The rehearsal has ended and the first thing Hannah does is to grab drinking yoghurt and follow Manager Lee outside where a few of the staff are: The smoking-area outside the backdoor. Hannah doesn’t smoke, but she wants some fresh air. She had no idea it had stopped raining so it is nice to come out and just breathe the fresh air before the concert. She has to eat and get ready for the concert after this, and she need to breathe some before that. Security guards are by each door, making sure no one sneaks in, and now with Hannah standing out there it is an extra guard in case some crazy fan appears from nowhere. Hannah spots fans far, far, far away, and she waves to them once before she backs away from Manager Lee.

“I don’t understand why you come out here if you hate the smoke,” Manager Lee says when taking a puff of his cigarette.

“It’s the only chance to come outside,” Hannah simply answers. He knows that, but it is always so fun to see when Hannah comes outside and grimaces at those who smoke. It is only Manager Lee who smokes now; the others are done, just standing there chatting during the break.

She drinks from her yoghurt, clearing and looking down on the ground. She knows she is suppressing what happened before with her mother, she knows she can’t think of that now when the concert is here. And they have looked forward to the concert so much; they really want it to be good. Hannah’s fear is to break during the concert, to ruin it completely.

Hannah smiles when talking to the staff out there, she forces it maybe, but she listens to them talk and she laughs lightly at a joke. The staff for the tour is nice and hardworking; she likes to work with them and she thinks they will have a lot of fun working together.

“Oh you have to try the hot soba – it is delicious,” Hannah comments. They are talking about when the tour will reach Japan in October, and one of the staff out there hasn’t been in Tokyo before (he has been in Osaka, but not Tokyo).

“The ladies will make you eat a lot,” Manager Lee tells them and they laugh. “You will have gained so much weight during those few days.”

Hannah laughs with them and she is about to say that they never forces anyone to eat, but she is interrupted half-way by Jonghyun walking out through the door and she instead let the staff ask him what SHINee always eat in Japan – as they spend a lot of time there too. Hannah pretends to be casual around the others when her boyfriend comes outside, but it is distracting because he is answering and naturally talking to the others while that handsome smile of his is focused on her when he steps up to her. Everyone notices it (because it is still new about these two being a couple) and they keep talking while looking how Jonghyun steps right up to Hannah to put his arms around her. Hannah smiles shyly, her whole face is shining but everyone mostly see how shy she is. Jonghyun has longed to show his affection to her in public, so after hugging her he is still standing with an arm around her, chatting with the others.

It takes several minutes before Hannah is relaxing next to him. She rests her head against him, listening to them talk about something that she actually isn’t listening to, and each time Jonghyun speak she can shiver by the sound of his voice and how his chest moves as he takes a new breath.

Tonight is the concert: THE concert, the first opening of their BLACK & WHITE tour. They have practiced, rehearsed, fought and talked about this tour so much this year, even when preparing for the Japanese tour; they mentioned this tour. The BLACK & WHITE tour has been planned for some time to be dedicated to Puzzle (5 Pieces’ fans) for these past five years together, and Hannah’s head is messy with all the words and comments and things they have talked about to say at the press-conference and at interviews. She wants to do well for 5 Pieces, for SM Entertainment, for their fans and she wants to prove so much for her self and for everyone out there who doubt her.

5 Pieces’ Hannah; is she a fraud? Did she lie about who she is? Is she ashamed of her family? Did she actually write her published books or did she copy someone else? There are thousand of questions directed to her about who she is, what she stands for, what is a lie and what is the truth, what is real and what is just a mask for the public. She knows she can’t prove those things through a concert, but she will believe in her fans that have supported her all this time. She wants her fans to know that her own family can bash her in public, but she will still get up on that stage and be part of the best blessing in her life that she will not for one day take for granted. She loves 5 Pieces; her members who believe in her and who she believes in too. They aren’t just a group, they all know it. 5 Pieces did not make it because they want stardom. Damn, if they didn’t love the stage and their fans so much they wouldn’t care about the huge stages and big audiences, they would just want to have fun together, doing whatever it is that makes it worth living together.

All this time; five years have passed, and tonight they will prove for over 15.000 fans and media and everyone that this is what they are meant to do and be. Tonight, it is all about proving that the world is not black and white. Music connects you.

