When Mina was a child, she had a teddy bear. The most amazing teddy bear ever, she loved it, she couldn't sleep without it. It even lost a part of the ear once but she kept holding tight to it. When she lost it it was the worst feeling ever, she didn't give up on looking for it for months but then it just didn't ever appear again. You could say it was her first heartache.

When Mina likes something, she gets too attached to that something. Sometimes she doesn't even realize how much she fixates her attention on a particular something. It could be a game or a newfound interest in some topic of the class, but everything she likes she commits to it, she stays on it. Right now, her newest fixation was Chaeyoung.

Maybe is the way that she feels so happy that gets her too attached to certain things. Maybe she forgets things that cloud her mind sometimes when she's too busy thinking about what she likes, it's safe. Chaeyoung does that, the girl makes her happy and safe but also scared and worried. The problem is she doesn't want to get away from her even if it makes her mind worry because Chaeyoung can also easily make it all go away.

Chaeyoung is part of the things that worry her right now but she is also what makes her forget all about it. When she's with her, everything feels better. When is just the two of them, she feels unbreakable.

This morning she woke up as usual earlier than her. They had fallen asleep holding each other but they almost never woke up in the same position, the girl was next to her in her apparently comfiest position to sleep, on her back with her hands behind her pillow. 'cute'

Last night Mina had the best time ever with her, she would've never thought of being in this position in her life, feeling things for a girl. Never. But she was loving it. The way Chaeyoung made her feel all the time was ineffable. Both physically and emotionally. Sometimes she felt embarrassed of how much she liked it, both parts, but mostly the way she looked so needy when they were together. She was aware she was but sometimes she amazed herself. She felt like a teenager, it was shameful.

 She was not embarrassed when she teased Chaeyoung, it was fun, it was accelerating, it was great. But when Chaeyoung made her feel like that, when she was not the one in charge of the action, she lost it too easily. The weird part is that when she felt most lost in desire was when things were slow, Chaeyoung was so careful with her, so thoughtful, but her slow acts were as dangerous as her rushed ones.

Last night was interesting, it was new and exciting. She never gave it too much thought of what she did or felt with Chaeyoung, because when she did her mind would create bad feelings, scary ones, so she couldn't do that. That was one of the secrets to letting herself feel for Chaeyoung, just not thinking too much of it. Were they dating? Yes. Were they a couple? Yes. Did she feel like kissing her all the time? Yes. Was she going to worry about that? No. In her mind that was just it, there was no need to stress about it, she was not going to talk to anyone about it but Chaeyoung. There was no need to think more about it. Basically, she couldn't feel scared when she didn't give it that much relevance outside their room. It was a strange way of dealing with it but it had worked. Once she left through the door, Chaeyoung was only in the back of her mind. And once she returned to her room Chaeyoung was all that mattered.

So right now staring at the girl that was peacefully sleeping, she could allow herself to feel everything she wanted without worrying. She used one of her hands to reach Chaeyoung's lips and trace them. Mina was feeling at ease, calmed, but as soon as she felt them her heart reacted. She liked it so much, she had always liked how being close to her felt. Chaeyoung's face twitched a bit for the contact. Mina smiled. Moving her body closer she found a new position supporting her head in her hand while still looking at Chaeyoung closely. For some reason, maybe the joy she got from bothering her, she blew air on her face just a bit. Chaeyoung's face twitched again and she giggled. She got closer to her face and kissed her cheek, leaving her lips for a few seconds before returning to her position. She saw how Chaeyoung smiled, but she looked like she was still sleeping. So she did it again this time closer to . Chaeyoung hummed while smiling this time, making Mina smile wider. She stopped entertaining herself and changed her position to support her head in Chaeyoung's chest, cuddling her from the side. She could hear the girl's heart that it wasn't going fast since she was sleeping but she liked to hear it, either way, it was relaxing. She closed her eyes, this is what she wanted to feel all the time, even when she left her room, why did it have to be so hard? After a few minutes, she felt one of Chaeyoung's hands on her hair and the other reaching for her own hand that was resting in Chaeyoung's stomach. Mina liked when they held hands, it was so simple yet so beautiful.

"Hey," Chaeyoung whispered.

"Finally," Mina answered. "I was about to leave you here alone."

"You wouldn't do that without annoyingly waking me up first."

"Don't be so sure." Mina knew Chaeyoung was right but still. "Were you dreaming about me?"

"I don't know, I don't remember." Chaeyoung started caressing her hand. "Were you dreaming about me?"

