In the mirror at the practice-room that Hannah is facing she sees something move behind her. Like a shadow, just briefly, and with a scream she turns around.

“Woa, it’s just me,” a familiar calm but entertained voice chuckles over her reaction.

Her first reaction is to get angry. She just looks at who it is – though she knew from the voice – and walks then over to the stereo to turn the music off. When sitting down on her heels to press the button she realises that she has been crying while practicing, too lost in thoughts to realise it until now, and she tries to wipe it away with the sleeves to her gray cotton hoodie – only after remembering that it is Maria’s hoodie, and she also remembers that she is wiping away the make-up.

“Great,” she mutters as quiet as a whisper.

With her back against the intruder she walks up to the mirror to try wiping away the make-up she smudged out under her eyes.

“Why were you crying?”

“No reason.”

“You-”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she is fast to snap. She sighs when seeing the mirror reflection of the person behind her and she turns around before he walks up too close to her. “Jonghyun-”

“You are not crying because of me, right?” Jonghyun asks in a sweet voice, and Hannah closes her eyes when he touches the corner of her eye with his thumb, removing a small smudge of the mascara with his simple touch.

“I wasn’t,” she mumbles quietly and puts her both hands up to her face; both her hands are hidden in the sleeves, so the soft fabric is what touches her face. She can probably wash it before returning it to Maria. “What are you doing here?”

“My schedule finished. And I met Maria in the recording studio when I went to get something, and she told me you would be here… And I wanted to apologize about earlier,” Jonghyun slowly answers. Behind the sleeves in her face she can feel how his eyes are on her, watching her while he is talking, and she wonders what is going through his head. “It’s been a while since I saw you like this; practicing while crying. Doing it at the same time. It’s been a while.”

With her forehead wrinkled she looks up at him, looking at him strangely. His voice is shaking a little. And that’s not like Jonghyun.

“Are you nervous?” she asks.

“No. Well…” Jonghyun moves his head back and forth a little, his lips going up. “A little maybe, I don’t know how to express it. Nervous, maybe; worried, definitely.”

“Because of the comeback?” Hannah wonders in a low voice. “I didn’t want to be late, you know. I would have come every single day if I could. I would even-”

“I don’t think ‘worried’ would be the word to use on the comeback,” Jonghyun interrupts her before she can continue and his face-expression doesn’t change while Hannah’s looks confused.

Obviously the comeback is what made him get upset at her earlier today, right? What other explanation is there?

“I’m worried about you,” he fills out for her.

No matter what it is about, Hannah hates those words. She really hates it. It’s the same as been giving a compliment; beside from that she gets so tired that she doesn’t care about how to react. Give Hannah a compliment and she won’t know how to response or react, while saying “I’m worried about you” is like pushing her with both hands on her shoulders so she falls back and lands on a pile of something she has just been done piling up with a lot of thoughts. Furious.

He sees how she turns away from him, her face all blank but dark and he says her name helplessly when she walks by him to get her IPod from the stereo.

“Julia is on the verge of a breakdown, so I thought you would be too,” Jonghyun talks to her back.

“She told you that?”

“Yes. She is getting all worked up because of the Japanese activities since she can’t understand the language. And since she told us that, and now I find you crying in here… You know you can talk to me, Hannah.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Hannah answers with a sigh.

“Why not?” Jonghyun wonders and walks up to her when she is by her bag, putting away the IPod. He grabs her arm lightly to turn her around to face him, his whole face-expression looking worried. “Why not?”

“It’s not a big deal,” Hannah shrugs her shoulders and takes off his hand. “You are making it big. It’s nothing.”

“Everything about you is big to me,” Jonghyun tells her and he almost rolls his eyes when seeing how she gives him a glare. “I’m not lying, Hannah, you need to get that.”

“And you need to get that if I say I don’t want to talk about something; I don’t want to talk about it!” Hannah loudly comments. “And don’t say you are worried about me. If I want to cry, I’ll cry.”

