s/n as you all know Dani's korean name is PARK BORAM so if the name appears don't get confused! Also the 4 chinese members are in china!

'Kai .... Lay...' he whispers. I don't understand what he means.

'Baby...pls...did something happen' I beg him to answer. He cries even harder. I can't see him like that. He seems so in...pain and...ugh

I take one of his hands and help him to sit up, but he lets himself fall onto me, crying and sobbing into my chest.

'Baby...please...please..calm down..tell me what happened'

'...dead....' is all I can hear 

'What's dad? Who's dad?' I start to get extremly worried. What if something with his parents happened..but then again...lay and kai?

He looks up to me, wipes one tear away and exhales deeply.

'Kai is dead!' he yells and cries even harder. I stop breathing immedially as he cries into my shoulder, squeezing my hand hard.

'what...baby..no..kai's not dead..kai can't be dead...don't say such things' I start to cry.

'Don't say such things!' I yell as I jump off the bed, crying now even harder. Kyungsoo never cries but when he does then these are real tears, tears of either pain or sadness. His tears aren't fake....WHY ARE YOU TEARS NOT FAKE

'He's DEAD!' Kyungsoo yells again and slams himself onto the bed. He screams into the pillow and I run to our phone.

I quickly press the numbers of Suho's phonenumber, nobody picks up. Chanyeol - nobody. Kris - Nobody. I try all the others - not a single one. I start to panic. I press Kai's number.

Beep

beep

beep

This number is not avaiable anymore.

I throw the phone into the next corner and sink down on the wall.

I cry hard.

Slam my fists on the floor. Shake my head. Do other things, until I stand up again and run to my own mobile.

It's loading on the dock cable. I skip through my contacts and press kai's second number he once gave me.

beep

beep

beep

This is the phone of Kim Jongin please leave a lovely message bubaaai.

'nonoonoONONOOON' I yell and beg and cry

I run back into the bedroom where Kyungsoo is sitting, trying to call people with his mobile as well. He seemed to stop crying, suddenly jumps up and grabs my wrist.

'Hospital. Now' he says and drags me to the car.

He pushes me roughly into the car totally forgetting that I'm pregnant. Luckily I don't get hurt.

He drives and drives with a really serious expression. His eyes totally focued on the streets and not on the speed display which is slowly growing. The car gets faster and faster.

'Kyungsoo...slowler...' I sob.

He doesn't answer and keeps driving the huge car.

'Baby...please...' I beg him

His facial expression reliefs and he slowly steps on the brake.

He quickly parks the car in front of the hospital, not caring if he is even allowed to stand there. He runs outside and runs inside the building, leaving me behind. I run after him, but I have to stop several times, thinking about the small body growing inside of me. 

From afar I can see the other boys all standing in the corridor. Some in front of a window, other in front of a door, others sitting on the floor or on the chairs made for visitors. I slowly approach them. Chanyeol stands immedially up and embraces me into a hug, he starts crying. Others are crying too. I start panicking as I only count 7 members. I push Chanyeol away. walk past all of them, count them again.

'Where is Kai' I ask in a low tone.

They start to cry.

'Where is KAI?' I say now louder.

Nobody answers.

I want to start to cry but the opening door behind me interrupts me. A team steps out: 2 doctors, 2 rescue men and 3 nurses. One of the doctors nods towards Suho and Suho walks slowly up to him. They talk and the doctore leads him inside the room.

I turn to the others.

'Please...somebody...what...happened' I beg and sob.

Nobody answers.

'Where is Kai?' I ask again.

'Where is HE? WHERE IS KAI' I start to freak out and scream and cry. Chanyeol jumps up from the floor. He looks at Kyungsoo, who is sitting lifeless on the floor. He looks up and nods.

'dani..Dani' Chanyeol sobs and stutter, his voice is almost  gone. 

'Come we go'

'Where is Kai' I scream again as Chanyeol drags me outside.

'Is Kai inside this room?! WHERE IS KAI' I scream through the hospital.

As Chanyeol drags me away I can see that because of my screams and cries the members started to cry again, just Kyungsoo...he's just sitting there. Lifeless. Blank face, fair skin, no emotions. He seems so....dead...

Chanyeol drags me on one of the hospital visitor balconies. It's already past 10pm and so it is really dark.

'Where is Kai...' I repeat and repeat.

'KAI IS DEAD OK' Chanyeol yells.

