Chapter 46

Youngest of Pieces: [WHO- I AM] (8)

 

[Hannah] *Before you met me, I was alright but things

Were kinda heavy, you brought me to life

Now every February, you’ll be my valentine, valentine*

Hannah and Julia are performing their duet of Katy Perry’s [Teenage Dream]. It is the beginning of the song; Hannah sings her first part that has this annoyingly loud pitch that she always has trouble singing but somehow managing to do it with a small grimace. They have gone through the first and second act of the concert, and Hannah is feeling just as uncomfortable on stage as she did in the beginning. While looking out over the audience she can’t find a single person showing a card with something written for her or picture of her, while she finds a lot of the other members. Her confidence is sinking each time she sees a new card put up in the air, just to find it isn’t to her.

A slow reaction, Hannah realises the chorus has started and she starts to sing. Her body is moving on its own, but she has to remind herself to sing several times through each song – because moving, she does from beginning to end of the concert, while singing she take turns with the members so it isn’t something constant, leaving her mind wandering off at times today.

Through the song the two girls meet up in the middle of the extra stage and Hannah forces out a smile to her friend when passing by each other while performing.

Not until towards the end of the song, Hannah spots it. A little deeper in the audience, a sign is held up by two hands, one hand also struggling to hold up the purple light-stick. Hannah feels her whole body, mind and soul just stops existing for a second or two when she reads what it says, and she feels lost after she has read it that she turns to read it a few more times to make sure it isn’t just her imagination. The fan has written ‘it’s ok if he makes you happy’, writing JjongHan at the top of her card in smaller text than the message.

[Teenage Dream] comes to an end and Hannah gets off the stage with a hand over . She keeps trying to hold in the tears, but even after leaving the microphone and she is walking towards the dressing-room, the tears are falling down her cheeks.

“Hannah, what is it?” Manager Lim asks when she reaches the door. He has just told Emelia and Carolina to go wait by the stage for their turn, wishing the two girls luck on their duet when they left, and half a minute later a crying Hannah appears. He puts his arms around her, hushing her in hope she won’t ruin the make-up.

Mi Young has run up to them, fearing her wonderful work on the make-up won’t survive the flood of tears, so she hands napkins to Hannah to help her hold under her eyes to accept the tears. Hannah just cries, surprising the manager who thought she couldn’t cry anymore – so much as she has cried these days it surprises him she can continue.

Though the young lady cries, she has to change her clothes. Mi Young helps her with the tears that keep falling while Yong Hyun helps her to change into the sleeveless tulle dress in beige; he pulls her t-shirt off, pulls on the dress and then takes off her jeans. Of course Hannah helps out too, though she is crying. They know why she cries, she somehow manages to explain what she saw. She gets to sit down on a chair when she is done changing; Mi Young had disappeared to help Julia get ready and then comes back to Hannah when she is done.

“You keep crying,” Mi Young whispers.

Hannah is leaning back in her seat a little and the female stylist is leaning a little over her to help her wipe away the tears. Not yet in a while do they have to get up on the stage, as the solo stages are being held and after that it is an introduction video for the next act – Emotional Girls.

“Why are you crying, baby?” Maria runs up to them after coming back from her solo stage. She is shocked to see Hannah a mess, crying backstage.

“She saw a fan hold up a card, writing a support message,” Mi Young kindly explains while wiping Hannah’s tears.

The youngest tries to stop her tears by shutting her eyes tightly, but it doesn’t really work when Maria hugs her. “I keep saying that you are overreacting. Not all fans are disappointed, Hannah, you need to get that. Now stop crying, we have a concert to finish, alright?”

“I can’t go back up there!” Hannah whines quietly in a squeaky voice, lifting up her hands to hide her face.

Maria’s eyes get big hearing that, grabbing a chair to sit in front of Hannah, slightly panicking. “Hannah…”

“There is no one in tonight’s audience wanting me there, Maria,” she keeps crying, trying to keep her voice low for the others to not eavesdropping. “I can’t find a single person there who is jumping and calling out my name. They don’t want me on the stage…”

“You know that is a lie, Hannah, I have seen several of people in the audience jumping and shouting for you. And if you don’t want to see that, you still have to go up there – WE need you on stage with us,” Maria tells her in a strict voice, certain words comes out with more determination than others just to show what words are important.

Maria knows, just as they all know, how much 5 Pieces means to each member in the group. Hannah is no exception. But like every person, you can get lost or confused. Maria thinks Hannah is confused. Her fear to be disliked makes her afraid to go on the stage and do something they have done plenty of times and that they all love to do. What their youngest need to do is to stop being afraid.