"Daydreaming, yes," Mina said. "I was dreaming that I was kissing you, can I kiss you?" Mina knew she was going to get rejected but she liked how Chaeyoung reacted.

"So direct," Chaeyoung commented. "You cannot."

"Well, I tried" Mina sighed. "Can we stay here today?" She was not sure what it was but she had woken up much needy and wanting Chaeyoung more than ever.

"We can't skip classes," Chaeyoung answered negatively but with a soft caring voice. "You know I'd love to stay with you."

"Then let's stay," Mina pouted.

"We can't."

Mina sighed again. "Okay." She felt sad for a good ten seconds and then moved fast to look at Chaeyoung in the face. "Can I kiss you now?" She asked kissing her nose.

Chaeyoung laughed. "No."

Mina insisted kissing her cheek. "Can I kiss you now?" She also kissed her other cheek. "Now?" Chaeyoung just shook her head. Mina frowned.

Chaeyoung held her head with both hands softly. "What's with you today?" Mina was looking at her eyes, the way Chaeyoung looked at her made her feel so safe, her eyes were so beautiful and full of care.

"I'm not sure," she confessed still focused on Chaeyoung's eyes. "I'm just happy, I want to be here all day happy with you."

"That does sound nice." Chaeyoung fixed Mina's hair behind her ear real tenderly. "And I'm glad you're feeling happy, but you know we can't stay here, we are responsible people." Mina pouted and moved away from Chaeyoung to get on her back too. Chaeyoung laughed at her.

"Don't pout," she said still laughing and turning to give Mina a quick kiss on the cheek for then getting out of bed. "Come on," Chaeyoung spoke on her feet now. "You're gonna be late," she said last before leaving for the bathroom.

"I don't want to be responsible people!" Mina shouted at her so she could hear from the other room. Well, she had tried but unfortunately, Chaeyoung was right and she had to leave soon and forget all about what she was feeling now. But today was different, she didn't want to stop thinking about her, she wanted to feel like this all day, she wanted to see Chaeyoung not only at night. 'you're being stupid, Mina, you know it's not possible She sighed and got up too to get ready.

She reminded Chaeyoung to charge her phone so they could text before leaving and when they were both ready to leave, she tried to convince her again. Surrounding her neck Chaeyoung held her waist. "Please, we can't leave him alone." She pointed at her new penguin that was resting on her pillow.

Chaeyoung just smiled. "We will be back soon."

"It's not soon," Mina frowned. "I don't like being away from you."

"Well, we could see each other you know that."

"We can't don't be ridiculous." Mina looked away, that was not an option. She saw how Chaeyoung looked down at that and left her waist. It shouldn't be like that, not here, she had talked more than intended. She lifted Chaeyoung's head and kissed her lips. "Sorry." She left another kiss, but the girl was not responding. Mina was mad at herself, she had let the bad parts of her thoughts infiltrate the safe part of their bubble, it wasn't right. She hugged Chaeyoung hiding in her neck. "Sorry."

Chaeyoung had not took hold of her. "It's whatever, let's just go," she said softly but Mina knew it wasn't right. Either way, she let go and the girl just turned to leave. "See you later" Chaeyoung said last before getting through the door. No kiss, no smile, Mina wanted to scream. It was her fault, she was aware of that but at the same time, it was better to just go too. There was nothing she could do now.

She had her first class with Momo. Usually, Mina would leave her room feeling so cheerful that it was not that hard being in class, she always had the thought of making it through it all fast and seeing Chaeyoung sooner, but this time she had wanted more and it had messed with her brain. She had made her feel sad, that was not right. She was distracted, it was affecting her composure.

"Mina," Momo called for her.

"Mh." Mina was looking nowhere in particular.

"Are you okay?" Mina was not, but still, she was not sure why Momo was asking that.

"Why?"

"You haven't taken any notes," She pointed at Mina's empty notebook. "I mean I don't usually do but that's because you give me yours,"

"Right," Mina nodded, focusing her eyes again on the class. "Sorry, I'll do that."

"I'm not asking for me," Momo explained. "Are you okay or not?"

"Yeah, yes, pay attention now," Mina dismissed the topic. She tried to focus for the rest of the class. Momo looked at her weirdly from time to time but she ignored that.

"Would you have lunch with us today?" Momo asked when they got out of class. They were walking together.

"Okay," Mina said and got a text from Chaeyoung, it was normal at this time.

