“Have you talked to her?”

Manager Lim enters the apartment after being called in this early morning, changing his shoes into slippers when heading inside with Emelia. He was supposed to begin working a little later today, but for an emergency he came as soon as he could.

“Good morning,” the manager greets the staff filming for Life of Pieces inside the apartment this morning. Everything will be filmed on the chosen days but things can be sorted out to what will air and what will not. The manager just greets them before he heads upstairs, being led by Emelia to the middle of upstairs where the only closed door is the one to Hannah’s bedroom.

“She has turned off her cell phone and she is just crying in there,” Emelia sighs when showing him the closed door. “It’s been going on all morning.”

Manager Lim nods and quietly leans against the door, giving it a knock. He can hear sobbing from in there. “Hannah? Can I come in?” he asks as fatherly as he can, but the sobbing continues and Emelia tells him the door is locked. He gives another knock.

“Leave me alone!” a cry comes from the inside.

Maria comes out from the bathroom with a toothbrush in , heading to her bedroom.

“She won’t open, Appa, we have tried. Just let her calm down and try again later,” the leader gives her advice before disappearing inside her bedroom to check her cell phone. Manager Lim looks troubled while Emelia tells him that the leader for once has a point on this, but he can’t really see it the same way.

“It’s not the first time her family has disappointed her,” Emelia whispers to him and she shrugs her shoulders when Manager Lim glares at her. “What? It’s true.”

“It is rude to talk like that, especially since she is your friend,” he tells her and touches her shoulder to tell her to leave. When he is left alone, he knocks on the door again, quietly talking to Hannah; “Lady, it’s just me, can I come inside?”

“No.”

“Could we talk about this at least?”

No answer.

He sighs, glancing around in wonder what to do. Emelia had called him to ask what they should do if Hannah doesn’t want to step out of her bedroom today, and when he wondered why she wouldn’t want to do that, she told him to check online. His question was where online, and she said “anywhere”. All over internet, if you search for 5 Pieces or just the latest gossip, the same thing will pop up; Hannah is a fake, Hannah lies, Hannah hates her family, Hannah is ashamed of her family and Sweden… It is endless. The baby of their group has been in her room crying all morning, locking herself away from everyone else because of the horrible things written online.

“Hannah, if you don’t open the door I’m going to remove it,” Manager Lim warns when he knocks another time. “Open the door for me.”

“What do you want?” Hannah asks in a low voice.

Her manager closes his eyes when hearing how ruined her voice is from crying. “I just want to talk to you.”

“Then talk from there.”

“Hannah…”

“I’m not going to open the door! Leave me alone!”

The bedroom is in darkness, under the door a narrow slit of light comes from outside and Manager Lim’s feet are visible in a shadow. Lying on her stomach in the bed is the blonde haired girl, hiding tightly under the quilt and facing the wall with her crying. It doesn’t want to stop. She just can’t stop crying, and she doesn’t get up from bed even if she needs to use the bathroom; she has no strength in her body to do anything else but cry.

Those feet outside her room disappear when Manager Lim walks downstairs and beside from Hannah’s crying it gets quiet on the second floor as Maria had gone downstairs as well. Everyone is eating breakfast and doing their usual morning routines, while quietly talking about what everyone else is talking about.

“She hasn’t talked to anyone of you?” Manager Lim asks when Julia gives him a cup of coffee; the girls who are preparing breakfast or already sitting around the kitchen table are nodding their heads. They had been doubtful to have this being filmed, but the agency has a contract to film on the chosen days and have anything filmed, though if things are too personal or unsuitable it won’t air on the reality show.

“Hannah just says she wants to be alone,” Julia answers and takes a seat as well with her own cup of coffee. Carolina is quietly reading the newspaper, not eating breakfast or wanting to join in on the subject.

“I’ll go try talk to her again,” Maria mumbles and gets up from her seat, leaving her breakfast half-eaten to go back up to stand outside Hannah’s bedroom with Ace in her arms, knocking on that door to say in her warmest, friendly voice through the door; “Hannah baby, it’s Maria. Ace is here too.”

She doesn’t say anything about the cameras.

