“And that, you see Kyungsoo-baby-”

“Don’t call me that.”

“-is why I desperately need to find that box.”

“That barely warrants you going through all his stuff like a criminal. Why don’t you just ask him like a normal person?”

“I’m not going to ask him! That would make it seem like I was jealous or at least curious which I am not because being jealous and curious is for people in relationships and we’re not in a relationship. Do I want to be in a re-”

“You seriously need to see a doc-BAEKHYUN!”

Kyungsoo’s mouth dropped as he noticed all his letters scattered around Baekhyun, with all the corners folded down like puppy dog ears on each and every one. He glared as he scooped them up and tried ironing out the creases frantically on the surface of his knee.

“Is that what you’ve been doing this entire time? Ruining my mail?!”

“Well uh-”

“That’s it Baekhyun! Get out! GET OUT!”

“But what- K-kyungsoo. Aren’t you over-reacting a lit-”

The rest of the sentence was smothered by Baekhyun’s face smooshing into the carpet as Kyungsoo kicked him swiftly off the bed. Baekhyun leapt up from the floor like a cat out of water and hissed at it. He turned around to face Kyungs-

“GET OUUUUUTTTT!!!!”

Baekhyun received a pillow (a fairly solid one in fact – why didn’t he get a pillow like this…) to the face. The next thing he knew, he was tripping over his own feet as Kyungsoo shoved him across the room and out the door.

“Wait. Aren’t you going to help-”

He only caught a glimpse of Kyungsoo’s toad face before he slammed the door on him.

“Me?”

Baekhyun stared at the floor and he swore he could hear Kai snickering at the sound of his rotten fate. Naturally, the devil boy-toy scampered around the corner, and all-so-innocent smile plastered to his -coloured face.

“Aww…Baekhyunnie-baby-”

“Don’t call me that.”

Kai smirked as he inspected his nails.

Ew. They were gross. He should really go get them done professionally or something…Kai seemed to linger around him for a while, and Baekhyun was starting to get antsy.

“Did you want…something?”

Kai looked at him and grinned.

Oh .

“Nope. Nothing. I was just wondering though…how would you think I would go at boxing?”

Baekhyun blinked. Sure he could probably flail his arms and poke somebody in the eye, but Kai wasn’t really cut out for…any sort of…physical…activity. Except for…that.

Kai shook his head and he trotted down the hallway, Baekhyun carefully following on his heels.

“By the way, Baekhyun, did you go shopping on Boxing Day?”

“I don’t see where-”

“Have you ever eaten a Box Jellyfish?”

Baekhyun paused. He was pretty sure people didn’t eat jellyfish. There was one time though he had attempted to free a jellyfish from a piece of cotton stuck in its tentacles. Emphasis on the word attempt and piece of cotton. Come on – he was like only…nineteen at that time - Just a youngin’.

“Have you ever had Chicken Box?”

“Kai I’m pretty sure it’s Pox not Bo-”

Then he realised. His eyes slowly opened as he drew his gaze towards Kai’s now-smug grin.

He pointed in an accusing manner.

“Adfshfhdsjkfhsk!!”

Kai stared at him confused.

“Come again?”

Baekhyun coughed awkwardly.

“I think I mean to say,” he puffed out his chest and lowered his voice slightly in a mock business tone, “you…were listening.”

Kai clapped.

“Well done Sherlock. Now…shall we let the games begin?”

Baekhyun stopped walking as he realised where Kai had led him. He could hear Luhan and Chanyeol’s murmuring behind the door to his bedroom. Suddenly the lock clicked and they both emerged, only briefly because-

“What the fu-”

“MOVE !”

“Baekhyun wh-”

“ASHJHFJKHDFHSKJFD!”

Baekhyun pushed Kai into the wall as he tried to squish into the room. Kai stuck out his foot and  Chanyeol tripped over it instead and Luhan let out a sissy whine as he collided onto him. Kai fell into his own trap with a loud OOF and Baekhyun wriggled into the room frantically.

“What are you guys-”

“What? Stop pushin-”

“Someone’s on my foot!”

“LUHAN GET YOUR HAND OFF MY !”

“That isn’t me…”

“Ka-”

 “I NEED TO FART.”

 Everybody scrambled off the fallen heap and Kai bounded into the room and pushed the other two utterly confused room-mates out and locked the door. He sent Baekhyun a pissed glare and pushed him over again as he began to search. Baekhyun hit the floor in a clumsy mess and scrambled back to his feet not even bothering to get the evil dongsaeng back. He had to get that box.

Now it seemed he didn’t even care about what was in it.

Now he just needed to beat Kai.

Baekhyun tugged out the drawers of the desk and frantically searched the contents. Most of this was just his own stuff. Just random books and pencils and rubber shavings hastily swept into the top drawer. Okay so nothing here. He peeked back to Kai who was on his knees, looking under the bed-

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”

Kai gave him a confused look.

Baekhyun coughed.

“I mean…it’s really messy…under there…and I don’t want you…to…see that mess…and uh…”

Kai raised and eye brow and stuck one hand rebellious under the bed and pulled out a-

Kai’s jaw dropped.