“Together, Hannah, remember that,” Maria whispers to her, putting a hand on Hannah’s leg to lightly caress it comfortingly.

The youngest lowers her head to wipe the tears on her own with a napkin, trying to tell her self that she isn’t completely alone in this. She knows she will always have her members there, always Manager Lim and their stylists ready backstage. If she comes running back with tears, they will embrace her for comfort; if she comes running back with laughter, they will laugh with her. She knows this. But on the stage, surrounded by not just her members but also 10,000 fans that seem to not want here there … it is difficult to continue.

Before getting on the stage for their next act, Hannah gathers the strength from her members, convincing herself that she will manage to do this with them. She will take anything to finish this concert now; she has set her mind on that, telling herself that she can fall apart when it is done. So she goes up to sing the ballads with her members. She feels traces from the tears under the new layer of make-up in her face, but she is once again blank. She can’t think of the lyrics she thinks, not knowing what she is singing though she doesn’t make mistakes; just faint singing.

She makes it through the two ballads and their dance track [You Said A Lie], and after changing clothes she starts to perform [I CRY] – alone.

And it is completely different. It feels like her confidence has walked off the stage, leaving her on her own. Confused she glances to the side while singing the first chorus of the song, wondering where her members are. Her heart is starting to beat faster, her chest shaking as she starts to panic. She looks out over the audience before facing down, her voice trembling at the last words of the chorus. A purple ocean is before her. The chorus ends and only the piano continue to play when she starts to walk down the stairs to reach down to the main stage. The piano has just begun to continue playing when Hannah hears voices singing. It’s her song they sing, and she almost falls down the stairs – missing a step – when looking out over the ocean that has started to sing the chorus that is played instrumental on the piano. Their pianist on stage, Giyoon, even looks up in surprise as it is her first time hearing anyone sings along at this part.

But it isn’t just a few fans. Hannah can’t control her face-expression when hearing the arena sing her song, her eyes tearing while she looks around at the audience in the purple ocean.

Backstage, the members as well as staff get a shock to hear the audience sing at this part. Maria puts both hands to when hearing it, her eyes tearing up just as much as Hannah’s.

It’s beautiful. Hannah loves to hear the audience sing, and just like it is for the other part where the audience is supposed to sing, this is amazingly beautiful to not just listen to but to see as well. Standing next to the stage is Manager Lee, and he is filming it all with a small camera. No way will they miss the chance to capture this view.

She has walked out to the front of the main stage, missing her part to sing *mmmm* calmly as she is simply said amazed by the audience. And the audience stops singing just before more instruments starts to play, making Hannah realise she forgot to sing a part before she louder and more desperate sings as they have practiced. She is choking with the tears and she stops to sing, holding a hand over , trying to remind herself to not break apart. The audience screams loudly – not just one person, the whole arena screams for her to see her try hold back the tears.

The girl continues to sing, her voice effected but not completely ruined by the tears when she is doing the adlibs and she sits down on her heels sooner than usually a little on the side, in front of the fans. Her legs were shaking too much for her to stand straight.

*Of a girl like me

I can’t do this anymore

The street I walk is endless…

I have to end it*

Hannah sees a girl in front of her. A teenage girl who is standing with her fingers lightly over , looking amazed when looking up at Hannah and it looks like she is jumping a little, and her whole face filled with tears. Hannah’s own mouth twitches a little, maybe trying to smile at the girl, but she is still shocked over the audience singing to that part.

She stands up in silence, the instruments are quiet and the background screen has the rain falling. She is going to cry, she knows it, she has the tears in her eyes and they don’t want to go back. Closing her eyes, she allows the tears to fall down her cheeks before she starts to walk, starting to sing when the piano lowly plays for her.

Quietly, very quietly, she sings when leaving the main stage to walk out on the extra stage in the middle.

*I cry myself to sleep…

These tears-*

Her voice disappears when she hears that the audience is singing it too, and though she stops because of the tears, the audience continues to sing the same part that she was singing. Hannah keeps walking slowly, hiding behind her hand when crying. A fan on her side shouts out over the other singing that she shouldn’t cry anymore, and she can’t help but to give a laugh at that. She turns around to her left, bows to the audience there as the voice came from there, as if she is apologizing for crying.

*Wooooh, I cry~ Ooh! I cry!*

Hannah joins in at the end where the fans doesn’t sing, she sings higher for this adlib, both crying and smiling as she now is at the extra stage and looks out over the ocean waving around her. The piano continues to play when she gets quiet and Hannah tries to wipe away her tears.

