“What the hell do you want Baekhyun?!”

Baekhyun ignored Chanyeol for the hundredth and a half time that morning. After the constant abuse of I’m going to punch you in the face’s and I hope you get hit by a moped’s Baekhyun still refused to tell Chanyeol what he wanted for Christmas. The truth was –Baekhyun had pretty much only carbon dioxide and more room on the left side of the bed to give him in return. What could you get for a jerk for Christmas anyway?  It’s not like they’re sentimental. It’s not like he’s going to jump for joy if Baekhyun bought him a couple ring.

Not that they’re a couple.

Not that Baekhyun would buy him a ring.

Not that Baekhyun wanted to buy him something sentimental anyway.

Not that-

Well. Somebody’s in denial.

“Go buy me a tissue box. I’ve always wanted a tissue box,” Baekhyun groaned into the pillow as Chanyeol shot him an unamused glare from across the room.

---

“Okay. Whoever wins gets to choose who they shop with.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and Chanyeol grinned from ear to ear. There was no way he wanted to end up Christmas shopping with that stupid dongsaeng-who-talks-through-his-stomach or the kitchen-neat-freak who counted pennies. But in the end, he couldn’t exactly shop with the person he was buying for. Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol intently, hoping it would give him some sort of vision to what he was going to play.

“Okay, ready go.”

Baekhyun shut up eyes as he played scissors.

The thunderous clapping that resulted from the giant clown made him sick in the guts. He opened his eyes and Chanyeol’s hand was curled into rock. He sighed as he attempted to stab himself in the face with his own scissors.

Please. Please. Please.

Don’t pair me up with Kai.

“I’ll go with Kyungsoo.”

And this is why you’re first on my list of people to brutally murder once it becomes legal.

Baekhyun tried not to kick the tanned chimpanzee as he shouted out an ear piercing woohoo and hugged him tightly around the waist.

“Hyung will buy me lunch!”

And this is why Kai was second.

“This is going to be so much fun!”

“Somebody shoot him before I do.”

---

“How about thi-”

“No.”

“This is cu-”

“No.”

“Get him thi-”

“No.”

“Are you even lis-”

“No.”

He was about three more questions away from exploding like a water bomb full of explosives, giant explosives and other stuff that could hurt people. He’d been trudging around the shopping centre for about five hundred years, being trailed by an idiot that didn’t know how to make conversations that weren’t about burritos or beef pies or Kyungsoo’s lips. It was hell. No. It was heaven. For a person who absolutely loved being tortured in every single way imaginable.

It was not the reality he wanted.

“Buy him a G-str-”

“I’m not buying him a G-string!”

Baekhyun groaned and buried his face in an imaginary tub of quicksand as every head turned in his direction. He wanted to rocket through the glass ceiling and all the way to the moon. He wanted to bury himself to the ocean and get eaten by an undiscovered shark-like creature somewhat related to an aquatic dinosaur. He just wanted to asdfhjhdfjkhsadfhsakfhkjshf.

But no, you can’t do that in public.

Because then people would look at you.

They’re already look-

How about I just strip and do the chicken dance!

Then maybe they’ll stop looking, huh?!

“So are we having lunch yet?”

ARRRRRR

RRRRRRGGGG

GGGGGGGGGHHHHHH

HHHHH

H

H

H

H...

From that moment on, Baekhyun bought himself a pair of ear plugs and kicked Kai in the stomach in the back of the store so he could get a head start before the younger could catch up to him.

The silence was beautiful.

Amazing.

And judging by the weird stares he was receiving, Kai was probably shouting his name on repeat behind him.

It was heaven.

Baekhyun shuffled through various stores, looking at this and that. In all honesty, he had absolutely  no idea what to buy Chanyeol. Baekhyun took his earplugs out to find Kai had shut up. He turned around and came face to face with the idiot stuffing his face with a box of chicken.

No surprise.

He shook his head and spun around, only to run into a rack full of wintery scarves.

Hold on.

Maybe he could buy matching scarves.

…

WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING

THAT’S A COUPLE THING

THEY WEREN’T A COUPLE.

“Hyung, you okay?”

