Edited ☑

Ever Since Bang Yong Guk forcefully got your number, that day he deleted those pictures of Gi Kwang on your phone, he also managed to get your mimber, God knows how. Since that time, it became a habit to check your phone when you weren't talking to him online. The constant talking with him never stopped, he never allowed it too. Always making sure he would atleast text even if he was busy. It was weird, you didn't understand his actions, why he did the things he did but you find yourself slowly falling for him. It was scary, these deep feelings approaching you so fast, it's nothing like you've ever felt before but then again you haven't felt much. After reaching for your phone, you read the text "Good Morning x" He never missed a day, it was nice being like that with someone, but it confused you, you keep wondering if this is how he acted with everyone, or what his actions could mean. However those thoughts would only hurt your brain as you try to understand the impossible so you refrain from thinking.

As soon as you got up, you started talking to him online again, after all, it was all you had while you were locked up inside your house. It would be nice to see him again you thought silently...Before you knew it, the day was passing by again. You could never really tell time while you spoke to him, the words you both spoke just flowed so naturally like an endless river and a river doesn't magically stop does it? You knew this wasn't good for you, that you should probably stop speaking to him so much if you didn't want to get attached yet you couldn't because he was just soo... Addictive. He brings you out of your thoughts by asking "Hey, Can I call you?" You stared at the screen in thought, he caught you a bit off gaurd, the only boy you could ever speak to on the phone was Zelo, but that was because you were comfortable with it. You found yourself having already agreed, telling him you might not talk alot, he said it was okay and before you knew it the phone in your hands started ringing.

You felt your heart beat fast as the ringing started to get louder, almost as if it were shaking with the vibration in your hand. You took a deep breath and held the phone up to your ear? "Hello" He said in the deepest voice you could have possibly heard. It was different to hearing it while you were next to him, on the phone he sounded clearer, more intense, as the sounds went straight into your ear. You shivered a little. "Hi" you managed to squeak out. He started happily blabbing away, oblivious to how he effectd you, while being on Xbox with his friends. You could hear them bickering at each other, Zelo screaming while being beaten. They where playing Gears of War, your favourite game. Bang was telling you how he was going to beat you if he ever had the chance to play you, you imedietly argued that point despite the fact he probably would since you havent played the game in so long due to all the school work you have to do. Not to mention the daily chores at home.

While Bang talked to his friends and multitasked b talking to you, you thought he might be having a hard time concentrating on the game, nevermind the fact he was winning, You could still be annoying him you thought. But if thats the case, why would he call you? Don't boys usually hate being interrupted while they are playing video games, you know you did... "Bang... Isn't this annoying for you? Maybe you should call after your friends go." you asked him. "No" he imedietly answered in his beautiful deep voice. Authority evident, as if it were an order, you shut your mouth that wanted to continue to protest, obeying him. You heard him laugh again with his friends, you wouldn't even care if that was the only thing you heard forever, just listening to him like this is enough for you. You ended up speaking to him for more then 3 hours, that's the longest phone call you ever had. Being able to be his friend like this was fine, He didn't have to like you, after all. You wouldn't want a relationship anyway right?

It was 2am now, Bang did call you really late. You love your sleep more then anyone else in the whole world yet for Bang you gave it up so easily, its strange. With that though, Weirdly, Jonghyun started speaking to you again, it really did surprise you as his chat came out of no where when you expected it to be Yong Guk.

