Chapter I - Why?

MAY 2012

Our dance rehearsal was just ended and we're already here in our van together with our manager and Tiffany. We're on our way to f(x) dorm, to visit my lil' sister, Krystal. Since, the rest of the gang excluding Tiffany, left already because of their individual schedules, I asked her if she can accompany me to go there.

"Jess?" I heard Tiffany's voice and I looked at her, where she's just beside me. "How many luggage will you bring when we go there?"

"What do you mean "How many luggage"?" My eyebrows furrowed because of her question. She's like asking me that I'll bring my whole cabinet.

"I don't know .." She shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe you'll bring you whole cabinet when we go there." She gave an i-know-you look while showing her eyesmile.

"WHAT?!" I exclaimed in English, pretending that I don't get what she meant.

"Hehehehe! Come on, Jessica. Don't pretend like you don't know. We're just gonna stay in LA for 2 days. We're gonna go there for SMTOWN concert, not for our vacation."

Yeah. She's right. Next two weeks, we will fly to LA for our SMTOWN concert. It will be our first destination for the year 2012 and we're already preparing for the big event. Actually, its a dream come true for us because last year we went to New York and we performed at Madison Garden, and now, Los Angeles, California! Call me a delusional girl or a daydreamer but I think, K-POP is slowly become popularly known in US.

"I know that Tiffany." I sighed as a sign of defeat. Its true, sometimes when we travel abroad, I'll bring 2-4 luggage, but NOT just  simple but, LARGE luggage. Even though, we're just staying in that certain country for 3-5 days.

"Hehehe! Just reminding sis!" She said as she lean back to her seat while playing with her phone. I pressed my head against the car window and drifted off to sleep.

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DING DONG!

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DING DONG!

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DING DONG!

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"Hmmm .. What taking them so long?" Tiffany muttered while rubbing her nape.

I pressed the doorbell once again and then we heard some footsteps coming from our right side. We turned our heads towards the source of the sound, knowing it was Amber, wearing a LA cap, a white T-shirt inside her green hoodie jacket, a baggy pants and a pair of sneakers.

"OH! Unnies!" She greeted as she slipped her hand into her pocket.

"Hi Amber!" Tiffany greeted back while waving her hand to Amber.

I don't know what made me to be silent everytime we bump each other. I mean, yes we talk, but it will not exceed for 3 minutes. I am not joking, but that's true. You can also ask my co-members about it. Sometimes, they ask me if I have a problem with her or something, honestly .. I DON'T. I don't have any bad feelings with this girl, actually, she's really a good  person and I am happy that she became close friends with Krystal.

Did I tell you that all of my members are close with Amber? Well, obviously .. Except me. It hurts to know that, she's close with everyone but not me? Sometimes, I think that maybe I did something bad to her before, that's why we're very "awkward" with each other. But in my existence in this world and when I met her, I did not do anything .. I mean, ANYTHING to her. Yes, I admit. I feel jealous and mad, because she did not try to befriend me.

Because, I was spacing-out, I did not notice that Tiffany is already grabbing my arm to enter their dorm. I didn't even notice that Amber is already inside waiting for us. I enter their dorm and I closed the door behind me. We sat on the couch and I noticed that its pretty quiet in this place, I think Soojung is still not here.

"Krystal is still not here, unnies." She said in the kitchen." She and the others are still outside to finish their schedules." Then, she removed her cap and jacket, placing it on the table beside her.

"Aaahhh ..." Tiffany and I nod in unison.

"How about you, Amber? You don't have any schedule today?" I looked at Amber while Tiffany is asking her. I think its her day-off that's why, she's alone here.

"Uhhmm .. Actually, this day was supposed to be my "free day", but earlier manager-oppa told me that I have to attend a photoshoot."

"So, It'll be later?" Tiffany asked as she lean her elbow on the arm rest, placing her chin on her hand.

"Well, actually its already done. So , I have nothing to do now." She said wearing a wide smile as she walk towards the fridge. I felt a little bit jealous when she smile at Tiffany. I feel that I don't exist in this room. Like, I'm a ghost that they don't see me. And also I'm mad, because I want to tell her that Tiffany is not only her visitor.

= BEEP = = BEEP =

I heard Tiffany's phone ringing in her pocket and while she's grabbing it, I looked over at Amber where she's looking something in the fridge. I sighed, as I remember the conversation between them. She really hate me that much? That's why she didn't talk to me, that she's only talking to Tiffany?

"Uhh .. Jessica?" I returned my gaze to Tiffany which is still looking at her phone. "Would you mind to stay here for a moment? Don't worry I'll be back soon. I won't be long!"

"But -------" And before I even finish my sentence, she ran away outside, leaving me here alone with Amber.

