Everything went down on a Tuesday.

It was one of those days, when I would actually concentrate on school and ignore my beeping phone, putting it on silent. I wasted Jackson's final hours sitting in a library, staring at my history book without even reading it properly. I just browsed the pages and looked at the pictures, reading just the highlighted parts that caught my eyes. There hadn't been a single sign, that Jackson would've gotten worse. He had been in pretty good shape that morning, waving me goodbye when I left his house for school. I had told him I'd be back by four, since I had to take some time to actually study.

It was 3 pm when I looked at my phone for the first time that day. I had fifteen missed calls and several messages from several people. It only took me a few seconds to realize what was going on.

I left my backpack and my books behind as I ran out of the library, towards the parking lot. There wasn't a single car that could've given me a lift. Everything seemed hopeless.

I took out my phone and scrolled through my contacts. As I tapped the phone screen, I noticed that my fingers were shaking. All the messages had been sent about an hour ago, so I was late. I couldn't be late.

Please. Let him live.

I dialed a number that said "sherlock taxi" and flipped the phone to my ear.

"I need a taxi at the library", I managed to say without getting hysterical. 

"Hey, hey, calm down. Which library?" a man responded calmly. I told him the address, still trying my best to sound polite, but the hysteria took over me. My breathing became more and more shaky and uneven, and the shivers would not stop running down my whole body.

The ship was sinking. One of messages had said something about the ER, so I figured he had been taken there. My pulse was high in the clouds and my palms were sweaty. I rubbed my hands aggressively against my thighs.

Oh my god... This can't be happening.

This isn't happening.

When the cab came, I jumped in on the front seat and buckled up. "To the ER. We need to hurry."

"Hey, I know you..." the driver said when he had gotten a glimpse of my face. "You're the drunken chick who got dumped! Iceberg!"

For some reason I couldn't speak. I couldn't tell him to in step on it and hurry the up. I couldn't scream at him that my boyfriend was currently taking his last breaths of air, that his heartbeats were slowing down as we spoke. I just couldn't. I couldn't even breathe properly.

"What's going on?" the driver said and finally speeded up. Maybe he had realized that something bad was about to happen. Maybe he felt my despair. My absolute horror that was currently eating me from inside out, so that soon I couldn't even step out of the car. "You're in a shock?"

I tried to swallow but my throat wouldn't let me. I was already in the water. My ship was somewhere below me. Half below the surface. One foot in the grave.

"Okay, take a deep breath. Can you breathe?"

"Yes." No.

"Right... Alright, just breathe and we'll be there in a few minutes. You're gonna be alright."

I didn't care if I was going to be alright. Jackson wouldn't be alright.

It was way too early. No this couldn't be happening. We hadn't had enough time. He had not had enough time, it wasn't fair. "What if I won't make it..."

"Make what? Iceberg, you will be just golden, I'm telling you-"

"What if... if h-he's, what if, if he's already dead", I heard myself say. And hearing the sentence made my fear real. This was actually happening. Jackson was actually at the ER right now, maybe unconscious, maybe he was crying in pain, maybe he was asking where I was...

I could see how the driver suddenly squeezed the wheel and clenched his jaw. He stopped asking questions and focused on driving fast. I was surprised I hadn't started crying yet. My phone buzzed in my hand.

I read the caller's name and answered immediately.

"Miranda! I tried calling you-"

"H-how is he?"  I asked without wasting any time. "I'm on my way to the ER, tell me he's-"

"It's bad", Eunmi was crying. I could hear another voice talking in the