• Jonghyun: Hey... You awake?
• [You] : Yeah, whats wrong?
• Jonghyun: Nothing. I just wanted to speak to you.
• [You]: Oh well, hi.
• Jonghyun: Is your first kiss gone?
• [You]: What?
• [You]: No...
• Jonghyun: hmm, What if I kissed you, would you kiss me back?
• [You]: Jonghyun.. What's wrong with you?
• Jonghyun: Nothing.
• Jonghyun: Hey...
• Jonghyun: Go out with me instead?
• [You]: You're joking right? What the hell.
• Jonghyun: Why would I joke about something like this.
• [You]: Jongiee, you're not  funny. I know you like to play with my feelings but this is taking it too far.
• Jonghyun: I'm not playing with your feelings. I really do like you. I knew you'd hate it if I said it to your face, so that its easier for you, i'm saying it like this. So you can't run away.
• [You]: Oppa... :/ Why would you say it now, why would you only tell me you liked me now.
• Jonghyun: Look Will you be my girlfriend. Yes or no?
• [You]: No. 
• Jonghyun: Fine Bye.
• Jonghyun is Offline.

What the hell? Your brain started to hurt alot. Your heart hurt, why did he only say it now. That he liked you, the fact that he said it this way just proves how well he knew you. Well used to... You would have definetly ran away, but you can't run away from your thoughts now. The words you wanted to hear a long time ago seemed like they were a dream you never had, you felt empty all of a sudden. Shouldn't you be happy to hear him admit his feelings for you, he had you feeling like everything you felt for him was fake. That you both wer't even friends ar all and yet why did it hurt to hear what you wanted to hear. suddenly in the midst of your pain, you see Bang's gummy smile, feel him poke you, hear his deep voice inide of your head. Jonghyun said it too late, What would have happened if he confessed a week ago? When you hadn't met Bang?

it's like your heart was set on something new and yet still longed for the past. It was like you owed it to yourself to accept Jonghyun's feelings because if you didn't... That would mean you wasted tears for nothing, that all those nights you spent up late wishing he'd just talk to you again was for nothing. It would mean that what you felt for him wasn't enough, what you thought was an intense feeling and felt pain for is merly nothing. How is it fair that Bang comes into your life and takes over just like that, with the first words he spoke to you, until now he hasn't ever stopped speaking to you. As if reeling you in with a long line of his words. The dilema within your thoughts drained away your energy, fighting with what decision you should make confused you to no end. Should you please your past and allow yourself to feel for Jonghyun again or move on with the person who seems to take your breath away every second of the day? Is it even healthy the way Bang makes you feel? He's no good for you...You know that but why does it feel like you'd make the worst decision in your life to accept Jonghyuns feelings. Even if you did accept it, you couldn't see yourself with him, you can't imagine being all lovey dovey and doing the things couples do but with Bang... His touches excite you, make your heart beat at a dangerous rate. He already did things to you that you have yet to understand. You felt tears roll down your face due to all the stressful thoughts that made you struggle with yourself... Jonghyun being sad, that would make you upset too, you thought letting out a teary sigh.

You layed in your bed, hugging a random teddy bear, trying to fall asleep. Trying to suppress the emotions flowing through you, you told Bang so suddenly that you were going to sleep. You've never done that, you would always continue to talk until you fell asleep, never once have you told him an actul goodnight which hinted for him to stop speaking. You would always wake up apologising the next morning. How stupid of you, now he knew something was wrong. He persistently asked you what was up but you lied and told him you were perfectly fine, Bang stopped answering you, he's probably mad. He didn't even try and ask you anymore, he knew you were lying and was probably annoyed. That thought made you more even more upset.

Closing your eyes as you layed back down on your bed, you were intterrupted by the phone ringing. Your eyes flew open thinking it was Bang and you read the caller ID 'Zelo'. You steadied your breathing and answered his call. "Bub? .... Baby Whats wrong?" You couldn't manage to answer him so he knew something was up too. That's right, he was with Bang... You stayed silent for a until he called out your name and just like that all the emotions were let out. "Oppa" you cried out, you sniffled and cried telling Zelo that Jonghyun just confessed to you, you found it hard to explain to Zelo why you were crying, You couldn't tell him the exact truth because he might tell Bang. After all, Bang was Zelo's bestfriend too, not just yours. Zelo started to shush you and soo you with sweet words that it would be alright. He listened to you until you felt like you complained enough and your crying became soft incoherent sniffles.

