There was nothing much to do, Chaeyoung went home.

It is not easy to drain Chaeyoung's energy out. Chaeyoung does not give up easily, she always expects the best outcome. For her, nothing is ever that hard or complicated or impossible.

Take Mina for example. Her new roommate at that time was completely rude, homophobic, and mean. But Chaeyoung did not mind, she was going to befriend her, and that she did. What came after that is another story. But the point is, Chaeyoung gets what she sets herself up for.

Right now, though, Chaeyoung was meeting another side of her, one that she had never had to experience before, she was feeling negative, tired, unmotivated, meaningless, Chaeyoung was not having a good time dealing with her broken heart and feelings. Chaeyoung couldn't understand why anything was happening, she felt sorry for herself, and at the same time, she hated to be feeling that. It was a never-ending cycle of emotions.

Getting home was the first step to overcome that. Chaeyoung likes winter break, being home is always nice. It was hard, though, to finish her last evaluations. For a moment there she had given up everything, which now when she remembered it was quite embarrassing. She barely passed her exam but if it weren't for Tzuyu, she wouldn't even have given it.

The last challenge she had to pass in order to get home was Momo. Chaeyoung could be sad and unmotivated but when it came to that particular thought, the only thing she could feel was anger and frustration, Chaeyoung was still completely angry at Momo, she was sure that if it wasn't for her, she could've talked to Mina and things would have been really different. So one day when she had everything packed up ready to leave and she felt the door, it was not pleasant to see the girl standing there.

As much as she would like to scream at her a few things, she just pushed the door closed as first reaction but it didn't close as Nayeon's hand avoided it.

"Chaengie, I'll need you to be civil now," Nayeon said getting inside the quite empty room followed by Momo and Sana, who was pushing Momo in.

Chaeyoung was hating the whole sight of this, she didn't want to hear whatever Momo had to say for herself and the fact that Nayeon was there asking for it was even worse. "I always am," Chaeyoung turned back at them, "Now please leave my room," she smiled accordingly for just a second.

There was nothing much to do, Chaeyoung went home.

It is not easy to drain Chaeyoung's energy out. Chaeyoung does not give up easily, she always expects the best outcome. For her, nothing is ever that hard or complicated or impossible.

Take Mina for example. Her new roommate at that time was completely rude, homophobic, and mean. But Chaeyoung did not mind, she was going to befriend her, and that she did. What came after that is another story. But the point is, Chaeyoung gets what she sets herself up for.

Right now, though, Chaeyoung was meeting another side of her, one that she had never had to experience before, she was feeling negative, tired, unmotivated, meaningless, Chaeyoung was not having a good time dealing with her broken heart and feelings. Chaeyoung couldn't understand why anything was happening, she felt sorry for herself, and at the same time, she hated to be feeling that. It was a never-ending cycle of emotions.

Getting home was the first step to overcome that. Chaeyoung likes winter break, being home is always nice. It was hard, though, to finish her last evaluations. For a moment there she had given up everything, which now when she remembered it was quite embarrassing. She barely passed her exam but if it weren't for Tzuyu, she wouldn't even have given it.

The last challenge she had to pass in order to get home was Momo. Chaeyoung could be sad and unmotivated but when it came to that particular thought, the only thing she could feel was anger and frustration, Chaeyoung was still completely angry at Momo, she was sure that if it wasn't for her, she could've talked to Mina and things would have been really different. So one day when she had everything packed up ready to leave and she felt the door, it was not pleasant to see the girl standing there.

As much as she would like to scream at her a few things, she just pushed the door closed as first reaction but it didn't close as Nayeon's hand avoided it.

"Chaengie, I'll need you to be civil now," Nayeon said getting inside the quite empty room followed by Momo and Sana, who was pushing Momo in.

Chaeyoung was hating the whole sight of this, she didn't want to hear whatever Momo had to say for herself and the fact that Nayeon was there asking for it was even worse. "I always am," Chaeyoung turned back at them, "Now please leave my room," she smiled accordingly for just a second.

Nayeon sighed and turned to Sana. "I told you, it's useless."

Sana pushed Momo on the shoulder, "Come on," she said.

Chaeyoung was sure this was all Sana's idea, she was sure Momo had no intention of apologizing. How could she? She was certain that Chaeyoung was awful and she had done it all for Mina's sake. 'then how come Mina is now somewhere probably suffering alone enduring her witch of a mother or probably forced to-' Chaeyoung had not realized but she was breathing differently just by thinking all that, she was angry, she was getting furious and getting her to feel these kinds of things it is not easy at all. Her thoughts were interrupted by the source of her anger.

"I wanted to-" But Momo didn't get to finish as Chaeyoung threw herself at her without thinking. She just wanted to hurt her, or that she felt, the truth is Chaeyoung was not like that, she didn't mean to hurt anyone ever.

She didn't get to touch Momo, though, as Nayeon immediately got in between them and contained enraged tiny Chaeyoung by hugging her. Chaeyoung kept fighting. "Let me go," she tried pushing Nayeon away. "She did this, it's all her fault!"

"She knows, smartass, that's why she's here." Nayeon was stronger than Chaeyoung but she was not giving up. "Stop fighting now, you won't beat me, actually what were you planning to do? Just pulling her hair or something?"

"I don't know!" Chaeyoung managed to set free from Nayeon's hold as this one let go a bit. "Just take her away."

At that moment Momo tried to speak once more but Chaeyoung reacted again and this time Nayeon had a harder time capturing her. "Chaeyoungie, stop!" Nayeon held her tight trying to calm her down. Momo moved backward and Sana took her hand. "You may look fierce but stop this, it's nonsense, nothing will get better if you hurt her, you know that."

"I'm just mad!" Chaeyoung insisted looking angrily at Nayeon who had captured both her arms.

"I know that, don't you think I was mad too? But that won't take us anywhere, you know that."

