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Meant to Be by Katakatica
Review by coolgirlaamy
Title (2.5/5)
Honestly, I didn’t like the title. I didn’t think it was very interesting or special. The only thing that you have going for you with this title is that it is actually relevant to your plot. It doesn’t really stand out from the crowd - I wouldn’t really bother clicking on it I was going through a list of story titles. It seems like its lacking something - its lacking in flavour. It just seems quite boring.
I reviewed one of your other stories and I loved the title for that because it had quite a meaning to it but this one doesn’t make me feel the same way which is a shame because your writing is so beautiful. I just think that you could come up with a better story title that would be relevant and more interesting and special.
Description and Foreword (8/10)
In terms of your description, I think it is quite successful in managing to achieve your reader’s attention. It draws the reader in because it makes them question it, since you are directly referring to them through the description. I read it and wanted to go to the next chapter. It is also quite interesting in the way that it summarises what the story is about without it being too obvious. Some writers will tell you directly what is going to happen but you didn’t do that and I’m glad.
However, for some reason, I feel like you could have done it differently, better. It is quite stylishly written but somehow, I feel like there is something missing. Just like how I felt with the title. I’m kind of expecting a bit more. Yes, I wanted to read your story, but I felt like I was getting a little bored which is why I docked a few points.
As for the foreword, I like how you have given some background into this choosing ceremony, like how you have chosen to tell us how this event happens and how you will end up meeting your soul-mate. I definitely found it a lot better than your description. I like how you have mentioned these fairies and how they get involved. It seems really interesting and when I read it, I was quite curious to see how you would incorporate the different factors of how these fairies get involved and how the ceremonies would occur.
Plot and Originality (20/30)
I’ve seen stories about choosing ceremonies and fated love etc. before but I do think that this does distinguish from the rest of them. I mean, there are some factors that are quite similar but you have managed to make this your own plot, as far as I am aware. The story itself does stand out from the crowd of generic stories that continues to grow on this website. It’s a nice change to get away from that sometimes and find different stories, like this one. When I read the foreword, like I have probably already mentioned, I was quite interested and excited to go and read this. Thanks for writing something different.
When I first came across it in the comments section, I was expecting a dystopian type fanfic, which I’m quite into at the moment. Your story didn’t really turn out like I expected it to. Yes, it is different, but not in the way I was expecting and wanting it to. The plot of your story is fine and I am kind of enjoying, I just thought that you would have taken it down a different route. I thought you were going to delve into different topics and areas but you took it down a different road than I thought you would. I’ll dicuss more what I mean by this.
Your story goes through Maya’s pre choosing ceremony worries. She goes into the waiting hall and her name gets called. She meets Luhan and it’s like a happily ever after. I’m going to talk about the flow of all of this later but I’m going to tell you now that this happened way too fast. I was expecting her to go in and her name isn’t going to be called but she meets him some other way or she is put with someone else and then finds Luhan. I didn’t expect that everything was going to be so easy for Maya. I mean, she went in and came out with this guy who has now became the love of her life. I wonder what your planning to do with this because I don’t think at the moment, it’s very interesting. It just seems like they’re going to have a happily ever after with no worries at all and I’m a little disappointed.
Characterisation (12/20)
I’m going to assume that Maya is your main character so I will probably write more about her. Maya does seem like quite a real person - she has traits of real people, she acts how people would normally act so she does quite real to me and I do feel like sometimes I am able to relate to her. Like in the situation where she met Luhan’s mother and she was quite nervous - I feel like I do the same sometimes where I meet people that I want to make a good impression towards and get worried about what they would actually think. I don’t really understand why she would have felt quite insecure though, like when she was waiting in the room and her mother came in and she didn’t feel like she was beautiful compared to the others. Then, Luhan meets her and think she’s gorgeous. I don’t really think that she would have to be insecure about anything if Luhan thinks she’s beautiful.
Now, on to Luhan. I think I have found a similar character in another story that I had to review. He is a ‘prince charming’ like character. He is perfect. He is so sweet to this girl that he has just met, he falls in love with her almost instantaneously, he hugs her and makes her feel comfortable, gives her kisses. It almost makes me feel sick from the overload of sweet love (maybe I’m just being jealous). I just want to see him not being so sweet and kind all the time. I want to see him crack and suddenly change or something. I want to see him be angry. Please make Luhan seem more real because no guy in the world acts like that. (sigh)
Writing Style and Language (30/30)
I love your writing style. You are able to capture emotion and your different scenes very well which makes me feel like I can see everything occurring before me. When you put it in the perspective of Maya, I feel like I’m her and I can see what is happening around me. I definitely think that your writing has improved since I reviewed your other story and it shows that you are very capable of writing amazing stories so good job. I wasn’t a huge fan of the plot but I loved your writing.
As for the language, grammar and spelling were fine. There was the occasional error which just seemed like a typo so I don’t really feel that I have to make a big deal out of it and point them out to you. Once again, I am going to say that you have improved and you seem like a native English speaker now from your writing. Well done and keep it up.
Flow (4.5/10)
This could be the reason why I wasn’t a huge fan of the plot. Everything happened way too fast. I mean, in the period of one chapter (correct me if I‘m wrong), she is getting ready to see if she will meet her soul-mate, she goes to the hall with the other girls, her name gets called out and she meets Luhan. That all happened way too fast. I would have wanted to see more of how she feels during that time before, her anxiety etc. I feel like you just rushed through it. I don’t like how they managed to fall in love so quickly either. I mean, she just meets him and in like one day, they are already kissing and telling each other that they love each other. Do you see what I’m getting at here?
Total (77/100)
I'm so sorry that this took so long and if I was a bit harsh.
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