"OH! Where's Tiffany-unnie?" I turned my head to see Amber in-front of me while holding two cans of soda. I quickly stood up from the couch and faced her.

"Uhmm .." I trailed off, scatching my head using my index-finger." She's outside. She said, she'll be back."

"Aaahh .. Okay. Uhmm .. Here's your soda unnie." I examine her facial expression if she's okay to be alone with me. Actually, I'm expecting that she'll react about it, but it seems .. She's okay with it.

"Thank you, Amber." I took the soda can and I accidentally made contact with her hand. I looked up to her and our eyes met.

LUB DUB

LUB DUB

LUB DUB

What is this feeling? I can't explain a thing ...

[*INSERT SALTWATER ROOM - OWL CITY TUNE*]

Time together is just never quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this into love?
Only time, only time

I quickly released my hand on hers and looked away from her gaze. I mentally cursed myself. Why am I nervous? Its not a big deal, right?

When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?

I just touched her hand. I didn't do it on purpose. But, earlier ... When our eyes met, why? Why is that my heart is pounding so .......... Fast?

So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?
All the time, all the time

"Uhhmm .. Here's your soda again, unnie." I looked up to her and she's smiling while offering me a can of soda. I smiled back and took it again from her hand. This time, I used my left hand to avoid her right hand.

SILENCE ..

SILENCE ..

SILENCE ..

And here's the awkwardness between us. We're already facing each other and yet, I'm still hesitating to speak-up. I bit my lower lip while looking at the ground. Honestly, I'm sick of this. Sick of this kind of situation. I really want to know the true reason why is she acting like that? Why is everything getting awkward when we bump each other? I really want to ask her but I think my body has it own mind?

"Uhmm .. Jessica-unnie?" I suddenly looked up to her when she called my name. "Uhmm .. How are you?" She asked with a nervous laugh. I can say that she's shy. Cute!

"I'm okay .. How about you?"

"Well .. I'm okay too! Kekeke!" That dorky grin. She's really cute when she grin like that.

"Hey, Amber .. " Since, she started the conversation. I think this is the great time to ask her about the "issue" between us. I'm sick of this, and I want to change it.

"Uhmm .. Did I do something bad to you before?" I kept my head down while asking her. I don't want to see her reaction, neither  her answer. But, I really want to know, why?

"Eh?!" I glanced at her and she's giving me a confused look. "Unnie, what are you talking about?" She tilt her head to the right side while here eyebrows were furrowed.

"Uhhh.." I lost in trance when I saw her reaction. I was so stupid that I asked that question. I shouldn't asked that.

I took a deep breathe. Its NOW or NEVER! "I know, its inappropriate to ask you like that, but .. " I paused for a moment, hunting for the right words to say. " I noticed that, when we bump each -------"

"We're awkward to talk to each other?" She cutted me and I just nod like a kid. Of course, she'll notice it. Because she's invlove.

"Well, unnie .. I also want to talk about it with you .. But .." She stoop her head low while putting her hand into her right pocket. "I think, I'm too shy about it." She said with a weak smile.

"Honestly, I'm also shy to talk about it, but .. I also thought that its better to speak-up rather than to be silent, right? I think it is a big deal for me beacause, we're working in the same agency and we meet each other frequently, of course I don't want to be a snob and I'm not that kind of person."

After, I told her my true true feelings about this awkwardness between us, she then told me the true reason why is she treating me this way. I want to curse myself for being an ice princess when she admit that she's scared of me, that's why she's acting like that. She thought, I was mad or hate her because my lil' sister has a tomboy friend and they have a ship name "KryBer". I mentally laugh when she told me that part. Then, I told her that I don't have any bad feelings for her and also its okay with me for them to have a ship name like that. Now, everything is settled. I'm happy because I found out that we really don't have a problem, its just that we're shy about it. That's why.

"OH! Unnie! Amber!" We turned our heads to see Tiffany and Krystal at the doorway. It seems they were shocked when they saw us. As if, we did something.

"What happened guys? Did we miss something?" Tiffany said in English as the both of them enter the dorm. We stared at them blankly and then Amber and I burst into laughter when we realised what they meant.

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A/N: Ugh! I think its a lame chapter? What do you think? Well, as you can see in this chapter .. That Jessica and Amber is still not close with each other, yet. Obviously, this is a flashback so I hope you won't be confused, neh? Okay  .. subscribe and leave a comment. These two things are motivating me to write more so please .. Please .. Please  .. Especially comments .. It motivates me. I want to hear your feedbacks guys. As always, excuse any grammatical errors.

P.S

Just wondering .. Is Jessica currently dating someone? Or boyfriend? Just curious? Kekeke!

And did you see this video?

Just watch it guys .. There's a JessBer interaction here and its not a simple interaction .. I think they're realy close ..

So bye! ^_^ v