Last night went well for me and Jiyoon unnie. We eat for dinner and watched a movie. She's a good distraction but I felt guilty that I was just using her to distract myself from Jimin

I don't want to lie to her so I told her when we're walking going back to our dorm. Our car broke down and we badly want to go home. Good thing the dorm is just close to the one that we went to. And It gives us more time to talk more. If we're at the dorm. For sure they're just going to tease us.

"Jiyoon unnie?"

"Yes, Jelly?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what? You've been apologizing all day. Are you a Saint??"

"I'm guilty"

"Of what? Don't cut it."

"I'm distracting myself from Jimin unnie. And you're my distraction."

"Haha. Is that a good thing or bad?"

"I don't know you, judge. Am I really that bad because I'm using you?" I looked down in shame of myself.

She held my hand.

"Hey, I don't know if it's a good bad, or bad thing either but. But I'm your friend Jaehee, and the works of a friend are to distract or annoy their friend for being broken-hearted right?"

"And I'm happy that our job is going on a good thing. I to distract you. Hyewon to give you food. And Soeun to annoy you" then she laughed as if it's the funniest joke ever.

I am thankful because the guilt inside of me is now gone. That night I wished that I had fallen in love with Jiyoon instead of Jimin. So that I'm not hurting anymore. There are no bad times with Jiyoon unnie. There is no pain when I'm with her. I feel like I need Jiyoon more.

Then she run and grabbed my arm. We can see our dorm already

"C'mon, run with me Jaehee, I forgot my key to the dorm inside of my car. Pali pali! Look while there's still a light in the kitchen, maybe someone's still awake so that they can open the door for us."

.............

Weeks after that, I have to wake up early to have my daily routine and practice with members. I'm with all of them, but mostly with Jiyoon unnie and Soeun unnie. Hyewon and JIhyo got closer since. Sometimes, we're letting Soeun unnie be with her girlfriend because we can see that she's not having quality time with her anymore because of me.

Me and Jimin? We're fine, she's always talking to Jay on the phone, so we're back again too. Sometimes Jay would be here and she's sleeping next to Jimin at the guest room.

So the bed is ing big again!

Sometimes I don't want to sleep in the bed too. So I'm sleeping on the floor, for real, I'll set up a sleeping bag and will sleep there. My back is hurting because the floor is hard. But the bed is too big for me alone. And seeing it empty before I go to sleep breaks my heart.

But we're kinda okay, me and Jimin unnie are bonding too, but with Jay sometimes. It hurts but I can handle it, at least the friendship is still there. Then I heard Jiyoon unnie scolding Soeun unnie.

"Yah! Soeun! Please get away from Me and Jaehee. Look, your girlfriend is there alone, and you're leaving her alone like that?"

"Yah! You're being rude again. Of course 'Friends before Girlfriend' is our motto, Soojin will understand us."

"Baby, can you please come here, these little kids are thinking that I'm leaving you alone. Am I a bad girlfriend? I'm not, right?" Soeun unnie asked Soojin unnie pouting

"Hmmmm. Not really but I'm having a feeling that they're becoming your girlfriends." Soojin unnie joked to her girlfriend.

Then we burst into laughter, Jimin is not here. She went out to have dinner with Jay, I guess. I think it's they're celebrating or something.

Then I thought about what Soeun unnie said that 'Friends before girlfriends'. There's a motto like that then why didn't she apply it to us? I shake my head in disbelief.

"Up until now Jaehee?" then I sighed, It still hurts because it won't decrease it looks like the pain is increasing, looks like the last time is I'm avoiding it so that I won't wort. But now, I'm going out with both of them, playing and teasing with them. Someone told me to face my fears. I'll get used to it. In time...

Then I remembered that I need something from Jimin so I called her. I don't like to disturb them but I really need my book that she borrowed.

"he... Hello, Jimin unnie?"

"Oh? Jaehee-yah, why did you call? Did you miss me? Haha, we'll go home later, we haven't bought a ticket for the movie."

"Ah. No. No. Unnie remember the book that you borrowed a few months ago?