From Chaeyoung :) 1:22pm
whos going

That meant who of them was going to lunch with the other girls, because they usually avoided each other, at Mina's request. It was stupid, really, there was no need to do that. Normally Chaeyoung's text would come with other stuffs, hearts, crying emojis, cute words or maybe a pic of some doodle asking with dialogue. This time she knew the girl was sad.

To Chaeyoung :) 1:23pm
you

Why she had sent that? She was not sure, but she wanted to see her. It was risky, last time she had messed up and Sana end up knowing, this time she needed to behave. She could do that, she needed to do that in order to make her feel better. Chaeyoung didn't say anything back.

She walked with Momo in silence to the campus cafeteria, she was not sure what could happen. She was letting the two sides of her mind crush, she was regretting her decision. Seeing Chaeyoung's surprised face when they got there, was not helpful. But something in her felt less worried seeing her, so she smiled. 'you can do this, Mina' It was a big step.

Chaeyoung was sitting next to Dahyun who was sitting next to Tzuyu. "Hey guys," Dahyun greeted them.

"Hi." Mina decided talking was a good idea. They sat in front leaving their food on the table. It was not every day that they got together for lunch, or lunched there because other days there was no time or different schedules. Still, they met there regularly.

Mina had a task, she needed to make Chaeyoung smile, at least once, that would fix everything.

"Hi!" She heard Sana's voice, she was just getting here. "The lecture took more time than intended, did you all miss me?" She joked and got closer to Tzuyu. "Hey, you." She kissed her cheek and sat next to Momo. It made Mina feel weird, she turned to Chaeyoung, the girl was not looking at her. Mina felt annoyed, she wanted to greet Chaeyoung like that too. She always felt jealous of Sana, it was ridiculous.

"You were only a few minutes later than us," Momo answered to Sana's words. "No one missed you."

"I missed you," Tzuyu said quietly.

"Aw, see Momoring?" Sana was full of energy today apparently, for some reason it only made Mina feel worst.

"Disgusting," Dahyun mumbled and Tzuyu hit her arm which made Dahyun smile. Mina was worried Chaeyoung had not said a thing.

"I see we are all here," Of course Sana was going to point that out, "it makes me happy." Mina looked at Chaeyoung again, she was smiling at Sana. She wanted a smile too, it was not fair.

"Aren't you always happy?" Dahyun asked smiling at Sana too.

"I try to."

They kept talking about different things, Mina wanted to participate but she was not sure how. Could she just talk to Chaeyoung? They were good at that. She was a bit nervous, but everything seemed fine, she could get used to this, the problem now was that she wanted to be close to Chaeyoung, not even as her girlfriend but as just a friend. But she had no idea what to say. Until Momo said something interesting.

"Should I cut my hair short like Chaeyoung?" She asked no one in particular while fixing her hair looking at her phone's camera.

"No," Mina answered.

"Why?" Momo questioned still moving her hair around. "Don't you like it?"

Mina knew Momo was talking about short hair, but it was her moment to make things better in a subtle way, Chaeyoung deserved that much. "I do," she said turning from Momo to Chaeyoung. The girl was just looking at them. 'no smile yet'

"Then why, Chaeyoung looks nice."

"Chaeyoungie has the face for it," Sana added to the debate.

"What face?" Momo left her phone.

It was Mina's best opportunity, she could say it, it was not weird at all. Right? "A cute face," she said looking at Chaeyoung again. This time she did smile. Mina felt proud. The world didn't end, no one say anything about it.

"I'm cute too," Momo argued frowning.

"I think you'd look cute too," Dahyun supported Momo's idea.

"Disgusting." This time Tzuyu mumbled mocking Dahyun's previous words to her. Sana laughed.

Mina felt happy, she had done it. She was there, with her friends and Chaeyoung, she had even called her cute. Maybe she had woken up extremely needy this morning because of their date yesterday. It had made her wish for more and end up saddening Chaeyoung but she had fixed it, she could do this often, it was not that hard. She felt brave, a bit. Enough to stop worrying about participating in the conversation and just enjoy the time close to Chaeyoung. They didn't have to look at each other to know that they were both in each other's minds. Neither of them said much after that and then it was time to leave.

Everyone said goodbye and left in different directions, except for Sana who reached for Mina once everyone had walked a bit.

"Hey," she called for her, Mina had been jealous of her again, but now she was feeling good, so she smiled at her.

"Hi, what's up?" They kept walking to where Mina was headed. "Don't you have classes?"