“Talk to us,” Maria tries.

It is no response from the other side at first, but Maria keeps waiting quietly. Only once she reminds Hannah that she is waiting, no hurry, and then she hears movements from the other side. The door is unlocked, but no one opens it, and Maria quietly opens it, finding Hannah lying in her bed again after she had gone to unlock the door. She is hiding under the quilt, only a part of her blonde hair visible, facing the wall like she has been lying all morning and Maria steps inside without turning on the lamp but letting the door stay open for the light out there to shine in on the room where she takes a seat on the bed, hugging Ace in her arms. She doesn’t say anything at first, at first making sure she is sitting comfortably with one leg on the bed, looking at the one hiding herself.

“How are you feeling, baby?” Maria asks in a low voice.

“Sick.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Hannah sounds angry and upset, keeping her answers short and low and Maria isn’t sure if she knows there are cameras present. The camera-staff know their limit; they are staying outside the bedroom. With a loud sigh, Hannah turns around in the bed to lie on the side, her back against the wall and a pout that only Maria can see in the tearful face. She looks to have gotten ten years younger with those tears, and it hurts Maria to see it, almost making the leader want to cry as well.

“I can’t believe she spoke to the media to get money. That was all she wanted; money,” Hannah starts to let it out, angry at her sister and she cries as she can’t believe something like this has happened. “She talked to the media for money!”

“I know…”

“How can my own sister do that? And she was lying! What’s wrong with her?!”

Maria is looking sad at the youngest. She can’t understand how Hannah’s own flesh and blood can do such a thing. Most of the things Julie told the media was a lie, or turned over or whatever but whatever she said, it’s wrong. All of it is just wrong. And fans believe it; saying Hannah is the one lying and she is a fraud and that she is embarrassed for her family… Maria turns to look by the door when hearing someone there while Hannah turns back around to face the wall, hiding herself anew when Manager Lim comes inside; he switches on the lamp in the ceiling.

“We have to go soon,” he tells the girls quietly. “Hannah…”

“I’m not going.”

Maria sighs, shaking her head at Manager Lim when he comes in closer to the bed but he doesn’t listen to her warning. “Hannah, you can’t decide to cry about this all day; we have things to do today, so get up.”

“I’m staying.”

“Appa,” Maria shakes her head at him again. He looks stricter at her warning.

“Hannah,” he says, glancing at Emelia who comes by the door too, but he looks back at the quilt Hannah is hiding under. “I understand it is hard, and we all feel for you, but now we really need to get going.”

“I’m not going.”

“Hannah-”

“Appa,” Emelia cuts him off, hearing his voice getting upset at the youngest and when the manager turns around, it is now Emelia who is shaking her head at him to stop. “Let me take care of it,” she suggests.

Manager Lim tells them when they have to leave when he steps out of the room, waving for Maria to bring Ace with her when she follows, leaving Emelia behind for her to get inside the room. Hannah is crying again, trying to hide it but Emelia always knows when the youngest is crying. One camera-woman is still outside the room, trying to sneakily film them even if both girls are aware of its presence. Emelia lies down on her back in the bed, on top of the quilt next to Hannah, just lying down comfortably there.

“You never told me she called you the other day,” Emelia starts to talk, as if she is talking about anything.

“She wanted money. I didn’t give her any.”

“I understand.”

Hannah turns her head to glare at her. “I don’t need or want understanding; I want everything to disappear,” she mutters, a little surprised though to see Emelia lie so close to her. Emelia moves her head to look at her, even if Hannah turns her head away to face the wall anew.

“For that part, I do understand. But nothing will disappear,” Emelia is saying in her calming voice. She looks surprisingly calm lying there, talking as if she has all the time in the world and having the face-expression as if nothing in the world can budge her. Emelia looks up at the ceiling again. “Julie doesn’t know media the way we do; she wanted money and she was desperate, and she probably got more money the juicier her story was. But she said what she said, and the reaction is what it is. It can’t stop us, though, right?”

“I can’t show myself after what she said.”

“Why not?”