Baekhyun stopped screaming inside his head as he heard Kai’s voice, full of chicken and what not. He mumbled a slight no I’m just dying here and shook his head. He turned around again and saw hats - those really cute fluffy ones with animals and pom poms.

Buy one and get one free!

Couple stuff.

No.

He looked some more.

Romantic chocolates.

No.

Couple massage.

No.

“Hyung, should I buy this for Kyungsoo?”

Baekhyun spun around and stared at Kai.

“Kai…that’s a frying pan.”

Kai shrugged and put it back.

“What about this?”

“Kai. That’s a packet of condoms and why are they even in this aisle!”

Kai was a worse present buyer than Baekhyun. Kai was basically a worse everything than Baekhyun.

What Kyungsoo saw in him, Baekhyun would never know.

Kai dragged Baekhyun into a jewellery shop and Baekhyun groaned with all the force of a camel. Kai spotted out something in the glass and the brunette walked over hesitantly.

Couple rings.

He wanted to smash the glass.

“We are not a couple! Are we a couple?! I don’t even know if he likes me! Do I like him?! Do couples like each other?!”

Kai blinked.

Baekhyun cried.

Baekhyun’s brain fried.

Baekhyun’s heart died.

“Hyung…did something happen in the bedroom?”

“NO.”

Baekhyun lied.

“It’s just…”

Baekhyun sighed.

“Nothing. Nevermind. Forget it. No. Nothing.”

Baekhyun denied.

“Whatever.”

…

“I’m buying a ring,” Baekhyun blurted out, “and getting it engraved with jerk.”

In the end, he didn’t care. He didn’t know why he was even feeling this way. On one hand, he and Chanyeol seemed to like each other. Sure – they kissed and Chanyeol totally chewed Luhan out that time and Baekhyun had half a mind to look up what Luhan said and found out that sorry was definitely not what he had said. Sure – Chanyeol liked to tickle the back of his neck when he wasn’t looking, and sometimes hug him around the waist at night when he thought he was asleep. But on the other hand…sure – Chanyeol would call him retard, moron, stupid, cow, , banana, fat-, princess etc. all the time. Sure – he would like to throw the remote at his head, kick him out of the bed when he felt like it, spit water at his hair, step on his toes, make fun of his height, eat his cookies, stretch his clothes, hang out with Kris, hug Luhan, ignore him…

Kai shrugged an ok sure whatever cute lol and Baekhyun wanted to drill himself into the ground and become a mole, never to see daylight again as he handed over the money.

He had bought a ring.

For Chanyeol.

He had purchased a ring as a Christmas gift for Chanyeol.

Rings had symbolism.

Baekhyun wasn’t ready for symbolism.

What was he doing?

Symbolism is bad!

Very bad!

Symbolism was the thing of the dev-

“Sir? Are you okay?”

Baekhyun blushed and grabbed the little bag with the ring and bolted out of the shop.

---

“Merry Christmas!”

No.

Not Merry Christmas.

This was a funeral.

Byun Baekhyun’s funeral.

The friends sat in a circle in the lounge room. Chanyeol had stupidly invited those stupid people called Kris, Luhan, Sehun and let them stupidly sit in the room with them and stupid ugh. Since they had barely enough money to buy presents for everybody, they had decided to buy only one present for a pair.

Kyungsoo and Kai.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

Luhan and Sehun.

Kris and...some guy that looked like a ghost.

Baekhyun shivered as he looked at the pale guy with black eye-bags. He looked like the guy who would murder everybody when they slept.

“Okay. I guess we won’t be so traditional. Just give your gifts,” Kyungsoo’s over-cheerful voice filled the space and Baekhyun groaned and he pulled his feet over to Chanyeol. He took one look at the massive grin on the idiot’s face…

And threw the present at his face.

While Chanyeol cried out in pain at a box in his eye, Baekhyun pushed him over and ran into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

He didn’t want to hear anything.

No no no no no.

No.

No. No.

“Baekhyun bought me condoms!”

Wait.

What.

Baekhyun eyes grew wide as he swung the door open and Chanyeol burst out laughing. He held up the ring, his eyes twinkling and teeth sparkling.

“Gotcha.”

