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Humanity’s Code by flamzfox
Review by coolgirlaamy
Title(5/5)
I love the title. It’s relevant and it’s short and simple yet quite descriptive at the same time. I mean, when I first looked at it, I could tell that there was some kind of meaning to it, like it actually means something rather than just being a title for a story. It’s like the title in itself kind of tells you about the story. You captured my attention from the title and when I saw the review request, there was something about the title that was telling me that it was going to be a really good story and I was going to enjoy it so you get full marks here.
Description and Foreword (10/10)
Great description. It had the right amount of detail in it to let me know what this story was going to be about, let me know about the characters but it didn’t give too much information that I knew what this whole story was going to be about. So, yes, there was enough information to capture my attention and make me keep reading so good job. I also liked the kind of detail you put in it and the way you went about writing the description. It was written very stylishly, it wasn’t just bland and boring, and I just really liked it. I guess this is the way that I want to write my descriptions too but I can never do it well enough.
That one line at the end, ‘Kris had programmed life itself’ managed to have quite a lot of impact on it’s own and somehow I found myself imagining it being said by that guy who narrated the start of the ‘MAMA’ music video and it just seemed so amazing.
Now, onto the foreword, I love love love it when people use excerpts from the story. I don’t really know or understand why that is the case but in my opinion, it’s the best way to capture your reader’s attention, other than writing a prologue and putting it in the foreword. I also really like how the foreword links with the description itself and the line, ‘Kris had programmed life itself.’ I think it fits in really well like that so I definitely think you picked the best excerpt. I also like how it reveals the right about of information about the story without telling us everything. I think you have been really successful with the description and foreword so good job.
Plot and Originality (30/30)
In terms of the originality, it isn’t completely original but it is close to being so. It’s similar in some ways to the dystopian theme which is becoming quite popular nowadays and to the Hunger Games, with the ‘Fatal Bet’ idea. However, it does stand out from the rest of that and it’s difficult to make something completely original so I’m still going to give you full marks for originality. I don’t think I have ever read anything remotely similar to this and I don’t understand how someone could have come up with all of this. It’s just amazing to think that someone put in so much though to develop a plot like this and I’m quite speechless.
As for the plot, I’m in love with it. I just- I can’t put into words how much I am in love with this plot and I’m quite amazed by it, as I’ve already mentioned, and I don’t think I have ever enjoyed a plot like this so much before. From the creation of Yixing, the growing love, the bet and the giving up of his life to protect his loved ones in the end, I loved every part of this. At one point, I was hoping that it could have never ended, that things could keep going on, that Yixing would have the chance to live once again. But, I suppose, everything has to come to an end.
Characterisation (20/20)
These were perfect characters. There isn’t any way that I can mark you down in this section because then it would be unfair and I would be stealing marks from you for no reason. They were realistic, life-like, with their own individual traits and you kind of got the chance to know them and see them develop through the story. I mean, I hated Kris at the start, well, not exactly hated but you know what I mean - he just seemed so evil and cruel, only wanting to save himself from death without caring about anyone else. Yet as the story progressed, we saw a softer side to him come out, we got to see him fall in love and he was almost willing to give up his life for Yixing and Suho to be together. I also had similar feelings towards Suho, thinking that he was so evil and mean for letting Yixing die like that but then we realize that he actually didn’t know about Yixing’s situation and he did love him. Then, he was also willing to forfeit for Yixing’s sake, so Yixing could be with Kris. So yes, I really love your characters.
Writing Style and Language (25/25)
I can’t mark you down here either. I love your writing style and I’m sure that I have mentioned that to you in your last review. You manage to capture so much emotion and the different scenes quite well, without over-describing them, and I just love that about your writing. I also like how you have a good collection of vocabulary and you find a good balance when you’re writing between the dialogue and the description. I don’t really know what else to say here so good job.
As for the language, there weren’t any issues with it. It’s good to see that you have taken what I said onboard last time and improved your grammar. Honestly, I didn’t pick up on any grammar mistakes or anything so you get full marks in this section. Well done.
Flow (10/10)
The story flowed perfectly. It was neither too slow nor too fast and I think that everything in the story happened at quite a good pace. I maybe would have liked to see a little more development in the romance between Kris and Yixing but honestly, the flow was perfect.
Total (100/100)
Well done! You’re on our featured list. I loved the story and you definitely deserve this score. You are one of those writers that I would hope to get featured in the future because you definitely deserve with plot lines like these and the vast imagination that you have. I honestly can’t wait to read more of your writing so don’t hesitate to come back for another review. Thanks for requesting.
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