“When the light from the sun slowly dims, and the mistress of night takes a hold of the sky, there are two silhouettes.

You

And me.”

“The day calls us away with our duties, separates us by invisible forces, by seconds, minutes and hours. It divides us with footsteps, elevators and stone.

But when the light from the sun slowly dims, and the mistress of night takes a hold of the sky, there are two silhouettes.

You

And me.”

“If anything should hold us-”

“Oh my ing god. Shut up.”

Kyungsoo grumbled as he flipped over the page ferociously, almost tearing out the page of his beloved book. Kai continues onto the next page, reciting each line, hand to his chest, pretending to feel the poet’s words, feeling the poet, being the poet.

“You’re being a dickhead, that’s what you are.”

“Ou vous êtes avec nous, ou vous êtes contre nous,” Kai recited in a dramatic voice. Kyungsoo raised an eye brow, and shut his book with a snap.

“Get out.”

“What?”

Kyungsoo pulled himself out of the covers and latched onto Kai’s ankle, dragging the squealing other off the bed until he hit the ground with a thud – and then dragged him some more. They stood face to face at the door.

“Why are you doing this? Don’t you love m-”

Slam.

Kyungsoo retreated back to his previously interrupted haven, revelling in the warmth of the blanket and the cheesiness of the novel…until Kai’s annoying voice broke through the wood of the door and stabbed him in the forehead.

“Kyungsoo! Let me in!”

“No.”

“Was it the French?!”

 “…”

“Kyungsoo baby, if you don’t let me in…”

“You’ll what, Kai? Recite poetry to another poor helpless soul?”

“Poor helpless soul? Who, you?”

Kyungsoo groaned with all the force of a semi-trailer.

“Yes. Me.”

“Poor, maybe. Helpless though – I don’t think so. Gosh, the way you roughed me up last night against the wal-”

“Okay! SHUT UP SHUT UP!”

Kyungsoo fell off the bed and crawled on his hands and knees, hoping for dear god that nobody else was in the house.

The door opened and a fairly devious smile crept onto Kai’s face as he sauntered back into his territory. He childishly jumped onto the bed and Kyungsoo huffed and picked up his book that had fallen onto the floor.

“Can’t deny the truth, can we Hyung?”

Kyungsoo said nothing but let Kai wrap his arms around his waist and snuggle his face into the crook of his neck.

“That book is gayyyyyyy…”

“Kai, if you say another word, I will honestly tie you to the clothesline, sprinkle birdseed on you and leave you there to rot.”

“…gaaayyyy…”

∞

“I don’t like it here.”

“Why not, it’s the beach. The breeze it beautiful, the sun is out, and sand is glistening-”

“-and I just got on.”

“It’s the small things in life that make it worthwhile.”

Luhan, entirely frustrated beyond his wits, bashed the air, growled at the sky and screamed in Chinese at a family passing by who gave him odd stares and trotted by a little faster. Sehun let out an exasperated teenage sigh.

“Is this about Baekhyun?”

“No.”

“This is about Baekhyun isn’t it?”

“No. Now shut up Sehun.”

“Please Hyung, just stop thinking about Ba-”

“THAT BLOODY BYUN BAEKHYUN! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?! HE SHOULD PAY IN BLOODY FOR BEING A FREAKING ANNOYANCE IN THE SCHEME OF SOCIET-”

Sehun ignored Luhan’s battle cry and wimpy little arms breakdancing like a retarded person.

“Lulu…It wasn’t even Baekhyun’s fault. Chanyeol’s the one who’s the idiot…”

“Chanyeol isn’t an idiot, Sehun – well he is – but not this time. Chanyeol is hurt and what does Mr. Smelly Bacon do? Fry a baby chicken instead of an egg!”

“I don’t really understand tha-”

Luhan gave up as he felt all the energy escape from him. He fell back into a huff on his towel and let out a long extended note to calm himself – much to Sehun’s annoyance.

Yeah, sure – it wasn’t exactly Byun Baekhyun’s fault that stupid Park Chanyeol had fallen (clumsily, Luhan may add) head over heels for him. Sure, he kept his hair perfect, his eyeliner crisp and his vocals could probably even make the 86-year-old, grumpy cat woman who lived next door get down on one crooked knee and propose.

Who was to say that they didn’t deserve each other?

Luhan.

What was to say that Baekhyun and Chanyeol could actually have a good relationship?

Luhan.

Who could even deny that Chanyeol deserved somebody like Baekhyun instead of themselves?

Kris actually. That narcissist.   

“You know what Sehun?”

Sehun crinkled his nose.

“Pie becomes less appealing to eat once it appears in math?”

“That too. But hearing that Chanyeol basically rejected Baekhyun – after everybody knows so disgustingly, that he wants to be with him, pisses me off. Maybe I was trying to protect Chanyeol too much. I don’t want the past to affect something that might…not be a mistake. Sehun – I think we need to help Baekhyun. We need to get them together.”

“Luhan, is this because you want to get Baekhyun out of our apartment?”

“YES! GOD HE WON’T STOP CRYING AND SOBBING AND USING ALL MY HAIR PRODUCT!”

“Well I don’t find him that annoying.”

“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE STAYING AT KRIS’ YOU TEEN!”

And with that, Luhan hung up.