Chaeyoung just tried to breathe in and out at a normal pace. Once she looked better, Nayeon let go of her.

"It's normal you are reacting like this," Sana talked to Chaeyoung for the first time. Chaeyoung liked hearing Sana. "Your feelings have been all over the place, you barely can recognize yourself, I know how it feels."

It was true. Somehow Sana always knew how to word Chaeyoung's moods. She had not liked she had reacted like that, but it was difficult to control it. Everything she had been doing or feeling was hard to identify, she was just so hurt.

Nayeon grabbed Chaeyoung's shoulders and moved her carefully to sit on one of the beds as she talked, "Now, let's start again, alright? I'm sure Momo will be more than willing to let you pull her hair after you hear whatever she's planned to say but you'll have to keep still for a while, got it?"

Chaeyoung was still on edge, but then Nayeon was looking at her in that way that she had no other option but to accept. Her friend sat beside her, though, and kept one hand on her back. Chaeyoung felt better, Nayeon was on her side, of course she was.

As the room seemed to have calmed down, Sana took a sit at Chaeyoung's other side and signaled at Momo to carry on. It made Chaeyoung wonder if they had rehearsed this or something.

An awkward silence took place so Chaeyoung got more pissed. "Won't you say anything? Why is it so hard for you? I bet this two dragged you here."

"Chaeyoung, Momo is-"

"Can't she speak for herself?!" Chaeyoung got up suddenly.

"I can," Momo said looking directly at Chaeyoung's eyes. "I can and I will, just- it's embarrassing, alright?" Chaeyoung got surprised. She sat down again. "I'm sorry I hurt you." Was the first thing Momo apologized for, but Chaeyoung didn't like that.

"I don't care that you hurt me." Chaeyoung tried to get up again but Nayeon grabbed her shirt pulling her down immediately.

"Would you let me speak or what?" Momo asked annoyed now. "I was not dragged here either. It was hard, yes, but I knew I had to see you eventually." That shut Chaeyoung up again, Momo was not afraid of her one bit. "I didn't mean physically, I know I hurt you beyond that, you and Mina, I know, I'm stupid, is that better?"

"That's no apology," Sana interrupted.

Momo huffed and moved in her place a bit. "Okay, but I just- she won't believe me, I- what I did has no justification and I know that, so I'm sorry, now I regret it, but there's nothing I can do to fix it now, so it's okay if you don't forgive me, but I truly regret it."

"Nothing you can do?" Chaeyoung frowned at her and got up, this time no one stopped her. "Have you even talked to Mina? Have you seen her? Did you explain to her anything? 'Cause I tried, but that won't do and she was- she was shaking, crying and completely lost just because she ended up telling her mother, she had no reason to do that, I didn't ask her that, never, I know how dangerous it can be but she was feeling so-" Chaeyoung stopped for a second, she was spitting this at Momo way too fast, "All because of you! She felt heartbroken twice! first when you rejected her just because without explanation and then when you just had to try and defend her honor in the most pathetic way ever! And all because of what? Because you like her and you were never brave enough to say it to her? That's not my fault! She was terrified! You didn't see her, you-"

"Chaeyoungie," Nayeon had got up too and hugged her again. Nayeon talked softly caressing her back. Chaeyoung was crying.

"She is hurt, I know," Chaeyoung cried in Nayeon's shoulder. "I don't want- I don't want her to-"

Weak. Chaeyoung felt weak. Even if people kept telling her otherwise, she hated how sensitive she was. She was arguing with Momo, how the hell did she end up crying? She found it pathetic.

"I will," Momo whispered. "I'll talk to her, I do understand now, how she feels for you, I saw it."

Chaeyoung sniffed and tried to clean her tears as if they didn't matter and looked at Momo again. "Now you know I didn't force her to do anything?"

"That was stupid. And it's true," Momo got closer to Chaeyoung. "That you love her, it's true, I could see it. And she... she feels for you so much it's- I'm jealous, okay? I'm jealous, I was jealous, I- I couldn't help it, but I'll talk to her, that's all I can do now, I'm sorry, I never meant to do you any wrong, ever, I just got so inside my head, I didn't realize how much people I was hurting over that." Momo seemed honest and Chaeyoung got what she was saying. She was not going to forgive her or forget what had happened, but at least she understood a bit and it's not like she hated Momo. "I didn't- I don't have anything against you, It was just jealously and I hated it, it feels awful."

Chaeyoung took a while to answer. "I don't hate you either." That was all she said.

Momo nodded and both Nayeon and Sana decided it had been enough, maybe in another time or when Momo had actually talked to Mina, they could all fix their problems. They left. And even if it had been quite an intense exchange of words and emotions, Chaeyoung felt a bit relieved. Less burdened. She had taken out her anger towards Momo and maybe Mina could feel a bit relieved too when Momo confirmed to her what had actually happened.

After that Chaeyoung finally got home. She loves home, she would just stay there and get up every day quite early to get to classes, but then, the dorms were nice too and since Nayeon was there, Chaeyoung took the change and it's been great too. Still, when she gets back home it's really nice.

Both her mother and father received her with the longest hugs ever and even her brother hugged her a bit for then return to play video games losing interest in her sister's arrival really quickly.

The warm embraces made Chaeyoung feel better, she had been so much with her feelings, she had started to forget the other sides of life, her family being a really good one. She knew she needed to start getting back on track, it was just hard, but with her family now, it seemed less complicated.

It was no problem for both her parents to realize something was off with her dearest daughter after a few hours of sharing and then as the days passed it was more evidently. Chaeyoung didn't talk about it, though, even if they had tried to get it out of her, she just didn't feel like talking about it. She was going to be okay on her own.

But that thought differed from the one everyone had. Chaeyoung was not left alone at all.

