Welcome Back

~Heechul POV~

“I guess this is it...” I love these guys, I really do, but this is for the best. I can’t continue to bring this team down. It’s time for me to go to the army, learn some lessons, and then come back stronger than I was when I left. By leaving for two years, I hope I can come back a different person. No, I will come back a different person. A person who can lead my dongsaengs, like I should be able to do now.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Leeteuk said, continuing to stare at the floor. He reached up and wiped his eyes. Was he crying? For me?

“Jungsoo,” I sighed, walking over and hugging him, “I won’t be gone forever you know.”

He nodded, not saying a word. Everyone around the room was in the same state, just looking at the ground, not saying a word. Geez, I didn’t know everyone would be so upset about me leaving.

“Heechul-hyung,” someone said, and I looked over to see Yesung there, staring at me. He looked like he was fighting...fighting not to breakdown now.

“Jongwoon-ah,” I said, gently. I wasn’t mad at him. How could I be mad at him when he was right? What have I done for this team? Given them a pretty face? That only takes you so far...

“Please don’t go,” he pleaded, softly. I tried my best not to agree. Agree to stay here just so everyone would stop crying for me. I hate tears...what are they worth? What do they do? All they do is make you feel weak for letting them out in the first place. No, I won’t stay.

“I need to go,” I told him, “I need to clear my head, get out of this industry. I need time.” Yesung didn’t say a word. Not like I expected him to.

“What will the fans say?” Sungmin asked me, “When you, all of a sudden, enter the army.”

“They’ll understand,” I replied, shortly, “They always do.”

“When you give them time to,” Henry sighed, “You’re leaving in five minutes and nobody knows but us.”

“They’ll understand,” I repeated. Would they? They should. This is my decision. Besides, I’m not gone forever. Two years and I’ll be back on stage with these guys. Just two years...

Leeteuk then stood up from his spot on the couch and walked over to me. He stood up tall and raised his hand to his forehead, saluting me. I could see the tears in his eyes, and the fight he was going through not to release them.

“Work hard,” Leeteuk said, sniffling slightly, “And come back stronger than ever. I’ll need you to lead these kids when I leave.” Though he was trying to keep his strong, leader “Leeteuk” façade up, I knew Jungsoo. So, I did what Jungsoo needed me to do...

“Don’t cry, Jungsoo,” I said, wrapping my arms around him in an embrace, “I’ll be back soon. Don’t cry.” I felt his arms tighten around me and I could feel him shaking against me. Soon, I felt another pair of arms wrap around me, and I saw Kibum on my right. Donghae joined on my left, and before I knew it, we were all tangled together in a group hug. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so bad about anything in my life. Leaving these guys...it hurt. It hurt a lot. But, it was something I needed to do...just like Hankyung needed to leave. I immediately erased that thought from my mind. He was gone...he wasn’t coming back.

“Hey, where’s our maknae?” I asked once we all released from the group hug, “And I mean our other maknae, Henry. Don’t feel left out.” Henry just laughed, shaking his head.

“He ran out a few minutes ago,” Siwon said, “He might be down in the lobby. His keys are still on the table, so he couldn’t have gone far.”

“We’ll all walk down with you,” Leeteuk declared, smiling through his tear-filled eyes. I smiled.

“I’d like that,” I responded. We all gathered together and left the dorm. Before leaving, I took one good look around the dorm. The very same dorm that I’ve been living in for years now. I knew I could come and visit, because I was only working as a public service officer, but it wouldn’t be the same just visiting. Nothing would be the same.

We all walked to the lobby in silence. It wasn’t awkward though, it was comforting. The sounds of everyone’s feet walking beside me, and the small pressure of Kibum’s arm around my shoulder really made me feel safe. It felt comforting to have these guys around me, just like on stage. We were always together, and this felt no different.

When the elevator finally reached the lobby, we all walked out together. It was raining. Thankfully, there were no fans around. It was probably because of the rain. Or maybe they knew that they didn’t want to be here today. They didn’t want to say goodbye. Whatever it was, I was thankful. I didn’t want to see anymore tears today...

“Well, this is where I leave you guys,” I said, seeing the van outside with our manager, waiting for me.

“Goodbye, Heechul,” Leeteuk said, nodding, “Work hard and be safe and healthy.”

