A/N: dialogues that are italics were flashbacks..

The next day, even without telling to my co members about my plans, I went to MBC alone to tell the producer, that I was going to resign as a host of the show. But when I came there, and was about to tell it to PD, he told me something.. different.

"Amber.. bad news. Ms. Jung just quit as your co host." I was speechless. I didn't know what to respond or how to react from that piece of information. Yes - I admit, I was surprised, but not totally, because I knew what was her reason.. It was me..

"Her manager called me, while I was on my here. I was so shocked, that she's quitting. I didn't expect this to happen, it too sudden.." I wanted to ask him why, but I just stood there, not uttering any word. "He said that, it is because of their concert, and their upcoming album in Japan.. Aigoo.. It was such a waste, because she is your perfect co host."

A part of me was convincing myself to believe, that what he said was true, but the other part was telling me, that I was just fooling myself.. it was just her alibi and.. I knew that..

Maybe he sensed that I have something important to tell him. "Why are you here at this early, Amber? Don't tell me, you're going to quit too?" It came out as a joke, but actually he caught me on that. I just wanted to tell him desperately that I wanted to quit, also.

You're quitting because of Jessica? Because both of you had a history? And you really don't want to work with her from the start? Is that what you wanted to tell him? The back of my mind echoed into my ears, and as long as I didn't want to admit - it was true.. It would just raised suspicion if I quit also. So, without a choice, I already didn't consider to resign..

What do you feel now? The back of my head asked.

What do I feel? What do I really feel? I didn't know, honestly. There was something in my heart that I couldn't picture...

What was it? The back of my head asked again.

I felt that, there was something missing.. I couldn't explain it by words, but I had this urge to find something I couldn't oddly describe. I tried to ignore it, but the feeling was just kept on coming, to the point it was making me crazy...

When I went back to my place, I was surprised to see my members there, again, then I remembered, I owe them an explanation about what happened that night. "I was at Min's, after I went to MBC. She was heart broken. She called me, then I couldn't leave because I was comforting her, that's why I took so long.. My phone was off, because the battery died while I was still at MBC." I lied.

My friends used to call me a 'great pretender', and I didn't know why, but when I said those words to them, now I truly understand.. Fortunately, the three of them believe me - almost, but not Krystal..

I remember what she told me when we were alone in my place, the others already left, while Krystal insisted to stay. "I know that you made that up, Amber. You didn't know how worried I was when you weren't answering my calls.. what? You don't trust me anymore?" I remember also, that her eyes were sad when she said those, and I just felt guilty about it - I mean, I couldn't just tell her that I was at her sister's and something happened between us, then we fought right?

I looked at her, then smiled. I palmed her cheeks, before kissing her forehead. Don't ask me why, I did that, I just felt I have to do it, and instantly her face soften. "Krystal. You didn't know what you're saying. I trust you, please don't say or think like that.. now I will ask you this.. do you trust me?" I said with sincerity and as long as I didn't want to lie, especially to her, I had to force myself because I thought, it was the right thing to do, even if it was wrong, actually. In the end, she let it go.. and my guilt was starting to eat me, that moment..

By the way.. Jessica and I weren't seeing each other again, I might add..











 

Three and a half months later, I was just surprise to hear from our CEO Mr. Lee, that Girls' Generation was disbanded..

The whole showbiz industry - the fans - my other labelmates were shocked, especially me, because I didn't expect it to happen - I mean it was too sudden.

I remember, they were still active, and I heard that they were actually in the middle of preparation of their comeback, that was why I couldn't help but to wonder what was the problem..

"I'm sorry if I couldn't tell you the reason about the sudden split up of the group. But I want to assure you that it was also the girls' choice." Mr. Lee announced  in the meeting, and the people inside the meeting room, including me was just speechless to respond about the information.

I couldn't ask Krystal, because she was also surprised, by the info, and then I guessed, that maybe, she also didn't know. Their fans went berserk - they were in chaos, depressed to hear that their idol was now.. gone.

During that time, as long as I didn't want to admit, I thought of Jessica. I wanted to deny it to myself, but truthfully,  I want to go where she was and ask her, how she was doing - if she was okay, but then.. it was already too late, when I heard from Krystal, just after 2 weeks about the shocking announcement, that her sister, together with Tiffany and Seohyun just went to London, all of a sudden.

