“You don’t mind if I move all your beauty pageant products to make room for some of my stuff, do you?”

“Hnn…”

“And your secret stash of Girl’s Generation posters is actually taking up a lot of room.”

“Hnn…”

“…Baekhyun are you even listening to me?”

“Yes mom. I’ll eat the hotdog later.”

Chanyeol eyed Baekhyun suspiciously. What exactly was that guy thinking? Usually he’d be the first to flare up whenever he insulted him, or reply with some sort of lame response like uhh…ahjfhfdsf.. or Yes mom. I’ll eat the hotdog-. Well it was different this time. The brunette was simply just standing there, in their room like a zombie. Chanyeol wanted to grab the biggest stick he could find and just whack the retard over the head. Why was he just standing there anyway – it was creeping him out…

“Why are you standing there…”

Don’t forget to insult him

“…moron?”

The brunette just stared at him.

Okay. Well. The guy’s clearly retarded. Chanyeol left the brainless goldfish in the bedroom as he jogged outside to collect some more of his boxes. He found Kyungsoo in the kitchen (of course) no doubt being forced to make something for his boyfriend’s never ending stomach.

“Heeyyyyyyy y lad-”

“Don’t.”

Chanyeol laughed as he hopped up onto a chair at the counter, cooling his long arms on the cold sparkly granite-top. Kyungsoo glanced up at him for a second while he hugged a fire-engine-red bowl in one arm and stirred the batter profusely with the other. For as long as Chanyeol could remember, he still did that really cute expression where stuck his tongue out slightly of the corner of his mouth in concentration. He gave his tired arm a rest and finally focused his attention on the tall figure at the counter.

“Kai won’t stop singing it. It’s getting on my nerves.”

Chanyeol couldn’t help but snort unattractively at the other’s face, scrunched up in a little ball of angry donut. But seriously, who couldn’t laugh at someone whose eyes didn’t exactly change from being golf ball when they were mad. It was like he had Botox in his eyes or something...

Isn’t that a little painful.

Dude – it was a simile.

I think it’s pronounced ‘smile’…

No…I said simile…

Go back to school you stupid dinosaur.

W-what? I just…ugh!!!

“Everything alright, Chanyeol? You look a little- your eye is twitching…again.”

Chanyeol pouted as he laid his head against the cool countertop. That stupid twitch. He’d been going pretty well for a while, starting over since Luhan and everything…again…and now the stupid signs that he was falling all over again were starting the show – talking to himself, not being able to control his temper…that twitch. He sighed and watched as his breath smothered a small portion of the black granite in a quickly dissipating layer of white. Change the topic. Now. 

“Did you drop Luhan-hyung off okay?”

The wide-eyed donut nodded as he hummed to himself, opening a packet of caramel and milk choc-chips and empting them into the mixture. While he folded in the chocolate, he appeared to be thinking to himself. Chanyeol waited, bug-eyed at how he was still managing to do something productive while he thought to himself – if only he could do that.  He leant back in his chair without his until his legs no longer reached the floor. He nearly fell of before he succeeded.

“Chanyeol.”

“Yeah man?”
 

“Does Baekhyun like someone right now?”

…

This guy really does have no idea…

Just be cool.

Pretend like you’re not interested.

“I dunno. Probably.”

“Yeah. I think he likes Luhan.”

Ahahhahahhahahahahhahahahaahahahahhahhahhahahahahhahahahaahahahaahhahahahahhahahahaahahaha....

Wait.

No! He likes me!

“I’m not too sure about that Hyung.”

“Wait how did you read my thou-…”

You said out loud.

Oh. .

“Yeah you did…”

“Wait- wha-…”

STOP THINKING ALOUD.

“…”

“…”

“…Did I say anything just now?”

“No?”

Chanyeol let out an exasperated sigh and flopped onto the hard counter. His fingers accidentally landed in the batter and Kyungsoo screamed and snatched the bowl away as if a dirty old man was trying to touch his baby. Chanyeol didn’t even care.

He was going freaking insane.

Just give him a couple more days to live…

Then he was going to a mental institution.

Goodbye world.

Goodbye sunlight.

Goodbye Kyungsoo’s cooking.

Goodbye Baekhyun.

He recovered himself from goodbye cruel world position as he heard Kai shuffle into the kitchen. He watched the tanned boy sniff like some sort of rabid animal towards his boyfriend’s cooking and snorted as the elder whacked the other over the head with the end of the spoon as he stuck his fingers in the mixture to taste-test. He laughed at the domesticated retards. Then Kyungsoo turned his head towards Chanyeol again, trying to speak while desperately saving his baby from being eaten from the teenage zombie.