'NO HE IS NOT. HE IS IN THIS ROOM!' I yell not believing him at all.

Chanyeol places both hands on my shoulders, sobs, tries to avoid my eyes, exhales and looks deeply in my eyes.

'You..have to understand... that he is dead..' he says as tears stream down his face.

'no...no..he is not..he is here..probably in the cafeter-'

'He is dead! DEAD DO YOU HEAR ME BORAM DEAD'

'NO HE IS-'

Chanyeol slaps me

I stop crying immedially, turn my face slowly.

'He is dead...?' I silently ask

Chanyeol just nods and walks to the balcony fence, leaving me back. I'm standing there. Lifeless. No emotions. Nothing. Until Chanyeol screams, shocking me.

I turn around and shake my head as Chanyeol turns around.

'No...no...non...nonon...don't say such...no' I keep shaking my head.

Chanyeol grabs the back of my head and presses me into his chest, embracing me in a hug. I cry and so he does.

Suddenly the door behind me opens, Baekhyun steps in.

'Boram...Suho asks for you' he says so loud that we can hear it but from his voice I can tell how hard it was to say anything at all.

Chanyeol grabs my hand and we walk together back into the hospital, following Baekhyun to the corridor where the other members are. Kyungsoo's position didn't change at all, as well as the others. The doctor from earlier is waiting in front of the door. 

'Please' he says and opens the door for me.

I cover my mouth as I step inside.

Beep-sounds everywhere. Machines, oxygen tanks, blood, a nurse is cleaning the mess, Suho sitting next to the bed and on the bed....

Yixing.

I start to cry again.

Not at the fact that it is Yixing

At the fact that it is not Kai

But then again it's Yixing...my best friend...docked on those machines. Bruises all over his chest, face and arms. The oxygen mask on his face, his eyes closed. The rythme of his heartbeat seems normal to me.

I slowly approach the bed and Suho. The doctor and the nurse leave us alone. 

I place on arm on Suho's shoulder and he starts to cry.

'Junmyeon...' I stare on the wall in front of me

'Junmyeon....what...what happened'

He shakes his head.

'Junmyeon please...tell me Kai is alive'

He shakes his head again and rubs his eyes

'Junmyeon...please..'

'I can't...' he whispers and stands up to leave the room.

As he leaves I keep starring on the wall, another tear rolls down my cheek and falls to the floor. I'm holding onto the chair, squeezing the plastic of it.

I suddenly feel dizzy and weird and decide to sit down.

Sit down next to Lay's bed. Watching him so peacfully in this bed. All his bruises, his wounds, the scars from the past years, the machine which is docked on him, the huge oxygen tank behind his bed, the mask on his face, his peacefully sleeping beauty face, except for his bruises...he is indeed beautiful. I'm sitting cross-legged on the chairand reach out to grab his hand.

Slowly his hand, watching him sleeping there - being in a coma can be something so peaceful.

The time is fast, just me and him in this room.

I think about nothing, I just watch him. I don't care about what happens around me. I don't care about the nurse who keeps checking every 15 minutes and so I don't care for beeping noise of the heartmachine  or the ticking noise of the clock on the wall ove the door.

Just me and him

'What are you doing in korea...' I whisper as at least an hour of silence passed.

'Why aren't you china...'

'You should be china right now...why are you here'

I stand up and get napkins from the bathroom and start to clean off the leftover blood on his forehead.

'Why are you here..in this bed...with those bruises..'

'and where is Kai..have you seen him...'

My voice sounds calmer now.

'What have you done again...'

'You got blacklistet, huh?' I chuckle and try to cheer myself up

'They don't let you travel to china anymore right'

'That's why you're here...'

Reality hits me again.

'Where is Kai' I sob

'Have you seen him...is he here...'

'Was he with you?'

'Does he look like you'

'Why are you not in china'

'Don't Leave me'

'Do not leave'

'Don't leave me....'

'Don't let me cry....'

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

srs guys i'm dying here. Tbh I cried 80% while writing this. Idk if you cried but I cried because I imagined every single little detail here and maybe.. because  my first language isn't english I couldn't express it as good as it played in my head but I tell you...I cried a lot and wow...I'm not even done with it...but I will leave you guys with this because it is already really late.

Maybe it was also a mistake to listen to songs such as T-Ara's Don't Leave?

anyways please leave a comment, I highly appreciate it ♥