"Technically yes, but we have the time to work in groups, I can be a bit late." Mina nodded, still not understanding why she was here. "I just wanted to say that what you did today was nice."

Mina slowed down her pace a bit, she didn't like how Sana just talked about it without care, or maybe it didn't matter, it's not like people could hear or anything, but Mina reacted either way. "Lower your voice."

"It's not like anyone would understand," Sana complained but still talked lower. "You had lunch together with us, did you feel okay?"

The truth is that Sana knowing made Mina uncomfortable but it was nice how much she cared, besides it's also true that Sana had only been good to her forgetting all the things she had said to her in the past. Mina sighed. "Actually, yes, I was nervous but I also wanted to be there."

"You called her cute, that's cute, you guys are cute," Sana said a bit too fast forgetting to talk in a moderate volume.

"Shh," Mina complained again.

"Sorry, sorry," Sana knew this time it was her mistake, "I'm just excited."

"Really?" Mina didn't understand. "Why?"

"Because," Sana said as if it was obvious, "I want to see you happy. And I know how it feels." Mina didn't answer, Sana was such a nice person she felt horrible next to her. "The thing is," she kept talking, "that it was really good to have lunch all together, maybe we could hang out again, what do you think?"

"Don't pressure me," Mina smiled a bit. "I've been thinking of telling Momo, though."

"That'd be so nice," Sana said jumping a bit. "No wait, I mean, well, yeah you could try."

"What is it?" Mina frowned, Sana was contradicting herself.

"Nothing, I guess she's fine now." Sana looked like she was thinking out loud. "But... mhh, no yeah it'll be fine." She shook her head. "Yeah! you should totally tell her."

Mina was confused but it was not that weird. "Mh, okay," she answered, it's not like she was going to do it, she only had thought about it.

"Okay, I'm going in another direction now," Sana clapped. "But," she pointed at Mina, "so proud of you, know that, bye!" she said before running back from where they had been walking. Mina couldn't help but smile, Sana was an amazing friend, she needed to do better by her. She got to her classes without preoccupations, it was almost as if everything was fine, it's been a while since she felt carefree, in another place besides her room.

When it was time to go her stomach usually felt weird, it was time to get back to Chaeyoung. She bought something to eat before getting to her room. It was empty so she had to wait, they had cleaned this morning most of the things from yesterday but there were still a few things so she used the time in that. Then she sat in bed after looking for Chaeyoung's Switch that was practically hers, it was in her nightstand and all. She was playing and after a while, she felt the door, but she was too busy to get up. She felt how Chaeyoung got in leaving her things somewhere. 

"Wai-" Mina was about to greet and explain to Chaeyoung that the game was in an important part, but she was interrupted by a hand that moved the device aside in a quick movement and Chaeyoung's body colliding with hers, she was surprised and the action made her lay a bit back in the bed. Chaeyoung was kissing her using both hands to support her head. Mina was not sure what was happening but she was not going to reject it at all, so she reacted by holding Chaeyoung's waist. They had shared intense kisses before, but this one felt different, Mina was not expecting that, they usually got to that instance out of having previously kissed softly and nice and playing around, this was so sudden, Chaeyoung had a strong grip on her head and her kissing was rushed. Mina was having a hard time following her actions, the girl was practically devouring .

"I'm so proud of you," Chaeyoung finally said something after allowing Mina to breathe and joining their foreheads. She was looking directly at her eyes, they were so dark and her voice sounded different, deeper.

"Wha-" Mina was about to talk again but Chaeyoung crashed their lips again, with the same intensity, Mina felt her whole body warmer, she held on tighter to her waist. Chaeyoung had never been this rough with her, the girl was not minding anything, she looked too focused on her task of making Mina breathless. Mina's heart was going fast too and her mind was only Chaeyoung, she loved it. After a while, Chaeyoung slowed down by leaving sloppy kisses on her lips.

"Thank you," she whispered still leaving kisses in . Chaeyoung kissed her jaw down to her neck and stopped there, hiding her face. Mina could feel her breathing. She moved her hands from her waist to caress her back.

She could finally talk, Chaeyoung seemed to have finished her task. "Wow," she said first. Chaeyoung hid deeper in her neck. Mina laughed. "Hello to you too, I guess." Chaeyoung groaned embarrassed. "Is this just because I had lunch with you?"

Chaeyoung moved back to face Mina. "Mhh," she nodded. Mina saw her cheeks were really pink and her lips looked more inviting than ever but she resisted, "and you called me cute."