With a smile she looks down, giggling when Jonghyun puts both arms around her to get up in front of her. She laughs when he puts his face in her neck, whispering something to her and she holds on to him when he is stepping forward so she would probably fall backwards if they weren’t holding on to each other. Hannah is too happy to notice that he intentionally is stepping a few steps away from the others, his mouth by her ear and arms wrapped around her.

“You are very distant,” he tells her what he has observed.

“I’m thinking about the concert,” Hannah smiles back in his ear. She feels happy. Her family is gone with the wind, all her thoughts are back to the concert, to her members and this family she has here, to her boyfriend and to how exciting it actually is to begin their second tour. Jonghyun smiles when she laughs out of happiness, and she giggles when hearing fans shout from a distance, expecting her boyfriend to let her go but he holds on to her and kisses her on the cheek.

“I love your laugh.”

Hannah pouts at his voice though a part of her lightens up by his compliment; holding on to him, not caring at all about that her manager is probably glancing at them. “You sound tired,” she whispers and she leans back when he finally lets go of the hug, so she can see his face. He looks tired too.

“You always make me worry,” Jonghyun answers with a sigh, which is not what she expected to hear. Hannah expected him to say he is tired of travelling back and forth between Korea and Japan, of their schedule with recordings and performances and all the other things idols always have to do. Jonghyun keeps looking at her. “You really don’t know how you looked like before when I saw you,” he mentions and puts a lock of her hair over her shoulder.

“I don’t want to talk about that now,” Hannah pouts cutely at him, “I want to focus on the concert…”

“But you will talk to me?”

He worries she won’t talk to him about her family, because their families are so different. Hannah smiles and says she will always talk to him; and Jonghyun smiles at her “always”. Hannah leans her head back when he tries to kiss her, and she laughs when hearing the fans shout from their far away location.

“Is it jealousy I hear?” Jonghyun teases in a low voice, meaning the fans’ shouting, and Hannah hits him arm playfully when stepping away. He loves the attention they get by holding on to each other and by only smiling at each other the fans are screaming.

 

++ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - ++

 

The British journalist Quentin Pelham and his photographer have been in some kind of waiting room where they have been going through questions with Manager Park to ask both 5 Pieces and Lee Sooman; they have gotten to eat Korean food and have been treated very nice even if they have not been allowed to walk around outside this room. he still haven’t gotten to meet 5 Pieces, but Manager Park checks inside once in a while and last time he said that 5 Pieces is currently getting ready with hair and make-up so they will be done in about twenty minutes for the interview.

Quentin laughs out of nervousness when counting down those twenty minutes. To personally meet 5 Pieces, these five Swedish girls he a year ago didn’t even know existed… He can’t believe it.

He hears them before he sees them. Outside the room (the door is open) he can hear the voices of girls and footsteps of high heels, and he is standing up all ready to greet them. The first one he sees is Julia; short spiky pixie cut, golden brown with blonde tops. She looks cool with that hair, perfect with the make-up and he just notices the black lace-up front lace tank top she is wearing when the next girl comes right behind wearing the same black lace top, and they are also wearing the same pair of black lace-hem cropped pants and black patent studded lace pumps – they look y. Carolina’s dark brown mid-length haircut is slightly wavy, marking her face very prettily with a wavy fringe too. Quentin takes notice of her now, not remembering her from the rehearsals other than the energy she had then and how quiet she is now when she comes inside the room after Julia, and Quentin starts to shake their hands one after one.

They are all wearing the same clothes and shoes. Emelia is always spotted. He likes her actually. She steps inside with pale skin, a lot of make-up around her small piercing eyes and her hair is the longest; black with hints of brown and the front of her hair has been lifted up and taken across the crown to the back, a little lift in it to make her look surprisingly gorgeous, it looks playful with the long waves and curls to the hair. Emelia has fascinated him a lot with her quiet look and dark, fast rap in the songs. But then the leader steps in and she greets Quentin just as bright and friendly as she had done earlier, and he knows right away why she is the leader. She takes the front; she is the one talking and starts the conversation right away when she sees him. Stunning as a natural beauty, Maria manages to look more beautiful with the make-up on; her blonde hair is elegantly falling straight down her sides; long and beautiful. It fits Maria very well. Lastly it is Hannah, whose long blonde hair is center-parted and has romantically large curls. He understands her popularity right away; her body has a figure compared to the other members, and by wearing the same clothes you can see the differences in each member, and each one of them stands out but they still melts in together – he understands how they manage to stick together as a group, especially if they can become one by just greeting him.

