76) 'Unusual love'

- written by Guardian of Love and HunNoo_« -

                                                                                  Thank you so much Noo, for believing in me! I am grateful to life for letting me meet someone like you!

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Time passing so slowly, as if the night wouldn’t want to fade again… let all be embraced by a mysterious darkness, folding everything in silence.. slender branches moving in slow motion… drunk soul resting on a piece of a silky illusion…

Thoughts walking towards me like dying warriors, bringing sorrow, despair, craziness.. I receive them with weak arms, letting them stab me… Why should I react, since all this time there was just a poisoned path to follow?

I feel the cold water getting through my skin, sinking my will.. I let myself go towards the embrace of whatever might wait for me.. then.. there is this one thought, still holding the sword.. fighting with eager.. gets to me.. holds me in place..

When did all began, I can’t  tell.. but it went on and on.. I kept doing it.. and now it comes back to me.. not as it happened.. it’s now broken.. here is one piece.. the night when he asked me how was I feeling.. The first time, since we first talked, I sensed  that the question had a hidden intention even if it was resting on a white screen..

Me: “I feel good, why?”

Him: “Just a question… I like to know how people feel.. you know..I can feel people.. think that's my gift..”

Me: “And how do I feel.. according to you?”

Him: “ I think you feel good in general, not because you said so, but because of how you act.. Of course, I can only describe how you are on your online life.. cause in real life I don't know you.. but to me you are a person with this special thing that just not everybody has.. you put everything you feel into your stories and when everything comes together you are proud of it.. you are proud of yourself and maybe you don't show it too much in public but you know you are… and there's nothing wrong with, you are a person with selfrespect and a person who fights for herself.. a tough girl with this nice sense of humor… you make people laugh and feel comfortable with you… so yeah, based on how you are online.. you are a happy person.. please tell me if I'm wrong..”

Me: “This is perfectly right.. for the online girl that writes stories on this page… is totally the opposite for the real me though..”

Him: “Tell me about the real you, please..”

Me: “ Um... I guess the best way to describe myself is this: everytime the day meets the night.. there is this strange feeling of peace.. something so unreal that you wonder whether is a dream or not.. a lot of thoughts in your mind.. you see yourself there .. on a shiny shell.. being the change this world needs.. then.. you're brought to reality.. abruptly.. you realise you could never be a change.. since you've not even given a meaning to your life.. you just live for the sake of it.. every moment.. and you continue to back off.. even if sometimes your heart crawls in the night.. begging for release.. poor thing.. the moan fades in the thick fog.. like it never existed..”

Him: “You know that dreaming actually is living? I know it sounds strange but it is.. we all say we 'dream' about this or that but that's not what dreaming is all about.. dreaming is about what you're doing in thoughts, in tales of night… and you know.. you are a change, I am a change and everyone can be a change if they want to be one! It feels like we've got no meaning to our lives… like you said.. and I'm not saying it isn't true cause I know what 'not meaningful' to someone is, but you can't let that come to your mind.. you did existed, in fact you always do, but in dreams.. you should let yourself pass the thin curtain of a fantasy.. you will realise that you are the same in real life as well..”

Me: “I sometimes wonder if you’re real.. why did you come into my life? Why do I feel so connected to whatever you write? Why.. why Kris??”

Kris: “There is something there that holds the strings of souls.. playing carelessly with them.. somehow.. it managed to entangle ours..”

Me: “You know.. I should use this for a story..”

Kris: “On one condition.. put in everything that goes through your mind, every detail and use the sentences and words that we used in our conversation, cause that's what this was.. a story.. ment to be written by this angel with the ability to bind 2 powers to create a masterpiece.. the power of mind.. and the power of feelings..”

Me: “What do you mean by the 2 powers?”

Kris: “When you feel touched about something… you use the feelings to connect with your mind.. and the latter will amazingly fit all those feelings into the right words..”

Me: “And the angel?”

Kris: “That’s you.. fitting it all together with your gift of writing… with your ability to let the words fall into a story..”

The darkness swallowed this piece of memory, finding me in the same place.. What was it trying to show to me? Why would it bother me just now?

I couldn’t get a response.. because of the cold water that is freezing my body slowly… or because of another thin memory that made me feel its presence? This one was so fresh.. still hot.. like the bread you just took out from the oven..

Kris: “You’re so silent today.. this absence brings worriness in heart… thoughts in mind..”

Me: “Tell me Kris.. what is love??”

Kris: “Why this question.. all of a sudden??”

Me: “Describe love to me.. like you feel it.. what will you say to that special someone in your life, if she would ask you this?”

Kris: “Um.. I’d say that love is an incredibly powerful word. When you're in love, you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together.. because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete. Love can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Love is intense, and passionate. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful when you're in love. Love feels warm, good. If you find it, don't let it go. Don’t let me go..”

Me: “But what if the love was poisoned since it first saw the dawn?”

Kris: “That is not love.. is an illusion.. real love is just hidden in a dark corner.. waiting for the right moment to come out..”

Me: “You know, Kris.. love sometimes can be so strange.. it should feed your soul with hope.. yet.. it destroys your heart with fake hopes.. hm.. if there could be a river to sink this love forever.. like the one in the park.. ah… the park.. hm.. we both know every little part of it.. yet.. in our wanderings.. our eyes never met.. We kept talking all this time having a lifeless white screen between us..”

Kris: “When did we try to let life bring us together??”

Me: “Together… hm.. another blurry conviction that fools lovers.. everything in this world starts and ends with a lonely soul… and a time comes when a soul gets tired.. needs to rest.. take care, Kris..”

The shiny white screen fades slowly along with the memory.. the warrior drops the sword.. the struggle was in vain.. the mind is blank now.. no outburst.. nothing else to happen.. the water heals body and soul… a peaceful smile appears on my face.. I close my eyes… I let myself go..

And now is that moment when destiny shows me once again that I have no power over it.. a new hope comes to me, laying on two strong hands that pull me desperately, yet gently.. I try to pay attention at the voice.. I feel lost..

“WAKE UP!!!!”

The moonlight touches my face, making me realise I am still here, trembling in his arms.. I now look for those eyes that were only inside my mind.. I find them.. cold.. clear.. yet warming me with the love I see reflected in them..

Me: “Kris?”

Kris: “I thought it will be too late..”

Me: “Why did you..”

Kris: “Don’t talk.. God.. losing you would have been the end of everything..”

Heart sometimes surprises me with its mysterious way of nurturing feelings.. Just when I thought there was nothing there inside to keep me going.. this happens.. Like the pinkish clouds on a sleepy sky, the hope flew into my life caring the key to unlock a love that waited patiently..

When Kris came into my life, I first didn't know what I felt. It was a bit unnatural, especially since we’ve never seen each other, nor talked.. The only way of connecting was through the white screen and the keyboard..  

However that didn’t stop destiny to continue its play.. and slowly, love was born… love made him read between the lines.. love helped him realise what my intention was.. love led him to me.. love made him my rescuer..

Now love guided my hand when writing this story... It was indeed not the usual plot people would feel connected to.. this was about another kind of love.. one that didn’t need the physical encounter of souls to blossom.. one that grew up silently, without any rush..
 

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Hope you liked it! Thank you for reading! Please continue to love and support EXO! God bless you all!