From Chen to Tao by grimchuckler

Reviewed by OutspokenGirl612

Title (3/5)
The title wasn’t really alluring, it could’ve been more creative; but the idea of using the idols’ names in it makes it enough for a reader to check it out.

Description and Foreword(8/10)
The description and foreword are perfect. They manage to catch the attention of the reader, giving a hint of what the story is about, but keeping it mysterious and not giving away anything important that could spoil the story. Good job. I would recommend though, putting more space between the foreword and the credits, since they can be distracting.

Plot and Originality(29/30)
I’ve read stories about madness before, but I must say you managed it pretty well. It keeps original, doesn’t overdo it to the point where it seems unreal and gives a realistic end. Very original, I haven’t seen any other story work with this theme the way you did it, congratulations.

Characterization(20/20)
Perfect characters. I love how Chen is consistent in his madness, and how the rest are portrayed as worried members. I really give out any advice on improvement here because your characters are great as they are.

Writing Style and Language(23/25)
Your style in writing is perfect, it catches the reader’s eye and holds it there. But, there were some tiny spelling and grammar mistakes, which I pointed out, although I saw in other of your reviews that some had been pointed out already, remember to fix them.
1. “My members from the group I’m in, Exo-M, the other four say that I’m crazy.” – You should add a comma after four, because the quantity of members in the group is extra information that your adding, which could be eliminated if you wanted. Because of that, you have to put that extra information between commas, like this: “My members from the group I’m in, Exo-M, the other four, say that I’m crazy.”
2. “So as his best friend, I have a responsibility to cheer him up.”- Again, a missing comma. After words like “so, thus, therefore…” you have to add a comma. It should be like this: “So, as his best friend, I have a responsibility to cheer him up.”
3. “You should stop being a member of EXO and come to join me!”- The “to” shouldn’t be there, it should be: “You should stop being a member of EXO and come join me!”
4. “Yes, I live with you”- I think you meant that he decided to live with Tao in the future, so you’re missing the “will” –“Yes, I’ll live with you”
5. “I’m writing this on a piece of paper and even though it’s not online, it will send it to you because you can read everything I write, can you?” – First, you put “it” where there should be an “I”; and, when you do a question to which you want an affirmation of what you just said you have to put the last part in negation, like this: “I’m writing this on a piece of paper and even though it’s not online, I will send it to you because you can read everything I read, can’t you?”
6. “Don’t worry, Chen, your hyung is here to protect me”- It should say “you”- “Don’t worry, Chen, your hyung is here to protect you”

Flow(10/10)
The flow is just perfect, since it’s a one shot, it has to go fast. I must say it was perfect; the reader can makeout conclusions while scrolling down.

Total (93/100)

Reviewers Note:  Congratulations, your story is amazing, I loved it. I hope to read more great stuff from you in the future. *Remember to correct the spelling and grammar mistakes!