March,2010

First year of high school,Luna and i choose to make our dreams in this school.in Seoul.
The people of this school is really determined about their dream.Like me.

This morning,i met with a boy on the corridor.He bumped his shoulder to Luna.When i see him,i remember about my self.
His face is full of tiredness,like mine.He must be a trainee too.
And this afternoon,i met him again.He's really a trainee at SM.His name is Sehun.he's so friendly to me.
we becoming close so quickly,and we practice together today.He's really have talent.I'm sure he'll be popular when debut.
I think i can be friends with him,because we share the same dream.

1 April,2010

Something happened.with my heart.

5 April 2010
This is becoming worse,i think i like Sehun.Even no i'm considering to throw away my dreams for him.
I want to go home,where there's no him.I'm afraid i can't contain my feeling.

6 April,2010
I decide to tell Luna about my feeling,she said i can't have this feeling.But what should i do.

8 April 2010
Yesterday was my first date with him.He looks really cool when he dance and he took care of me really well.
He told me about his hard life,yesterday.And i told him not to give up.and i think i shouldn't give up too.
This is my feelings not his,so i'll take care my own feeling and continue my dream.

This book is contain some of Suzy and Sehun's story that i didn't know before.
About suzy came to Sehun's house,their date on amusement park.Photos of them that taken at school,at dance studio,at a cafe.

Sehun is hurt today after defending me,i was doing  my action without thinking.And he's hurt because of me.He's bleeding everywhere.He can't even walk properly.
I was afraid something bad will happened to him.But i'm glad that he's fine,he's really brave,Sehun.
If something bad happene to him again because of me.I'll really angry and piss at myself.

I keep reading all the pages.instead of diary book,i feel like i'm reading a story about them,not a love story because i know this story still not have a happy ending.
This is just a story about love.About my best friends who deeply in love with each other at such an early age,but..This is it, the last page of the book.

I'll be debuting soon,so i told him about it.My purpose for telling him that because i want to know about what he feels about me,even after i have my dream realized.
If he just said that he loves me too.I'll come to him surely,i think i can let go this dream,my hardwork.
i don't know maybe i was stupid or I was blind by his kindness,sweetness,his love.But i think that i still have him to chase our dream,i'll just support him and do nothing about this idol thing.
But he said nothing to me,he congratulate me and that is.
I feel that our times that we spend together means nothing.
I feel sad, but i choose to continuing my dream.

I read that last page with a heavy feeling,because i know this is not the truth.Suzy is having a wrong mindset.
My heart feel more hurt,when i saw that last page is ruined,the writing is hardly to read because it come together with Suzy's tears.
I close that book,and my mind is completely scattered.
Suzy must be really love Sehun.How is she feeling when Sehun told her that he loved her.
Why she just come to him and have a happy lovelife?