“People say I am embarrassed for my family, that I am the one who cut off all connection with them and they talk about me as if they know everything, but everything they know isn’t true,” Hannah is whining against the pillow. “I don’t want to do anything.”

“But we are performing with Julia today; you want to do that, right?” Emelia tries to loosen up the mood a little.

But Hannah shakes her head against the pillow. Maria is standing by the door again; she can’t just leave the youngest alone. “Baby, if you want, we can call your sister and talk to her…”

“It’s not her I care about,” Hannah whines. “Sure, she lies to get money and I am furious about it, and she lies about me because she knows that will give her money. But I don’t care if she is sick; it’s our fans. They believe her.”

Hannah can remember the comments from the articles she had seen this morning, one worse than the other. She is hated by everyone now, even her dearest fans. Her sister has a bad past with drugs and a lot of things, Hannah was even scared of her for a few years, but the two of them never had a specific sisterly relationship to begin with and with the drugs being involved Julie became like an outcast in their own family, and though it is her own blood, Hannah wouldn’t expect anything better. She is furious that her own family would go as low as her sister now has gone, but she is the most upset over the reaction her fans has given her. Five years together and they think she is a fraud?

“You want me to talk to her then?” Emelia continues to try lightening the mood but Hannah ignores the question, just hiding in her pillow.

“I don’t want to go anywhere,” she whines.

“We have to,” Emelia says. “We are performing with Julia today, remember? We can’t make the whole group lie in bed and cry with you, right? Let’s get out and scream it out instead. Sweat it off, do what we can do, do it the best way. Hannah, your sister did what she did, we all hate it with you, and we will not ask more of you than to be with us and do the performance. How you do it, it’s up to you; all we need is our Hannah.”

The calm rapper have her moments and she smiles at the youngest when Hannah turns her head around to look at her, wiping her tears like a child. Hannah hugs the pillow with her face, still crying and she hides the rest of her face behind her hand when trying to wipe the tears. Maria leaves the room, satisfied at the moment and Emelia sits up in the bed, patting Hannah on the leg.

“Hurry up.”

Hannah looks after Emelia when she leaves the room, closing the door after her to leave the youngest on her own. Hannah does feel sick. Her stomach is taking turns and her eyes are swollen, and she still can’t really stop crying. She makes the attempt to wipe the tears again when crawling up under the quilt, sitting up under it and wipes her tears over and over again. Her face is all wet from crying and she doesn’t want to stop. Yes, she doesn’t want to stop crying, it feels like she has to cry; let it all out.

Angry, she gets out of bed, feeling helpless and hopeless and irritated and she talks for herself when getting ready a little quick. Her sister said her name isn’t Hannah but Charlie. Why would she say that? Fans somehow know that Emelia calls Hannah for Charlie at times, and even in her profile it says Charlie on nicknames. Hannah isn’t so upset at fans believing that; it is a name. But to have her sister even bring it up…

She hides herself under a dark blue big denim zip jacket, one thing her stylist was not allowed to throw away when they cleared their wardrobes.

“She has not even once called me Charlie,” Hannah is quietly whining when getting inside the elevator with Maria and Manager Lim – the others went downstairs already – and cameras too. “Why would she say that’s my name?”

“Maybe she is confused,” Maria says quietly, not sure if she should say anything at all. She wants Hannah to talk about it, to let it out instead of locking it in. If Hannah closes down, it never ends well.

Hannah looks furious when glaring at the wall. She has a red cap to hide her face when they will go outside and the jacket covers her hands. Today, all she has is the cell phone in her pocket along with earphones, no bag or anything, just her cell phone that she has turned off to be left alone.

“Am I allowed to hate my own sister?”

Maria looks shocked at the low voice question coming from Hannah. She doesn’t even know if the youngest realise she asked the question out for everyone to hear, but once again the leader wants to cry for the youngest. To have your own family turn against you is something she could never imagine happen to herself. Maria’s relationship with her family is completely different from Hannah’s; Maria still remembers each time she tried to hug Hannah just a few years ago, and Hannah would get all stiff. Even these days there are times when Hannah twitches at skin contact. She grew up not being used to it. Before the leader can react on the question, Manager Lim has stepped over to the youngest, and like the father figure he is for the group he puts his arms around Hannah.