“And if you want to talk to me?” Jonghyun wonders; obviously annoyed over her behaviour. He takes a step back with an annoyed movement with his hand. “I know that you won’t tell me unless I ask. So how can I know when you want to talk to me when you never attempt to do it unless I am the one pushing you to it? And don’t you dare say that it isn’t true. I have known you for five years already, Hannah, and you don’t change on that. So don’t get mad at me for loving and caring for you.”

Hannah is muttering with her eyes on the floor, leaning against the wall next to the chair where her jacket and bag is, and Jonghyun asks her in an annoyed tone to repeat what she mutters. He thought he heard right, and when she doesn’t repeat it he is pretty sure he heard her right over the way she looks to the side.

“You don’t have to ask me to love you, Hannah! Damn. You know I love you, and no matter what I do, you can’t seem to believe that.”

“I didn’t mean it like that…”

“I know you mean it like that!” Jonghyun bursts out. “It’s cute how you always get shy when I say I love you, but if you can’t take my words seriously no matter what I do for you, it is driving me insane. Insane, Hannah! You can’t handle it and I don’t know why. If it is me or your fans; you can’t handle that people like you for who you are – love you for how you look, for your personality and your endless mood swings no matter how annoying they can be. For your hard work. It’s been five years and you still can’t handle it.”

She doesn’t look at him, and that small angry pout in her face lets him know he is right.

“You get upset when I get upset, and I know that whenever I hug you, you must feel my heart pounding like crazy. You think it pounds like that for just anyone?” Jonghyun continues, his voice rising and getting low and he keeps stepping on the place out of annoyance. “At times I think you know it all. And at other times you can’t understand it…”

“You think about all of that just because I say I don’t want to talk about something?” Hannah mutters and her chin lowers even more when he gives out a too loud, forced laugh.

“Your version of ’something’ must be ‘everything’. I can count out thousand of things that you don’t want to talk to me about. And if you don’t tell me, then who would you tell?” he asks and leans forward a little to look at her face closer. “You talk to Maria. But you can’t tell her everything either. Because she wouldn’t understand, right? I maybe won’t understand, but I would love to hear you tell me your worries and troubles. Just like I tell you mine.”

“I do tell you my worries,” Hannah cries out helplessly. “Maybe I don’t do it like other girls-”

“You aren’t like other girls. That’s what I love,” Jonghyun is fast to interrupt, also sounding helpless. “But if you keep closing a door between us, we won’t get anywhere.”

Again she gets quiet, not knowing what to say and she just pouts anew. Jonghyun sighs and takes the attempt to touch her, putting his hands by her neck so she will look at him, and his face is soft when she does.

“I love that I never know how you will react on things; that you get shy over the smallest thing and can’t understand everything. I love the feeling I get in my whole body when I see you, and definitely when I touch you, though I absolutely hate it when we can’t see each other. It’s been just a week since we saw each other last time and those days have been driving me crazy. You make me confused all the time and you drive me crazy, and I love that. I love you, Hannah, for everything you are and everything you do to me, but if you can’t see that or can’t accept that, I don’t know what to do.”

“I didn’t…” Hannah breathes out, not knowing how to continue that sentence so she tries again; “I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t know why you say you love me and I can’t see what makes you say that and that makes me confused. It’s not… I don’t know, Jonghyun. I just … think that I keep disappointing you. I am late to your comeback performance even if you have talked to me about it for days, and even when you prepared all that for Valentines Day – I didn’t prepare anything.”

He smiles, his thumb caressing her cheek. “You liked what I did on Valentines,” he comments, remembering her impressed and shy face-expression from the restaurant a week ago. “And that is what I wanted. I prepared the whole date just to see your reaction for it. And I would be a fool if I ever was disappointed in you over anything.”