Then, I remember, I asked myself that time, why this is happening so fast? It is too sudden.. I asked Krystal, about it, then I was surprised that she also didn't know about their sudden departure, but then she only knew one thing, "Mom and dad told me, that after the groups' split up, a  popular modeling agency in London took them. It was too sudden, that I didn't have a chance to talk to unnie before she left. They said, that the three of them still have to train in London, that's why.." And from her face, when she said it, I could tell that she was shocked as I was..

Now - 6 months have passed and Girls' Generation's sudden disbandment is still a mystery for the others.. for me. Others remained here to pursue their showbiz career in Korea, like Choi Sooyoung, Im Yoona and Kwon Yuri. Kim Taeyeon, Kim Hyoyeon and Lee Sunkyu also remained here, but away from the public eye, because the three of them partnered to build a restaurant in Gangnam district. Like what I've said, others remained here, but some went overseas like, Hwang Tiffany, Seo Juhyun and.. Jessica.. Jessica Jung.

Ever since the trio left, I never heard anyone of them. It is funny to think that they are a model there, but none of their pictures - latest pictures can be seen on the internet and I never dared ask Krystal about it, because she is also wondering.

I have to admit that sometimes - yes, before I sleep, that I would thought of her. Sometimes, I would ask myself.. why did Girls' Generation split? Why London? And lastly.. why did she left, all of asudden without even informing? There are still so many questions left unanswered, but then, later on, I realized, that there must be a reason why these questions couldn't answer so easily.. I mean, I guess, God decided that it was better this way - that.. it is better, we didn't know the true reason of why this happening..

"Amber?" I snapped out of my thoughts, and turned my head of that voice and smiled when I saw Soojung walking towards me. She was wearing a sweet, but nervous smile on her face.

"Nervous?" I asked as I stood up. She nodded biting her lower lip.

I rubbed both of her arms, before I held her hands. "Relax.. we are all here.. you are not alone.. I got you okay?" She took a deep breathe, then  let it out through her nose while nodding.

"Thank you. Thank you, Amber for being there for me, always.." She said, squeezing my hand.

"Shouldn't I be the one saying that line to you?" I joked and she pouted her lips, that made me laugh. "You are welcome and besides.. that's what friends are for, right?" I didn't miss the sudden sadness and disappointment in her eyes, when I said the last phrase - and I, was also, finding it hard to say the `friend' word.. I didn't know, but it made me sad also.. my heart twitched because of it..

"Okay f(x) you are up in 5 minutes!" We suddenly heard the stage director saying.

"Okay, guys! Come here, before we get out of this room.." I heard Victoria shouted, gesturing us with her hand to come over to her. I looked at Krystal and she also, was looking at me. I smiled and squeezed her hand, and she did the same in response, before we - together with Luna and Sulli walked towards Victoria.

We formed in circle, and Victoria took a deep breathe, before she spoke. "Guys, after 5 minutes we are going to show them what we got. 4 years - we waited for 4 years and now this is happening! We don't want to disappoint our fans and family.. we don't want to let them down and this is our chance to show them what we really got! 4 hours! We only have to do is to perform and let's enjoy the rest of the concert! Let's go f(x)!!!"

"LET'S GO F(X)!!!"

And this is the moment we all have been waiting for. Our concert - our first major concert.. and after this, I know, everything will change.. in an amazing way and I, also will change - in a good way and this will be my chance to start over.. I'm doing this for my fans, family and most especially for a better life.. This will be the start of something new..









 

The End.


















 

A/N: and this is the end.. And i couldnt believe that it took me one year to finish this.. I am soo happy that finally!! This story is done, and because of you guys who have kept on reading, motivated me to continue this until the end of.. I also wanted to thank to my loyal subscribers and those people who constantly giving me a comment on every chapter.. For the upvotes and gosh!!!! I just cant believe that I got 400+ comments!! I am not awesome but you guys are!!!! DAEBAKK!!!!! *sigh* i guess, see you next time?? I will be on hiatus for awhile or not?? I think.. But yeah  I think I need to rest on writing for just a couple of days while totally fangirling over snsd's comeback!! Hoho!! Taeyeon, jessica.. Ugh!! My nine unnies.. They are back and all of them are awesome!! Kyaaa!!! Oh, well.. Thank you again guys!! See you next time!! *waves* ^.^v