The girl hugs him right away back, surprising Maria who is fighting even harder to not start crying. Hannah has stopped crying. She feels stuffed from top to toe, as if her body is filled with tears and emotions that can’t get out. The moment she left her bedroom it started, and she just hugs her manager, not crying or giving out a sound or even changing her face-expression. None of them can understand how she is feeling, and she doesn’t want them to understand either. It is her family that is sick, that always manages to make her somehow feels bad; all the negativity she has worked hard to get rid of will never completely leave her because she grew up with it. In her family, the opposite of being negative is being a dreamer. And being a dreamer in her family is still something negative so you never really get rid of it. Hannah became a dreamer; she became the worst person they could think of. But her older sister was still never part of it. Julie was always on the other side, getting to do what she wanted as the oldest child, four years older than Hannah and her twin. Julie would get to hang out with friends while the rest of the family went to their stepfather’s mother to visit all the time and she moved out early too because of her drug issues.

And she says Hannah has changed her attitude? Hannah has only gotten stronger since she left home; she has grown in a way she never thought was possible. She has the most amazing life with her best friends, she even has a boyfriend! She has even managed to loose weight, having people say she has a nice body. Would her family ever think that would happen? They only make her angry and irritated, and Hannah is glaring out the window the whole ride to the saloon, not even noticing how the others are glancing at her. Julia is sitting next to her because Carolina didn’t dare to; Carolina doesn’t know how to response when someone is angry or hurt and she had quietly asked Julia to change seat with her while waiting for them to come downstairs. Hannah turned her cell phone on when starting to listen to music during the ride, ignoring the text messages she has gotten, and once the car stops she turns it off again.

At the saloon, Hannah hides in the bathroom at first when waiting for her turn to get her transformation. She sits down on the toilet and hides her face, crying again. She is so angry at her sister but she can’t stop crying.

A knock on the door makes her hold her breath, just getting quiet right away.

“Open the door,” Emelia whispers on the other side, and Hannah starts to breathe again when knowing who it is. She barely leaves the toilet seat to open the door, letting Emelia inside before hiding her face in her hands again because the tears doesn’t want to stop this time either. She can hear Emelia giving a sigh before the friend sits down on her heels in front of Hannah, placing her hands on Hannah’s knees. “Why have you turned off your cell phone?”

Hannah wants to roll her eyes at the question, but she doesn’t have the energy for it. “I don’t want to talk to anyone,” she cries quietly behind her hands.

“So instead you let Jonghyun call the rest of us hundred of times to try contact you?” Emelia whispers to her, not having a specific tone that she usually has. This is just … the calm Emelia, the friend Hannah considers her best.

“I don’t want to talk to him.”

“Then talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

Emelia makes a face at the negative answers. This is Hannah shutting down. “You want me to talk to him?” she tries.

“Why does anyone have to talk to him?” Hannah fires up; sitting straight now so Emelia can see her face. “It’s not like it’s his family that is lying to the media, right? Or his family that says he is the reason the family is all messed up.”

“No one ever said your family is messed up, Hannah.”

“Well they think about it,” she growls angrily, not looking at Emelia but she is burning out of anger and mixed emotions. “Everyone is probably thinking about it, even talking behind my back. I have heard it, Emelia, people asking why I’m the only member in 5 Pieces not close to my family. Why does everyone have to know everything? Can’t we just live our own lives and not give a damn about the rest?”

“Hannah…”

“Stop saying my name all the time!” she screams out at her before she is covering herself again but this time lowering her head to her knees and covering her ears with her hands, crying and freaking out. When Emelia doesn’t touch her or say anything, Hannah just cries. She wants to lie back in her bed, lock herself in and not hear anything, not talk or see anyone and just pretend she doesn’t exist. Can’t she do that?

She knows Emelia is still sitting on her heels in front of her, knowing her friend isn’t going to leave her. Hannah doesn’t stop crying, but she loosens the hands over her ears, lifting her upper body up a little to be able to breathe easier.