The audience hasn’t been upset with her at all today. She has been blind not seeing her own fans in the audience, and the audience felt horrible for their previous reactions (all of them have somehow given a bad reaction to the news about Hannah and Jonghyun, whether it is cursing in front of the computer at home or showing their disappointment in public, they are all feeling guilty). And to see Hannah today at the concert really made them feel bad, because Hannah is the same idol of theirs as she was two weeks ago. She is still the cry baby of 5 Pieces. In hope for Hannah to notice that they still like her, they sang earlier in the song, not liking to see the youngest look so broken on stage.

Hannah smiles out at the audience, smiling in embarrassing for crying once again. She puts the microphone to her lips, turning her head when looking out over the view around her.

“Only you can make me cry like this,” Hannah whispers in Japanese and laughs at the tears continuing to fall down her cheeks. The audience screams loudly at her confession, and Hannah in her low voice starts to sing the chorus, looking down of embarrassment. How could she have doubted her fans in the first place? Maria and her members have been right all along, her manager too.

The audience sings along, knowing that this is actually the part where they are supposed to sing along. Hannah barely sings at all before she holds out the microphone to the audience, hiding once again before she has to try wipe away the tears. She can’t stop smiling though she keeps crying too, it is a confusing mix but the audience understands it.

Once again they sing the chorus, the audience continuing to sing along and Hannah does her best to sing adlibs and more like she is supposed to do. In the end she looks down and smiles, wiping her tears with both hands even if she is holding the microphone in one hand. She sits down on the stage and the audience cheers lightly when she lies down on her back, her left hand first stretched out freely on the stage before she puts it by her head, singing the last parts of the song.

The stage goes dark when Hannah’s performance of [I CRY] ends and the audience starts to scream wildly, while Hannah in the dark gets off the stage. She runs to change back to her dress and she apologizes over and over and over again to the stylists as she keeps ruining today’s make-up. For the first time they tell her it is okay, saying it was beautiful out there on the stage. And Hannah meets up with her members when getting on the stage again for another ballad performance – the Japanese song [Secret of my tears]. The song just gets to begin when Hannah looks over the audience and she turns her back against them to try not to cry by waving her hands to her eyes.

5 Pieces is standing on the main stage in their usual order, a little space between them to take on the whole main stage, and Hannah is on their very left side. She turns around to sing her short part, only to have the tears coming back once again when she starts to cry. Her part ends and she looks to her right, smiling behind her hand again covering at Julia who looks at her. Julia gives a smile and then looks out at the audience when they all start to sing the chorus. Hannah tries to sing but each time she tries her voice won’t come out right; she can’t stop crying.

Emelia further away notices a voice missing and glances over at Hannah, and she looks troubled to see the youngest unable to stop crying this time. Even Maria’s voice stagger a little at a moment in the song, and she even stops to sing in the middle of her part to brightly smile out at the audience. She is so proud at them. She is proud that their fans managed to push Hannah back on the right track, and Hannah crying now she knows is because she is thankful and feels bad for doubting her fans. Maria is happy, so damn happy.

The ballad comes to an end, and knowing it is time for their second talk on the stage, Maria knows she won’t get another chance yet so she walks behind the other members with determined steps and she hears the audience scream when she embraces Hannah. Hannah cried throughout the song, her tears not stopping and she continues to cry in Maria’s arms, holding on to her friend’s back.

“Music wins over our love status,” Maria whispers to Hannah, proudly in her ear while hugging her tightly. “They love you just as much as you love them. Do remember that, baby.”

Hannah nods, still crying. She can hear the other members continuing with the concert, talking about the usual they do for this segment, but Hannah can’t really hear what they say. When Hannah gets out of the hug, Maria holds on to her face to wipe away the tears with her thumbs, also to make sure her make-up isn’t a complete mess. Their stylists have learnt – not much eye make-up. Hannah smiles, embarrassed again, and she lifts up her hand to try hide her face from the audience. A camera for the big screen tried to do a close-up on her from below the stage, but Hannah’s hand blocks it: it doesn’t stop the audience to scream though.

Slowly the leader goes back to her place, joining in the conversation of the other members, and Hannah bows to the audience, soundlessly making her bow an apology again. When standing up straight she keeps hiding behind her hand, her eyes visibly shows the tears that doesn’t stop falling. She looks at her right at the members helping out to try putting the focus on them instead of Hannah. Not until they know they are failing, Julia smiles at her and takes a few small steps over to Hannah, patting her back a little.

