My past.

I hung up the call and sighed as I placed my phone back into my duffel bag. The memories that washed by seemed like they all happened just yesterday when it has already been two whole years.

I shook my head, knocking the thoughts out of my head. I had a long day, I am tired and I just want to go back home and rest.

I plugged my earpiece into my ears and put the device on shuffle. The first song that came out was either a coincidence or a nightmare.

Our song. We used to hear this song together, all the time.

Him and I.

But now, there was no more him.

He was the real reason why I came to donating my blood regularly. My heart scrunched up as his image appeared in my mind. The agony that came along with the thoughts was hard to control. I gripped onto my music device as hard as possible as I lowered my head to stare at the ground. I could feel the tears pooling at my eyes, my eyes darted from left to right as I searched for nothing.

I quickly looked back up to the map and it was the stop where the blood donation center was. I hesitated for a moment before walking out of the train. At a time like these, I really want somebody to be with me and the only somebody I could think of other than Kim Mi was Mrs Cho. I breathed a sigh of relief as I made my way out of the train and back up to the pavement level as I walked towards the blood donation center.

Tears have unknowingly streamed down my cheek as they pooled at my chin. I tilted my head so no one could see.

My steps punished the stair as I climbed them heavily, like how my heart was feeling and I entered the blood donation center.

“Rae Ah?” Mrs Cho’s voice breezed through the entire entrance area when I walked in. I was clearly recognizable with my duffel bag and yoga attire.

I looked up and met her eyes and she knew something was wrong with me as she immediately stood up from her chair and walked towards me as I froze at the entrance.

“Rae Ah? Is something wrong? Did you cry?” Her voice of pure concern and care as she stood in front of me, taking my hand into her warm palms.

“No” I lied but my voice betrayed me by cracking.

“Oh sweetie. Come, let’s go inside where it’s warmer and you can tell me all about it.” She said firmly as she placed her arms around me and brought me to the pantry.

She made me sit down comfortably in the chair with a cushion and went on to make me a cup of warm milk.

She settled the mug in front of me before sitting down on the opposite side.

“There there, drink this. It will make you feel better.” She cooed as I looked up at her. Mrs Cho pushed the mug closer to me as she nodded her head towards it, keeping a smile on her face constantly.

My hands were shaking as I brought them forward to hold the mug. I brought the mug shakingly towards my lips as I sipped the warm milk.

Mrs Cho patiently sat opposite me as I sipped the milk from the mug. I felt better, much better already; just having her presence was enough. She was so motherly. Unlike my own mother.

My mother was far more different, harsher, and colder than Mrs Cho. She could never have that warmth feeling surrounding her. She was nothing like what a mother would be.

She was the exact opposite. She gave me hell.

My hand clutched at ends of my top, near my belly as I recalled what happened.

Flashback

I shook my head as my eyes widened in shock by what my mother just said to me.

“I WILL NOT ABORT THE BABY.” I yelled back at her.

“You will abort the baby, Choi Rae Ah. You will listen to me because I am your mother. I’m doing this for your own good. Look at that useless boy! He said nothing when we mentioned the word marriage! He didn’t want to marry you at all! He was just playing with you!”

“Marcus loves me! He loves me!” I screamed back at her, cupping my ears to prevent her from saying anymore.

“He doesn’t love you. He never did.” Mother said to me harshly .

“If you do not abort the child, you can forget about being my daughter! I will have to take things into my own hands and the consequences of it will be ugly.” She continued.

Tears were rolling down my cheek constantly as I saw her turned around and walked off, leaving me alone.

I met Marcus a day after at the park near my house. He was reluctant to keep the child but he assured me that he loved me. I was angry so I left and crossed the road, thinking about how stupid I was and how my mother was right. Then a car came speeding down the road towards me.  Marcus ran and pushed me to the side curb, making me hit the curb with my belly while the car hit him and he was flung onto the windscreen with a loud crash.

That was the most traumatic experience of my life. I was in extreme pain and from the corner of my eyes, I saw Marcus, lying on the road, his entire shirt drenched with blood, his limbs broken. I tried crawling towards him but it was no use, my pain was too much that I passed out.

The next time I woke up, my baby was gone.

Marcus had passed away and the driver who almost knocked me was hired by my mother.

 I wouldn’t talk for days and I went into depression, always having suicidal thoughts. I had insomnia and I would stay up all night, crying about Marcus and the baby. I had to undergo several counseling sessions which were all up to no use because I refused to say anything. My life was empty. The colours had all faded away. My grandparents have given me a house when they passed on and since my mother was being unreasonable. I moved all my things into the other house, away from her and lived there.

That was when my best friend Kim Mi dragged me to my first yoga session. She was the one who introduced yoga to me. So you could also say, she was the one who saved me. My once black and white life was suddenly filled with the vibrant colours of yoga. I enjoyed it so much, I decided to make a career out of it and become an instructor at the studio.

“Rae Ah? Rae Ah? You alright?” Mrs Cho’s voice brought me back to reality as she waved her hand in front of my face.

I blinked twice before taking the mug back to my lips and finished the milk.

“Mrs Cho, thank you very much. I feel a lot better now. I shouldn’t be holding you up. You’ve got work.” I said as I started to get up.

But she forced me back down onto the chair.

“Are you sure you’re alright, sweetie? I’m really worried. You look like you can just break down any time.” She said as her palms reached forward to cup my hands.

I turned my hands and squeezed her hand slightly. “I’m feeling alright now. Thanks Mrs Cho.” I said I got up and brought the mug to the sink, washing it.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, Rae Ah. I’ll wash it. You run along now. I’ll see you soon at the upcoming event, won’t I?”

I wiped my face dry, nodding my head, forcing a smile on my face as I looked at her.

“Great! My son will be at the event too! You two can finally meet!” She squealed.

I couldn’t help but laughed at how adorable Mrs Cho can get. Coming to the blood donation center was the right idea. 

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Hey readers *waves*

This is such a sad chapter, yes I know. I was thinking of the many different past Rae Ah could have and I decided for this one. Please forgive me! 

Commmmmmmment! ^^Love you readers! 

Xoxo.