Quentin doesn’t look at that much, their faces are enough to be fascinated and he is completely out of his head to meet them. He even stutters, which he admits is very unusual for him because he has interviewed Beyoncé, Jay-Z, One Direction and a lot of big celebrities, but those are people everyone have heard about and done interviews with and … 5 Pieces is somehow different. They are shining when sitting down in the sofa to do the interview for him, they are glowing and they have this presence that just makes you look at them and be amazed. He can not wait to see how these girls will perform on the stage for the actual concert.

All the brave questions he had prepared are small on his papers now; he just wants to stare at them and he tries to come up with questions they will have to answer very long, just to hear their voices when they speak.

“I have prepared a lot of question about your tour, your music style and your lives here in Korea, are you ready for it?” he is saying with the British accent that makes Julia focus to hear what he is saying.

“We’re ready,” Emelia answers in a low voice.

“Alright. My first question is how you worked on the concept of the tour and decided on where to go? Because I got to see a little bit of the rehearsals earlier and it was just perfectly organized and the stage was really nice… I was impressed by it right away.”

He notices how Hannah glances at the leader, how Maria puts her hand on her own lap to touch Emelia’s leg lightly with her finger while also thanking for his comment about how it looks and it is Emelia who answers in the end. They all have these movements to show who will answer, and it amuses him to see as he is good to spot those kinds of things.

“The concept of the tour was taken from our third full-length album here in Korea, which is our latest one [Black & White]. Since the concert is based on that album, it has a fighting-concept in both outfits and performances. Since that was pretty much worked out while promoting the album, we just had to sort out everything else to make it fit the concept,” Emelia is answering in her fluent English, even adding a hint of British accent in it though it doesn’t sound like she is mocking him; she is just adjusting to her surroundings. “About the tour stops, all of them haven’t been decided but so far we are going to China, Thailand, Japan, and Vietnam…”

“And Philippines,” Hannah fills out with a nod to help her friend.

“Which is all in Asia, so we are looking forward to find out where else we are going to go for the world tour,” Emelia finishes off saying.

“Do you have any wishes to go to Britain for the tour?”

“Of course. We would love to go there,” Maria answers with a smile.

“We actually went there to promote our first single, back in 2010,” Emelia mentions, and she nods when he looks surprised at that. Quentin hadn’t read about that. “It was just one day in London, so we didn’t really get to see anything…”

“And Hannah went there recently,” Julia quietly adds and Quentin looks at the blonde girl on the side.

“You did, really?”

“I went to London for a vacation, so I got to see Big Ben, Madame Tussauds, London Eye and all the other things. It was really interesting,” Hannah answers and she holds on to her hands when she realises she is nodding too much.

“What did you like in particular about London then?” Quentin likes the conversation, it just flows on and they are talking about something he knows off.

“I really liked the parks there. I spent a lot of time at Hyde Park during my visit because I really love that it is enormous and there were dogs running around. I liked that,” Hannah shyly answers. She is cute, Quentin thinks with a smile, her English is cute too.

“Wow, nice…” Quentin smiles at her words. “I have taken many walks through Hyde Park, so I know what you mean.” He looks down at his papers. “Your tour BLACK & WHITE is a world tour; where do you look forward to go the most with the tour? Is there a country or city you really want to go to?”

This time it is Maria who answers; “Anywhere we have fans, we look forward to going, both to places we have been at before and to places that will be a first.”

“But last year you had only one concert outside Asia, which was in Sweden – in your hometown. Do you expect to go back there for this tour or would you rather go somewhere else in Europe?”

“You know, we would really love to bring our BLACK & WHITE tour to Sweden because we have gotten the chance to do it before and it was a great experience and it is always completely crazy to perform in our own country, though we would also want to bring the tour to other countries in Europe because we get a lot of support from fans there so we just most of all really want to meet our fans.”

 

“Other than the tour, we all know your amazing hit song [Daze] and it is a really great song that is popular all around the world; do 5 Pieces plan on releasing something new internationally or are you going to focus on your time in Korea?”

“At the moment we are focusing on our activities in Korea and Japan, and of course on our tour now, but we are working with Melissa Allen – who wrote both [Black & White] and [Daze] for us – and I think you can expect more at the end of the year or next year,” Carolina is answering. “Please look forward to that…”

“Melissa Allen is a big producer; she has worked with only the best artists in other parts of the world, how come you all met to begin with and how is it to work with her?” Quentin asks.