“Nagoya!” Emelia calls out suddenly to the audience, a hand up in the air. “Those of you, who enjoyed our cry baby’s solo stage, scream out loudly!”

Hannah cries even more when the fans in the hall start to scream out loudly. Carolina shouted along too, maybe understanding what Emelia said or she just heard that she told the fans to scream out loudly. Emelia smiles at the answer, her smile softens and she speaks in a calmer voice this time, speaking Japanese;

“For the past couple of days, we have viewed reactions of our fans… Reactions that have been the reason the recent news that came out weren’t said earlier. I feel that I should say something about this, and on stage now, I am taking my chance in front of everyone here,” Emelia is saying in a serious tone, “It probably came as a shock to hear that our Hannah is in a relationship, and all five of us have taken part of Hannah’s regret, fear and guilt for keeping it a secret from all our fans who do everything for us. The reason Hannah and Jonghyun didn’t step out with the truth earlier was because they didn’t think everyone was ready for it. For me, not just as 5 Pieces but as a friend, family and observer, I wish everyone will keep loving our youngest and forgive us all for keeping this secret from you.”

She bows, and the other members push themselves to stand closer together when bowing too. The audience is screaming, some shouting that it’s okay and that there is nothing to forgive and so on. Hannah is crying even more; she didn’t know they would even mention the reason she is a mess today.

“And I also want to thank each and every one of you who have moved our youngest to tears here tonight,” Emelia adds as a little joke, bowing again along with laughter. Hannah gives a laugh in her tears too, the audience screaming loudly.

“We are pieces of one!” Carolina shouts out loudly in the microphone and the girls all five answers in their microphones, hearing the audience answering too; “5 Pieces!”

“And?!” Maria reaches out her microphone, and the ladies do the same to the audience.

“PUZZLE! WOAAA!” the audience screams out loudly, crazily.

Being done with that, Hannah keeps bowing to the audience; Julia next to her repeats a few bows too. Hannah stands up straight after one bow and she takes a step back when Emelia is in front of her, embracing her. Hannah just laughs when getting the hug, the audience continuing to scream and Carolina says something in the microphone before Hannah feels the other members join in the hug.

Always with her members, her members can turn from tears to laughter.

 

Finished the talk by interviewing some fans, the ladies went backstage to prepare for the next act – Dangerous Fairytale.

Back up on the stage, Hannah feels better. Because this act is a charismatic, Hannah doesn’t have to smile, which she is happy over as she might feel better, she still has trouble smiling. They perform [Once Upon A Time], the Japanese version, first before continuing with [Let Me Love]. The R&B dance track starts off well, the ladies singing and dancing well; performing well. The first chorus has passed, Hannah is singing first at the front.

All of a sudden, fans start to scream out loudly. Hannah continues to perform, a little curious to know what the members did behind her for the scream and when her part is done she lets Julia step up to do her own part and Hannah notices when stepping backwards that Julia glances to the side at the back, so Hannah looks too, seeing Maria helping Carolina up on her feet. Did she fall?

Hannah keeps glancing at them, seeing Maria continuing to perform while Carolina looks to not be able to catch up. Emelia touches Hannah a little from behind to remind her of her part coming again now after Julia and Hannah focuses on the performance again. She keeps thinking of what happened, as she didn’t see anything. Maria takes her part next and Hannah steps to the side, continuing to perform while she looks over her other shoulder now, seeing Carolina leaning forward, not focusing at all on the performance. She looks to be in pain. Emelia looks around too, asking her friend without the microphone if she is okay. Emelia then lifts her hands up to give a sign to stop the music when Carolina doesn’t look okay.

The music stops, and Hannah thinks Maria was waiting for it because though she was in the end of her part at the front of the stage, she reacts the moment the music stops and turns around to head to Carolina like all the other ladies. Hannah holds her hand behind her back to keep the microphone away when getting next to Carolina, noticing the girl is in pain in her leg or something as she tries to not have a weight on it, as if she is falling down. She doesn’t sit down because Hannah supports her, the ladies all asking if she got hurt.

“What happened?” Hannah whispers as staff comes up on the stage.

“I fell,” Carolina mutters. She is upset. “It hurts so much.”