“I just … I don’t get it why she had to lie,” Hannah cries in a whisper. “I don’t… It’s just… I don’t want this to continue. I don’t want to fight with my family because of the past and I don’t want to be afraid of my life … I don’t want things to feel like this.”

“We’ll handle it,” Emelia whispers to her, “We always do, somehow.”

Hannah breathes out, continuing to cry endlessly. “Did you know that … I haven’t seen Julie in three years? Ha… She called me the other day, and I recognized her voice right away.” She cries more by the memory of that morning when Julie had called her. How bad she felt to hear her sister’s voice after three years, and be asked for money. “She has never called me before. Not once in my whole life; not once has she called…”

Emelia is resting her hands on Hannah’s knees again, keeping her balance as she is still sitting on her heels. Emelia has known Hannah the longest, for over 12 years, and she knows that Hannah has never been close to her oldest sister; Emelia isn’t even sure Hannah had her sister’s cell phone number before they went to Korea. They just were too different from each other. Hannah has never said she regret not being closer to her sister, the same thing goes for her father who she hasn’t seen in many years, but Emelia still knows that they are a family in their own way. She doesn’t pity or feel bad for Hannah the way Maria does; Emelia accepts the differences of their families, but she can’t accept the treatment the youngest is receiving now.

“I know that we aren’t related by blood here in Korea,” Emelia whispers to her, “but we are a family too. Maybe not the way people can need, but we are what we have, and right now you have a family worrying about you because everyone in your family knows the truth about the articles and we are going to stand by your side through it. If you want to cry, we’ll let you lean on our shoulder, and if you want to scream, we will give you the space to scream. But I won’t leave you alone, Hannah. I have done it before and I won’t do it again. We are in this together, if Julie wants to lie to the media, fine, she has done that; but Hannah, don’t let her get through your skin.”

Hannah sighs with her head on the side, feeling helpless. “It’s not Julie who has gotten inside my skin,” she whispers, not even aware of that they are speaking Swedish. “Did you see the comments?”

“Those aren’t fans. They are trolls and antis and idiots. If you want to know the reaction of our fans; stop crying, put on the mask of 5 Pieces’ Hannah and let’s get to Music Bank. That is where our fans will be waiting.”

“I can’t help but to feel a little better though,” Hannah mumbles with a pout at her lap, on her nails.

“How so?” Emelia wonders and the corner of Hannah’s mouth twitches.

“I got you guys,” she whispers.

Emelia smiles at her before she stands up. “Those words will be printed in my memory for all my life, Hannah,” Emelia happily says, lightly touching Hannah’s arm. “It’s the second time today I ask you to get ready to step outside; let it be the last.”

Hannah is still looking like a mess when she is getting her hair and make-up done. The stylists are quiet though, not saying a thing to her or commenting on her swollen eyes, pale skin or runny nose. Hannah is quiet too, just sitting there and listening to music to not overanalyse her surrounding. Still she knows she is being watched the whole time; if it isn’t one of the ladies, it is her manager, always someone keeping an eye on her – which was why Emelia knew when Hannah had gone to the bathroom, and when she had been there for too long.

Not until they are back in the car again, heading to Music Bank, Hannah is interrupted in her music by Maria turning around in her seat. Hannah takes out an earphone when seeing the annoyed face of the leader looking at her.

“Please take it,” Maria sighs, handing her cell phone to Hannah, “he won’t stop until you talk to him.”

Hannah glances at Emelia, who is glancing back before Hannah takes the cell phone to place it by her ear, pressing pause on her own music. She keeps looking at Maria in silence until the leader has turned around and the youngest gives out a sound when looking out the window, shutting out the rest of the sound from the car beside from the sound coming from the cell phone. Outside, it is raining, just like it feels inside Hannah’s body. She is raining tears, on the inside now.

“Hi… All of your ladies say you don’t want to talk to me,” Jonghyun says in a clearly disappointment in his voice.

“I don’t want to talk to anyone,” she mumbles, but she does feel bad for not even texting him. She presses her finger on the window. Though it is hot outside, the rain makes the windows cold, her fingers get cold touching it but she holds her finger there, staring at it while being on the phone.