“Is this a-”

“It’s not what it looks like. Well it is but-”

“It’s so big! How did you even manage to hide it!”

“Kai. It’s not that big a dea-”

“But this…this would seriously hurt…”

“Kai.”

“But it looks like so much fun!”

“Kai. Get your hands off my stuff. I paid good money for that.”

“Have you tried is on Chanyeol yet?”

“No-wha-KAI!”

Kai put his hands up in protest.

“Okay okay Mr Grumpy Poopy Pants. Sheesh, no wonder you need this.”

“Just put it back!”

Kai laughed at his flustered state.

“Why do you have a giant Nerf gun under your bed anyway?”

“So I can shoot Chanyeol when he sleepwalks,” Baekhyun admitted, eyes trailing to the floor, “He once dreamt I was a pillow pet and he tried to fold me in half. This was my last resort.”

Kai snorted as he placed the gun under the bed, because of course, Kyungsoo would never let such a dangerous object in his house. Right. Baekhyun glared at Kai.

Baekhyun suddenly jumped as he heard his name being called from the kitchen. He glanced at Kai and Kai folded his hands together in a praying manner, as if he were an angel. Baekhyun didn’t take his eyes off him for a second as he walked backwards towards the door, opening it and rearing towards the kitchen, Kyungsoo giving him a funny glance. Kai laughed as he bounded towards the door and shut it quick, even though Baekhyun leapt towards it. He heard the soft click and Kai scuttling towards the bed again.

“KAI!”

“Oh my God Baekhyun, you have so much dirty stuff here!”

“I do not!”

He swung around to Kris, Sehun, Luhan and Chanyeol all staring at him with wide eyes. Kyungsoo knew what Kai was like, so he didn’t care.

“I don’t okay!”

“You’ve got so much here. All these y women, flaunting it.”

“Don’t you dare touch my SNSD collectables Kai!”

“Oh my god is this a toy?!”

Everybody stared again. Baekhyun cried into the wood, rattling the handle frantically as he jumped up and down.

“It was a light stick and the top fell off! Stop going through my stuffffsdfdsfhhjshfjhsdkjfh!!!”

“Sure.”

Baekhyun bashed his head against the door.

“ you Kai. you.”

He stormed away from the bedroom door. Kai was being an absolute . There was nothing wrong with having girl group merchandise stuffed under your bed.

Okay well.

Baekhyun paced around the kitchen, forgetting that Kyungsoo had even called him. Then he paused. Chanyeol wouldn’t be so dumb as to keep the box in the room where Baekhyun had found it first, right? Well, he suspected he wasn’t that dumb. So where else could he hide it?

“Kyungso-!”

He yelled loudly before sprinting into the lover’s bedroom and slamming the door behind him before Kyungsoo could even turn to look at him. Once inside, he held his breath. This was a dangerous thing to do. One should never be alone in Kyungsoo and Kai’s bedroom. He felt that it was y-trapped, and he really didn’t want to search for anything in here.

He was truly scared of what he might find.

He hesitantly made his way over to a bedside table, and peeped through one eye as he opened it hesitantly. His eyes widened and he breathed a small no way at what he saw. He pulled out a dusty notebook with thin pages. KAI’S DIARY was scribbled hugely in what actually appeared to be Kyungsoo’s handwriting. Then he remembered – Kyungsoo had bought him this because he felt that if Kai began to write down things, if often stupid thoughts may actually turn into something interesting. Better luck next time, Kyungsoo.

He looked inside.

Baekhyun laughed and almost dropped the book as the pen went to scribble. Kyungsoo should have known better. He turned to the next page.

Well. Kai drew a . Nice.

And he took up the entire two pages.

Baekhyun flipped another page.

Wait. Who was this Lay?

More importantly…

Who names their kid Lay?

No. Baekhyun, there are more important things than that.

Like the fact that Kai found something important – more important than Kyungsoo.

This must be important.

…

But…Lay….

What kind of na-

Not now.

Baekhyun sighed. He found the rest of the details a couple of pages later – who would have guessed that Kai was that smart to be so secretive. Or he just meant to write them on the page over but the pages stuck together. Either way.

Meeting with Lay.

This after noon.

In the park.

Baekhyun groaned.

Why was everything in the park.

Then another thought caught him.

What if Kai was cheating on Kyungsoo?!

This . He should be finding Chanyeol’s box, finding out his ex-boyfriend, killing them, then returning to a happy, blissful relationship with Chanyeol. He shouldn’t be worrying about Double K clan and the fact that Kyungsoo was too nice –in a way– for his own good to kick Kai up the backside, and out the door.

When he returned to the kitchen, he found Kai have given himself a little snack break and with good timing too. Baekhyun couldn’t stand one moment longer in the room – not after noticing Kai stuffed his back pockets and  his shoes with condoms. He didn’t even want to know where else. And he was pretty sure he’d seen some lace peeping out from underneath the bed. On Kyungsoo’s side.