“It actually started with that we worked with a Swedish producer for our first single [One and Only], and he knew Melissa as he works a lot in America. So he talked to Melissa about the song and about us, which ended with Melissa contacting us – our agency – to suggest working together,” Maria answers, sounding impressed herself.

“So we first met in New York, when we went there for a concert, and she wanted to start work together right away,” Emelia adds, “we invited her to our first concert in Seoul last year and a few days later she gave us a call and said that she had the perfect song for us.”

“That was quite amazing because she said she was inspired to write the song during our concert, and that song is actually [Daze]…”

“Wow, she was inspired to [Daze] through your concert? That is quite amazing, really…”

“It is. We felt very honoured that she wanted to work with us in the beginning and then we got amazed by how well she knew of our image that we had for … almost four years and she had only known us for two three months of that period, and she knew what parts would fit the members and I think it was really fun working together and she was really nice and treated us well even if we felt like rookies around her. We are looking forward to continue work and make more music together, so we hope our fans look forward to that too,” Maria answers excitedly. She is a good speaker, very charming with the way she talks and really means what she is saying, Quentin keeps being impressed with them.

“We have talked some about the tour and your possible plans for more international releases, but what I am the most interested in to talk about is 5 Pieces: Five Swedish girls end up becoming Korea’s most popular girl-group, and today you are one of the most wanted groups in the world. Did you all know you wanted to become singers and was it planned for you to start in South Korea?”

“When we were kids, none of us actually wanted to be a singer,” Maria answers and Quentin can’t help but to look completely shocked at that. The girls laugh lightly at his reaction. “We loved to sing, but it was never something professional because … honestly, we weren’t good singers. But when we started to listen at Korean music, this part of us that just wanted to listen and enjoy changed to us wanting to make and enjoy on a completely different level. I think because it was just Korean music that changed, um, that passion that we had; when we came across an audition for just foreigners here in Korea, we took the chance. Before that we had never thought of being professional singers, we just loved to sing together for ourselves and as a group. And the passion just grew and we fell in love with the stage and our fans’ passion and we just kept going.”

“What were your families responses to when you wanted to go to Korea and be singers? I believe it can’t have been something easy for your families as it is across the globe.”

“Actually,” Maria starts off, “my sisters were the ones listening to Korean and Japanese music first, so when I said that we had been accepted for the next round of the audition in Korea, they were just telling me to take a lot of pictures and enjoy the time there, and then come back for school to start.”

“Our families have been a big support to us during our time as 5 Pieces,” Carolina adds.

“But I have heard that Hannah’s family has been-” Quentin starts but is interrupted by Manager Park who has kept in the back behind him, who says they did not agree on those questions and he had a very fast reaction. “My apologizes,” Quentin says to both the manager and ladies, and he apologizes again when seeing that the ladies all have changed their face-expressions.

“Please continue,” Maria says and clears , wanting him to ask other questions instead of letting it become an awkward silence. Quentin has done many interviews, he has done many mistakes and he has even called the biggest artists by the wrong name, so this is nothing for him and he just continues.

“Going to Korea from Sweden, did you have any difficulties in the beginning and how did you overcome them?”

“When we first were in Korea, everything was difficult for us. We didn’t know the language or culture; we didn’t know anything about music or how to sing or dance or speak, so we were basically babies around aliens at that time and it was definitely not something easy. With a lot of great teachers and people around us that kept holding a pressure for us to get better at all of these things we had to know, we learned faster than we thought was possible, but it required a lot of efforts and hard work and we were tested every single day,” Emelia answers, impressing her members with how well she speaks in English.

“We didn’t become 5 Pieces overnight,” Maria fills out, “even before coming to Korea, we really did our best to be good friends and to do our hardest in what we wanted to reach. We shared a dream together.”

“And that answer leads to my next question; 5 Pieces is a group, but you all started off as friends. There aren’t many groups like that so I want to ask if you ever worry about your work somehow ruining your friendship or if you fight it will show on stage?”

“Actually, when we first came to Korea, the reason people liked us was because we were very open about saying our opinions and we often had our disagreements and fights,” Carolina says and she nods with big eyes when Quentin says he can’t believe that. “After our debut when we were always going on variety shows, we were doing radio and we had to show personalities, we felt that we had to fight or disagree with the members to make people take notice of 5 Pieces. We were fighting almost nonstop at that time and several of times we got tired of each other, but with time now we just nag or play around with each other and if we look back, that time just made our friendship grow stronger.”

