Turned out the cancer had spread to Jackson's pancreas.

After several tests (blood tests, upper endoscopy, upper GI series test, CT scan, biopsy...) the treatment team told us what was going on. Jackson's parents were the only ones that were allowed to go see him. I spent the whole night in the hospital, praying that this all would be just a bad dream. I had curled up into a small bundle and thrown the blanket on top of me, so I probably looked like a pile on trash. I was freezing. My eyes were red and hurting because I had been crying the whole time. My heart was barely beating anymore.

”Miss... are you okay?”

I shivered and shook my head. The blanket covered most of my face so I couldn't really see who was talking to me, but I guessed it to be one of the nurses.

”Could someone come pick you up?”

I bursted into tears.

My personal taxi driver was gone.

”It's okay”, the woman said calmly and placed her hand on my shoulder. ”I'll get you a cab. Don't you have any clothes with you?”

I shook my head again. One more headshake and my brain would go blank. I was actually waiting for that, eagerly.

”Come with me, I'll give you some of mine. Aren't you that boy's friend who just went to the surgery?”

I raised my head just a little to see the woman's face. She looked tired but friendly. Her dark brown hair was on a bun behind her head. ”Jackson's... I'm Jackson's friend”, I mumbled.

The woman's eyes turned sad. She looked down and took a deep breath. ”I'm so sorry. This must be very difficult for you.”

So it was true. He was getting worse. I swallowed a sob.

”Come with me”, the woman said and helped me up from the floor. ”You must be freezing... How come nobody came to ask if you were alright...”

I just stared in front of me, unable to answer. ”Can I see him?”

”Who?”

”Jackson”, I said, my voice breaking.

The woman bit her lip and turned to look away. ”His parents don't want anyone else to visit.”

”Is he gonna be alright?” I asked. I knew it was a stupid question but I couldn't help myself. He had to get better, no matter what.

”I have faith in him”, the nurse said quietly. ”But the statistics are against him.”

”What does that mean?” I asked stumbling across the hallway. People were staring at me like I was some kind of a ghost. Which I probably looked like.

”That means... that his chances are minimal. We've been treating him for months now and it hasn't gotten any better. And now that we found out it has spread... I'd say his chances are one out of hundred.”

A bunch of sobs escaped my mouth.

One.

Out of hundred.

”I'm so, so sorry...”

The nurse took me to a dressing room and offered me her casual clothes. I took them without hesitating. I felt as if my body was just a machine and I was the one controlling it. Nothing felt normal. Raising my hand felt strange. Moving my head felt strange. Every move took a lot of effort.

I managed to get dressed and the nurse gave me some money for a cab. I thanked her and walked out of the hospital, my arms wrapped around me like it would somehow hold my heart together. It was easily past midnight, probably close to three o'clock. I had no idea where JB and the others had gone, and to be honest I didn't even care. I just wanted to go home.

I waved myself a cab and sat on the backseat, staring out of the window into the night.

”Where to?” the driver had turned to me. He was pretty young, in his mid twenties. I had two options. I would either go home and get my stuff from Bambam's tomorrow, or go to Bambam's and get them now. Even though I wanted to go home and just curl up on my bed and cry, I told the driver Bambam's address. He nodded with a smile and started driving.

”Rough night?” he asked and glanced at me through the rear-view mirror.

I swallowed and nodded slightly. ”You could say so.”

”Are you alright?” He frowned and quickly looked at me over his shoulder. ”I've seen worse looking people in zombie movies.”

I snorted icily. How could he possibly know how bad the situation was. He was just trying to make me feel better. ”Well I feel like a zombie”, I said. ”But I'm fine, thank you.”

”Is this your address? I mean, it's a pretty wealthy neighborhood. Not that I think you're poor or anything...” the driver said, still furrowing. I couldn't blame him. I probably looked like a beggar with my little too small clothes, messy hair and puffed up face.

”It's my friend's house. I left something there.”

”What?”