“You are disappointed,” Hannah pouts, not having such a light voice as Jonghyun has; she is still upset. “You are disappointed because you think I don’t talk to you, you are disappointed because I can’t handle having the perfect boyfriend-”

“I’m not disappointed over that,” Jonghyun shakes his head and moves closer to her, leaning his forehead on hers and still having his hands by her neck with thumbs by her cheeks. A pair of warm hands is placed on his wrists, lightly holding them there as if she is making sure he won’t take his hands away from her. “I am sad that you don’t talk to me and I think you are stupid for not handling me being your boyfriend all the time while I should be the one having those thoughts about you. The thing you don’t understand, Hannah, is that everything you feel to me; I feel the same to you.”

She has no idea of how her ‘I don’t want to talk’ comment turned out into this, and honestly she doesn’t want to have this conversation. All of a sudden, all she wants is to go home and sleep; a sudden tiredness has fallen over her. She leans forward a little; her lips almost touching his when he actually leans back a little, his hands by her neck keeping a distance.

“I’m serious, Hannah.”

“About what?” she whispers, her eyes still on his lips. If she can kiss him, maybe he will drop the subject and she can go home to sleep. It’s not that she thinks she is a splendid kisser, she just knows that Jonghyun is a guy and every normal guy would choose kissing over talking. Right?

“Us – you and me,” Jonghyun answers, his grip of her tightening a little so Hannah leans back and looks up at his eyes to see the seriousness in them. “I’m not letting you go. No matter how many years it will take, I will make you face that your perfect boyfriend is me, and my perfect girlfriend is you – no disappointment, just pure love.”

“I have absolutely no idea of what you mean,” Hannah quietly comments, kind of hesitating before saying it as she doesn’t know how he will take it because he is very serious, but … she has no idea of what he just said.

Jonghyun presses his lips on hers, sending electricity through her whole body with the hard kiss. It’s not for long, and she can swear that if his hands wasn’t holding on to her so tight, she probably would have fallen on these weak legs. His eyes are on hers, dark and serious.

“It means that I will always love you and I won’t let anything ruin it,” he tells her in a low voice.

She attempts to give him a nod, but her head just give a shaking movement before she parts her lips, barely able to speak. “Kiss me again.” Her eyes that again had glanced at his lips meets his eyes, and that is one of the amazing things with Hannah; she speaks with her eyes. Just a little difference happens in them when she looks at him, and he sees it so clearly. “We won’t ruin it,” she tells him in a whisper, but her voice doesn’t hesitate or tremble like she did just now when begging him to kiss her again even if it is just a whisper. Jonghyun smiles by those words, because she had corrected him. He had said ‘I won’t let anything ruin it’, and she corrected him with ‘we’.

Like she begged him once, Jonghyun kisses her again; this time deeper and desperate. Because who knows when they can meet again?

Coming home that night, Hannah goes to change clothes before she heads over to Julia’s room. The apartment smells like noodles – Carolina is making late night food for herself – and Emelia has already gone to sleep, but Julia’s lamp by the side of her bed is on and Julia is lying in her bed.

“Are you sleeping?” Hannah whispers, not stepping inside but staying by the door.

“No…” Julia whispers and turns around in her bed, her face resting on the pillow but Hannah can still see her face in the nightstand lamp’s light. “Come in.”

Hannah closes the door after her when getting inside the bedroom, walking over to sit at the side of the bed. Not able to look at her friend, Hannah is looking at the sleeve to the sweater she now is wearing. Instead of letting it get quiet between them, Hannah is the first to speak.

“Do you think we should have stayed in Korea and not going to Japan for promotions?” the youngest asks in a low voice.

“No… what makes you think that?”

“Because SHINee says you tell them you are going to break down soon because of our Japanese activities…” Hannah mutters in her low voice, out of nowhere noticing that she feels like she is going to cry. She loves to promote in Japan, just as she loves to promote in Korea, but what makes her love it so much is because 5 Pieces is doing it as a group. It makes her not feel so alone. But if she loves it and another member hates it… then she can’t love it anymore, since they are in this together, right?

