SEHUN

“You still love Taeyeon? it’s fine because it’s fair then. I still love Luhan anyways”

Jessica’s words didn’t sink in to me right away. I was frozen to where I stood. I was immobilized and I didn’t know how to respond.

Her words were like daggers that pierced my chest. I know that I can never replace Luhan in her heart. But, hearing it, hearing that she still loves Luhan from her very own lips still hurts me so much.

I was only brought back to reverie when I heard the front door slam.

“” I muttered under my breath. I sprinted out of the house and saw that her car has already pulled out of the drive way. I ran to stop her car before it can completely leave. I stood by the drive way with my arms spread.

No, I just can’t let her leave without her knowing the truth. I need her to listen to me.

She honked at me and yelled “GET THE OUT OF THE WAY SEHUN!” Her eyes were full of tears and it showed how hurt she was.

. I made her cry.

“Soo Yeon, honey, please listen to me” I begged her still blocking her car with my body.

She honked once more and even moved her car forward but I stood my ground.

“GET OUT, SEHUN! GET OUT!”

“NO! LISTEN TO ME HONEY. Please” I initially raised my voice but I toned it down as I begged her please. Tears continued to roll down her cheeks as she continually shook her head muttering, “no, no, no, no, get out, get out”

Her hands were no longer holding the stirring wheel of the car because she covered her ears with it so I took that chance to go over her car door and open it.

“Soo Yeon, listen to me please” I begged removing her hands that were covering her ears. “No, I don’t want to listen to you! Let me leave you ” she yelled.

“Please listen to me, honey” I pleaded and turned off her car’s engine. She tried to stop me from turning the engine off, “what are you doing?! Let me leave! I don’t want to listen to you!”

“No!” I yelled startling her. She stopped struggling and looked at me with angry eyes. I held her hands together and pleaded, “Soo Yeon, you’re in no condition to drive”

“So what?!”

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I can drive you home if you want but please listen to me first. Allow me to explain, please. Don’t go without listening to my explanation. And don’t drive crying please, don’t endanger your life. I promise, I’ll drive you home. Just listen to me”

“I’ll answer whatever question that you have to ask of me with all honesty. Just please don’t go like this Soo Yeon, please” I bargained

Her eyes were boring holes on me. However I’d rather have her anger than lose her. But, I’ve already lost someone that I love once before because I was a coward and I don’t want the same thing to happen. I don’t want to lose the person that I love. I don’t want to lose Jessica just because of the past that doesn’t even matter anymore. So, by all means, I want to keep her. I want to have her by my side.

I wiped her tears and confessed “I love you” looking into her eyes. I noticed the slight dilation of her pupils and how her breath hitched. I held her hand and told her once more, “I love you Jung Soo Yeon”

“But you love Taeyeon more than you lo-” she was concluding with conviction but I cut her off by sealing her lips with mine.

For almost four days, I haven’t kissed these lips. Maybe it’s because I miss her that this kiss seemed to have more emotion. Or maybe it’s because the tears were spilled before this kiss happened. Or maybe because this kiss is my way to tell her I love her so much.

My hand held her neck while the other was on the back of her head.

“I love you, Jung Soo Yeon”

Her eyes were closed as she exhaled deeply calming herself down and then she wiped her tears.

“Sehun, right now I don’t want to listen to you” she started and I wouldn’t deny that I felt hurt when I received that as a reply to my confession.

I remained silent so she continued, “Right now, I am angry. And everything that you will say to me will all seem bull to me, I won’t believe you and you’ll just get in my nerves… And to be honest, right now I am resenting Taeyeon and I don’t want that because she is my best friend… So, please just let me be alone for now. Please?” her voice was cracking when she pleaded for me to let her go. The pauses she made helped stop her tears from finally roll down.

“Please?” her voice was shaky when she let her plea out. And I couldn’t afford to resist her plea.

“Ok, I’ll let you go for now Soo Yeon ah. For now. I am letting you go but I am not giving up on you, not even in the slightest bit am I thinking of giving up on us. So, I’ll say this one more time, even if you’ll think it’s just bull. I love you Soo Yeon. I love you so much” I conceded. I stepped away and said, “drive safely and please inform me when you get home”

I earned a nod and so I closed her car door then she drove away.

I went back to my house and tidied up. I picked up the scattered pieces of paper. As I cleaned up, I saw the draft of the design for our bedroom. There was no doubt that she really is an artist. So, with the initial delivery made, I arranged the furniture following her design.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I checked

From: Jung Soo Yeon

Msg: I’ve arrived home

-end of text-

I heaved a sigh of relief, finding out that she got home safely. I was about to type my reply when another message from her came.

Please don’t try to contact me. I want to stay away from you for now. I don’t hate you.  I just want to sort things out on my own. And maybe you can do the same. Let’s take some time off. I want to be alone and be able to think clearly.

“Are you breaking up with me?” was all I could mutter. I wanted to call her and ask her that but I don’t want her to hate me.

And most of all, I don’t want us to break up.

Not like this.

Not ever.

So, I decided to follow what she wants. I didn’t text her, I didn’t call her. I was alone that whole night in my home. That night, alcohol was my only companion. I didn’t call on Kris or Chanyeol. I didn’t want to bother them, plus I don’t think I can ever open this up with Chanyeol.

The following morning, I felt like . My vacation’s already over and I have to get back to work but my head is throbbing like hell. I am in no condition to work. .

But even if I felt like dying due to my hang over, I still got up fixed myself and be who I ought to be. My father will kill me when he sees me like this.

“Chief Oh, are you alright? You don’t seem well” the chief nurse asked me as I stood before the nurse’s desk asking for my patients’ medical charts. “I’m fine, just having a little headache. You don’t need to worry about me, Ms. Song” I answered smiling at her before concentrating on the charts.

“And I thought I’d see you all brightened up today. What happened? Why do you seem so gloomy?” Yura asked as she stood beside me receiving her patients’ medical charts. I glanced at her momentarily then went back to checking the reports made by the interns.

I gave the nurse some instructions and told her to call up my interns. I turned around and was about to walk away when Yura stopped me, “Sehun, I’m talking to you”

Despite Yura’s attempt to stop me, I continued to walk off after prying my wrist from her grasp. Yura hurriedly gave her instructions to Nurse Song and followed me with quick steps. “Yah, Oh Sehun I was talking to you”

“She’s asking for a time off” I answered exasperatedly.

“What? You two are breaking up?”

“NO! We’re not!”

I saw how everyone was startled with how I answered Yura’s question. I also saw the horror reflected on Yura’s face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice on you Yur” I immediately apologized after realizing what I just did.

Yura nodded her head and patted my shoulder, “it’s fine, I understand. You don’t need to apologize”

We both continued to walk in silence until she voiced out her sentiments, “I’m glad to hear that the two of you aren’t breaking up. And since she want some time off, just give her that time, okay?”

“What’s so wrong about me loving her friend before her? Isn’t it more important to know that she’s the one I love right now? The present is more important than the past. Why is she giving so much fuss about it? It’s all in the past”

“Maybe because we, women are pretty much the insecure and jealous type of human beings. We don’t like sharing and knowing that you loved her friend, I think it feels like she’s sharing you with her. Or so I think” she explained.

“But i