“I think that people who watch 5 Pieces, like during our concerts, can see that we are great friends and that we have a strong connection to each other. Rather than saying we have in the past faced problems that could ruin our friendship, we would like to think we face challenges, and each time that happens we prove that our friendship is stronger,” Emelia adds.

Now everyone is smiling. Quentin is amazed. He is stunned.

“I’m in a daze,” he jokes and laughs when the girls do. They understood his point with the joke. “I know I have just met you, but 5 Pieces is really what the rumour says about you; you put people in a daze.”

“Thank you,” the girls says in chorus and he laughs again. These girls are adorable!

“But 5 Pieces have a lot of great songs here in Korea and I have been looking around online at your fans, and it seems to me that 5 Pieces is a group that gives a lot to their fans. You sing about being confident in yourself, you show that nothing is impossible, you are very down to earth and wherever you go you leave an impression. And you are all just 21 years old! What is the reason behind 5 Pieces’ charm to daze everyone everywhere?”

The girls can’t help but to laugh at his way to sound so impressed when saying this to them, and he is just waiting for a great answer.

“Well…” Maria says and glances at her members. No one else wants to answer; Carolina even gives a hand motion for the leader to answer. “It could be that we all grew up without being shown by society to hate on others…” Maria laughs at her own hesitation, or at her answer. “I, personally, grew up was the youngest in my family and we are quite a big family, but we have a lot of love and I have been taught to be confident in myself and who I am and I think with what we do every single day as 5 Pieces now, we see so much and yet we are stuck in this little box, and we just want to be neutral and our own originals to not have to be like everyone else.”

“All of us come from different families,” Julia wants to say, “and we grew up very differently from each other even if we are from the same small part of a city and went to the same school. What I think made us connect in the beginning and has kept us together this close has been that we had our differences, we didn’t hide them and we had the same respect to other people.”

Maria is nodding in agreement, looking straight at Julia.

“What do you value the most; your friendship or 5 Pieces?”

“That’s a strange question because 5 Pieces is based on our friendship; you can’t sort them out,” Emelia answers.

“If we change the focus to your fans then, what is the most memorable gift a fan has ever given to you?”

“Oh, that’s hard,” Carolina laughs.

“For me-” Julia is the first to answer, and she laughs when Carolina says she thought of it fast. “I have prepared to answer this question. For my birthday, I always get congratulations and letters that I find precious, but this year, instead of sending me expensive gifts, the fans were doing charity work under my name. I received letters and videos where fans confessed to do all kind of charity work, and I found it the best gift ever.”

“Wow… that really is something! Even your fans are hardworking people,” Quentin laughs. When will he stop being amazed by this group? “What about the other ladies?”

“It’s probably my second year saying this one, but I got a diary from a fan once,” Hannah answers when it is her turn, “Like a diary filled of a fan’s perspective from day one of finding out about 5 Pieces to like a week before I got the diary, and it was filled with this fan’s thoughts, reactions and all that about 5 Pieces and it was really… I got to read about us from a fan’s perspective and it was really something new.”

“She still keeps it in her room,” Julia mentions with a nod.

“I got underwear once,” Maria says while still thinking about it, “I got this pink underwear with glitter where it stood ‘princess’ on them… I have never worn them, but I guess I can put them up on the wall in my room.”

Quentin is shocked by her words even if it is a joke (it’s true she got that as a gift, but she doesn’t mean she will put it up on the wall), but the girls’ laugh makes him laugh too. This interview will be so good in the paper; 5 Pieces is both deep and funny.

Hannah doesn’t laugh much. She sits quiet for a few minutes, waiting for the interview to end, but when it doesn’t she bites on to her lip, waiting…

“Excuse me,” she says when she finds a silent second, “I’m sorry, but could I… step outside for a moment?”

Her ladies look at her, confused and worried at her request, but Quentin says she can go of course and manager Park opens the door for her when Hannah makes her way out. She keeps biting on to her lip and heads straight over to the waiting room, looking for their manager but when peeking inside, she gets a bad reminder of who are there. Onew and Jonghyun are sitting in the sofa, talking to the stylists and Manager Lee and some others while keeping the pets company and all of them turns to look at Hannah.