Kai stuffed his mouth with a handful of cherries and let the deep red juice run down his lips. He stared at Baekhyun, almost as if he was expecting him to throttle him – which is what he did, usually. But not this time.

Not this time…

“Hey Kai…you don’t mind if I just Lay here do you?” Baekhyun patted couch with one hand.

“Uh…no?”

“Oh okay then…then would you mind getting me the chips? The Lay ones?”

“We don’t even have those.”

Baekhyun paused. Awkward.

Well. This wasn’t working. He forgot Kai was an idiot anyway.

He needed to find that box. And he needed to think like Chanyeol.

If I were a jerk with a massive secret that only my ex Luhan idiot moron seems to know about, and I had just found an idio---really cute person in my cupboard hiding with my special box…I would probably…

“Baekhyun!”

Luhan called him and Baekhyun froze. He slowly crumbled under that evil stare again. That evil stare that basically just said Haha I wrote that beautiful postcard and I’ve been stalking all your letters to grasp your handwriting mwhwhhaahahhjhajhdfh-

Um.

A picture says a thousand words?

Baekhyun jumped as he heard Chanyeol cry out from the lounge. When Baekhyun wandered in, apparently Kyungsoo had found another postcard he’d dropped –Luhan planted– and given it to Chanyeol.

No no no. This was not good.

Another message. Baekhyun was sure it was Luhan and he was just about to open his mouth and prove his innocence when Chanyeol came storming up to him, half angry, half amused. He shoved the postcard forcefully into Baekhyun’s face. Baekhyun went cross-eyed looking at his own –forged– handwriting.

I’m not wearing any .

ha.

No.

haha

No.

hahahahaha

No.

hahahhahahhahah

No.

hahhahahahahhahahahha

No!

Chanyeol threw the postcard at his face and chortled and snorted and laughed and galloped and freaking hell-ed as he ran outside. Baekhyun flushed all the shades of the rainbow and glared at Luhan, who simply smirked.

Time to get that Nerf Gun.

He heard the clock tick suddenly and remembered – Loo.

Wait. No.

Lay.

Whoops.

Kai followed his surprised gaze and glanced at the clock too. Suddenly he seemed to remember the same thing. After a second of glancing at each other, they rushed to the door and Baekhyun knew something was up. There was just no way Kai could move that fast unless there was an all you can eat free buffet and Kyungsoo prided himself on staying clear of those. Baekhyun shoved Kai over the couch and he tipped backwards, over head. Baekhyun feigned his worry.

“Oh my! Kai is injured! Somebody- somebody save him! Oh noooooooooooo….”

His voice trailed off as he slowly closed the door slowly, peering through the crack as he did, laughing at Kyungsoo running out of the kitchen to see what happened. No matter how much Kai protested, Kyungsoo smothered him, showering him with little kisses and baby are you alrights? while Kai tried to push him off.

He never knew that would come in handy, until now.

∞

Baekhyun saw a very lost looking person with neatly styled chocolate-coloured hair and lean limbs, simply just standing in the middle of the park. He looked like a dancer, with nice lips – mystical almost…

No.

Baekhyun couldn’t get mesmerised.

The stranger spotted him and Baekhyun frantically searched around for somewhere to hide, but he was kind of in the middle of nowhere and they were pretty much the only two around and morphing into a small Pekinese dog wasn’t really an option. The stranger headed towards him.

“Um, hi. Are you…Kai’s friend?”

“No!”

He blinked.

“I mean yes…well not really…he smells and…well yes…he’s my friend…but I had no say in the matter. At all.”

Lay chuckled and Baekhyun squinted his eyes at him.

“Um…was Kai meeting you here?”

Lay shielded his eyes from the sun and nodded.

“Yeah he wanted to help me with something.”

Baekhyun gulped.

“…what exactly would that helping be…”

Lay urged him over to a seat underneath a shady tree while he talked.

“Well I found out about Kai through my friend. Cause Kai’s friends with Chanyeol, right? You know Chanyeol?”

“No…No I have absolutely no idea who that is...”Baekhyun muttered sarcastically.

“Well, my friend didn’t really show it when it happened, but he felt a little bad when Chanyeol broke up with him. Haven’t seen him for a bit, just making sure he’s all good n-”

“Wait. What?”

Lay blinked. Baekhyun stared.

“Is he blonde? Like, really stupid and annoying…gives statues a run for their money?”

“Yeah…I guess so…I don’t unders-”

Luhan.

He knew it – he wasn’t over Chanyeol.

And he was doing all he could to make sure Baekhyun didn’t get him.

Not on my watch-

“.”

“Um…excuse me? Did you just call me a-”

Baekhyun glanced up, embarrassed. . He shook his head.

“No no. Luhan is still obsessed with him, I swear he likes to ruin every single move I make on Chanyeol.

Lay furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Um…I’m sorry…I have no idea who Luhan is…but I’m talking about my friend..."

"His name is Kris."

--

a.n.

Aigoo - Sorry - There's not much Baekyeol for a while, but I will promise you some soon.