∞

“How long are you going to watch that?”

Tao didn’t even blink at Kris’ question.

“Baby.”

“Yes, Miss?”

“…Kris…And can you please change the station?”

“Why?” Tao let out a slight whine, yet his face stayed perfectly concentrated –and still scary as hell- on the T.V.

Kris grumbled under his breath, afraid that the Wushu-practising-ninja would somewhat split his perfectly formed face in two with the remote he held in his delicate hands.

“Just change it onto something we can at least both watch?”

Tao blinked.

Holy , Kris thought.

What had he done? This was it – he knew what was coming next.

He was not ready.

“, Tao. Baby. I’m sorry. Just leave it on home shop-”

Tao slowly turned in his chair, with all the eeriness of a cursed stone statue.

“Tao…Tao listen! I’m sorry. Ta-”

And then Tao unleased his strongest attack.

The Pout.

Kris seized up. His mind went numb. Everything went black.

Sehun sat in the corner of the living room, pencil already in hand and drew a line in his book.

“Tao wins again.”

Kris groaned into a cushion.

“It’s not fair he has that attack! It’s not fair! He’s too strong!”

Sehun rolled his eyes.

“Oh please, Miss Kris, you’re not that far behind.”

Kris perked up.

Sehun counted on his fingers.

“Yep. Just 52 more to go.”

∞

“I feel a little guilty.”

“Don’t worry, Kris will be fine.”

Tao crinkled his nose and sighed as he shuffled deeper in the blanket. Sehun smiled as he soon drifted off to sleep. And Kris continued to cry as he lay defeated on the cold floor – never to feel the warmth of his beloved bed –or Tao’s y body- ever again.

“Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun. Exterminate the Sehun....”

∞

When Baekhyun’s brain eventually found its way home, there wasn’t a mere scrap of I wish to torment myself by thinking of how many possible ways my life could have turned out better in his head left to torture himself with. It was just simply full of air – as is Kai’s and Kris’s, yet somehow they have made it through life without a brain, thus Baekhyun will studies these creatures and learn their ways – what makes them who they are? Why are these animals without will and knowledge able to find perfect mates in the wild? Thus Baekhyun began to research these rare cases – a experiment which turned horribly wrong-

“Baekhyun! Please PLEASE please Please pleeeassseee pleaseeeeee – stop eating everything in the fridge, simply because it’s edible.”

Baekhyun ignored the constant mothering (ahhh, something he didn’t miss about his teenage years) and continued to scoff the donuts that Kyungsoo had oh I wasn’t trying to hide them secretly stored in the fridge. He took a rather big bite and stopped.

“Oh ,” Kai stopped reading his manga as he realised.

Kyungsoo flew into a panic as he quickly raced into the bedroom, his voice rang through the air and Kai scrambled over the top of the lounge.

“Quick! Quick Kai! It’s happening again!”

“I THINK I CAN SEE THAT!”

“Oh my god! Get the tissues!”

“I don’t know where they are! Where did you put them?!”

The two kicked furniture and knocked over chairs as they sprinted around.

Baekhyun simply sat quietly.

“WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!”

“I KNOW I KNOW! JUST HURRY!”

“IT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN! GET HIS PHONE!

“SHUUTTTT UPPPPP I’MMM TRRYIINN-”

His scream was interrupted by a sudden dying whale noise, vibrating through the apartment. This so happened to be Baekhyun.

Crying.

Kyungsoo ran to his side with the tissues. Baekhyun snatched out a dozen and plastered them to his face. Though they stuck to his tears, they did nothing to stop the ugly gurgling noise that was his somewhat haunting sobbing.

“Kai! Kai! Do you have his phone?!”

“Safe and sound!”

“I WANNNNAAA CAAAALLLL CHHHHAAANNNYYEEEOOOLLLL!!!!!”

The request was similar to that of a kid throwing a tantrum because she couldn’t have the overly priced candy in the superstore that they’d had their eye on and wanted for all of about 5 minutes.

Baekhyun snatched for his phone that Kai teasingly danged over his head – also causing him to receive the stare of a thousand deaths from so-named Kyungsoo the Killer.

454215131854561 hours later after World War VII and the destruction of the planet we call Earth, Baekhyun had finished crying.

“I don’t know how much longer this can go on,” Kyungsoo sighed as he lay on his boyfriend’s chest, “They weren’t even going out.”

“Well they could have been, if A was a little more forceful and B was a little bit more willing to take it in the .”

“I don’t want to think about it that way, Kai.”

“No wonder Luhan gave him back.”

“He’s like that useless and annoying Christmas present that people keep re-wrapping and giving back. And where’s Chanyeol run off to anyway?”

“I don’t know, Kris hasn’t said anything. Then again, I don’t remember speaking to him.”

“…”

“Well you see, I thought I called his number, except I got like, distracted and something happened I don’t remember.”

“…”

Kai smiled and Kyungsoo had the biggest urge to punch him in the face – with his mouth…softly.

Spew.

The older snuggled into his blankets and turned the lamp off.

“We should probably go find him though.”

“Who?”

“Chanyeol…”

“Is he missing?”

“…Goodnight Kai.”

“Night babe.”

“……………nightbaekhyun……………”

[insert pathetic whimpering]

[end of scene]