On the afternoon of Christmas Eve, Chaeyoung was upstairs in her room. A tiny yet comfortable room. Decorated with her childhood preferences of colors and accordingly to her fears; Chaeyoung's room had a lot of night lamps, sticky luminous stars, and even a stars projector. She used to be a space kid, no judging.

Since the sun was still shining outside, she didn't have those , she was actually sitting on the bed with her phone. A big mistake. A habit she had accustomed these days. Looking at this one picture of Mina she had, whenever she felt the most like missing her, she stared at it.

Her mother got in with clean laundry interrupting her melodramatic state of melancholy, she has a thing for the dramatic. Chaeyoung turned the phone upside down.

"I saw that." Her mother's words made her flopped down on the bed hiding her face against the mattress. The woman started folding clothes. Chaeyoung didn't mind her family knowing, she just didn't want to talk about it, at least she thought that would be better. "Is that the girl you told us about?"

Chaeyoung had talked about Mina before, way before they were something, and then when they were, she didn't explain that but she had told them she had met someone and that she was happy. So she turned the phone around showing the picture, lifting her head she looked at it too. It was a cute picture, she smiled at the memory.

Mina had been playing with Chaeyoung's Nintendo. Mina usually took whatever games she played quite seriously and that time had been no exception, actually, she looked the most focused Chaeyoung had ever seen her and it was super adorable, so she grabbed her phone and took a picture in secret but failed awfully. She had the flash on, Mina realized what she was doing and complained. Final result? They ended up making out and the picture was forgotten as well as the game. It was now a sad picture, a sad memory.

"She's pretty," her mother said and Chaeyoung groaned hiding her face again. "Sweetie, it hurts me seeing you so sad." Chaeyoung felt how her mother that sat beside her started caressing her head.

"Mina," Chaeyoung felt her mother deserved to know more than what she probably already could figure out on her own. "Her name is Mina."

The woman hummed. "Did you break Mina's heart?" Chaeyoung frowned at the question, how could her mother ask that and not the other way around, she got up from the bed, she was going to complain.

"Why would you think that?"

Her mother had a tiny smile on her face. 'oh she's playing with me' "It doesn't matter who hurt who, if you care for that person, even if you are the one hurting them, it hurts you."

Chaeyoung was not sure that answered her question exactly, but it was true either way. She reflected on that and then sat again supporting her head on her mother's shoulder. "I guess we are hurting, then."

They stayed there for a while and she got a few questions, Chaeyoung ended up explaining the situation they were in now, without much detail, but she was glad her mother now knew about what had happened and why she was so sad.

"I just don't understand," Chaeyoung's mother said. "How can a mother not accept her child and love them just as they are." You could see the confusion and worry on her face. Then she turned to Chaeyoung and ruffled her hair. "You are really lucky, you know that?" She said jokingly.

Chaeyoung smiled and hugged her tightly. "I know." It was true. Chaeyoung felt so loved. For a moment her heart did not feel that heavy. Her mother invited her downstairs to help with dinner and she felt less sad for the rest of the day. When she got to bed, she got sad thoughts again, but they were less intense, she just sighed and turned to try and sleep. 'Merry Christmas, Mina' she wished for the girl to have had a good day too.

Chaeyoung did not only have an amazing family but her friends had decided to take it upon themselves to be by her side the most they could. That's why now a couple of days after Christmas, Chaeyoung was going down the stairs skillfully to hurry and take Dahyun away from her parents. They just loved the girl. Well, they also loved Nayeon and Tzuyu but Dahyun was without saying their favorite.

Dahyun had not let Chaeyoung know she had already arrived. Chaeyoung just got to hear her parents laughing and that's how she knew and flew down the stairs.

"Hey," she said trying to interrupt their moment. "You got here."

"Changiee!" Dahyun turned and gave her a big asphyxiating hug. "You grew smaller!"

"Dahyun, you can't grow-"

"Ohh!" Dahyun interrupted her words and turned to Chaeyoung's parents once again. "Well, thanks for having me here, this one just happens to miss me a lot."

"You are always welcome," Chaeyoung's father smiled.

"Oh, we love to have you here, besides, she clearly needs to cheer up."

"Right, okay." Chaeyoung for some reason got uncomfortable whenever her parents acted that way around Dahyun. Maybe she was just a jealous daughter. "Let's go up now."

Both girls left for Chaeyoung's room. Although Dahyun made sure to wave at both adults smiling at them downstairs.

As accustomed not only in the room of the dorms but also here, Dahyun flopped on the bed sighing. "Comfy."

"So," Chaeyoung sat in a corner. "It's your turn today."

"Ah!" Dahyun moved energetically and crossed her legs on the bed. "You figured out the system."

"Of course I figured out the system. Wait, is that how you all call it or what?"

"Well, I call it the system, the girls didn't follow but it's a system nonetheless." 'Right, that makes more sense' Chaeyoung smiled. Her friends have been taking turns to go see her, it was hard not to notice.

"How did you organize?"

"We decided it was better to send the best we had first."

"Oh, I see." Nayeon had been the first one to visit right after she got home.

"Yep, you know, the hardest days. How did it go?"

None of the other girls had mentioned directly their system, only Dahyun had asked, of course she did. It made sense they had sent Nayeon first. Today Chaeyoung was okay in comparison to how she had been feeling the first days, Nayeon had it difficult.

She had managed to take Chaeyoung out to the movies, but after that, the talking came and it was not great. Chaeyoung was a bit in denial.

"Chaeyoungie, for the last time, you won't do that."

"But I need to see her, I can just go, I-"

"No, you can't and you know that, you knew that, why is it in your head now?"

"Because I miss her! And I need to go and-"

"Chaeyoung, you are not a hero. Okay, look, look at me." Nayeon cupped Chaeyoung's cheeks. "Mina does not need a prince charming, alright? She has to stand up on her own, period."