"I take it back," Mina said and Chaeyoung frowned. "You are not cute, you are hot." She knew saying that was going to break Chaeyoung, and she was right. The girl's face went completely red and she hid again in Mina's neck.

"Don't say that," she cried from there. Mina was laughing so much.

"Come back," Mina managed to say calming herself. "Don't get shy now, you were the one that came in here determined to make me lose my mind."

Chaeyoung got back again but without looking at her eyes. "I just... I liked it, thank you." She left a kiss on her cheek. "Maybe seeing you there and not being able to kiss you made me leave it all out now, sorry."

"Don't apologize, you know I enjoy it more than you," Mina caressed her cheek now, "I'm sorry that I made you sad today, I needed to fix it, that's why I went to lunch and... I think it went well, maybe we could hang with them often," she whispered the last words and Chaeyoung looked at her for a while for then slowly kiss her this time, only using her lips that Mina adored so much.

"I would love that, I think it went well too," she smiled.

"Sana congratulated me too, but I think I prefer your method," Mina joked and Chaeyoung blushed again.

"Okay, I won't ever do that again." She moved away from Mina's space, leaving the bed.

"Right," Mina simply said. "I bought food, let's eat."

They ate, they laughed, they shared, they kissed... a lot, and then used a bit of time to work on assignments, just a bit because they had both been leaving that aside so they needed to fix that. They fell asleep holding each other, Mina's progress had made everyone happy, it was definitely the best they had ever been. Mina slept without thinking about anything else, she promised herself tomorrow will be better because she had made it this far, she could do better, right? When she was with Chaeyoung, she always felt she could do better, even though at the back of her head many thoughts were still there, screaming at her how wrong all of this was but she had gotten quite an expert ignoring them. 'it's not wrong, we are not wrong, how could something so good be wrong?' She just needed to hold Chaeyoung tighter to forget all about it.

***

After that, their days were almost the same, their routine was well fixed, Mina had morning tantrums, Chaeyoung was the voice of reason but Mina still managed to steal kisses from her and more than once she had made them be late but hey, it was worth it. Since they got to see each other sometimes at lunch now, Chaeyoung started taking some time after classes to also hang out with her friends that Mina knew she had been leaving aside because of her, to be early in their room and to avoid questioning. But they both felt quite confident so Mina also used that time to be with her own friends, she had no idea but Momo was behind in many classes this semester too, somehow she felt guilty, she had not been helping her as much.

They had also talked a bit about telling Momo and Nayeon, the idea was not that terrifying for Mina now, somehow she felt closer to achieving that. All their friends would accept them, it was just Mina the one still denying herself but she felt improvement. So much improvement that this lazy Saturday morning, not so morning, resting her head in Chaeyoung's chest she asked her something she wouldn't have asked a week ago.

"Should we go out?" she said mindlessly caressing Chaeyoung's stomach.

"What do you mean?" Chaeyoung asked softly focused on playing with Mina's hair.

"Like... out," Mina repeated.

"Of the closet?" Chaeyoung asked. "I'm not-" But she was interrupted by Mina hitting her stomach.

"No, god, why would I ask that?" Mina got annoyed but she still found it funny. "Out of campus."

"With the girls?"

Mina moved from her position to get on her stomach and look at Chaeyoung. "No, just us."

"And you would be okay with that?" Chaeyoung was looking at her with a curious face.

"Mh," Mina nodded. "It's not a date, we can just go out and maybe, wait we should get coffee here first 'cause I really want coffee now and then outside there's a game I wanted to buy, I can do it online but if we go out maybe it's a good plan to go there. We can even get more paint for you and fruit."

"Are you sure?" Chaeyoung was still hesitant but Mina could see a tiny smile appearing on her lips. So she smiled at her and didn't answer, instead she reached for the corner of to leave a kiss.

"Yes," she said.

"Okay," Chaeyoung was fully smiling now, "if you really want to then we can go."

"Perfect."

They got ready to leave after a few more minutes of cuddling. Mina was excited, she was sure they would have a great time. Before leaving she made sure to give her a long kiss.

"Maybe we should stay here...." she joked after their kiss, looking at Chaeyoung's lips.

"No way," Chaeyoung turned around so she couldn't try anything probably. "I love that we are going out."

Mina hugged her from behind and moved them to the door. "Okay, let's go."

