt tears come to my eyes, “Kyuhyun-ah...”

“I’m sorry, Teukie-hyung,” Kyuhyun said, and I could hear the sadness in his voice, “You know how much I love you guys, but I can’t. I’ll be back soon...I promise. But, until I come back, please carry on Super Junior activities. Don’t just hide away, Hyung. You need to lead them, whether there are 9 or 10 of us, arraso?”

I felt the tear fall down my cheek. I stayed silent for a second as Kyuhyun’s words processed through my mind. He was right...I couldn’t hide like a little boy. I had to step up as leader and get everyone through this.

“Hyung?”Kyuhyun said on the other end when I didn’t respond, “Are you still there? Did you hear me?”

“Yeah,” I whispered, wiping my tears, “I’m sorry, Kyuhyun-ah. I haven’t been a very good leader lately...”

“It’s alright, Teukie-hyung,” Kyuhyun replied, chuckling ever so slightly, “You’re only human.”

“Please, stay safe,” I told him.

“I will, Hyung,” he said, “I’m hanging up now. I’ll try to get back as soon as I can.”

“Hurry. We miss you,” I told him. He was silent for a few seconds before he replied.

“I miss you too,” he said, “I’ll call you.” And with that, he hung up. I lowered the phone and stared at the wall in front of me.

“Hyung?” I heard behind me. I turned and saw Sungmin still standing there. He looked at me curiously. Seeing his face, I remembered something...

“You have some explaining to do, Sungmin-ah.” He stiffened and rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly.

“Well...” What am I supposed to tell him?! Do I tell him what Kyuhyun is doing or lie? Aigoo...why are you doing this to me Kyuhyun?!

“Um, he called while I was talking to my brother,” I explained, the words just spilling right out of my mouth, “That’s why I screamed ‘What’...because I was surprised that he was calling. I answered and I asked him where he was, and then you came in and took the phone from me...yeah, that’s it!”

Leeteuk narrowed his eyes at me before he handed my phone back to me.

“Alright,” he said, still sounding suspicious, “Well, you should get some rest.”

“Huh?” I asked, confused. Why did I need rest? He raised an eyebrow at me.

“You should get some rest,” he repeated, “If you don’t feel well, maybe you should lie down for a bit.”

“Oh, right,” I said, smiling, “Yeah, I’ll do that.” I went over to my bed and lay down, throwing the pillow over my face. I heard the door close shut and took the pillow off to see the room was empty. I let out a sigh of relief.

I hung up with Teukie-hyung and sighed. Kibum was staring at me, curiously.

“That seemed emotional,” he said. I grabbed the pillow on the bed and threw it at him.

“Let’s just figure out how to get to Hankyung-hyung, alright?” I said, rolling my eyes. He threw the pillow on the bed and turned back to his computer.

“His concert is the only option we have,” Kibum sighed, “But the biggest issue is getting in. We can’t exactly just buy a ticket and walk into the venue...”

That’s when an idea hit me. I grinned and looked at Kibum.

“Why not?” I asked. Kibum looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, “Too many fans will recognize us. And how can we get backstage? Or are we supposed to just walk on stage while he’s performing?”

“No, think about it,” I said, “We buy the tickets for the top row where nobody will see us. The venue will be dark with lights only on the stage. They’re bound to be selling backstage passes at this place to meet Hankyung-hyung. We buy the backstage passes and get in!”

“Great idea!” Kibum exclaimed, sarcastically, “Except you forgot...tickets went on sale for this concert two weeks ago. There may be horrible seats left for us, but backstage passes are gone.”

I frowned. Great! Another problem...

“So, we’ll just sneak backstage then,” I told him, “We have one week until the concert. We’ll make fake backstage passes and sneak back...”

“Backstage passes look different for different concerts, Kyuhyun-ah. How are we supposed to make fake ones when we don’t even know what they look like?”

“Some excited fan must have posted a picture of it online! Search it.” Kibum did just that, and after what felt like hours of the page loading (damn hotel Wi-Fi), we found one.

“Well, that worked out well,” Kibum said, blinking. I smirked, triumphantly.

“See, I know what I’m talking about,” I told him. Kibum rolled his eyes and pointed at the picture on the screen.

“Yah, Mr. Know-It-All. Do you know how to make one of these?”

...Damn it!