Chaeyoung deep down knew that. But on the first days after she got home, she just wanted to go to Mina.

Now looking at Dahyun she sighed. "Oh, she had it rough, I was being so stubborn."

Dahyun laughed. "Then we send Jihyo."

"Oh." Chaeyoung felt embarrassed for that day too. "I cried."

She usually tried to hold her tears, crying was not her first instinct, but this time she couldn't help it. She had felt so stupid. Jihyo had decided to cheer Chaeyoung up by making crafts and painting. She probably thought that was what Chaeyoung liked, you know, painting. It was fun at first, Jihyo was awful at it so Chaeyoung had to help. Then she tried to paint one of the cute drawings Jihyo had brought, but she ended up trying with a penguin and started crying. She had no idea how to explain what was happening with her and she was not controlling her tears. Jihyo got so scared and guilty and was not understanding at all. Thinking about it now was quite funny but embarrassing. Chaeyoung had cried over a penguin.

Dahyun found it quite funny too. She was laughing to the point her stomach started hurting. "But why? You cried over a penguin? Oh, god, poor Jihyo, Chaeyoungie, that's so sad." She kept laughing until she calmed down and Chaeyoung just scratched her head. "I can't believe you cried over a penguin."

"I had to explain it was not her fault but it was so embarrassing."

"I heard you had a great time with Jeongyeon, though."

"She's been the coolest, but I guess your system knows that."

"Of course, Nayeon had it the hardest, then Jihyo got the tears, by the time Jeongyeon got to see you, you were no longer that upset, you see? Now with me, you're even better." Dayun seemed proud of the order but then she frowned. "The only flaw of the system is Tzuyu."

"Oh yeah, I noticed she's not in it." Tzuyu had just texted her every day and unlike the others, she had not appeared once. Dahyun explained now she had not wanted to participate in the system, instead, she was going to call and text Chaeyoung every day. It was nice. "She calls me, though, it's okay, I guess..." There was a hint of doubt in her voice, Dahyun noticed.

"What is it?"

"It's just, "Chaeyoung had not talked about it with anyone. "That day, you know, when you all tried to make me do my exam..."

"Right! Tzuyu never told me what did she say to you, okay, you have to tell me, I've been dying to know, I tried so hard but she is so good at ignoring me." Chaeyoung laughed imagining that. Tzuyu was indeed an expert ignoring Dahyun.

"It's nothing you don't already know."

"Oh." Dahyun's face changed completely, she was almost in shock. "Oh, no, no, she didn't!" She hit Chaeyoung's arm with a big wide smile.

"Ouch, control yourself."

"No, no, no she didn't." Dahyun kept smiling and shaking her head and Chaeyoung just nodded slowly.

"She did, she told me."

"And you felt so guilty you just obeyed and did your exam?"

"No!" Chaeyoung hurried. Although, she had felt guilty. It had not been everything, it was just Tzuyu's words. They shared a nice moment, it was nice. "She just... motivated me."

"Right." Dahyun pretended to believe Chaeyoung. "I can't believe she told you, I'll make fun of her."

"Please don't," Chaeyoung tried even though she knew it was useless, Dahyun never missed an opportunity to bother Tzuyu.

"So what did you and Jeongyeon do?"

"We just stayed here." Chaeyoung smiled. Jeongyeon had texted her letting her know she was going to her house. She brought many snacks and video games. For a moment there, Chaeyoung felt like repeating the penguin situation but this time she was able to govern herself.

"Just no Smash Bros." That was the only requirement she set for the day. Jeongyeon accepted happily, she was quite into games too. The difference between that day and the others was that even if Chaeyoung got that constant thought of associating Mina and video games, she could keep calm and just be. Also, Jeongyeond didn't ask her about the topic directly like Nayeon or had to, like panicking Jihyo. They just played and ate and laughed. When she said goodbye, though, she held her for a longer time.

"You are strong, Chaeyoungie, I swear it will get better." The words kept repeating in her head. Chaeyoung found it strange when people told her she was strong. Because lately, she didn't feel like it at all. She thought being sensitive was bad and she was. A lot. But people kept saying it was no weakness and that being sensitive like her was in fact quite beautiful. It confused her.

"What's with Smash Bros?" Dahyun asked confused.

"Mina and I used to play that."

"Right, I should have guessed that. Sorry."

"It's okay, now I don't cry thinking about it."

"You still cried over a penguin."

"Shut up!" Chaeyoung moved to attack Dahyun but Dahyun turned over squashing her on the bed as she did many times when they were together. "Aren't you supposed to cheer me up?"

"I'm crushing your sadness away," Dahyun smiled.

"Let me go."

"Alright, alright." She rolled over and set her free. "Tomorrow you have the big finale, though."

"What?" Chaeyoung had thought Dahyun was the last one. "Who?"

"Ah!" Dahyun got up and started walking around the room. Then she picked up a hairbrush and used it as a microphone talking like an announcer, "Tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen, you, my dear friend would get the pleasure! the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! the blessing! of spending one afternoon with the one and only..." She stopped her presentation to add suspense, Chaeyoung rolled her eyes, by now she could already guess who she was talking about. "Minatozaki Sana!" She threw the hairbrush away and clapped. "Wooow, and the crowd goes crazy!" She got closer to shake Chaeyoung who even though found it ridiculous, couldn't help but smile.

"You should stop that, you know?" Chaeyoung was still smiling but she felt like she needed to tell Dahyun.

"What?"

"How you talk about Sana, you know Tzuyu is super jealous."

"Oh, please, she should feel proud of how amazing her girlfriend is, not jealous of everyone, god, I'm her friend, Tzuyu's and Sana's." Dahyun had a point. "I won't stop until she gets used to it, she needs to learn."

"That's true," Chaeyoung frowned. "Unconventional but true." They stayed quiet for a moment, Dahyun was going through Chaeyoung's bookshelf. "So tomorrow's Sana, guess she'll be texting me later."

