I Don't Know...

~Sungmin POV~

It’s been over a week, and nothing from Kyuhyun. Is he ok? Did he get through to anyone? Is he even still alive? I don’t know. I’m so worried about him. But, every time I call him, it goes straight to voicemail.

All I do is think about him. Well, it’s a distraction from all the crap going on here at the dorms. What was going on, you may ask? Just the usual, only worse. Since Heechul-hyung’s announcement about his military enrollment just yesterday, everything has been even tenser.

I left my room. The only ones without a schedule today were Heechul, Yesung, Ryeowook, and myself. Everyone else was off on some kind of activity. I’m surprised there are this many of us at home together with how busy everyone has been.

Going into the living room, I was met with tension. Heechul and Yesung were on completely opposite sides of the couch while Ryeowook was watching television on the floor between them. Ryeowook...he’s been strong during this time. The only one who acted as if there was no tension. He didn’t like it either.

“Hey,” I said, coming into the room. Yesung and Heechul the couch. Yesung nodded stiffly and Heechul just turned back around. Ryeowook saw me and smiled widely.

“Hyung! Come watch our performance from last night!” he exclaimed, pulling me down to the floor with him. There, playing on the television, was our “No Other” performance from last night’s Inkigayo. I tried to smile for Ryeowook, but watching the performance made me sad. Only nine of us on stage...it shouldn’t be that way.

Yeah, we finally had our comeback for “No Other”. Even though it was delayed about two weeks, we finally performed it over the weekend. We had made up the story that Kyuhyun had some pain in his ribs and so he was removed from the promotions. It worked out well, considering his accident three years ago. Passing the pain off as a small recurrence from the accident was a success. After reassuring fans that it was nothing serious and just stress related, they calmed down. However, the get well gifts for Kyuhyun have been overwhelming...

“We look good, don’t we?” Ryeowook said. I smiled at him.

“Yeah, we’re awesome,” I said, slinging my arm around his shoulders and squeezing them. Ryeowook smiled brightly and continued watching.

Then, the doorbell rang. I was going to get up and get it, but Yesung-hyung beat me to it. He opened the door and there was a delivery man there with a package.

“A package for Cho Kyuhyun,” he said. Yesung nodded and signed for the package. He brought it over and opened it. There was a bunch of flowers and a get well card signed by about ten fans for him. Yesung frowned and threw the card into the flower basket before handing it over to Heechul.

“What do you want me to do with it?” Heechul asked.

“You lost our maknae, why don’t you go find him and give it to him,” Yesung snapped. I closed my eyes. Not again...

Heechul threw the basket onto the couch and stood up, glaring at Yesung.

“How many times do I have to apologize before you let it go?” he asked through gritted teeth. Yesung shrugged.

“It doesn’t matter,” he replied, calmly, “It won’t change anything until Kyuhyun comes back, unharmed.”

I saw Heechul clench his fists and lean toward Yesung. I quickly stood up and stood in front of him, touching his shoulder gently.

“Hyung,” I murmured, “Don’t.” Heechul took a deep breath and nodded. I let him go, thinking it was ok now. But, Yesung continued.

“I guess you probably won’t see our forgiveness,” Yesung said, “You’ll be gone in less than two months anyway.” I glanced at Heechul and saw that he looked sad, but not angry. I sat back down...just a few seconds too soon.

“Good riddance,” Yesung continued, and that pushed Heechul over the edge. And before I could stop him, he had punched Yesung in the mouth. I jumped up and pulled him away while Ryeowook ran to Yesung’s side.

“Hyung,” I said, pulling him away with all my strength. Damn, he was strong.

“You don’t want me around anymore?!” Heechul screamed, “Why don’t I leave now! Will that make you happy?!”

Yesung looked up and spit blood onto the floor. Ryeowook had grabbed a towel and was helping him wipe the blood off his chin. Heechul must have hit him hard.

“Why don’t you?!” Yesung shouted back, “What have you done that’s relevant to this group anyway?! Huh?!”

“Hyung, stop,” Ryeowook muttered, still wiping the blood away. Heechul tried to go after him again, but I held him back.

“Stop it, Hyung,” I said through gritted teeth as I struggled to hold him back.

“I’ve done more than you!” Heechul yelled, “All you do is sing! I actually go on shows and promote Super Junior!”

“And make yourself look better!” Yesung fired, “Everything you do is for yourself! When have you ever taken one for the team?!”

“Everything I do is for the team!”

“Yeah, because losing Kyuhyun helps us!”

“I said I was sorry!” Heechul screamed, his voice breaking. He had tears in the corner of his eyes. He stopped struggling and I loosened my grip slightly.

“Heechul-hyung,” I murmured. He jerked himself out of my grasp and grabbed his jacket.

“I’m going for a drink,” he snapped, putting his shoes on. No, not again. He’s been drinking way too much lately.

“Hyung, don’t,” I said, going over to him, “You’ve been having too much.”

He didn’t say a word as he tied his shoes.

“Heechul-hyung, please,” I begged, “Don’t leave.” He looked back at me with tear-filled eyes. He then looked at Yesung, who was glaring at him with blood still dripping out of his mouth. He shook his head and ran out the door, slamming it shut behind him. I jumped at the loud ‘whack’ it made as it slammed into the panel. I just stood there, staring at the door. I actually contemplated going after him. He needed to be stopped.

“Just let him go,” Yesung said, and I turned to look at him. He was standing up now. He pushed Ryeowook away and snorted, “Who needs him anyway?” And with that, he left for his room, slamming the door shut.

“Hyung,” I heard Ryeowook say. I looked over and saw him, still holding the bloodied towel in his hand, tears in his eyes as he stared at me, helplessly.

“Sungmin-hyung,” he said, his voice trembling, “When will it get better?”

I glanced at Yesung’s room, and then back at the door Heechul had just gone through. I closed my eyes and bowed my head.

“I’m sorry, Ryeowook-ah,” I murmured, “I don’t know.”

I heard Ryeowook’s broken sobs as I clenched my fists. If this answer hurt him so much, how could I continue on with it? I felt a lone tear stream down my cheek as I thought of the true answer. The one that would rip Ryeowook to shreds.

I don’t know...if it will ever get better.