“Not even me?” he teases on the phone but Hannah is not amused.

“I’m not in the mood for jokes,” she whispers, trying to not sound too cold to him but she really isn’t in the mood to have him try to cheer her up.

“You want me to try come over something? I’m sure I can figure something out that will put you in a better mood.”

“You’re in Japan…”

“There is this amazing place called airport, where they have airplanes – it looks like birds, and they can fly too, very cool – that makes it not that long for me to come back and forth quickly-”

“I’m fine, Jonghyun,” Hannah mutters, “I’m just tired; you don’t have to check up on me.”

“I don’t know what else to do,” Jonghyun whispers, “you’re my girlfriend, I want to check up on you and make sure you are alright. It’s difficult when I can’t see you.”

She takes a glance around the van before looking out the window again. “I miss you too…”

It’s the truth. Hannah is just a mess with her emotions at the moment, but she does miss him. She said some bad things earlier when she talked to Emelia, but she is just tired. People say her name as if she is always doing something bad or a mistake, and she is tired of it. It would be a dream if one of them could just take the plane to the other’s country briefly, just so she can hug him. She misses his arms around her, though they met not long ago. Jonghyun distracts her about what is going on, but once their call has ended and the car stops outside Music Bank, she is reminded of who she is and what is going on today. Fans are outside, lining up on the street to spot the idols going from their parked vans inside the KBS building. It is raining but fans are still there.

It is routines. They all know what to do and Hannah pulls on the cap even if she has her hair prepared for the recording. it is a big cap; borrowed from Emelia, so it doesn’t really do much on her hair. Hugging a new blanket tight to her body, Hannah gets out of the van to have Maria reach out her arm for Hannah to link it and together those two walk under one umbrella together. Hannah has her head down low and she is hugging Maria’s arm close to her, still holding the blanket in the other arm while guards are escorting them and fans following on the sides.

Hannah holds her face low when hearing a stranger’s voice call out “Charlie” after them. Maria gets stiff next to her but Hannah is just fastening her steps, she wants to get inside the building, away from everyone; hide herself anywhere and she is bringing Maria with her.

But it doesn’t help. Once they have reached their dressing-room, staff and juniors want to greet 5 Pieces. Hannah is panicking when seeing the glances she gets. The more people she sees the more panicked she gets and when an unknown rookie group steps up to the door to greet, Hannah turns to her manager.

“Please let me go,” she whispers, looking at him with teary eyes. “I can’t do this.”

“Don’t cry,” he tells her quietly, putting his arms around her for a hug, “it will ruin your make-up. If I hold you, can you calm down?”

Hannah nods and closes her eyes, trying to calm down. She doesn’t want to cry now, she tells herself whatever she can to not start crying and she is controlling her breath to not start panic. Hannah hear it when Maria tells the other ladies they will step outside to be greeted, leaving Hannah there to calm down without having any eyes on her.

Manager Lim sighs, patting her on the back while hugging her. “What should we do with you, baby girl?” he asks her in a low voice, comforting her.

“Just hide me,” she whispers for answer.

Though he didn’t expect an answer he smiles at it. “That won’t do. But I’ll see what I can do.”

In fact she would just want to hide in her room for a day or two, just lock herself away from reality, imagine her family was just quietly living their lives and letting her live hers without interfering or contacting her or in any way disturbing her the way they seem to love to do. Hannah calms down eventually, sighing when she has calmed down and getting out of her manager’s arms.

“Thank you,” she quietly tells him. Manager Lim smiles at her and then gives her another hug.

“Anything,” he answers.

Julia has started to promote the second song from her single, [Party Tonight], and for a special performance, the ladies of 5 Pieces will feature in tonight’s stage. They will just make a brief appearance to dance with Julia, nothing else, but to keep her mind busy, Hannah goes through the choreography most of the time backstage before they will go for the rehearsal.

Quietly she go through the rehearsal with her ladies, aware of them being extra sweet to her just because of what is going on, and the staff doesn’t say anything to her either, not even the ones she is used to chat and joke around with. She feels left out, as if a lie has broken into her heart and been replaced with uncertain glances from people around her, both from people she know and from strangers.