I snorted again. This driver was way too curious to be a professional. ”Just clothes and stuff.”

”Why would you leave your clothes there?” he asked taking a left.

”Why do you ask so many questions?”

The driver chuckled and his face lightened a little. ”Everyone says that.”

I stayed quiet.

”I'm just curious, that's all. Also, drunken people always tell me the best stories. I'm like their living diary”, he continued.

”What makes you think I'm drunk?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. The guy glanced at me through the mirror.

”One, you smell like alcohol, two, your eyes are red and puffy, three, you just took a cab instead of driving yourself.”

”I'm just tipsy”, I mumbled and immediately smelled my breath. It did smell like alcohol. ”You're pretty good at reading people.”

”That's because I do it alot. And I watch Sherlock Holmes.”

”I see...” I muttered. The driver chuckled. Then he pulled a straight face.

”I sense guy problems, am I right?”

I swallowed and stared out of the window. ”How did you know...”

”You're giving me the dumped vibe”, he said more quietly. ”Which is actually quite... witless.”

”What's that supposed to mean”, I mumbled with an annoyed tone.

The driver stopped to red lights. ”I mean, you're pretty even when you look like a zombie and from what I've learned from you, you seem like a great girl. So what I'm saying is that I can't think of a reason why someone would dump you.”

I could feel the tears burning my eyes. I bit my lip and shook my head to keep myself together. ”That's because you only see the tip of the iceberg.”

The driver glanced at me. ”So you've done something bad?”

”Yeah”, I breathed.

”You cheated?” the guy asked cautiously.

I pressed my lips together and took a deep breath. I wanted to say ”worse” but I couldn't say anything without bursting into tears. And that wasn't going to happen.

”I'm sorry you don't have to answer that”, the driver said and flashed me a quick smile. ”If it makes you feel any better, just know that I cheated twice. I swear it's the alcohol. It makes me do stupid things.”

”Maybe we shouldn't drink”, I mumbled.

”Maybe.” We were getting closer to Bambam's neighborhood. ”What's your name?”

I hesitated a second but decided not to give a . So what if he knew my name? What difference in the world would that make? ”Miranda.”

”Nice to meet you Miranda”, the guy said nodding his head politely. ”I'm Youngbae.”

”Nice to meet you too...” For some impossible reason, I was feeling a bit better. I didn't feel like going home anymore. ”Thanks for being a living diary.”

”That's what cab drivers are for, right?”

I snorted shaking my head. ”I guess.”

The guy- Youngbae, pulled something out of his pocket and turned to look at me over his shoulder. My eyes widened when my imagination started drawing devils on the walls. Did he have a gun? Was he going to kidnap me? Was he going to kill me? ”Here. From now on, if you need a ride, give me a call.”

I stared at the business card in his hand. This had to be a joke. I had just lost my personal driver and this happened? Fate was pulling jokes on me. I couldn't stop the hysterical chuckle coming out of my mouth. ”Wow.”

”Just take it. I rather chauffeur you than some drunk old man”, the guy said. ”Besides I want to know what happens in the next chapter.”

”What next chapter?” I asked, slowly taking the card from his offering hand.

”Your next chapter. Every person is a book with chapters, you know? And when you read the first chapter, you want to know what happens next, right?”

I just stared at him through the mirror. He stared right back at me.

”You don't think I'm weird, do you?”

”No, but you should stop watching that Sherlock Holmes”, I mumbled.

”Got it”, Youngbae said and grinned. ”I've watched them all like five times anyway.”

”That explains alot”, I chuckled lightly.

Youngbae rolled his eyes and raised his eyebrows. ”Is this the house?”

I turned to look out of the window. Just seeing the spot where Jackson had been lying just hours ago made the tears burn my eyes again. ”Yeah, this is it.”

”Alright.” Youngbae stopped the car in front of Bambam's house and turned around to face me. ”Are you gonna be okay?”

I nodded slightly.

”That was a stupid question, wasn't it...” he continued quickly and frowned.