Hannah doesn’t step aside when the staff comes to help Carolina; instead she walks with her member to the side of the stage where Manager Lim is waiting to help her go down. Four of the ladies stay on the stage while the staff helps Carolina come down on the side, the ladies leaning forward to find out what is going on while Carolina gets to sit on a chair, point out to her foot. There is a law to have medical team at the concert, in case something would happen, and they are with Carolina on the side, pressing ice so she gives out a whine. Hannah pouts. It is rare to have Carolina be in pain, the girl who is the group’s mascot and sun, always so bright.

“You have to continue without Carolina,” Manager Lim informs the ladies within seconds, standing close to them, “apologize to the fans and cheerfully ask if it is okay to continue with four members. We need to continue the concert.”

Hannah is still leaning over the side, asking if it is serious while Emelia gives a nod to the manager and is the first member to step back to the middle while explaining in Japanese to the audience.

“She will go to the hospital for an x-ray on the foot,” Manager Lim answers and waves for Hannah to go back. Maria grabs Hannah’s arm to go back where Emelia is saying they will continue from [Let me love], though this time without Carolina.

Hannah looks confused when they take their positions, worried over Carolina. Her spot is empty…

“No one takes Carolina’s parts,” Maria whispers to the members before the song will begin, “just focus on your own parts, pretend she is still here.”

How can she do that when there is no one there?

The music begins and the girls start to dance. Hannah is confused. She has never danced on stage with 5 Pieces, without Carolina before. She keeps glancing on the sides when she isn’t the one singing, forgetting her position at one time because there is no one there to let her know where she is standing.

But they do surprisingly well. It is easy to notice that the girls are worried about their friend, not knowing anything else but that Carolina is at this moment going to the hospital. They finish the song, and Hannah gives a sigh in relief to Maria when the stage goes dark. They have done one song with four members, and she is happy for that, but then the next song begins and she gets confused all over again with what to do.

This song is Korean; [Diamond]. It begins with Carolina’s part *They say no, no, no, it is a no – Again you say no, no, no, no, no* and to Hannah’s surprise, all five ladies starts to do that part. She laughs at it, only singing the first half of it her self before she excitedly calls out to the audience in Japanese if they will help to fill out Carolina’s parts for the songs they know.

It is really weird to not have Carolina’s super bright face and voice and presence on the stage and Hannah can not stop looking over her shoulder, as if she expects her friend to be there. It is so weird! But the audience is just amazing. They seem to know the song and the lyrics, even if it is in Korean. They sing along to Carolina’s parts in first [Diamond], then [Original] that also is in Korean and finally also [Moon Child] in Japanese before 5 Pieces get off the stage.

After changing clothes for the Girl Crush, the girls are all backstage listening to the information about Carolina when heading back to the stage for the final act. Manager Song went with Carolina, as he can speak both Korean and Japanese, and he will text message Manager Lim when he knows something. So for now, 5 Pieces with four members continues with their cute song [I Love You]. The audience is doing great and Hannah even reaches out her microphone for them to sing during Carolina’s parts. They perform [No Matter What] too, which is mostly Emelia and Carolina, so for that part the ladies are all taking Carolina’s parts along with the audience, but they are all moving around and having fun. Hannah must do extra well now when the sun of the group isn’t present, so she is extra cute at the end now. She hasn’t forgotten the rest of the concert earlier, so she keeps bowing too.

And it is the final talk.

“Can you believe the concert is coming to an end?” Hannah asks the audience and her members while catching her breath.

The audience is disagreeing. Hannah glances over to the main stage at the side when fixing her ear-piece. She is told through the ear-piece what to inform the audience.

“Um… Carolina is now at the hospital; she is alright but she hurt her foot while we were dancing earlier, and sadly, she won’t come back on stage tonight. She would want us to thank all of you for tonight, and especially for filling out her empty place here on the stage – you did really well.”

The audience sounds sad to hear that Carolina won’t come back tonight, but they get happy to hear they helped out. Hannah looks at her members, wanting someone else to talk. Maria takes the word, starting to talk about the usual to thank the audience so much for coming tonight and sharing this moment with them, and for being a great audience. Hannah gives a bow by herself while the members keep talking.

 

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The concert has ended, but 5 Pieces is far from heading to the hotel to sleep. Carolina isn’t here, and the ladies are sitting with the producers and choreographers and staff who have helped out with the concert. Hannah is still sweating from the concert, sitting with a towel to wipe away the sweat from her neck and forehead from time to time, listening seriously at what is being said in both Korean and Japanese – most things are just translated for everyone to understand, but she keeps listening anyway as she doesn’t want to miss something.