"She will, she likes the system, unlike her demon girlfriend." Chaeyoung rolled her eyes again. The never-ending saga of Dahyun and Tzuyu bickering was so silly. And the fact that Dahyun kept calling it the system was so fun too.

Chaeyoung was okay with hanging with Sana, might be fun. "As long as she's not with Momo."

"Mhh..." Dahyun laughed awkwardly. Chaeyoung had forgotten about their relationship. 'oh'

"Right, sorry, I keep forgetting you like to sleep with the enemy." She tried to joke as Dahyun had done, but this time apparently something deeper was going on. "What is it?"

"Nothing, I just miss her." Dahyun dismissed the topic like it was nothing. Chaeyoung did not fancy talking about Momo but if it was worrying Dahyun, then she could try. Besides, she remembered another thing Jeongyeon had said to her. 'Nayeon just wants us all to get along, that's why she tried so hard with Momo, not because she is not on your side, she even misses Mina, you know? but don't tell her I said that'

"You haven't talked?"

"We don't talk." Dahyun pointed out. 'right'

"Then you uh, miss uh-" Chaeyoung felt dumb to have hesitated, she was not a kid but sometimes she sure felt like one.

But Dahyun stopped her either way, "No, no, it's just, we used to talk just when we had lunch or whatever and sometimes when we met each other, that was it, it was nice, whatever, but after what happened we haven't talked at all and it shouldn't matter, really, I mean, I could always text her, I'm sure she would answer but I just won't and, and I kind of want to."

It was weird seeing Dahyun like that. "To talk or...?"

Dahyun laughed at Chaeyoung. "It's called , Chaeyoungie, you should try it."

Chaeyoung just got embarrassed and her ears burned. "Just answer me." 'so much for being nice'

"To talk, just talk, I know she hurt you, etcetera, but she's troubled... I could see that many times, I just- forget it, it's nothing."

"It's not nothing, it's okay if you feel like that, just text her." Chaeyoung was still mad at Momo, of course she was, but deep down she knew Momo was not a bad person, jealousy could be a dangerous thing, that is for sure.

"Okay, okay, too much, I'm here for you, not for me." Dahyun didn't feel like talking more about it. Chaeyoung thought it was better that way too.

"So, where are you taking me?" Chaeyoung wondered now what was her way of cheering her up.

"Taking you?" Dahyun smiled. "Oh, baby, I'm already leaving."

"What? Why? Are you disrespecting the system?"

"No." Dahyun frowned. "Never. But my job here is done, I made you reflect on the system, that must've cheered you up enough, right?"

Chaeyoung thought for a bit. Even if they had not done anything much, Dahyun's visit and conversation was as good as the other days. 'unconventional indeed'

"My parents would want you to stay for dinner, though."

"Oh, I know, they already invited me." Chaeyoung facepalmed. 'of course they already did'

After a while they had dinner. Dahyun was a delight. Chaeyoung had a great moment, it definitely helped her. Her friends really loved her so much. Sharing with her family and Dahyun was wonderful. Then Dahyun left for real after many jokes and stories.

Sana did let her know about tomorrow. Tzuyu texted her too as usual and when she was in bed, her mother went to say goodbye and didn't forget to repeat how wonderful Dahyun is, but she also pointed out how all her friends have been visiting her and how she thought that was really sweet. 'It really is' Chaeyoung thought. They were truly the best.

Looking at her stars on the ceiling she smiled. 'good night, Mina' Chaeyoung felt better, yes, but still, every night, every morning, every moment, she thought about Mina. 'Hope you are warm enough.' Even if sometimes it still hurt, a lot, she could have these moments where she would just think about it and just hope. Hope for the girl to be okay and hope for her heart to fully recover. But one thing Chaeyoung made clear to everyone and to herself was that recovering didn't mean to forget about Mina, just accept the things that had happened. Because after all, she loved the girl with all her heart. 'I'll wait here if you're cold.'

The next day she got up in a good mood. Chaeyoung was recovering her positive attitude little by little. She had been such a mess it was time she got better. She woke up early and cleaned her room. Today she really had energy. 'I should really get rid of some stuff' Chaeyoung had a lot of junk, even though it wasn't actually junk, is just she kept everything. When she was younger, she didn't like to get rid of things. Even if she didn't use them anymore, she kept everything. Like little toys, lights without batteries, many sketchbooks, lots of pencils that could barely draw now, used candles, and many empty lighters among other things. It was not messy, but it was not neat either, it was her room. Weirdly organized but she got it. Still, this morning she tried to make it look better, life at the dorms had taught her to get rid of unnecessary things, so she did. By the time she was done, it was lunchtime so it was perfect.

Downstairs her brother was already at the table, her father had gone out and her mother was about to serve the food. "No phones here," her mother warned the boy at the other side of the table.

Chaeyoung smiled at him and he frowned but right then, Chaeyoung's phone vibrated in her pocket so she took it out.

"Hey, no phones here, mom, she's using her phone too."

"She's not playing with it." Her mother sat to eat too and Jeonghoon just huffed.

"Don't suffer, I'll put it away," Chaeyoung explained. "It's just, mom, you know how the girls have been coming and taking me out and stuff?" Her mother nodded. "The thing is today another friend is coming."

"Tzuyu?" Jeonghoon asked now interested in the conversation.

Chaeyoung sighed. "That won't ever happen, let it go, mom, tell him to stop that he gets all stupid when Tzuyu is here!" Her mother just looked disapprovingly at the boy now making a face to Chaeyoung.

"If she's not coming then who?" Their family didn't know other friends, that's why Chaeyoung was explaining now.

"I made a new friend, Sana, she's lovely, I'm sure you'll like her." Chaeyoung smiled at her mother a then frowned at Jeonghoon, "Not you."

