73) 'A song of love'

The washy peach danced slowly to the cold bluish colour the sky was painted in, fading away as smoke, until eyes couldn’t distinguish anymore where the line was once drawn..

The blue hour has past, yet the invisible coat that covers the tiny sparkles hasn’t fallen yet.. only one piece of diamond shines up, alone in a fake sea, darkening more and more with every second that passes…

The wind died long ago, leaving the leaflees trees stand like dreams painted on a soul. A weakened grey warrior drags away his fluffy army, heading to the east.. Two little creatures give this whole painting a touch of life, chasing each other in the air.. The vibrating wings leave behind a silent feeling of peace..

A lonely queen bows shyly, greeting her king once again, before taking the throne.. Another encounter that finds them so close, yet so far for them to reach.. She waves then puts on its crown of light looking down on the earth, smiling gently..

I keep resting my eyes on every detail, eager to memorize this one last moment.. Few hours later, everything will be left behind.. A new journey will revive from the ashes of an unfinished story.. And now is the perfect time to search in the hidden treasure of your soul.. to take a look at what was written already in your book..

*

No matter how life will travel to that unknown destination many talk about, it will always have those halts that actually give it meaning.. One in particular can never be erased from a destiny, nor can be forgotten once the soul got there.. that special moment when I met him..

The sweetness of the violins and the sensuality born from the precise beating of the drums colour up the background, while the angelic voice fades away in the dark, warming our bodies.

Nothing more magical than this in the middle of the summer, from across a silent lake, always there every night to light up the soul and soothe the heart..

And as if the picture wasn’t complete, two sparkles keep shining towards me, getting deep inside my body, shaking it gently.. if there is a way to feel like dying even if nothing really happens, then it’s all because of such clear as crystal eyes..

Time drains slowly, as lips connect, searching for that pale desire floating all around, memorizing new yet so familiar scents, waking up feelings that were drown in numbness.. Seems like somewhere someone is drawing slowly the scene, knowing exactly that this had to happen..

I look at him, trying to understand why would a heart let itself lose control so easily, knowing that never before has met the other one.. Why sometimes two souls get together as if they didn’t actually drift apart, as if they only took two different paths that led to the same ending?…

He rests his wishes and sorrow on the embrace we both are lost in.. The music keeps adding a dizzy effect to the encounter, making us lose our last piece of conscience.. What are words good for now? Why should we ask ourselves what’s happening? We should just let it go..

*

You keep dreaming every night about those moments when that someone special will come into your life and you will slowly get to know him and paint a new universe for both of you.. But some people add colour even if there is no sketch yet.. So did I… yet.. there’s nothing to regret.. only the deception of a everlasting desire can actually darken the heart..

I thought forever can be the main theme of our story.. I was wrong.. Love blinded me.. I couldn’t realise how hard it will be for our universe to last, because of such divergences in our lives.. Or maybe.. I didn’t want to see.. I just kept on hoping.. dreaming.. living…

It’s a great battle when dealing with two souls that are completely different, but it’s a war to deal with the souls from outside the lovers’ universe.. And although we won the battle.. we lost the war.. He was what I needed.. yet.. I couldn’t feel him.. not anymore..

At first.. I didn’t let the idea of a love story to distract me.. what happened in the park was just a moment of obtuseness,  when a weak heart tried to figure out if the beat of desire was still heard… I maybe wanted to prove to myself that you can also choose the love.. No… never.. you will always be the chess piece and love will be the player…

I had to admit the defeat.. I knew I had this feeling.. maybe he knew also.. if not.. then destiny helped him realise, throwing him in my way every day since that park adventure.. So.. he accepted the challenge of life.. We got to learn about each other more and more, until we could have said to anyone at anytime, that we were soul mates..

He wasn’t exactly how the little girl once portrayed him when drawing on the fluffly white clouds on a sunny day.. He was more than I deserved.. and that made me realise how much I’ve changed myself all this time, trying to repay life for its kindness..

We kept on dreaming, filling our hearts with hope and joy.. We were living our own love story, more beautiful than any written on yellow leaves flying to their shrines.. In the end.. we had to wake up.. My thoughts were finally clear, thanks to that one meeting.. I recall even now the bitterness in her voice, while she kept begging me to get away..

Me: “I know we’re different.. and I respect everything you said.. but.. now.. it’s not about me or him.. now all gets to one point.. us..”