“Hannah, is the interview over?” Manager Lee asks, checking the watch on his arm.

“Um… Where is Appa?” Hannah asks in a shaky voice, not seeing him there and she is hiding behind the door a little, holding a hand by her forehead. Everyone can see she is hiding.

“He went to the car, I think… Is the interview over?”

But Hannah has already left. Jonghyun is fast up on his feet, rushing after her and because Hannah is in high heels, he easily catches up to her, grabbing her arm because even when calling her name, Hannah doesn’t turn around or slow down. Hannah breathes out when he turns her around and she puts her arms around his back to hug him, and he knows she is hiding her face from him by doing that.

“What’s wrong?” Jonghyun whispers, lightly holding his hands on her shoulders as he can’t ruin her hair by holding on to her. Hannah also makes sure her face doesn’t touch him, just to keep the make-up.

“I can’t do this,” she whispers back. She is really trying to hold back the tears. She can’t ruin the make-up, but they are just arriving at her eyes and she doesn’t know how to hold it back. Hannah let him go with one hand to touch her eyes, to get rid of those tears.

“You can’t do what? The concert?”

“I don’t know…” Hannah mumbles and she leans back to see if there is anyone around. Jonghyun keeps looking at her face when she steps backwards to lean against the wall, watching how she leans her head back to carefully hide the tears with her fingers. He is confused, not knowing what to do with her. “I can’t do the interviews if they will keep mentioning families… The ladies say our families have always been a big support to us, that we miss them and all those things… I can’t do it. I can’t. They don’t ask me to answer but I can’t sit there and hear them talk proudly about their families when- It’s impossible.”

It feels impossible to have people talk about what a great support their families are when her own family earlier today told her bad things, not about her work but about her. She understands it if her mother can’t get that her very own daughter ran off to Korea to live a life thousand times better than the one she would live in Sweden, but those things she said to her are just biting their way through Hannah on the inside, eating her up and after having a little piece of her being bitten each time she has talked or thought about her family in Sweden for the past five years, what could possibly be left of her?

She doesn’t realise that she is talking, confused with everything that is being said in her head to what is being said through her voice and she gets quiet, just looking at Jonghyun who doesn’t know what he should do. He can’t hug her, she will just step away from him; all he can do is to be there with her. Hannah looks at him with big eyes, holding her breath at first until she can’t hold it anymore.

“You’re panicking,” Jonghyun says with a deep breath when seeing how her hands are shaking.

“Panic… Yes! I should panic! That is only- Panic is right.” Hannah takes a step away from him along the wall, her eyes unfocused. “I mean, what else would be natural? I don’t have a family now do I? My family hates me…”

“They don’t-”

“They do… They don’t understand, but I never expected them to, I just… we all just… I can’t do this,” Hannah breathes and looks at him for just half a second before she starts walking back and forth, her hands goes through her hair and Jonghyun is just staring at her. She makes no sense with her words and she is scaring him. “It’s been five years; they have made me go crazy, a part of me always wanting to… anything, to have a family… just, anything, you know. But now… now… I keep suppressing it all but I can’t do that, no, I can’t anymore. I think of… I think about where everyone goes after work, and they all go home – Appa, Yong Hyun, Mi Young, the ladies have their homes too – everyone have somewhere to go once this is over. I don’t. I don’t have a home to go back to, no family, no home, no-”

“You have us,” Jonghyun whispers but she hears it as she glances at him. “You have me, 5 Pieces, your fans…”

“But that’s it. All of you have somewhere else to go! You all have another life, another family, a place you miss and long for… I got nothing of that. And my fans are hating on me now because of what my sister said last week… It feels like a month of hell. All these comments, all the hate… It’s driving me crazy.”

While she talks she can hear Jonghyun mumble that it is the wrong time wanting to kiss her. He wants to kiss her? Just to have her mind registers those words, she turns her heels around from walking back and forth and she takes two determined steps up to her boyfriend, grabs the back of his neck to pull him in for a kiss. She almost bites on to him in desperation and Jonghyun parts his lips to let out a sound in surprise, but he kisses her back. Hannah keeps her eyes closed tight when his hands lightly hold on to her back and she pierces through his short hair at the back of his head with her fingers, trying to hold on to something.

