After eating (and my little nap), everyone gathered into the livingroom to watch tv and just chill together. Jackson seemed more than pleased. We had conquered the big couch, Jackson was resting his head on the armrest and I rested my head against his chest. JB sat on the floor along with Youngjae, Bambam and Eunmi, and Jr sat on the smaller couch with his girlfriend on his lap. It was nice, no one had really nothing to say, but it didn't matter because atleast we were all together. Eunmi snuggled closer to Bambam, who squeezed his arm tighter around Eunmi. Jackson took a deep breath and placed a soft kiss on top of my head. I tightened my grip around his torso. JB leaned his back against my knees and his head was constantly swaying in front of me, blocking the tv. I didn't mind, all that really mattered was that Jackson was half asleep beneath me, placing sleepy kisses on my head, distracting me from everything that was going on in the tv. Only Youngjae's sudden bursts of laughter made me aware that there was actually something going on on the tv screen. I felt like everyone else was actually watching it, except Jackson and I. We were in our comfortable little bubble, enjoying everyone's presence without having to do anything to aknowledge it. We enjoyed listening to our friends' little chats about the movie, chuckling to Youngjae's laugh every once in a while.

”I swear if he doesn't go back to her I'm gonna throw that tv out of the freaking window”, Bambam exclaimed. I could only see the back of his head, so I couldn't tell if her was being genuine or just fooling around. Youngjae's and JB's chuckles revealed his intentions false and I relaxed again, breathing in Jackson's scent. I was pretty sure he was sleeping. His breathing was slow and steady, like every night I fell asleep next to him.

We spent the rest of the day there, quietly chilling, talking about stuff that didn't really matter, mundane stuff. Jackson slept contently like a cat on the couch, while everyone else leaned against the couch and sat on the floor, including me. He probably felt safe sleeping there, when everyone was around, talking and chatting away. It was like one of those evenings, when the gentle chatter felt like a lullaby that you had needed in your life since your mom actually sang lullabies to you. It was like one of those evenings when the darkness outside felt very distant and the warmth of the people close to you kept you cozy and comfortable. Jackson smiled in his sleep. His face was completely still, only his nostrils flaring along with his sleepy breaths. I raised my hand to brush my fingers through his hair. It was rough and pitch black, but not as thick as it used to be. Few strands of hair got stuck between my fingers and they came off when I pulled my hand back. It was a reminder. He had seemed so well, sleeping there like he was perfectly okay. But just running my fingers through his hair had reminded me that he had cancer and it was slowly (not even that slowly) eating him, his body. I shook my hand to get rid of the hairs, and JB coughed gently next to me. He had been looking at me for a while, examining my reaction to Jackson's hair coming off so easily.

”You should try and forget about it for a while”, he said as quietly as possible. Bambam was currently telling a funny story, so everyone else's attention was drawn to him.

”I am trying”, I whispered, glancing at the sleeping boy. ”It's just... impossible.”

”I know”, JB mumbled. Then his expression changed and he seemed to remember something. ”There's something I have to tell you.”

I looked at JB, trying to figure out what he had on his mind. It was impossible. His face was sealed, not giving any thoughts away. ”Then tell me.”

JB stood up and walked away from the livingroom, giving me a final short glance. Bambam looked at JB's back, until he disappeared into the kitchen. He shot me a questioning look.

”I'll go talk to him”, I said and stood up. Bambam nodded and continued his story.

JB was sitting on the kitchen counter, examining the lines on his palms. I sighed and walked up to him, placing my hands on his. ”What is it?”

JB bit his lip and his head sunk even lower. ”I know you probably don't want to talk with me-”

”I do actually”, I interrupted him with a shaky voice. ”You have been ignoring me.”

”For a reason”, JB said, lifting his glare from my hands that were resting on top of his. ”I've been an .”

I snorted. ”I think I've been a bigger , so...”

JB huffed through his nose. ”Can't argue with that”, he chuckled. Then his face darkened. ”Anyway, that night at Bambam's house... I was awful and I... I just want to thank you...”

”Thank me?” I asked suddenly taken aback.

”Yeah”, JB muttered. ”For talking to Jiho.”

I froze. Just hearing his name felt like someone had thrown a knife at my chest. My breaths became shaky and my throat felt dry. Until this moment I had been able to ignore the pain in my chest. The flame inside me had been ignited once again, thanks to JB.

”After that night, when they took Jackson to the hospital, we talked things through”, JB said quietly. ”He said that you had encouraged him to apologize.”

I swallowed a lump in my throat and nodded hastily. So Jiho had actually apologized JB? For what, beating him up once again?

”I... we sorted everything out and last week he asked me to go listen to some of his tracks. And I went and...”

”So are you” I swallowed again, trying to keep my cool. ”-are you two like, friends now?”

JB shrugged. ”I don't know. But Miranda, you have to know this...”

”I don't know if I want to-” I shook my head quickly.

”-he still loves you”, JB said without trying to sound careful with his words. He knew it hurt me, that's why he said it. ”And I know him. He's never been like this. It's like, his world was built around you and now that you're not together it's like he doesn't even know... he lives on a different planet now. And it makes it hard for people to confront him.