Woman: “You can change that.. if you really love him.. I can’t stand to see my son arguing like that with his father.. Baekhyun doesn’t deserve all this.. Please.. I am asking you.. as a mother.. leave my son.. you two will never be able to maintain this dream strong.. You’re from a totally different word.. You identify yourself with a culture, he embraces another.. ”

Me: “That was one thing we never thought about.. I know I am not Korean.. yet..”

Woman: “And there are more arguments to add… ever since I met you.. I knew how kind and unique you are.. I am sure you will take the best decision.. let him live his dream.. let him focus on his career.. his destiny hasn’t got place for you.. please.. ”

Me: “I will never be the hand that will pluck the flower.. rest assured that I will do everything I can so that Baekhyun’s bond with his father will remain strong..”

I reached for her hand, caressing it gently.. I knew.. I always knew that the end was imminent… I just didn’t want to listen to my mind, since the melody of my heart had more suaveness.. But now.. the time was perfect.. this had to be my defeat.. I had to step aside..

*

When memories capture your mind, time slowly flies away, without warning you.. I could have stayed like that even more, but the cold wind brought me back to reality.. I got up and took another look at the orchestra.. last time I would hear that tune.. last night spent in this magical place..

I had to get back to the apartment and get ready for my departure next day.. I waved to the musicians, forcing a smiling.. The response hurt me in the inside, as they started playing that song that once brought me in his arms..
 
Just like that night, my senses lost control, when the fresh scent of his skin reached me.. I turned around and saw him resting his hand on the thick trunk of a tilia, waiting for his breath to get to its normal pace..

Baekhyun: “Remember this song?”

Me: “Why are you here?”

Baekhyun: “We need to end everything where it all started, no?”

I came near him and raised my hand to greet him one last time.. He took my hand and pulled me, hugging me tightly.. His tears went through my hair, down my neck, numbing my confidence.. I couldn’t resist anymore.. I cried also..

This was the moment when we realised our picture never had a sketch… only colour.. thrown on the canvas by a lubber painter.. it was an unfinished piece of art.. still wet… yet expressing nothing more than chaos… the music died slowly by the strings of an old violin…

*

I kept walking beside him, keeping my head low, counting the marble tiles.. He didn’t say a single word since we’ve met and he didn’t give me a sign he’ll ever start a conversation.. We finally got where he wanted me to be.. I saw in the water the reflection of a silent joy the sun always felt when meeting its queen..

He rested his hands on his chest, looking to the purple horizon, while listening to the music.. My lips trembled, as my mind struggled to fight the curiosity that capture it.. Why would he ask me to come here? How come he was the one that wanted this meeting? What was there to discuss about?

Man: “The precise journey of this birds always fascinated me.. every day at the same time, in the same formation, heading to the same destination.. this is the exact precision that love uses to drive the souls.. and I know now that nothing and no one can distort the whole process that defines life..”

Me: “Yet there were attempts to prove the contrary..”

Man: “Indeed.. however.. there’s no chance of succeeding. And as all those that tried admitted their defeat.. I also do this now..”

I looked at him with questionable eyes.. He turned, took my hand and squeezed it gently, smiling.. I couldn’t read behind his stare.. I couldn’t understand the meaning behind his words.. And he probably noticed that…

Man: “I once told you that love is nothing more than an illusion capturing the mind and heart of a young soul, blinding it.. the reality that comes after makes the difference.. I now know that the illusion was actually what had to be real.. Love will never lose its power due to the pressure of the social factor.. instead the latter will take off its hat and greet love.. I tried to be against love.. I now bow in front of it.. This place is meaningful to you I guess… There is a saying.. the place where it started is the place where it will end.. I doubt that.. because nothing really ends.. everything goes on.. ”

He patted my head then turned around to get to his car, not before looking at me again and moving his eyes to a certain point behind my back.. I followed his stare, freezing at the sight of a silhouette getting a clearer shape while coming from the alley.. The bow met the violin, caressing out a slow tune..

The wind joined the music, making the passion blossom and reach the high limit.. I stood there, while he made his way towards me.. Our eyes finally met… The moon sunk in the cold water, leaving the sky resting on a blanket of sparkles.. My voice faded slowly, calling out his name: “Baekhyun!”

He got near, looking at my lips, leaning over, touching them gently with his long slender fingers.. The violin hit a high note as our breaths intertwined.. while the beat of the drum kept the desire alive, our lips met once again, recognising the never forgotten scents of our skins…

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