"Alright, stop that. That's fine then, I'll meet her later if I'm still here."

"Great."

Chaeyoung was a bit nervous. The last time she was alone with Sana she was a mess because she had just known about Mina and her. Then the other times they always hung out with the other girls too, not just them. She knew there was no need to be nervous but still.

When Sana arrived her nervousness dissipated. She was sweet as ever. Chaeyoung's mother was just about to go out so she could only greet her but that was enough. Fortunately, Jeonghoon was in his room and didn't come down to say hi. Chaeyoung wondered how his face would look if he could see Tzuyu kissing Sana or something, it would be hilarious. He's had that crush on Tzuyu since forever, it was cute before, now it was just wrong. Chaeyoung hated when he got all giggly around her.

"Your mother is really nice," Sana said. They were on Chaeyoung's living room seated across from each other.

"She is, she was in a good mood too, Dahyun's visit yesterday not only cheered me up."

Sana chuckled. "Oh, is she the favorite?"

"She is," Chaeyoung sighed. "It's quite obvious."

"And you have a brother too, right? Older?"

"Younger, you wouldn't like him," Chaeyoung smiled remembering her previous thoughts.

"Why not?"

"Oh, you know... he is just a boy and... Tzuyu is quite beautiful." By the face Sana made she had already understood what she meant.

"Ah, lovely." Sana laughed. "He sounds lovely."

"Yeah..." Chaeyoung shook her head. It was fun, she liked that Sana took it with humor. It's not like her brother actually liked Tzuyu or anything, he just had eyes. Chaeyoung complained every time he said something because there was no need to express it but having a crush was normal.

"So, how are you?"

Chaeyoung was not expecting that so fast. "Straight to the point I see."

"Straight as I can be, yes."

Smiling Chaeyoung took a while before answering. She was fine. Better than before. There were moments she got sad and it was hard but now at least it was not all black, she could feel sad and then leave it aside. It was a big achievement. The first days she felt so bad and guilty, all the things she had said to try and break up with her, she didn't want Mina to believe any of that, to believe it would be easier to just forget everything, that thought followed her everywhere. Then she stopped feeling so guilty and things passed from that to just feeling sorry for everything. For herself, for Mina, for the situation itself. Now she could at least see it was no one's fault. "I'm doing better. It's quite depressing from time to time and I'm mostly worried but I'm doing better. I'm actually glad Nayeon forbid me to text her, even if I miss her and all I'm sure it would be worse for her to read my agony." She laughed at the last word.

"I'm sure that if she didn't have so much on her plate then she would be more than okay to hear all your troubles."

"Probably."

"I'm sure she is worried about you too." Chaeyoung just smiled weakly, she was not so sure about that, she didn't know what to believe about that. It was better not to think much. Sana could probably tell Chaeyoung got upset at that so her next words were probably accordingly, "Heard you cried over a penguin."

"Oh, god, you guys won't ever forget that." Chaeyoung hid her face with her hands.

"It's cute," Sana reassured her, "you're cute, really."

Chaeyoung felt a bit shy, Dahyun had just laughed at her, Sana thought it was cute.

"It's stupid."

"It's not, you're sensitive, is beautiful. I believe more people should be like you, your heart is so pure, Mina is really lucky."

At that moment Chaeyoung felt like crying again. Everyone kept saying how amazing she was and nice and cute, then how come Mina was not with her. Even if she knew why she couldn't help but think about that and get trapped in that thought.

But she tried and ignore it. "Right."

"Chaeyoung," Sana said softly. "I actually came here today 'cause uh, well don't be surprised but today's my birthday."

"What? Really? Then why are you here, oh my god, you should've told me."

Sana laughed at Chaeyoung's face of panic. "It's okay, don't worry." Chaeyoung was confused, why was she here then? "I invited everyone to get together on New Year's Eve to celebrate both things, Tzuyu and I arranged everything."

"Oh."

"So... I really want you to be there."

"Right, of course, I'll be there." Chaeyoung was not understanding why she had taken that much trouble inviting her.

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not? We'll celebrate your birthday." Chaeyoung smiled, she felt less guilty now about not having known it was actually today.

"But uh..."

"What is it?"

"I thought you would say no, so I came here to convince you."

"Why would I deny?" Chaeyoung frowned. "It's your birthday party."

Sana sighed a bit frustrated realizing Chaeyoung could not figure out on her own what could be wrong. "Momo will be there too, is that okay with you?"

'oh' Now Chaeyoung got it. 'no, no way' Now she could see why Sana had taken all the trouble to come and ask personally. She didn't feel like being around Momo. "Ah, that's different."

"I knew it couldn't be that easy."

Chaeyoung could see Sana looked a bit sad. But she definitely didn't want to go now, she felt bad she had already said yes. It would be super awkward. Momo had apologized, yes, but Chaeyoung was not there yet. It would be so much easy for everyone if she just didn't go, that way it wouldn't be uncomfortable for anyone. Chaeyoung could behave but it was hard. "Sorry."

"I would be really happy if you go."

"It would be awkward for everyone."

"It wouldn't," Sana said. "Everyone knows what happened but everyone knows she apologized and we all like to think you're doing better, you said it yourself, and... it's the perfect opportunity to put our differences aside, you'll be there to have fun, nothing else."

"Still, what if I end up, I don't know, I just..." Chaeyoung sighed, she wanted to be there for Sana, of course, and her friends and have a good time, it could be really refreshing. But with Momo there, she might lose her progress, right?

"Alright, I understand if you wouldn't feel comfortable, just know that you are welcome." Sana put a hand on her knee. "I would really like to have you there, we all need a break, I'm sure you do too."

"Maybe."