“Kai, I was telling Chanyeol that I think Baekhyun likes Luhan.”

Kai almost spat in the mixture. He was obviously surprised that his boyfriend could be so stupid. Chanyeol let out a monstrous laugh and  slapped the table in a hysterical fit – he didn’t hear the muttered are you serious? And shut up Kai you’re ruining it…and the following oh…whoops. He returned his focus to the pair, who just happened to be staring at him – like they’d said something serious that wasn’t meant to be laughed at – one of those oh…you weren’t joking right now? moments...

Awkward.

Kyungsoo continued to stir the batter – how much longer was he going to do that?! – while trying to push Kai’s greedy y-grabbing hands away with a knee to a certain area.

“Baekhyun was really quiet when Luhan came into the car, wasn’t he Kai.”

“Yes. He was.”

“And on the beach, I thought he was a little nervous when Luhan was sitting next to him, don’t you Kai?”

“Yes. He was.”

“And Luhan’s quite attractive too, isn’t he? He doesn’t have this twitchy eye problem or-”

“Oh my god shut up.”

Chanyeol ripped off a handful of leaves from the closest house plant and threatened to drop them into the batter if the evil duo didn’t stop. What were they up to anyway? The Dongsaeng-with-the-endless-stomach and the mom-stuck-in-the-wrong-body were starting to piss him off.

Freaking hell. Why were they even talking about Luhan anyway.

No.

Why were they talking to him about Baekhyun liking Luhan?

Which he didn’t.

Not that he cared who he liked anyway.

But it was him anyway.

He liked him.

Not that he cared.

Baekhyun could like Luhan if he wanted.

Not that he did.

Not that Chanyeol cared.

Because he liked him.

Not that he cared.

Chanyeol.

Shut up.

“You guys are freaking liars. Luhan has Sehun anyway and…,” the giant pulled himself out of the kitchen chair, “Baekhyun basically kisse-uh I mean…it’s obvious he likes m-….uh…I don’t think he likes Luhan.”

Kai smirked.

“Is he responding to your insults?”

“…well…n-no but-”

“Chanyeol’s lost him, Kai. I knew Baekhyun wouldn’t stay in love with a jerk for long. Luhan’s much nicer.”

Chanyeol tried to fight the harsh words rising in his throat.

I’m nice! I can be nice!

Joke of the day.

Hey, most jokes of the day .

So do the people who tell them.

…I hate you.

“I can be nice! I’m not a total jerk you know!”

Okay. Now he was just flat out lying.

Kyungsoo and Kai tried to unsuccessfully hide their obvious giggles. Ugh. Who needed those idiots anyway? He stormed from the kitchen into the bedroom, leaving the squabbling pair of baboons fighting over the cookie batter.

He could be nice.

Why the hell are you trying so hard to be nice?

Because apparently I’m not as nice as Luhan.

That’s never bothered you before.

Yeah! Well!

I think somebody’s jealoussssssssss……

Go die!

“Why exactly do you want me to die?”

Baekhyun stared at him straight in the face.

Oh . He did it again.

Remember…

Be nice.

“Oh hi there…Baekhyun-ah…That wasn’t for you…”

The brunette simply shrugged as continued flipping through…was that a girl’s fashion magazine?

Oh my god what a gay- be nice!

“You’re looking very…”

Baekhyun glanced up at him.

“very…uh…”

Nice. Nice.

What’s a nice adjective?!

His hair was styled really well today…

The brown shone really beautifully, and the tones were vibrant against his flawless skin.

“Beautiful brown and white. Good.”

“…”

Aaaaaaaaaaannnnnndddddd nice goes down the drain. Along with short and elegant.

“Anyway…” The shorter perked up, surprisingly not clawing the wall in an attempt to get away from the weird tall freak, “I have to ask you something.”

“Yeah?” 

See? He was still interested in himNOTTHATHECARED.

“What’s Luhan-hyung like?”

Oh snap.

-----

Author's Note:

Okay. I really really REALLY HONESTLY TRULY SINCERELY would like to apologise.

Because it's taken me so long to update. 

I've really had no inspiration and I get really sad if I'm writing something

that seems poor in quality. 

Forgive me (again?)

Here's some KyungsooNuts. :P