“That doesn’t mean I hate it, Hannah,” Julia sighs tiredly and turns around to lie more comfortable in her bed. “Maybe I don’t have this manga and anime addiction like you, Maria and Emelia has, but I didn’t really have that when we came to Korea either, but I don’t hate our activities in Japan. What I don’t like very much is learning a new language while we are busy doing so many other things, and that is why I said what I said to SHINee.”

“So…”

“So you don’t have to spend some hours worrying if I am happy or not, yes,” Julia finishes Hannah’s sentence.

Hannah smiles at the words of her friends, maybe getting a little too happy. “So everything is okay?”

“Everything’s okay,” Julia laughs and hits her leg a little on Hannah who also laughs. “Now go. I’m tired.”

“Me too,” Hannah is fast to get up, smiling, but she still leans down to give Julia a fast, small hug. “Don’t forget to talk to me whenever you want; how much you want. Goodnight, Julia.”

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{Twitter, 5P_HANNAH: Beijing tonight!}

“5 Pieces is making an Asia takeover,” Carolina jokes with a yawn when walking off the airplane at Beijing, China. Hannah smiles at the comment while checking twitter on her cell phone, walking with her head down. The girl-group have spent most of the day in Busan together with SNSD, having two events for the skin product with one where they promoted the product in the store and one where the two girl-groups performed some of their hit songs. Going from Busan to Seoul and after one hour and forty-five minutes on the plane the five ladies have now landed in Beijing – in their [Daze] outfits. Julia had sat down with Hannah on the train-ride to Busan, and they were giggling a lot over Jonghyun getting upset yesterday and Julia confessed that she misses her mother a lot these days because her mother is meeting someone and Julia doesn’t know who it is and she just wants her mother to do well. Julia grew up with two older sisters that are almost ten years older, and Julia grew up alone with her mother; so Julia has had a hard time for the past five years leaving her mother alone. Sending her mother isn’t always enough, even if her mother says it’s more than enough, because her mother knows she is doing well. They talk a lot about Julia’s mother on the train.

It’s already in the evening in Beijing, and 5 Pieces gets out from the back at the airport to not be held back by fans and media, as they have a strict schedule to stick to. Getting on the road, 5 Pieces are looking at their hair and make-up to check if it is good and applying some more to look as they are ready for the stage.

“There will be a small crew from Sweden filming you backstage today and at the show, and they will also film tomorrow in Hanoi,” their manager is informing when heading to the show venue. “Swedish would be great to use, otherwise you should use Korean.”

“From Sweden?” Julia wonders.

“From Sweden, but it might air in other European countries too.”

“Cool.”

Hannah gives a smile at Carolina’s short comment, and then shakes her head when Carolina turns to ask her if the eye-liner is smudged on the side of her eye.

For this performance there won’t be any rehearsal, but 5 Pieces arrives and are lead backstage to a room prepared for them to spend their time before their performance and present backstage there are also the small Swedish filming crew are waiting. Introductions are easily done, Hannah automatically leaning on her members to handle the talking and taking the attention. It feels good actually; to take a break from the main attention in Japan and becoming the little baby of the group again.

Being ready when arriving, 5 Pieces doesn’t really relax after the introduction with the Swedish filming crew before they do brief interviews with Chinese channels and TV-programs; expectations on the show and thoughts before and such. Emelia shows off her Chinese skill brightly, Julia not as much, but the two of them definitely speaks the most. The Swedish crew is filming in the background a little; they are trying to capture some of 5 Pieces’ popularity and schedule and how they are doing working abroad.

After the interviews, the girls are again checking their make-up and hair and they change shoes too. Hannah keeps herself occupied to not have to answer any questions; its awkward hearing the members speak in Swedish for the cameras. Carolina is explaining very unnecessary about that 5 Pieces travel in one pair of shoes and then put on the stage shoes right before the performance though they are wearing the stage clothes through the whole ride from Korea to China.

“You all seem to travel back and forth from country to country a lot. Do you have any methods when you travel or being comfortable or something?” the camera-man asks her.