"Tzuyu will text you the details if you change your mind." Sana got up. "Let's go get ice cream now, someone told me you like buying ice cream when it's cold." Chaeyoung got up too and received a warm hug. They left to get ice cream and walked around for a bit, Chaeyoung wished her a happy birthday, and after Sana left, she spent the rest of the afternoon wondering if she was strong enough to go and try having a good time. 'maybe I should try.'

At night she got Tzuyu's message with the information and Nayeon called her too. She assured her that if she went, everything would be okay. Chaeyoung once again remembered Jeongyeon's words; Nayeon had always just wanted for everyone to get along. The thing is Chaeyoung didn't have anything against Momo exactly, she just felt it might be a bad encounter, triggering even, she could lose all her progress and achievements, she could end up crying or fighting or drunk or all of those. It was too risky. And, she would miss Mina all the time, with everyone there but her, it was just too sad.

"C'mon, Chaeyoungie, you could use the talk and the company and the drinks," Nayeon said over the phone.

"Yeah, that might be true but I don't trust myself."

"Then trust me," Nayeon insisted. "I'll make sure you behave and have a good time, besides, Sana's done so much for you and... all of us, she will be really happy if you go."

That was true. Chaeyoung didn't feel like her company could be enjoyable for anyone but then, Sana had taken all the time and trouble to ask her personally, maybe she really wanted her there. And after everything Sana had done for her, it was the least she could do. "Alright, I'll... I'll really consider it." Nayeon celebrated and started explaining what she had bought for Sana. Chaeyoung just heard her and tried to see the bright side of going.

When her parents came back that night, she asked her mom about it. If she thought it was a good idea. Her mother didn't exactly know what Momo had done, but Chaeyoung had explained to her that it was complicated.

"You could always try and if you feel uncomfortable you can leave, I'm sure Nayeon would be there for you and I think it can do you well to go out and simply enjoy." Everyone seemed to see she needed a moment out. Maybe she did. It's not like Chaeyoung didn't feel like having fun, she just felt it could end up bad and ruining not only her night but everyone's night. "They have been coming to see you almost every day, I'm sure they all want you to be there."

'They have been trying to make me feel better, yes.' Chaeyoung thought. 'Dahyun would be proud seeing the system worked' She laughed a bit at her silly thoughts. "Alright, I'll go."

She got a present for Sana and met up with Nayeon to go there together. You could think that from Christmas to New Year, it wasn't much time apart. But Nayeon could not contain her excitement of seeing Jeongyeon again.

Chaeyoung heard Nayeon attentively on their way. They had shared Christmas together for the first time. Nayeon had been quite nervous since Jeongyeon invited her to her house with her whole family. But things went great. Chaeyoung could really tell the excitement in Nayeon eyes and voice. But after that day, they had not seen each other and they were used to seeing one another every day. Chaeyoung found it funny, how Nayeon was so excited to see her girlfriend again just after a few days and it made her sad a bit because she had not seen Mina for more than just a few days and it would be probably a lot more days for her to even catch a glimpse of her. 'she is not even my girlfriend anymore...' That's an example of why she didn't want to go to this dinner, you see? She should be happy about Nayeon and she was, but it was inevitable to not feel sad at the same time and that could make everyone feel uncomfortable.

When they got to their destination Jeongyeon was already there and Nayeon hurried to hug her and kiss her. It was new. Chaeyoung confirmed Nayeon had really missed her because they never kissed in front of the rest, never. They could be affectionate and you could tell they were really close but they never kissed, they were private like that. This time it was just a few seconds kiss but it was enough to make everyone surprised and smile. Even Jeongyeon got taken aback at first.

"Hey," Jeongyeon reacted.

"Hey." Nayeon moved away and looked down with her face all red. She must have realized it was something new for everyone. But it was cute. 'they must have had a really good time on Christmas.'

They were in Sana's apartment, more like Sana's parents' apartment. Chaeyoung didn't know but Nayeon had explained that Sana's parents spent most of the time away from the country. That's why Sana chose life at the dorms. It made sense, Chaeyoung couldn't imagine Sana living alone, it seemed too sad.

It was a nice space. It was quite big, enough to have everyone there. Tzuyu and Sana had decorated accordingly. Chaeyoung saw Tzuyu and Dahyun arranging the last things for the table that was on one side where they would have dinner. Windows formed one of the walls allowing an amazing view of the city. The sun was setting.

"That's something I've always wanted to see," Dahyun said finishing her task. "What a great night already." Nayeon frowned at her but Jeongyeon just smiled. "And even better!" Dahyun moved to hug Chaeyoung who was still by the door just looking at everything.

"Hi," Chaeyoung greeted her. "Where's Sana?"

"In her room," Tzuyu approached both girls and hugged Chaeyoung too. "How have you been? Come."

Walking away from the entrance Chaeyoung could see the hallway to where other rooms apparently were, another ambient for the kitchen and another door probably for the bathroom. Tzuyu handed her a drink and they sat on the big comfy couches of the living room.

Chaeyoung was a bit distracted eyeing the whole place so she didn't notice when Jeongyeon went to get the door allowing a happy Jihyo to enter. Until she heard her excited voice. "Oh, I've missed you all." She was hugging Jeongyeon and as she got inside, Sana walked out of her room followed by Momo.

Jihyo greeted Sana with a strong hug and thanked her for inviting her. She greeted Momo too. That's when Chaeyoung looked at her and realized she looked a bit down, and Sana didn't look that fine either.

'Weird' Chaeyoung thought. This was supposed to be a good night for Sana, so she decided to ignore it and got up to greet her at last.

"Son Chaeyoung," Sana smiled at her. "You came."

"Of course," Chaeyoung hugged her too. "Happy birthday again."

"My Chaeyoungie!" Jihyo turned to hold her without a warning, "Oh, you look so good." Jihyo always complimented Chaeyoung's appearance and was really fond of the girl.

