I Know What To Do

~Hankyung POV~

After four days at home with my family, I was starting to feel better. I missed them so much. Even though Mom and Dad are divorced, Dad agreed to stay at our home so we can be closer together. He was only staying for a week, and then I would spend the other two weeks with just Mom.

“Are you enjoying your time here, Geng?” Mom asked me as I helped her in the kitchen at the dumpling shop. I grinned at her.

“I always enjoy spending time with you, Mom,” I replied. She just smiled and patted my shoulder.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t make it more exciting for you,” Mom said, “With the dumpling shop doing so well, it’s hard to step away for a while.”

“I understand, Mom,” I chuckled, “Besides, it’s my fault you’re so busy with this shop. Maybe I shouldn’t have bought it in the first place...”

She slapped my shoulder, “I wouldn’t trade this shop for the world!” I laughed at her.

“I know, Mom. I’m kidding.” She huffed as she left the kitchen to check the register.

“You better have been,” she muttered on her way out. I laughed at her silliness as she left. It was early in the morning, and we were preparing for the day here in the shop. I would always help early in the morning and then stay for a bit working in the kitchen after the shop opened. As Mom went to check the register and clean the shop up a bit, I stayed in the kitchen preparing the dumplings. As I did, I remembered I had my IPhone in my pocket. I took my headphones out too and plugged them in. I then went into my IPod and looked through my playlists. I couldn’t decide which one to play, so I went to all my songs and touched “Shuffle”. I smiled and then put it back in my pocket and turned the volume up. My smile faded once I heard the first song though.

Life couldn’t get better~

“Miracle” played through my headphones. Once I heard my singing part, I immediately changed the song. Why were these still on my IPod? I would have to fix that later...

I clicked the next button and my own song, “My Logo” came on. I smiled and let it play, dancing to the music as I prepared the dumplings. I turned around and saw Mom watching me, a smile on her face. I waved to her and continued preparing the dumplings. Once the next song came on, my happiness faded again.

Cause I can’t stop thinking ‘bout you girl~

I frowned and yanked my IPod out of my pocket, furiously pressing the “next” button.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry~

“Stop it,” I muttered through gritted teeth as I played the next song. Good, “True Forever” by Andy Lau. I smiled and slipped my phone back into my pocket, letting the soft, sweet song play. And when it ended, the next song came...

You are the one~

No.

Neorago~

Next.

Oh My Super Girl~

Absolutely not.

Shining star, like a little diamond~ Makes me love, looking at me with the sweet smile that’s like a dream to me, whisper to me~ We’ll always be together...

 “Til the end of time~” I didn’t even realize that I was singing along. Once I heard my own voice sing, I immediately stopped. Feeling more frustration than ever, I ripped my headphones out of my ears, grabbed my IPhone, and threw it on the ground. I just glared at it, as if it was ruining my life, which, in a way, I felt it was.

“Geng,” I heard Mom say, but I didn’t even look up at her. I just continued glaring at my IPhone before I kicked it straight into the wall.

“Han Geng!” Mom yelled at me. I felt my heart was racing and I was breathing hard. Why though? Why did they have this affect on me? Why couldn’t I just get rid of them?!

Mom went over to my phone and picked it up. She looked at the screen (which was now cracked) and then back up at me.

“Super Junior?” she asked. I turned my back on her and left the shop. I needed air. I simply went out to the back of the shop. I could still feel the anger within me. I kicked the trash can and it hit the wall of the shop, making a loud crashing sound as they collided. I let out a breath, trying to control my breathing. I just stood there, not knowing what else to do.

“Geng,” I heard a soft voice. I turned around and saw Mom in the doorway of the shop. She looked worried...

“Mom,” I murmured, “Ah, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that...” She smiled at me and walked toward me.

“It’s ok to get angry,” she said, caressing my cheek. I smiled at her. She then took my hand and placed something in it. I looked down and saw my cracked IPhone and headphones there. I looked back at her and she smiled sadly.

“It’s also ok to miss them,” she told me before kissing my cheek and walking back into the shop.

“Wait,” I said before she entered the shop. She turned to look at me. I tried to control my tears, but I was failing.

“Mom,” I said, my voice breaking slightly, “What do I do?”

She smiled at me, “I’m not the one to tell you what to do with your life, Han Geng. That’s your decision and your decision only.”

“I don’t know what the right decision is,” I told her honestly.

“What do you want the decision to be?”

I looked down and thought. What did I want? Did I want to continue my solo career? Or did I want to go back to them? Did I really miss Super Junior enough to go back? Go back to that company? Forget their treatment of me? Did I love them that much?

I fell to my knees and continued staring at the floor, my tears falling freely now.

“I don’t know,” I whispered, “There are so many options. I don’t want to make the wrong choice...” I didn’t even realize Mom had walked toward me until I saw her feet right in front of me. She kneeled down beside me and lifted my chin to look at her. Her eyes were also teary.

“You know how I feel about them. You know how I feel about the company. And you know how I feel about you. Just know, Geng, that you always come first. Whatever decision you make, I will always support you.” She gave me a small smile.

“And remember what I always told you,” she continued, “The most important thing in life is not money or fame, but...” She trailed off, but she didn’t need to continue. How could I forget the values that she had raised me with?

“Thank you, Mom,” I whispered. She smiled and kissed my forehead.

“You will always be my son, Han Geng. Whether you are on stage, in Korea, or at home, you will always be the Han Geng that I gave birth to. The Han Geng that I raised. The Han Geng that developed from a little boy to a grown man so fast right before my eyes.” I let out a small chuckle and she smiled.

“I love you Han Geng, and I support whatever decision you make. But, make the decision that makes you happy. Don’t make a decision with your head, make it with your heart. I just want you to be happy.”

“I will, Mom,” I told her, cupping her face with my hand, “I’ll make you proud, I promise.”

“You already have, Geng,” she whispered. I smiled and she stood up.

“Now,” she said, wiping her own tears and holding her hand out to me, “Let’s go finish preparing those dumplings, eh?” I chuckled and grabbed her hand, standing up with her. I slung my arm around her as we walked into the kitchen together, both wiping our tears.

He walked up the steps and rang the doorbell, only waiting a few seconds before the door opened and that familiar, friendly face greeted him. The man who opened the door was shocked as his eyes grew wider. He could only manage one word at his visitor...

“You.”