“Um…” Carolina wonders and looks to be really thinking about it. “I usually sleep or go online at the airplanes to be comfortable. I know for Emelia, when we are going further away than China, she takes these sleeping pills because she easily gets sick… But the best trick of a comfortable ride is to bring snacks – crackers are good – or peanuts that they give you on the plane. That’s yummy.”

“If you are on the plane dressed like that, don’t you grab attention?”

Carolina looks down at her outfit. They have no fake tattoos today, but their stage outfits are really something, and Carolina smiles as she likes how she looks and by the memory of being at the airport and on the plane dressed like this. “Who wouldn’t grab attention looking like this? But we are used to grab attention, really, so we don’t really notice that we are noticed. Can I say it like that? But yeah… that’s how it is.”

A little later, the camera films 5 Pieces heading out of the room; whispering and being nervous, the camera-man asks Maria where they are going and why they are so nervous.

“We are going to greet a legend,” Maria is whispering up close to the camera, obviously excited. “All living creatures in this galaxy must know who he is.”

Maria puts her hand on Hannah’s shoulder to get the younger girl walking in front of her, and though Hannah looks back at her friend, Maria didn’t want to say anything.

Nervously, the five ladies walk tightly together in to one of the other backstage rooms and from outside the room the camera-man who is filming their backs can hear the girl-group do their polite greetings in Chinese. When he gets to step inside the room after 5 Pieces, the camera capturing the sound of a person greeting 5 Pieces in Korean, and then the camera films the owner of that voice; Jackie Chan – THE Jackie Chan. 5 Pieces are super nervous; shaking hands and uncontrollable smiles, and Hannah is impressed with how Emelia still manages to sort out her thoughts so her Chinese comes out well (Hannah doesn’t understand Chinese but Jackie Chan says it’s good).

“Your Korean is very good,” Carolina comments in English when Jackie Chan continues to show off his Korean.

“Your Korean is very good,” Jackie Chan laughs – he means since 5 Pieces isn’t Korean and they speak probably fluently, their Korean is really good – and everyone in the room laughs at the comment because … it is funny. Jackie Chan points to the camera, speaking English. “5 Pieces is the bomb!”

It is a lot of laughter and joking during the short meeting with the legendary celebrity, and when leaving the girls are constantly bowing to him, and once they are out of the room they are freaking out. Face-expressions with mouth open and big eyes showed to the camera and Hannah even jumps a little; no matter who they have met in their lives, each time they meet another great, amazing person, the girls can’t hold back their emotions. Maybe the Swedish staff gets a surprise (thinking “doesn’t 5 Pieces meet celebrities like this all the time?”) but 5 Pieces appear adorable in the clip after meeting Jackie Chan while they seemed professional yet nervous and excited when actually standing face to face with him.

“Isn’t he amazing?” Maria asks the camera-man in Swedish when they are back in 5 Pieces room. Maria’s smile is covering her whole face and she puts her hand by her cheek, as if it was dreamy to meet Jackie Chan. “He said that 5 Pieces is big and that he will look forward to our performance, hi-hi-hi. He will perform too. Hi-hi”

But now when they are back in their room, 5 Pieces starts to prepare for their performance – warming up their bodies, going through the English lyrics for both [Daze] and [Black & White], practicing the dance and also warming up their voices. They take the microphones in the backstage room and exchange some advice with each other before Maria calls out for Pieces and the five ladies stands around close to each other with their hands on top of each other in the middle.

“Let’s go, Pieces!” Maria shouts out in a cheer as the leader. “Who are we?!”

“5 Pieces!”

“Who are we?!” Maria shouts louder and all five of them shouts with hands flying up in the air; “5 PIECES!”

Blood is pumping up during the cheer, always making the girls excited for a performance and the ladies shouting their name the loudest the last time with their hands flying up in the air the girls are clapping their hands and continuing to stay pumped up when they start to head to the stage.

Standing by the stage, waiting for their turn, 5 Pieces are listening to their manager explaining their stage to remind them once more.