Jonghyun gets in charge over their mouths, being the one kissing her and he can actually feel how her whole body relaxes; her fingers piercing through his scalp falls down to rests on his shoulders and her body relaxes in his arms. Once she is relaxed, he lets his lips leave hers, not moving away from her but he looks at her face, her whole face. Hannah keeps looking down at first, then she looks up at him, looking like the beautiful and calm girlfriend he has seen many times before.

“My mom said I’m staying in Korea because of you,” Hannah tells him in a whisper, leaning against the wall and with his arms around her he follows to be in front of her. She is much calmer, by his kiss. “I’m not… I don’t mean anything by it, it’s just…”

“I know,” Jonghyun whispers, “I know what you mean.”

Hannah takes a deep breath. It feels like she can breathe again. How could a kiss do that to her? Like medicine to her panic attack, and though it surprises them both, they are in other thoughts now. She makes more sense to him when she isn’t panicking. “I’m in Korea because of 5 Pieces,” Hannah whispers and she keeps her eyes focused on his, “I always have and I always will. But … I can’t handle it. I am not a perfect person, I am far from the kind of idol my fans wants me to be… I can’t pretend that I am someone I’m not anymore.”

Jonghyun hugs her waist with his hands, looking at her. “Your fans know what artist you are,” he tells her quietly, softly, “and no matter what your sister said, I have seen your fans look forward all year for this concert. All week they have been writing on twitter to you; everyone looks forward to the concert. Do not panic.”

“I should panic…”

“Do not panic.”

“But I don’t know what else to do! I got a sister who lies for money, a mother who calls me a , fans who thinks I-”

“?!”

Hannah’s face goes blank by his interruption, just blinking at him when Jonghyun takes a step back in shock. “She called me many things but-”

“Your mother called you that?”

“Yes!” Hannah lifts up her hands. “It’s not like she hasn’t done it before, but what-”

They both look to the side in suddenly silence when hearing someone coming, and Hannah crosses her arms over her chest and looks down when seeing it is Manager Lim. Jonghyun greets the manager politely while Manager Lim looks from Jonghyun to Hannah with a small grimace when he walks up to them.

“I got a text from Manager Park saying that you left in the middle of the interview. Did something happen?”

“Nothing,” Hannah is fast to answer and the couple glances at each other. Her face-expression tells Jonghyun to keep quiet, and he does. “Nothing happened. I just … had to … calm myself. It’s nothing.” She shakes her head. Jonghyun thinks she is the worst liar ever, and when he looks at Manager Lim he knows that the manager doesn’t believe her either.

“Okay…” he says and starts to walk by them, “But don’t take too long; Lee Sooman wants to see you all before the press-conference.”

“We’ll be back in a minute,” Hannah promises in a low voice and she stands there, leaning against the wall and biting her lip when watching him leave.

“He will think we had a fight that made you unfocused during the interview,” Jonghyun mutters when embracing her for a hug.

“Better that than knowing I’m having doubts about everything,” Hannah sighs and leans against him. “What if I break down during the concert?”

“You won’t,” Jonghyun smiles, hugging her lightly, “you will be with the ladies and your fans and all of them know you are their cry-baby. And you always do well.”

“You like to tease me, don’t you?” Hannah sighs again and Jonghyun smiles when leaning his forehead against hers.

“I’m not teasing you now.”

“We should go back,” Hannah mentions, not wanting him to say something that makes her feel bad as his girlfriend. He is so good at words and his voice is really sweet to listen to. She puts her hands on his waist, tugging a little on his shirt as if telling him to step back, but she does it so softly that Jonghyun only thinks she wants to hold on to him.

“Are you ready to go back?” he sounds worried again. “Or do you want me to kiss you again first?”

She smiles softly at those words and when she looks up at him, Jonghyun has this caring face-expression, an expression she thinks is the reason she is getting all shaky. Or she is getting shaky because she is once again reminded of the concert. Jonghyun smiles at her quiet response and he gives her a peck at the side of .

“I won’t panic until the concert is over,” she promises him in a low voice and again their eyes meet when he leans back, taking out his hand for her. “Please don’t tell the ladies that I panicked.”

“They will make you tell them instead,” Jonghyun smirks and he kisses her again when they start to head back.

“I’m serious, Jonghyun,” Hannah whispers, not smiling. She looks at him with a worried face-expression, walking side by side. “I don’t want you to tell them. I trust you on that.”

Jonghyun looks down, blinking a few times. Trust? She said she trusts him. He doesn’t know if that should scare him or move him, and just to hear her say those words makes him loose his words. Jonghyun gives a nod though, confused. Hannah said she trusts me… Has she ever said she trusts anyone; anyone on anything? Has he even heard her say that word before unless she has been panicking?

