I sunk back into my shell. The outside world was so scary. I couldn’t bear to step out and be hurt again. How wish I could just fade off and disappear into thin air. The pain was so suffocating. It was the same pain I felt the day I woke up after the road accident, that excruciating pain that was in my chest, I felt like my heart was on fire, the flames were burning my insides.

I stared at the balcony sliding door. I haven’t opened that door in days. I haven’t seen Kyuhyun in days. I sat on the couch with my chin on my knees as I hugged my legs closer to my chest as I rocked back and forth.

“Rae Ah!” I rolled my eyes as I heard Kim Mi’s voice rang down the hallway.

Kim Mi was worried sick about me so she decided to come over and stay to take care of me despite me telling her I was alright which she knew clearly I was lying.

“What?” I said, getting a little annoyed with her voice constantly shouting my name here and there.

“Where’s the box of plaster?” She shouted from the bathroom.

I sighed, “Third drawer from the right!” I shouted back.

“Got it! Thanks!” She replied.

Coming into the hall, Kim Mi sat next to me and grabbed my hand, I jerked and was about to pull away when I saw what she was doing.

Kim Mi was putting plasters over my cuts on my fingers, at my wrists. Smoothing out the plaster she looked over to me as I quickly looked up to the ceiling to prevent any tears from destroying my vulnerability.

“Don’t you think he deserves a chance to explain?” She started.

I knew this was coming the moment she wanted to come over to stay. I looked down from the ceiling to meet her eyes, “And why is that so?” I gave a cold glare towards her even though I knew she meant well.

“There is still a possibility that he really likes you, isn’t it?” Kim Mi said as she placed the last plaster around my ring finger.

I shrugged my hand away from her as I went back to my original seating position.

“Rae Ah, you can’t be like this every day!” Kim Mi reprimanded me. I knew she was just using her volume to tell Kyuhyun my well-being. He was just living next-door, must she had to be so obvious?

“Kim Mi, I listened to you and continued on with work and I eat my three meals a day, I sleep at night. I’m fine.” I muttered to her in a monotonous tone.

“You are scaring the freak out of me, Choi Rae Ah. I swear, if you didn’t stop me, I could have killed Cho Kyuhyun by now and become an idol murderer.” She said as she gripped onto the box of plasters tightly.

Days after Kim Mi found out what happen she almost smashed the mirrors at the yoga studio just listening to me. Kim Mi took care of me like an older sister caring for her younger sister, she made sure, I was mentally stable even though she couldn’t say the same for my emotional state but she did it all for my own good and I’m thankful for someone like her; always pulling me out of the waters when I’m about to sink.

It must have been fated that ever since that dreadful day, I have never bumped into Kyuhyun again; not at the lobby, or the carpark or just by coming out of the apartment. It was like back to the beginning where I didn’t know he existed. He didn’t bother me after that day either.

I stayed on the sofa as Kim Mi accompanied me as she switched on the television in the living room. She started flipping the channels to something she was interested in. Kim Mi was one nosy person, she loved watching celebrity gossip channels, anything to do with a celebrity’s background information, and she knew it like the back of her hand.

Suddenly she stopped, as her eyes glued to the screen. She must have found her favourite channel, I thought.

I stopped rocking back and forth as I followed her stare. She was engrossed.

“Cho Kyuhyun composing a new ballad!” The words on the screen were in big bold letters.

I blinked as I watched the screen. Kim Mi noticed the tension in the living room as she fumbled with the remote control to switch channels but I stopped her unknowingly.

“Wait.” I muttered.

“B-But...” Kim Mi continued speaking but in my head, her voice had faded as the news reporter’s voice took over. Kyuhyun’s song was playing in the background of the entertainment report.

The news flashed a few images of Kyuhyun with his mask alone, walking out of his entertainment company, waving to the media and suddenly bursting into a coughing fit.

The chill weather has gotten to him; he was falling sick. It dawned on me how stupid I was that I couldn’t even recognize the similarity as I looked on.

I even compared ‘their’ voices when they were the same exact person.

I stood up as I strolled to the balcony sliding door. I haven’t opened it in days.  I grabbed the handle and pushed the sliding door open.

The cold wind breezed in as I rubbed my shoulders, I didn’t dare to step out for fear that Kyuhyun will be at his balcony too and I don’t wish to see him. I just stood by the edge of my living room with the balcony door slide opened.

Breathing in the cold air, I sighed as my shoulders slouched. Kim Mi had switched off the television and retreated back in to the bedroom, she was giving me some privacy.

In the silent of the afternoon, I stood there, staring at the view in front of me. Suddenly, a burst of sneezing and coughing broke the still atmosphere.

My brows furrowed, it was obviously neither Kim Mi nor I and I knew clearly who it was.

 The owner of the coughing fit cleared his throat but it only made it worse.

No one was there to take care of him. Does his mother know that he was sick?

Choi Rae Ah, stop. Stop this at once. Stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about him.

But I couldn’t. He must be running a fever. I bit my bottom lip as I quickly grasped the balcony door handle and shut it.

I went back to my bedroom as I took my hand phone, I scrolled through my contacts until I stopped at Mrs Cho’s name. Should I inform her? My thumb hesitated above my phone screen as I stared at her name.

I shook my head as I tossed my phone back onto my bed. His mother would know and his mother would take care of him.

After my yoga class had ended, I decided to drop by the blood donation center. I might be angry and upset with Kyuhyun but that doesn’t mean I stop my charity work at the blood donation center.

Someone else was sitting at Mrs Cho’s place as I looked around for her. I must have been quite harsh to her the other day and I felt bad. It wasn’t her fault.

“Hello. I just want to check, where is Mrs Cho?” I asked the lady in replacement.

“Mrs Cho? She’s not in town. She went overseas with a group of volunteers recently. She will only be back after next week.” The lady replied.

Mrs Cho is not in town? And she will only be back after next week? Then who is going to take care of Kyuhyun?  

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Hey readers *waves*

I am done with my assignments for the year so writing spree starts againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~ Heheheheh. And I finally figured out how to put pictures and gifs into the pages! I know I'm slow! Whoopsie daisy! But from now on I shall put a gif in my author's note in every chapter alright? Heheheheh. 

Oh well, here is another chapter for you guys! ^^ 

Enjoyyyyy. 

Xoxo.