Is this what she is living for? People who only thinks about what the outside has to give? Why has everyone changed today? Because they think her name is Charlie or because they think she is a furious teenager with family issues, that she has some kind of bad history or personality that can’t be trusted?

The rehearsal ends and Hannah is once again angry and upset. She wants to go home. She wants to lie down and cry at the world.

“Charlie!”

She turns around so suddenly that her hair flies around, shocked at the sudden voice calling that name inside these walls, but when seeing EXO’s Baekhyun wave at her further away she gets angry again and just walks away. Emelia, who had turned around as well, rolls her eyes and walks over to the boy to tell him off. Baekhyun just looks confused.

Her friends are not new to the name Charlie, but it is bad timing to use it. Hannah has been called it many times during these past five years in Korea, especially by Emelia but also the other ladies have used it from time to time. It isn’t her real name, but it isn’t really her nickname either, it’s her middle name. Her mother used it from time to time, so when Hannah was a child she first thought it was a nickname, only when she got older she found out it was her middle name and she told Emelia that and the rapper like it so at times she uses it as well, which caused people ask where it comes from so Hannah had to explain it and more and more people found it fun to use. But it is still her middle name, not a name that should create headlines on its own.

Instead of heading back to the room, Hannah keeps walking. She walks to the stairs by the windows, taking a seat and turning on her cell phone. She sighs while waiting for it to turn on, putting in her earphones that she kept in her jacket pocket – yes, she had it all on during rehearsal – and when her cell phone is on she puts on music and checks her text messages. Outside the window, one floor down on the street, fans are waiting. If they are waiting to get inside or just to catch a glimpse of an idol, she doesn’t know, but she doesn’t even know that they see her. The rain has stopped for the moment, but it can begin any minute it looks like.

Kyung Ho is making a lot of expressions in his text messages lately, and he has sent her only one now where he says he has read the articles and wonders if she is sad. He is cute, but she doesn’t know what to answer. Through her earphones Kelly Clarkson is singing she is [Stronger] and Hannah isn’t in the mood to be sweet to her younger brother, so instead she just randomly looks around on her phone to try to stay distracted. She puts the song on repeat, liking it.

She is sitting in the stairs, resting her shoulder against the window to not be in the way if someone will walk by. She can hear when someone is coming up behind her and she is prepared to have someone walk by, still listening to her music she doesn’t hear anything because she wants the loudest music on to not hear anything else, but since this stranger doesn’t walk by she glances up a bit.

The stranger sits down next to her and Hannah gives out a scream, only when seeing those clear eyes she is familiar with she reacts by pushing this person away from her and then pulls out the earphones from her ears.

“What are you doing?!” she bursts out, frightened with her heart beating hard against her chest.

“I did say your name several of times, you just didn’t hear me,” EXO’s Kai answers with a laugh, amused by her reaction.

“It is not acceptable,” Hannah warns him with a finger, holding on to her earphones. “Aish! You really freaked me out.”

“But it worked, didn’t it?” Kai smiles while leaning forward on his arms to smile at her confused face-expression. Not until now she reacts on his blonde hair. “You are more relaxed now than what you were before.”

“You’re blonde…” Hannah comments, distracted with her eyes only looking at his hair that she doesn’t react on what he said, “Since when?”

Kai gives her a weird face-expression. “Since yesterday? You texted me after M Countdown about it…”

“Oh…” Hannah doesn’t seem to get it though, but he doesn’t know why, and she won’t tell him that she can’t remember it. “It looks nice. Wait. I am more relaxed?”

“Yeah, you were very strange during rehearsals. And you walked by me before, but you didn’t see me… Now, you are more relaxed.”

“Because you scared me?”

Kai smiles at how Hannah can’t stop being confused at everything he says, so he nods. “Yes.” Kai keeps smiling when seeing her glancing at his hair.

He reminds her of Jonghyun, and Hannah misses her boyfriend even more. She gives a sigh, looking down at her phone. They both looks up when someone is coming up the stairs and Hannah gives a smile to greet SISTAR’s Bora and Hyorin who in the middle of the stair bows to greet her politely back and Kai – as the junior – stands up to bow back to them. Once they have passed by, Kai sits down to keep observing her.