“With Carolina’s sprained ankle, she won’t be able to finish this tour. We have tomorrow here in Nagoya left as well as the three in Tokyo at the end of the week. And for tomorrow, we need to fill out Carolina’s spot. She won’t be able to be here at all, not even sit on the stage and sing,” Hannah hears them say.

She feels sad. They have four concerts left of this tour, and though it is four concerts they have a schedule to do each single day. Carolina is sleeping at the hospital over the night, and then she will go to their apartment in Tokyo with a manager (the other ladies are either way going back to Tokyo after tomorrow’s concert). According to what is being said now, 5 Pieces will not promote with Carolina for the rest of this week, and it is just Tuesday.

For the urgent meeting at this late hour, they are trying to come up with how to do without Carolina. For some songs, like they did at the ending today, it seemed great to have 5 Pieces reach out the microphone to the audience to let them take Carolina’s parts. It was really good; Hannah smiles just by the memory. The audience seemed excited to get to be part of the singing at the ending and the producer and staff seems to agree on that it is a special moment for them if they do that to the end. For other parts, 5 Pieces will have to practice at tomorrow’s rehearsals to fill out Carolina’s parts and they sort out a few things before deciding to go to the hotel, sleep and come back early tomorrow for the rehearsals and practices.

On the way to the hotel, the four ladies are all sending texts to Carolina, so whenever Carolina sees it she will be happy. Hannah is almost lying down in the van at the back, Julia sitting on the other seat with the middle seat empty beside from their bags.

“I’m really angry at Carolina,” Maria suddenly says. “Hannah got in a better mood halfway – which I am upset over you too, baby – and then when I thought the world is complete, Carolina got hurt! How dare she get hurt?! If she wasn’t already in pain I would kick her for leaving the stage!”

It could be easy to misunderstand Maria who sounds really angry, but the others in the van all know that Maria is really sad and upset when one of the members is either in pain or is feeling bad, or like now when Carolina won’t be able to perform with them she thinks it makes them miss a piece of them on the stage. 5 Pieces lives to be on the stage, not to do interviews and photo shoots, but to be on stage and perform. It is sad that one member can’t be with them.

“I’m hungry,” Hannah whispers to Julia.

“We got grapes in the fridge,” Julia reminds her and Hannah thinks of eating it up before going to bed.

Hannah and Julia are roommates now in Nagoya. It is actually like finding your old friend when they share room at hotel like this, since the two of them shared room in Korea for three years. Julia is used to all Hannah’s habits and vice versa, which makes the two of them feel surprisingly extremely good sharing hotel room.

Though Hannah couldn’t stop thinking of the grapes in the fridge at the hotel room when heading there, once she reached the hotel and washed up, she ended going straight to bed to sleep.

 

Six hours of sleep (six hours lying in bed anyway, as Hannah wasn’t sleeping all the time) later; the ladies are heading back to the arena for their second and last day in Nagoya.

Will today be different? Will Hannah do better and how will they perform without Carolina? Hannah asks herself so many questions like she always does. She thinks Carolina has a very important role in their group, as she is the sun standing in the middle. She makes the whole group shine by just smiling because her position is to stand in the middle of their formation. Today, Hannah’s biggest worry is Carolina’s absence. She writes a text message to her friend, saying the day hasn’t even started but she feels her absence already. She writes it in Swedish, as she doesn’t know the word ‘absence’ in Korean.

“Good morning,” Hannah greets the dancers with a friendly yet tired morning smile. The dancers are in the corridor nearby the stage, stretching or arriving.

“Good morning, Hannah,” a few of them greets her back with words while others give either a bow or a hand up in the air.

Suddenly she is very sad knowing they only have Tokyo after today. And then, their fun will be over. And Carolina won’t be there!

Hannah still greets everyone before entering the backstage room where she lies down on the sofa, lying with her head on the soft kitten Ace who is lying there. Ace doesn’t move an inch when she does that, and Hannah keeps hugging her cheek on the soft fur of Ace. It is quiet in the room, low voices talking and outside it is more voices but it seems far away. Hannah looks at Maria who is sitting on a chair, one foot up on the chair she is sitting on with her skinny legs while being busy talking to the stylist about a necklace she would want to wear on her solo stage. Maria always looks so comfortable, today wearing a pair of floral-patterned skinny pants and a big white t-shirt. Hannah is simply wearing a tank top under a loose t-shirt, wearing a long cardigan over it and a pair of leggings to the sneakers. It is comfortable and an outfit fitting for the rehearsals.

She is lying on her stomach in the sofa, her feet hanging a little out on the side to not have them on the seat. Ace seems to be sleeping under her head.

