Broken Promise

~Hankyung POV~                            July 18^th, 2010

The flight back to my home was longer than it has ever been for me. I couldn’t stop thinking about them. About Super Junior. Why though? Why was I still so attached to them? I thought I broke all ties with them. I stopped contacting them. I stopped watching their performances. I practically erased them from my memory. For their sake.

If I hung onto them any longer, nothing good would come of it. I would miss them and I wouldn’t be able to be happy with my solo career. And they would think that I still cared and try to contact me. And that would risk their careers with SM. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t let them risk themselves for me...

But, if I was doing this for them, then did that mean I cared? Or was I selfish? Staying away from them so that I can be more successful. Was it selfish or selfless? Was Kyuhyun right?

Kyuhyun...just last night he asked me to come back to Super Junior. And what did I do? I yelled at him. I told him he was crazy. And then...I hit him. I punched him right in the face. He didn’t deserve that, not when he was just trying to save his group, his family...my family.

No. Super Junior is not my family anymore. I let them go the day I filed the lawsuit against SM. We stopped being family as soon as I signed my name at the courthouse that day. It’s done. I’m gone from Super Junior. There’s no going back.

I sighed as I leaned back into the plane seat. We’ve only been in the air for an hour and there was still another hour to go. I closed my eyes as I felt myself drift off...

~***~

As I stood in the doorway of the dorm with my bags packed, I turned back around to see everyone staring at me with sad eyes. I smiled encouragingly at them.

“Come on guys,” I said, “It’s not forever.”

“It kind of is, Hankyung-hyung,” Eunhyuk said, sniffling, “You’re suing the company. You might not come back...”

I patted his head, “I’ll always be around, Monkey. You can’t get rid of me.” He laughed slightly and pushed my hand away playfully. I laughed lightheartedly.

“How are you so calm about this?” Heechul asked, his arms crossed as he stood in the corner, “You’re leaving. Why aren’t you sad?”

“Of course I’m sad, Heechul,” I told him, going into the corner with him, “But I’m not going to dwell on my sadness. And neither should you.”

Heechul just scoffed and turned his head away. I leaned forward and saw a tear on his cheek.

“Heechul,” I said, smirking slightly, “Are you crying?”

“Pft, no!” he scoffed, rubbing his cheek.

“He is!” Donghae exclaimed, crouching down in front of Heechul to get a good look at his face, which was facing down. Heechul smacked his head, making him fall over.

“No I’m not!” Heechul shouted. I wrapped my arms around Heechul, hoping to make him feel better.

“It’s ok, Heechul,” I said, “We’ll still be in contact.” I felt his arms wrap around me as well and he buried his face into my shoulder.

“Promise me,” he said, “We’ll always be best friends.”

I let go and looked him in the eye, “I promise.” Heechul smiled and wiped his tears away.

“Aw!” everyone exclaimed, and Heechul glared at them.

“Yah! Don’t you have something else to do?!” he yelled. That made me and everyone else laugh. Such good times...I’ll miss them.

“You sure about this, Hankyung?” Leeteuk asked me. I nodded.

“I can’t put up with this anymore,” I said, trying not to cry, “It’s too much. I’m falling apart.”

Leeteuk nodded, “I understand. Just know, you’ll always be a part of Super Junior.”

“Yeah, you’ll always be our foreigner,” Kangin said, smiling brightly.

“I thought I wasn’t a foreigner?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, just for today,” Kyuhyun said, slinging his arm over my shoulder, “You can be a foreigner.”

“Hey, if he’s not a foreigner in Korea,” Yesung said, thinking aloud, “Then will he be a foreigner when he goes back to China?”

We could do nothing but stare at him blankly.

“You’re so weird, Hyung,” Ryeowook said at last, making us all laugh, even Yesung.

“I’ll miss this,” Shindong said, wiping a tear away.

“We all will,” Sungmin added.

“May God protect you on your journeys,” Siwon said, hugging me.

“Oh will you stop with the God stuff?!” Heechul shouted, annoyed. I just laughed at him.

“It’s ok, Heechul,” I chuckled, patting his back, “Just let him have his fun.” Heechul huffed and I laughed again. He was impossible.

“Hankyung,” Leeteuk said, seriously. I turned back and he smiled at me, tears in his eyes, “Promise us. Promise us you won’t ever forget about Super Junior. We’ll always stay brothers. Promise?” He held his hand out and I smiled. I grabbed his hand and shook it as the tears finally spilled from my eyes. I chuckled as Donghae and Eunhyuk reached around to wipe them for me.

“I promise. You’ll always be my family. I’ll never let you go.”

~***~

I woke up as I felt the bump of the plane touching the ground. I touched my cheek and felt it was wet. I was crying. Why? Why couldn’t I do it?

Why couldn’t I keep my promise?