T/W underage drinking

Right after I left Jimin in our room because of what happened. I found myself sitting on my favorite spot. The roof.

I choose to go away from Jimin because I need to think about things.

I was deep in my own thoughts.

" Jaehee, What's wrong with you?! Who said you're allowed to do those? She's not yours. Ugh. Why does it have to be this hard?"

I need to get some ground rules here. I need to limit myself.

NO to kissing her forehead/hair,

No to snuggling,

No sweet gestures,

No double meaning words

Don't tell her she's a beauty every morning;

Don't let her nag on you.

 Keep your distance.

This is all for the best. For Monday and for Jay. And also for our friendship.

But I know somehow, these boundaries are what I wished for a long time ago to cross. The Friendship line.

Another part of being her best friend is no matter how painful it might be, is accepting my limitations.

I know it's wrong. But Jimin provoked me with her kind and sweet gestures. Until I'll remember that she's not single. That the girl that I was pinning down our bed moments ago is already taken. And the one who owns her is my friend.

So I've decided to avoid her. To think. And for her to have to with Jay. I feel guilty because these past few days, it looks like she's not with Jay at all. And I know I'm the reason why, because we're always together.

I knew that purposely ignoring Jimin is a mistake. I know too that I'll hurt her.

I've been ignoring her since, I've been dodging her calls, I'll go home late either from school or practices so that she will not notice me and my only excuse is, "I still want to improve Or PD-nim gave me a work to do" but the truth is I want to breathe away from her.

As much as possible, I'll never talk to her, and be near her. Because I can't stop myself and the next time that we're near each other, I won't have the strength to fight my own demons.

I don't want her to get confused, and I swear that I saw that confusion in her face when I pinned her down that bed while I'm summoning every nerve in my body to stop me from kissing her.

I don't like this.....

I didn't dream this for myself...

I can't picture myself stealing her from Jay.

She ain't mine...

..............................

"Woah, is that you Lee Jaehee from Weeekly? This is unbelievable." I was greeted by Yoon, my friend from the girl group StayC as soon as I arrived at the house party.

It's been a long time since we last met.

"Is that how you greet your sunbae?  Tsk. Tsk." I said as I give her a quick hug.

"What do you expect? You stood up for me so many times. Don't expect there's party popper and red carpets that I'll prepare for you." She said while sulking.

"Haha. Sorry, we've been super busy this year."

"Are you guys just going to talk there? C'mon, sit here before someone else notice you. It's too early for people to have pictures with us."

May from Cherry Bullet, J from StayC, and Sohee from Rocket Punch. Basically I'm at party with 03 and 04 line. So I'm with Jihan right now, just don't know where she's at.

"Hey everyone." I greeted them then bowed 90 degrees then sat beside Yoon.

"By the way, Happy Congrats on winning rookie of the year," J welcomed me.

"Ahh, thank you. Same with you. Congrats on debuting" I said shyly and took a sip from my drink.

"But wow, we really appreciate you for working hard this year." Yoon said.

I just came here because I just want someone to talk with, with a different atmosphere. Also with the invitation

I must be disturbing Jiyoon unnie, Soeun unnie, and Hyewon about my ed up stated but Soeun unnie has her own problems with Soojin unnie.

Jihyo needs Hyewon sometimes

While Jiyoon unnie...

Well, I'm really shy to her every time we'll talk, and talk about my problems with Jimin. And she's been too kind to listen to all my rants and that's why I would like her to take a rest for listening to all my problems.

We're drinking and partying...

I sat down heavily breathing.