When Emelia comes inside the room, a camera for their concert DVD follows her. They filmed yesterday too, ‘day one-’ and ‘day two in Nagoya’ for the DVD, and they even filmed when Carolina got hurt. They were told to not film Hannah much yesterday because of what has happened, it is not the sight anyone wants the fans to see of Hannah. Today, everything seems to be better for her. Hannah has either way bigger things to worry about.

“Everyone’s here?” Manager Lee asks when stepping inside after Emelia.

Julia has been sitting on another chair at the end of the sofa above Hannah’s head, busy texting or playing games on her cell phone. Maria rests her chin on her shoulder to look at him, all of them knowing they should listen to him.

“I got the notes for the change of the program here. You will have to split up Carolina’s parts for most songs, but we will do as we said before at the end of the show,” Manager Lee is informing the ladies.

Hannah is pouting, with one hand patting Ace on his back so he is nicely making a sound under her head. They have to make changes now when there isn’t a person who sings some parts of the songs. The ladies goes through the songs while sitting in that room, with their managers and choreographer they sort out who will sing what parts for some songs. Of course it can be changes once they are practicing on the stage. Hannah doesn’t sit up or move her head away from Ace while looking through the papers. She got a lot of parts in their Japanese songs, so she isn’t given much new in that beside from a ballad and their [For a Lifetime] OST song they sing in the beginning.

“I’m still angry at her,” Maria randomly points at their manager. “You tell her that.”

“Because if Maria meets her, she won’t be angry anymore so she can’t say it herself,” Emelia teases.

Maria responses by throwing a pen her direction and Emelia smiles because that pen flies two meters away from her, far from hitting her. Hannah hides her face in Ace, the kitten rolling on his back to put his front paws in her hair, playing with it so she giggles when hearing him trying to bite her hair. She lifts her head, holding on to the end of her hair to let him play with it, getting just a little distracted so she doesn’t listen to the others talking. Not that she mind, she likes to be distracted by their pets.

 

“What do you say about running in the morning?”

Hannah answers with a groan to dancer Junichi when he jogs past her in the corridor. Everyone is heading to the rehearsal, and some of the dancers start to jog to the stage. Hannah pouts when Junichi turns around, jogging backwards.

“I didn’t know you were this lazy in the mornings,” he jokes with her.

“I caught you sleeping two hours yesterday, Junichi, in the middle of the day. I’m not the lazy one here,” Hannah talks back at him. He shrugs his shoulders and turns around, jogging extremely slowly. Hannah smiles and starts running the quietest she can down the corridor, and when Junichi starts to turn around she is already next to him, running by, and she starts to run the fastest she can instead when he gives a laugh and starts to run too. Two of the other dancers in front of them start to run as well when hearing them come from behind and it is a race to the stage. Hannah laughs when Junichi runs by her, but she runs by one of the other boys and then laughs even more when one of the female dancers even further away blocks her way so Hannah runs in her. The two girls’ laughs even more when they are pushed aside for those coming behind, running to the stage. Hannah takes Hitomo’s arm to run with her too.

Brightly they run up on the stage – Hannah actually stumbles on the stairs without falling, but at least she can laugh with the others at it – and Hannah lies down on the stage next to where Emelia is sitting with a guitar, playing with the band a little lightly. Emelia playfully touches Hannah’s arm with her foot and Hannah just giggles. She lays still there, her body still asleep from yesterday.

“Everyone’s favourite is here!” Maria makes her entrance on the stage, the only member prepared with a microphone. She rushes over the stage when seeing Hannah lying down and she jumps to sit on top of Hannah who starts to scream.

“MARIA! GET OFF!”

“Who is the favourite? Who is the favourite?” Maria is having a blast teasing the girl, making everyone laugh and Maria is laughing loudly.

Once Maria gets off Hannah, the youngest leans after her to hit her with her hands waving after the leader who stumbles away with a laugh, and they are all still laughing this early in the morning. Hannah later apologizes to the staff when the rehearsing is beginning, saying that everyone is still tired this early in the morning. She waves to a camera filming below the stage, giving a bow too before heading to start rehearsing.

 

Hannah is sitting with a small plastic bag of grapes in her lap, sitting tailor in the sofa without shoes and puppy Ryo is sitting nicely next to her in the sofa, all his attention put on her hand when it goes empty in the bag and then comes up with a grape that she puts in . His tail is moving in hope to get one. Hannah, on the other hand, just smiles when a camera-man comes inside the backstage room, walking straight up to her. Julia is sitting at the other end of the sofa with her eyes closed, resting a little bit.

