Let’s Meet In Our Next Life by PastelClover
Review by coolgirlaamy

Title (2/5)
This title doesn’t exactly intrigue me into wanting to read the story. I mean, yes it is relevant to the story, but it’s too long and there isn’t exactly anything special about it. If the title was a flavour, it would just be quite bland. Basically, it feels as though it is missing something, I can’t exactly put my finger on what that is, but I feel like your story deserves a better title than this one. 

Another thing that I wasn’t exactly fond in the title was the fact that the title kind of gave away the story. The context of the words suggested the character death and I just feel like I already knew how the story would end just from reading the title. I would have liked to have seen a title that wouldn’t have given away the ending. Like I mentioned earlier, I think your story deserves a better title because it is quite a good story and I did enjoy reading it. 

Description and Foreword (3/10)
The description disappoints me. I seriously just don’t like it at all. A description is supposed to summarise the story in a few lines without giving too much away but I don’t feel like this description really accomplishes that. It just seems kind of tacky and badly written which initially put me off of wanting to read the story in the first place. 

“Why?

Are you curious?

Just read the story and you will found out.

Don't expect this story  to be a romance-comedy story.

It's not.”

What is the point in all of these questions? I can tell that you are trying to involve the reader and make them intrigued and interested but this doesn’t do that, not for me. I think the readers can already tell from the fact that she says she is depressed and the rest of the description suggests that she is despressed, that this story isn’t going to be a romantic comedy - there is no need for you to have to mention that to them - the readers aren’t stupid.

I also can’t see why she says her life is totally ruined by him because the end of the story doesn’t really suggest that her life has been ruined, just that she can’t stop thinking of him. Maybe I have missed something but honestly, I don’t see her life having been ruined by what happened to Myungsoo. 

The foreword is merely just an Author’s note so I can’t really judge you on that part, but honestly, I think that your story deserved a better description. I mean, you didn’t need the part that I quoted earlier - the description would have been better without it and I think as a whole, it could have been written much better than it was - yes, I can see that I may be a bit harsh here - but it doesn’t summarise the story in the way that I would have wanted you to. It just makes you seem like a less able writer which would put off people from reading you story. 

Maybe if it was written something like this, with some of the things that you have aleady mentioned in the descritpion, it would seem more appealing:

‘My life has been horrible for 4 years now. Just the thought of what had happened depresses me. It drives me crazy. It has totally ruined my life. My life has been totally ruined by him. 
By a guy who doesn’t even exist in this world anymore.”

Do you see what I’m getting at here? There isn’t a need for things that aren’t needed - descriptions are a lot better when they are just simply and when they don’t include irrelevant information. 

Plot and Originality (20/30)
Character deaths are seemingly quite common on this website, especially in stories/oneshots where one character dies and the other character is left to think about what has happened. I, myself, have even wrote a oneshot like that in the past - probably not my best work- but it just proves how common stories like this one is. However, there isn’t exactly much wrong with that since it depends on how well you managed to mold the story into becoming your own and in some ways, I think you managed to achieve this. 

In this story, you start off with the two main characters doing math problems together while showing that they have a good relationship with each other and there may be feelings flowing. We later find out that the two are actually in a relationship, but he starts disappearing and obviously, we both know how the story continues. I like how you decided to introduce us to the relationship between them and how it unfolds instead of directly going to a scenario where the character is just about to die or has already died. However, I would have liked to have see a bit more development into their relationship, the few scenes with the two of them together didn’t feel like they were enough for me to see how deep a relationship they had together. It felt like he died too suddenly without having seen how in love they were with each other. I didn’t feel like I got to see much of a love between them which is why I decided to dock a few marks. 

The plot almost seemed to a bit boring in some places too. It just didn’t seem to interest me so much in some places, like the times when they would be studying together, however, over all, I did manage to enjoy it and the tears did prick at the corners of my eyes at Myungsoo’s death. 

Oh yes, coming back to Myungsoo’s death, I feel like the story needed a bit more elaboration on what was actually happening to him. It just seemed a bit sudden for him to have this brain tumour - I know he started bleeding and quit dance classes quite a while before he died, but it still managed to feel a bit sudden. Don’t you think he should have been a lot more ill before he died? Or is that just me?

Characterisation (11/15)
As this is a one-shot, it is quite difficult for writers sometimes to create developed characters because they are basically writing short stories. I did feel like I got to know Hyeri, as she was the main character through the story and most of it was from her point of view but I don’t feel like I got to know Myungsoo all that much. Most of the time it just seemed like he was the perfect Prince Charming that every girl wanted to be with and admired - cliché much - but there really didn’t feel like there was anything else to him. Yes, there was a part where it was written in his POV, where he feels like a coward for not trying to get the surgery and not being able to tell her what was going on, but it still feels like there was something. Most of the time he just seemed like the perfect boyfriend - I would liked to have seen another side to him, maybe one where he wasn’t so perfect, where he could get mad at her, rather than just being Mr Nice Guy all the time - just a suggestion.

Writing Style and Language (17/25)
I like your writing style, most of the time. I feel like you manage to capture emotions quite well through the story and you know how to put things together to create quite good, well captured scenes. It does feel, however, like your writing style is still developing, it does take it’s time, but I can tell that you do have that potential to be a good writer - even if your descriptions !

As for the language, spelling was seemingly okay, I didn’t spot any mistakes so you have the all clear there. However, the grammar and word placement had a few issues.

1.‘“I wonder if he has a boyfriend already…” Jinhee girl wanders out loud while opening her door.’ - I assume that as girls they would be wondering if Myungsoo has a girlfriend already not a boyfriend. ‘“I wonder if he has a girlfriend already…” The Jinhee girl wonders out loud while opening her door.’ 

2.“If only Myungsoo knows how much the girls actually fancy over him…” - it should probably be, “If only Myungsoo knew how much the girls are actually crushing on him…” 

3.“He’ll get his head grow even bigger –that cheeky guy.” - this doesn’t make sense. “His head would grow even bigger –that cheeky guy.”

4."Aren’t you going to perform?" I ask with a bit not-so-nice tone.” This doesn’t really make sense either. "Aren’t you going to perform?" I ask in a harsh tone.”

Flow (10/10)
The flow seemed perfectly fine throughout the story, I didn’t seem to have any major issues with it so congratulations for that.

Total (63/100)
Sorry for being a bit harsh at the start there, I just really needed to get those things out of my system. I am also very sorry for the fact that it has taken me so long to get round to doing this review however I hope that the review itself makes up for my lateness.