"Just think about how you feel baby? It's all about you at the end of the day..." He stopped and continued "How do you feel about that prick?" Zelo asked you, it made you stop for a minute, the confrontation resulting in a simple "I don't know" your brain was blank, you just felt empty. "You know, I always see Yong Guk talkg to you...How do you feel about Bang then?" Zelo asked you. Oh god he knew, you never could hide anything from Zelo, he could always read you like and open book. It must be so awkward for him, Zelo must hate you, oh god. You wondered what he thought about you liking Bang... Wait? What? You like Bang... After a long hesitant pause, you replied back with a softer and weaker "I-I don't know" After that Zelo hushed you gently as you started to get teary again, he tried to make  you feel better and talked about other things to take your mind of it, telling you how he'd buy you a Panda and you'd have to start perfecting your Panda face from now on otherwise "You'll be too ugly and they'll hate you, ne?" you giggled half heartedly at his jokes and soon you calmed down and he you wished you a goodnight. "Sleep well Panda face, Saranghae okay?" 

You closedour eyes, feeling much more relaxed thanks to Zelo. Feeling a vibration you stared at your phone and refused to touch it, 'New Text: Bang' you knew Zelo must have told him something, but what exactly you didn't know. Zelo would never tell him toouch but you were just scared to face Bang right now, scared to face your feelings. What would he say? Curiousity and lonline cause you to slowly reach out and grab your phone. You stared at the screen once more before taking in a breath and opening the text message. "You sure you're okay?" You thought about your answer carefully before replying back. "Yeah, I just need some sleep, but thank you for always talking to me so much, sorry for being useless tonight. Are you not gonna sleep soon?" You replied back to him. Not too long after you felt a another buzz that made your heart skip in anticipation of reading it as you hurriedly opened it. "You're thanking me for speaking to you? 6300 messages? I like speaking to you, Why should I stop? and Nah Zelo is on the phone to his girlfriend in my room, I wanted to see if you wanted to fall asleep on the phone to me...but you still like that Jonghyun guy right? Sorry to bring it up but I wanna hear it from you.."

You felt your heart tighten in its place, you could feel Bang felt disheartened or something, you didn't understand it but it hurt to ow he was feeling anything negative because of you. You felt really bad, "I know you always tell me everything.. Sorry for not telling you about him, I just didn't want too.. Not in a bad way, but it's just you made me forget about all of that and there was no reason to bring it up... Jonghyun finally just told me how he felt today and asked me out. I just really needed to think about things.. For what it's worth.. I said no" You typed away slowly, thinking of the best way to say what you wanted to say, even though you didn't know what you wanted to say, You sent the text and regreted it a little. Feeling scared, wondering why you wrote the last sentence, You were stupid. You were still so confused, where you supposed to go out with Jonghyun, finally after all this time of waiting? Or ignore him and let your feelings for Bang grow. It seemed impossible not to continue to know Bang, to live without him now would seem so empty, How Scary. You felt nervous as you heard another Buzz. You reached out and took your sweet time in opening the text.

"Me helping you forget him, is good right? I'm happy you said no, not just for selfish reasons, you thought well.. I think, Come on facebook please?" Selfish reasons, what does he mean? This whole guessing thing with Bang, it confused the hell out of you, was he teasing you again or did he genuinely feel something for you? You obeyed and went online so you both started talking again. You warned him that you may fall asleep at any moment.

• Bang Yong guk: It's fine, I don't mind. Although I do love speaking to you.