“Grapes are delicious,” Hannah comments in Japanese, smiling innocently up at the camera-man when putting another green grape in .

“Is this your lunch?” he asks, as you never know what idols eat.

She shakes her head, finishing chewing before answering. “This is … um … snacks. You can’t eat grapes to lunch; that is just weird. But it is my snack. I bought it myself, so I won’t share with anyone.”

The camera-man films the puppy sitting next to her, wanting to try one and Hannah laughs, as she really didn’t think of Ryo sitting there. She thinks she is a great actress after all, as she in fact still isn’t feeling good with everything going on.

“He doesn’t count,” Hannah laughs, placing a hand on the puppy who right away gets excited, still looking at the grapes. “Ryo doesn’t like grapes, he has tried before, but whenever he knows there is food, he is next to you.”

Ryo does eat grapes; he just spits them out after a while. Ace like grapes, but he isn’t the one wanting it now. It is strange how the puppies never learn what they don’t like about food. Hannah continues to eat, glancing at Ryo who lies down at her command, resting his head on her leg and eyes keeps going up and down from the grapes in her lap to her face. Hannah like Ryo because he listens the best to her among their pets, and she likes that he listens more to her than the other ladies. Maybe it could be because she keeps teaching and practicing him.

Manager Lim comes inside the room, walking behind the camera-man. Hannah keeps her eyes on the manager though, smiling a little. She is happy he is here, though he can’t speak Japanese. Yesterday he got angry at one in the band for speaking Japanese for him, and he just kept speaking Japanese to the manager who repeated that he can’t understand.

“Ten minutes until the break is over,” he informs Hannah and Julia while looking through Maria’s bag – probably to get her something.

Hannah nods, continuing to eat in silence. She keeps smiling at their manager, glancing at the camera-man who is still filming her, and it looks like she has done something nasty and she is waiting for the reaction or for someone to notice it. It is just that she hasn’t done anything; she is just eating her grapes and waiting for the rehearsal to continue.

“It seems to go well even if Carolina isn’t here,” the camera-man then says to Hannah, speaking Japanese of course.

“You think so?” Hannah asks. She is in a good mood though, so she doesn’t sound like she is disagreeing with him though she isn’t sure if she has the same thought about it. “I guess it goes better than what we expected, because … it is really strange to rehearse without her. But I mean, the staff is really great and everyone is helping out with ideas to try cover for her. We know our fans will notice that she isn’t with us, but we must still do our best to not disappoint the fans tonight.”

“You think you will do well tonight?”

Hannah grimaces this time, resting a grape on her lips with her fingers holding it there. “It’s too early to answer on that.”

“I will ask you again in a few hours then,” the camera-man tells her and Hannah smiles, nodding.

 

Though Carolina doesn’t participate in the concert, it goes surprisingly well. Hannah notices that everyone on the stage is aware of her absence, and they try even harder to make the audience not think about it. Maria forgets to sing Carolina’s parts a few times during the concert, but no one seems to really notice half of the mistakes. It goes well, they admit that, and the audience is so damn supportive that Maria uploads a picture of the ladies on Instagram at the empty arena after the concert, everyone looking tired and she tells Hannah to write in Japanese, thanking the Nagoya fans for a great concert though all pieces couldn’t attend.

 

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Headline 23rd: 5 Pieces’ Carolina Brought To Hospital In Middle Of Nagoya Concert!

Headline 23rd: 5 Pieces Assures Fans At The End Of Concert That Carolina Is Alright

 

Headline 24th: Video Of Emelia Talking About Hannah & Jonghyun From Yesterday’s Concert Get Popular Online

Headline 24th: 5 Pieces Will Continue Their Schedule In Japan Though Carolina’s Injury

Headline 24th: Carolina Doesn’t Join 5 Pieces At Second-Day In Nagoya

Headline 24th: Fan War Continues Between Shawol & Puzzle Over The Idol Couple

Headline 24th: SM Entertainment Announces Carolina Won’t Participate In 5 Pieces’ Schedules At The Moment

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X. devonalias

 

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Comments

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SuperShannon
#1
Could you upload these storys from winglin.net to here please!!
WarQueen
#2
Chapter 10: lol! This is so cute! I looove criminal minds <3
thehunniex
#3
Seems like a fic I would read.
Lemme grab my popcorn. :D
illlusionist #4
I almost believed the existence of this group.I love your style of writing. Looking out for more updates!!

With thanks and regards
illlusionist
arescom #5
seems nice.