“Baekhyun was scolded by EM,” he mentions.

“What for?” Hannah distantly wonders, not looking up from her phone.

“For calling you Charlie,” he quietly answers, not looking away from her just to see her reaction. Hannah glances up at him, suddenly acting strange again as she just gives a grunt for answer. “Can I ask … if it’s not too personal, why your sister said those things that she said?”

Hannah shrugs her shoulders, obviously not liking the subject but she likes Kai, he always seem interested to know things about her so she glances at him again to see those clear eyes look at her. “My sister can’t think straight. She maybe even believes her own lies, I don’t know… And I don’t care,” she answers coldly, and she sighs again, looking at Kai who has this interested face-expression that he always has when she talks. It’s strange. “My whole family is weird, you can’t even imagine it; so don’t even try to have me explain for you.”

“I like it when you talk about things,” Kai shrugs his shoulder, smirking at her. “It’s weird when you explain, but it is a good kind of weird.”

“Not ‘bad weird’ like my family,” Hannah dryly jokes and gets up on her feet, looking down at Kai. “Are you staying here?”

He smiles up at her, liking her tone. “You want me to walk you back?” he jokes. Hannah grimaces and puts her hand on his head to ruffle his long blonde locks just lightly when she walks up the stairs.

“Maybe you need someone to walk you back,” she jokes with him, continuing to walk and Kai hurries after her to not be left alone.

They both head to the dressing-room where EXO just has arrived, and Hannah quietly greets the boys before she goes back to her own room to be met by worried eyes glancing at her from all over the room. She ignores them and instead pulls back the earphones in her ears before taking a seat to be left alone.

It takes a few seconds before she is interrupted the first time, and Hannah glares up at her manager. She surely is thankful for having them think about her, but it is not fun when they overdo their worry.

“Have you eaten today?” he asks her.

“Yes.”

No. She hasn’t eaten, but she is angry and not in the mood to be asked that question, so she lies to her manager. Hannah doesn’t feel bad for it even if her stomach is empty. It’s not that she is hungry; she is more likely feeling sick just as she has felt the whole morning. She doesn’t want to eat, having her own worry of that it will go the opposite direction from down, and that will just make those around her worry even more. No, she can’t eat now.

Manager Lim nods. They are getting lunch delivered from their fans today, and he had gotten confused if the youngest had even eaten breakfast this morning which is why he asked her.

But before lunch they will pre-record the stage performance. Because their stage will look a little different from the actual music show’s stage later, they pre-record it to make it look better. It’s not much of a difference from the original stage for the day, just some different colours and decorations on the stage to fit the concept of [Party Tonight]. Hannah changes into a sky blue cutaway-shoulder shift dress, wearing safety shorts underneath, bare legs and a pair of pretty slip-ons. It’s a very pretty dress, and even if it is revealing on the back she tries to cover it with her long hair.

They prepare to get to the stage, but first they step out to the corridor to take pictures for the homepage, for Music Bank and for SM Entertainment, to show 5 Pieces all five members together to support Julia’s solo promotions. Hannah doesn’t feel for smiling, but she gives a small smile and her hand does the v-sign to make it simple for the pictures; not looking forced to be there but maybe people will comment she seem tired. She never knows how people will react to pictures. It reminds her of twitter; whenever something around her puts her in a disappointed mood or whatever, she stops updating her twitter account and fans will begin to ask her to update, ask if she is alright and actually start worry about her as well. Hannah makes a face, now heading to the stage with her members. She must continue to update twitter. But how? She can’t really write something positive in this situation, it’s not like she will tell her fans to be nice to their families (the irony in that!). Maybe a picture? A picture says more than a hundred of words, right? A picture of her in this dress, she decides when arriving to the stage, she can do that after the recording.

 

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Headline 12th: Hannah’s Real Name Is Charlie? (Sister’s Real Story)

Headline 12th: Did 5 Pieces’ Hannah Cut Off Her Family Connection Completely?

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X. devonalias