When Jihyo let go, Chaeyoung was standing in front of Momo. No one said anything, an awkward silence was formed for a second. But Chaeyoung didn't like that, and she was there to have fun, so she extended her hand at Momo and the girl took it carefully. It was enough.

"Perfect!" Dahyun said putting an end to the tension. "Let's eat."

"Not yet," Tzuyu was still coming and going to the kitchen so she said that as she disappeared going behind the counter.

"Such a perfectionist," Sana said walking to help Tzuyu, maybe a bit too fast.

Chaeyoung was off to a reasonable start. Nothing bad had happened and no one seemed to care about the awkwardness of a moment ago.

That's how the night took place. Everyone made conversation for a while, dinner was in a few minutes. Nayeon was awfully clingy to Jeongyeon who even though tried to hide it, couldn't stop smiling. 'cute' Chaeyoung thought. She was by the window, she saw how the sun had set fully and now had turned her attention to look at everyone, she usually stood and watch.

What she was not expecting was for Momo to approach her.

"Hey."

Chaeyoung was surprised but she had promised herself and everyone to behave. 'decent, Chaeyoung, be decent, hate the sin, not the sinner' "Hey," Chaeyoung answered back.

Momo looked nervous, it made Chaeyoung slightly worried. Sana before looked a bit jumpy too, but she had ignored it. "Listen, I... I need to tell you something, is it okay if we talk?"

"Nope," Nayeon said approaching both girls. "Not today, Momoring, sorry."

Chaeyoung would have said yes, but Nayeon had interfered and maybe it was for the best. "But it's-"

"You can talk another time, alright? Today we are here to have fun, nothing else." Nayeon talked softly to Momo, it was nice. Chaeyoung liked that no one held it against Momo.

Still, Momo looked like she didn't like being stopped by her but she just sighed and left.

"I could've heard her out, you know?" Chaeyoung asked.

"I know." Nayeon passed her hand over Chaeyoung's shoulders and guided her to where everyone else was. "But not today."

After that Dahyun called everyone and they all sat to eat. Not before saying a few words to Sana and giving thanks for the food. The large table was full of different dishes, Chaeyoung was eager to eat. She had sat between Nayeon and Jihyo. Jeongyeon was at that side too, next to Nayeon obviously. Sana was on the other side next to Tzuyu who was next to Dahyun too, and Momo was by the other side of Sana. The whole time they all have been there, Momo stuck to Sana, Chaeyoung was sure she was nervous but she was also certain that no one was mad at her now.

At least Chaeyoung felt she wasn't, but right now when everyone was eating, she couldn't help but think about it all again. Maybe it wasn't for everyone but for Chaeyoung was evident that someone was missing and it made her feel a weird sensation between annoyed and sad.

"You okay?" Nayeon whispered.

"Just got distracted, I'm fine." Chaeyoung's mother had been right, indeed Nayeon had been looking after her the whole time. Even if the girl had been clinging to her girlfriend too, she had been watching over Chaeyoung.

"Now would you tell us how Christmas went?" Dahyun asked wiggling her eyebrows from the other side looking at Nayeon and Jeongyeon with a big smile.

Nayeon choked on her food, this time was Chaeyoung's turn to ask, "You okay?"

"It went well, Dahyun, thanks for asking," Jeongyeon clarified. "Nayeon was quite nervous to meet the family, but it was okay, now she can't leave me."

At that everyone laughed and Nayeon just hit her arm not that softly. "."

Time passed as everyone talked and ate. Chaeyoung didn't talk much but she was enjoying the whole vibe. It was comfortable and she felt a bit silly to have thought she would make anyone uncomfortable, these were her friends, nothing bad could happen.

What Chaeyoung still couldn't figure out was why Sana looked distracted. From time to time she could see Tzuyu whispering her things or eyeing her carefully maybe to check if she was okay. In one of those times, she made eye contact with Tzuyu and tried to mutter what was wrong with Sana, Tzuyu got it and shrugged her shoulders so Chaeyoung just smiled at her and Tzuyu smiled back. 'for sure it's nothing.'

It was not certain but by the looks of it, the answer to her question came a few minutes later when the doorbell rang and Sana jumped on her seat. Tzuyu hurried to ask, "What is it? Should I go?"

"Uh, no, it's okay," Sana cleared and got up. Chaeyoung was not sure if only she and Tzuyu could tell something was off, because looking at everyone else they all seemed chill and Momo, well, Momo had looked different the whole time but that had an explanation.

But as Sana opened the door and greeted the new guests, Chaeyoung's whole world collapsed. Her heartbeat increased tremendously, her stomach hurt, that was not supposed to happen.

She was not sure of every word that was being spoken but she could hear people talking, she was just too focused looking at her plate, trying to calm down, trying for the ring in her ears to stop.

"Even if you did, please, have a sit," Sana said. Chaeyoung couldn't believe any of this was happening, she must be dreaming, right? More like a nightmare.

But it was so real once she got to hear his voice again, "Alright, thank you," Kwan moved a chair and talked again, "Here."

Chaeyoung wouldn't dare to look at them, she could hear what was happening but she wouldn't look, she couldn't. She was mad.

"Thanks." Mina's soft voice filled Chaeyoung's mind and she couldn't take it anymore. She was mad, so mad, how could she be there? How could both of them be there? Chaeyoung could only think it was a big joke, they must be making fun of her, it hurt. Not only Mina being there but Mina and Kwan, were they trying to rip her heart out? Chaeyoung couldn't be there anymore.

Trying to get up, she felt Nayeon keeping her still. "Don't," she whispered. "Don't let them see you affected by it."

Chaeyoung obeyed just because she was not thinking properly. But the truth is she didn't care what they could think, she wanted to leave, how could no one tell her? Did Sana know? How could she invite her there, then?

Nothing made much sense but she stayed there barely moving, barely breathing, barely present. The only thing keeping her sane being Nayeon's hand on her knee. 'this must be a joke.'