“You will perform [Daze] first before you do an introduction in Chinese – the short introduction – before moving on with the last song,” their manager informs and the girls are nodding.

“Julia, don’t forget to lift your leg higher during [Daze],” Carolina reminds of a mistake Julia often makes – if Julia doesn’t lift her leg high enough she will step on Carolina or something so Carolina often reminds her about it – and Julia just nods. Hannah nods too while rubbing her hands together and shaking them. Her hands get warm and sweaty very easily so Hannah always tries to make them dry before a performance in case it will make her drop her microphone.

5 Pieces’ performance starts off, and for the first time today they get to see the audience. It is a large audience in Beijing because there are many artists performing, and the stage is shining brightly, music is loud with the exciting and addictive [Daze] that 5 Pieces is singing and dancing live with the effects of lights and smoke and even fireworks, and the audience is wild. This is why performing is the best. The audience is singing along, they are chanting, some are waving signs or purple balloons and jumping and some are even dancing to the fun song. 5 Pieces get excited because the audience gets excited and that makes the audience gets even more excited. The Swedish filming crew manages to actually capture someone crying in the audience. Hair is flying during [Daze], one of the most fun and exciting part of the whole song that probably also is why it is so popular. Everyone throws their hair for [Daze].

After a short Chinese introduction, 5 Pieces continues with the next, second and last song – [Black & White].

Coming off the stage, 5 Pieces are still pumped up though they are out of breath and sweaty from the just great performance. While walking to their room backstage they are handing over the microphones to staff and it seems like they are in a hurry. Their manager is with them, keeping his hand on Emelia’s back while leading them to the room. Backstage the girls are changing their shoes again, wiping away some sweat and talking, and the Swedish camera team is there too.

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Maria turns the camera around to film herself. She has showered, her long hair still wet, and she is wearing a long top, and with a long arm she can film herself well. A pretty face without any make-up, clean and young and she smiles when focusing the camera on her self. The Swedish camera team had asked the girl-group to film some self-taken footage (since 5 Pieces apparently are professional and knows what to film, and any footage could be useful for the broadcast) and Maria is the first one to do so.

“We have come home to our apartment in Seoul after spending a few hours in Beijing,” Maria is informing in a very relaxed tone and way, speaking Swedish. “Tomorrow we are … we have some schedule here in Korea first, but then we will go to Hanoi (Vietnam) for a fan signing and performance. And then come back to Korea right after. It is not a long visit and it is four hours on the plane, which always makes me tired and I really don’t like how we get tired after the flight when it would seem more logical to be awake after resting on the plane, right? But if that is what it takes, then we are all in for it. And now … I am going to sleep. And I will sleep well. Goodnight.”

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Headline 23rd: 5 Pieces Flaunts New Hairstyles Coming Back To Korea

Headline 24th: 5 Pieces & SNSD Promotes Skin Care Product In Busan For Thousand Of Fans By Performing Their Hit Songs

Headline 24th: 5 Pieces Brings Chaos To Beijing With Special Appearance

Headline 24th: 5 Pieces Snaps Picture With Jackie Chan

Headline 24th: Christina Aguilera Tweets “America Is Ready For The Fighting Girls in 5 Pieces”!

Headline 25th: Korea’s Third Best Book Of The Week Is ‘Joe – Under Seoul’s Streets’

Headline 25th: (Sweden) Best 5 Books Of February, Number 2 Is ‘Joe – Under Seoul’s Streets’

Headline 25th: 5 Pieces’ Japanese PV Teaser For [Run Out] Revealed

Headline 25th: 5 Pieces’ 3rd Photo Book ‘Pieces Play ‘n Fun In Taiwan’ DVD Released

Headline 25th: Vietnam Joins In The [Daze] Craze With 5 Pieces’ Visit

Headline 26th: 5 Pieces Counts Down ‘D-30’ For First Japan Arena Tour

Headline 26th: Maria & Hyunsuk Uploads Pictures From Couple Photo Shoot

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X. devonalias