Baekhyun collapsed in humiliation against the door frame. Bashing his head against the wood would feel very nice right now, but he still had a lot of Christmas photos to pose for and he’d rather not have a massive lump on his head like a beluga whale. Chanyeol began to walk over to him and Baekhyun froze, suddenly feeling the urge to slam the door in his face. But he didn’t, and Chanyeol ended up only a couple inches away from him. He felt his face flush and he looked at the floorboards in an attempt to hide it.

“Thank you very much Byun Baekhyun. I love it. And…I have your present.”

Baekhyun looked up. He looked around, but Chanyeol didn’t have anything in his hands. His face scrunched up in confusion.   

Chanyeol spread his arms open like a star, his face about to split in two from the massive grin on his face.

“Me.”

…

In this instant, Baekhyun wished the Mayans were right and that the world would end, right there.

But he couldn’t deny, it was the best gift he could ever have.

---

Baekhyun continued washing the hundredth dish in the soapy water as Chanyeol dried them up – terribly he must add – beside him. They washed up in silence, but Baekhyun couldn't help but notice Chanyeol smiling from ear to ear. And he couldn't help but notice the shiny ring on his index finger. In the end, he hadn’t engraved Jerk into it, so now it was like a commitment ring and he didn’t know what to think about that.

“Baekhyun is too picky.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Baekhyun is too picky and so Chanyeol had the most difficult time buying him something.”

Baekhyun frowned.

“I already told you what I wanted: More hair product, a new lamp, Rise of the Guardians DVD, sdfhjk asdhfjksf and asdhfjk afdjs kfdgjl and gfhj…”

Chanyeol scoffed.

“None of those things are worth my money.”

Baekhyun clapped his hands full of suds into the taller’s face, making it explode everywhere.

“You’re just a cheapskate.”

Chanyeol just smiled.

---

Baekhyun stumbled into the bedroom once everybody had gone home. He’d been undeniably jealous of Chanyeol, who’d tricked his way into sleeping by saying he had a headache while he  was left playing spin the bottle and having to kiss a murderer – ah he meant Luhan. He couldn’t see in the pitch black darkness and he stretched his hands out infront of him, searching for familiarity. He stubbed his toe on something and bit his lip to hold in that oh so joyous scream. When his eyes adjusted, he realised he had kicked a bed. Not their bed. Another bed – in the space that Kyungsoo was mean to put Chanyeol’s bed. He felt around on it and heard the crinkle of paper. He squinted to read it in the moonlight.

Merry Christmas Sleeping Beauty.

Baekhyun realised.

Chanyeol had bought him his own bed. He had actually listen to all those times he complained about Chanyeol kicking him in his sleep, or accidentally drooling on his pillow. Baekhyun skydived into the mattress and stuffed his face into the pillow comfortably. He breathed deeply at the freshness.

He laid there.

For a couple of minutes.

Baekhyun hummed to himself.

He turned this way. He turned that way. He tried starfishing on his stomach, on his back.

Nope.

Baekhyun jumped out of the bed and rolled it over to Chanyeol’s side. The edges of the beds met and Baekhyun crawled back in. He could feel Chanyeol’s warmth and he realised he’d gotten so used to it, that he needed it. He closed his eyes, and smiled.

And reminded himself to wake up at 4 A.M to push the bed away again.

Like that worked last time.   

---

"Oh...a frypan. I...love...it..."

"This is beautiful Hyung...but it's got nothing to do with food. You promised me food. You can use your new frying pan!"

"...why do I love you."

---

"Sehun. This isn't funny. Take this away from me. Now"

"You said you liked the colour red though."

"Sehun. How did you even get through the checkout with this lingerie."

---

"Wanna make out?"

"Excuse me?"

------

Author's Note:

Oh my god guys. Christmas is almost upon us and thus I bring you A beautiful crappy Christmas chapter!

I hope you enjoyed it. I'm sorry I haven't updated in ages! A lot has been happening and i'm tired 24/7...

But at least i've started the next chapter. Maybe it just needed a break.

Anyway, I hope your Christmas will be wonderful!

And if I don't update...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I love you all! <3 

And if you haven't already read it, there's a letter to all my readers in my blog section.

Okay bye bye <3