Coming back to the waiting room, Hannah lets go of his hand before stepping inside. He wants to grab her hand again, just hold it while melting the words she said to him, but when passing the door he starts to bow, following Hannah’s lead who is greeting Lee Sooman who is one of the people in the room.

“Is everything alright with you two?” Lee Sooman warmly asks, knowing that the couple has been together and they both nods and politely answers that it is okay. “Hannah, could I speak with you in private for a minute?”

It’s not that he expects an answer the way he puts his hand on Hannah’s back to lead in to another room. She sees her ladies look after them, busy with their own things to prepare for the press-conference and whatnot while worrying about their youngest. Hannah is lead inside the room next too and Lee Sooman closes the door after them, leaving cameras on the other side to be left alone.

“You heard about your little brother, didn’t you?” Lee Sooman starts off asking and Hannah nods, thinking about the recent text messages from Kyung Ho where he is looking forward to go abroad. “He won’t come to this concert in Seoul but he will go to Shanghai next week, to both see the concert and film a commercial… Kyung Ho is a very talented young boy, Hannah; I know you are aware of that.”

“He is hard-working,” she agrees quietly. He wants to talk about Kyung Ho when the concert is just two-three hours away? Hannah doesn’t even know what time it is.

“Very,” Lee Sooman agrees with her, smiling widely with his eyes that are already difficult to see because of the small size.

Hannah is always nervous when he is around, like the principal of a school. Why would he want to talk to just this student in private? She thinks SM Entertainment is a lot like a school, always comparing the two versions with each other as they have similar parts.

“But it’s not the young talent I want to talk to you about today, Hannah,” Lee Sooman continues. He says her name in a very cute way, she thinks, she has always noticed it. But he says everyone’s names cutely; it is because of the way he talks. “I was going to do an interview earlier, but when I walked inside the room, I saw four instead of five Pieces sit there… The British interviewer felt very pleased with the interview, of course, 5 Pieces always impresses – but you were not there.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It is not an apology I am waiting for,” Lee Sooman says, the words very professional though his character and voice are more of this weird ahjussi you always meet on the bus and don’t know if he is a creep or could be your best friend. Hannah has known him for five years though, and he is the boss, so she knows he is not a creep, but he isn’t your best friend either. He is the boss. “With everything that is going on lately, I have tried to hear around among those working at the agency about you – your behaviour, especially, if it has changed. Because 5 Pieces is already under a lot of pressure, I would guess you have a different pressure on you because you are the only member with an open relationship, and your family now… I have worried if you can pull off this concert because of everything.”

Hannah looks up at him, suddenly terrified. She has in the past heard him ask her if she would want to skip a performance because of her health, during SM Town’s concerts, but the voice he has now is not a question and it makes her terrified.

“The press-conference is in just a few minutes, and if you need some time to relax … we could always say you got hurt during the rehearsals and need to rest before taking on the stage. I know the concert means a lot to 5 Pieces – and all of your fans – so I hope you can pull it through, but about the press-conference… None of us want you to leave in the middle of it in case you can’t handle it; it’s better to come up with an excuse and have you back here all the time.”

“I can do it,” Hannah tells him, her face looks determined but her voice is shaky.

He smiles again. “I knew you would say that. Or your members knew. I talked to them just now and they said you would do it no matter what I tell you. So, here is my conclusion; on Monday you will have a meeting at the agency. We will go through how to deal with your family, your schedule and everything else and we will not leave the meeting until all questions and worries have been answered. Is that a deal?”

She nods, not sure she will find her voice again by the way he talks to her.

“Good,” Lee Sooman says and shakes her hand. “And Hannah, if there is anything you need, let me know. Okay?”

Hannah nods again, and before heading back out she thanks him for that in a low voice. She has to fix her make-up now, get ready for the press-conference and hug her members when apologizing for leaving like that.

 

++ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - ++

Headline 20th: Julia Makes Music Core Sing [Party Tonight]

Headline 20th: Maria & Hyunsuk Have A Special “Beauty Time” On ‘We Got Married’

Headline 20th: 5 Pieces’ Maria Shocks Viewers On Tonight’s ‘We Got Married’ By Not Wearing Make-Up

++ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - ++

++ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - ++

 

X. devonalias