I smiled, softly, “I should be telling you that, old man!”

“Hey! You’re not so much younger!” Leeteuk retorted. We were silent for a few seconds before we both burst out laughing.

“I’ll miss you,” Leeteuk sighed, trying to hold his tears in again. Please don’t cry again...

“I’ll miss you too, Jungsoo,” I said, “I’ll miss all of you. Don’t beat this old man up too much, ok?”

“Will you stop?!” Leeteuk whined, and we all laughed.

“I’ll see you guys in two years,” I told them, smiling, “It’ll-”

“NO NO NO STOP!” a voice yelled from behind me. I turned to see Kyuhyun running toward me, soaking wet.

“Kyuhyun-ah!” I exclaimed as he stopped in front of me, “Where have you been? You missed our touching moments together!”

He was panting, leaned over, gripping his knees, trying to catch his breath, “And there will be plenty more moments together.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, “Kyu, I’m leaving today.”

“Oh, no you’re not,” Kyuhyun said, chuckling, still trying to catch his breath.

“You can’t stop me,” I told him. Why was he trying to stop me? I’m leaving, just accept it Kyuhyun. I don’t want to leave you for two years on bad terms.

“Just...wait,” he said, standing up straight, “Just wait five more minutes.”

“Why should I?” I snapped, eyes narrowing, “Don’t so this, Kyu. Just accept it.”

“Can you guys help me here?!” Kyuhyun exclaimed, “Five minutes! What’s it going to hurt?”

“Just do it, Heechul-hyung,” Sungmin said, putting an arm on my shoulder, “It’s not going to hurt, and it’ll make Kyuhyun happy.” He was right, I guess. What could happen in five minutes?

“No way!” I heard Zhou Mi exclaimed from behind me. Kyuhyun turned around and his face lit up in a large smile.

“He’s here!” he exclaimed, running to the door. I looked through the door and saw a taxi in front of the building. Someone was getting money out for the driver while the driver got some bags out of the trunk. He closed the door and took the cash and the guy turned around just as Kyuhyun jumped on him, hugging him. I couldn’t see who it was, since he was wearing a hat and glasses. But that hat...that hat...

Kyuhyun grabbed the bags while the guy held the door for him. Kyuhyun was running, trying to get into the lobby as fast as possible. Once the stranger entered the lobby, he took his glasses and hat off, and I got a clear picture of his face.

“Hankyung!” I heard everyone around me shout, running to him and practically jumping on him. I saw his face light up, seeing all of their faces and hugging them all. I was frozen where I was, just staring at him. He was laughing while everyone around him was trying to hug him and talk to him. Leeteuk and Donghae were crying, again. Hankyung’s face shined brighter than any of them though.

“Hey, Heechul!” I heard him exclaim. His voice...I haven’t heard him say my name in so long.

“Kim Heechul!” he repeated, “Get over here and give your best friend a hug!” I don’t know what made me do it, but my feet just started moving toward his direction, slowly. It felt like forever before I finally got to him and just stared at him. He gave me one of his usual smiles. The smile that always came out when we drank together, or when we told jokes together, or even when we sang bad karaoke together. That smile...

“Don’t tell me you’re going to leave right after I come back for you, hm?” he asked me in his usual ‘You’re going to do what I say’ tone. And, of course, I’ve fallen victim to it.

“I...” I started, but stopped. Could I still leave now? Could I really be the one to break us all apart right after we’ve just been reunited again? Am I really leaving for the team, or just myself?

“Don’t go, Heechul-hyung,” I heard Yesung say, “Please don’t.” I continued to stare at Hankyung’s face as a smile broke out across my face.

“I won’t,” I whispered, “I won’t leave you. I won’t leave Super Junior.”

There was silence for a second before cheers broke out all around me, followed by multiple pairs of strong arms wrapping around me in a hug. But, I only felt that one person hugging me close to him, smelling the scent that I haven’t smelled in almost a year. And as I felt those familiar arms around me, I felt the emotions that I’ve been keeping bottled up inside for the past month and a half release. I let myself go for the first time and actually cried into these familiar arms. I wanted to speak, but I couldn’t find the words. I barely registered the cheers around me, and the mess of tears that everyone was. There was only one thing on my mind...

Hankyung...welcome back.