His words made your heart skip a beat, you took in the words and for once replied back genuinely

• [You]: I love speaking to you too.
• Bang Yong Guk: So what are you doing, just laying in bed?
• [You]: Yhup, you?
• Bang Yong guk: The same, except on a sofa while Jongup plays on the xbox and listening to Rick Ross.
• [You]: Your back is going to hurt later, why don't you go seek affection from this Jongup Guy since Zelo is so busy ;)
• Bang Yong Guk: My back stopped hurting a while ago actually and no I wont. Me and him are just speaking actually.
• [You]: About what homoboy?
• Bang Yong Guk: Do you feel awkward if we don't speak in metaphors?
• [Insert your name here]: huh? em, I don't mind but it helps.
• Bang Yong guk: Can I tell you something?
• [You]: Yeah. Go ahead.

Your heart started thumping really loudly in anticipation, it was weird. What where you really expecting him to say?

• Bang Yong Guk: Before I met you, I didn't really care if the world supposedly ended in 2012 since I didn't really mind dying and kind of wanted to...But now that I've met you, I don't want to because I'd miss you.
• Bang yong Guk: I'm not emo or anything...
• [You]: It's okay pretty boy life can get tough I get that.
• Bang Yong Guk: It's just my Ex really ed me over I guess, but I'm glad. I somehow met you.

He did tell you about her, how she slept with another guy when she went on a school trip to spain , one he didn't go too. You didn't understand why someone would cheat on him, he was perfect. Not just apperance wise, he was such a nice person and never failed to make you laugh. It was his personality you liked the most. He truely did tell you everything, he probably would have told you more, as you thought about that awkward conversation, you told him not to tell you details so he didn't, you didn't want to know what his ex girlfriends where like or how his relationship was like with them. You didnt want to hear about how he cared about them, it made you feel weird inside and you didn't understand it, Bang  always gives you these new feeling you couldn't put a name too.

• [You]: I'm glad your happy.
• Bang yong guk : When I ask you about Jonghyun, Does it annoy you?
• [You]: No... Why would it annoy me?
• Bang Yong Guk: I don't know, I just wanted to know what he said after you told him no..
• [You]: You're allowed to ask or tell me whatever, I'll try my best not to be weird about it.. To be honest he just said okay and went offline.
• Bang Yong Guk: Oh cool. Why are you even awake it's 5am. It's really suprising.
• [You]: Because I'm talking to you, why are you awake?
• Bang Yong Guk: Because I'm talking to you.
• [You]: Well I guess it's safe to say we never get enough of each other, you know how much sleep means to me.. Just saying.
• Bang Yong Guk: So what you're saying, my cute little pokemon, is you're not sleeping to talk to me? ;)

He was teasing you again, you hate the fact you couldn't lie and with Bang you were always so straight forward with your feelings. It was weird, it's just that he made you feel like you could tell him anything even if you'd regret it, however the words would leave you before you had a chance to process it and even think not to say it.

• [You]:Clearly.. The pokemon was guessing the Jonghyun thing kind of upset Ash so the idiotic pokemon didn't want to go sleep.
• Bang Yong Guk: Ash says it sort of made him upset, e.g. going quiet but he understands. *Ash pets Pokemon* Ash thinks that the pokemon will start to grow on him and become she'll become more comfortable.
• [You]: The Pokemons is kind of scared, it's happening more and more each day. It's weird.
• Bang Yong Guk: Ash likes the pokemon... he thinks it's a good thing and tells the pokemon not to worry, he says he'll take care of her and wonders why she thinks its a weird thing?
• [You: The pokemon gets embrassed and goes back into her pokeball.

You fell asleep right after you wrote that, with a crimson blush all over your face, your heart burnt with some sort of happiness. You were content with life right at this moment, you never wanted that happy feeling to go away. You knew that he did like you, you would have to be really stupid to ignore what Bang meant. The sweetness in him complying with your childish ways of talking about things made you extremely happy. It's been a week but you were more then sure you had strong feelings for him and knew he liked you back. Even if it's a little. This mutual feeling, its a nice thing to have with someone, to know they feel the same way about you. You were unsure as to the extent of his feelings, but it was fine, it was all fine if you could be like this with him forever.