She let go and they got out, they had never gone outside campus like this, just the two of them, it was weird to think that they had shared so many things in their room but not much of any normal activity outside. Walking to get coffee first, Mina remembered the time she woke the girl up just to have company, that time she had taken her hand without thinking twice, why couldn't she do it now? It didn't mean anything, maybe she could just do it. She kept hesitating in her mind until they reached the tiny coffee shop, she gave Chaeyoung money and sent her to get both of their coffees while she waited outside. 'You're doing fine, Mina, it will be okay' After a few minutes Chaeyoung got back.

"Extra whipped cream for you." She handed her the coffee.

"Thanks," Mina smiled and they started walking to leave now. She decided she was brave enough, she had done it before, there was no need to be afraid, and held Chaeyoung's hand. She just took it and kept walking but Chaeyoung had stopped so she looked back. "Come on, don't panic now." She pulled from the hand.

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me for doing simple normal things that I should always do."

"Well, I take it back then."

"No, you're welcome," Mina answered and they just laughed and pushed each other while walking. This felt so right. What Mina didn't know is that a simple word could demolish all her progress of the past weeks in just a second.

"Mina." Hearing the voice she let go of Chaeyoung's hand so fast she felt stupid. Her stomach started feeling bad immediately. 'no, no, no, not now'

She turned around to where the voice came from, they were walking towards the nearest exit and they were passing by the parking lot near their dorm. "Kwan." He was getting out of his car. He walked quickly towards them. Mina was not reacting.

"I was about to call you," he said once he was next to both girls. 'well you should've called me before actually getting here but okay' Mina felt annoyed, this wasn't supposed to happen. Apparently, Mina took some time answering because he took it upon himself to greet Chaeyoung. "Hi, you must be Mina's friend, I'm her boyfriend nice to meet you."

'What!? Boyfriend?' Mina shook her head getting back to life, turning to see Chaeyoung's face, the girl looked completely serious, this was not good. Mina laughed a bit awkwardly. "Don't go around saying that," she answered Kwan. "You know we are not together," she said and then looked at Chaeyoung again. "We are not together," she tried to make her understand.

"Oh, but we will be." He reached for Mina's hand smiling. She had no time to move it away and she could not just let go, it would make Kwan confused. Chaeyoung had not said a word, this was all so wrong, she wanted to run. "Were you guys going out?"

"Yes," Mina replied quickly. "We were so uh, you should leave," she smiled trying to convince him.

"But where are you going? I could give you guys a ride, I don't mind." 'not the time to be a gentleman, Kwan'

"No, it's fine," Chaeyoung finally said something Mina felt relieved for a good second but then her voice was so strong, she was afraid of how mad she was feeling. "You guys go, I'll be leaving." She turned to leave but that couldn't be, no, they were supposed to go out, she couldn't go. Mina grabbed her arm before she could leave.

"No," She said way too quickly. "Uh, you can't go, we had plans."

"Yeah," Kwan said too looking at both of them, he still had Mina's hand. "I don't want to be the kind of boyfriend that interrupts Mina's time with her friends."

Mina was not sure what was worse in that sentence, the fact that he still referred as her boyfriend, the way he is very much interrupting, or the mention of Mina being with a friend. Looking at Chaeyoung's face she was probably thinking the same, Mina was not feeling well, she needed to do something without being suspicious in front of Kwan and trying not to hurt Chaeyoung's feelings. They were going out, they couldn't go back and Chaeyoung had been so happy of them being outside, she couldn't let Kwan ruin that. "Of course," she said without giving it much thought. "You can give us a ride" Mina smiled at Kwan and squeezed Chaeyoung's arm trying to make her understand that they just needed to get through this.

"Perfect." Kwan let go of Mina's hand just to support the lower part of her back and guide her to the car. "Let's go." Mina let go of Chaeyoung's arm trusting that the girl was going to follow them, she couldn't just leave her, right? Kwan opened the door for her and pointed at Chaeyoung to get in the backseat. Mina wanted to be in the backseat too but Kwan always insisted that she needed to be at the front seat with him. Chaeyoung was so quiet it was making Mina more worried. Why did Kwan have to come today? Well, even if he had come another day, Mina was not sure she could have rejected him but right now it was not that bad right? She had told him to go and she had told him they were not together, did Chaeyoung trust her? "Okay, where are we going?" Kwan spoke turning the car on.

"Just drive us downtown," Mina explained. "We can see from there."

"Got it," Kwan smiled at Mina and started driving. If it weren't for the music coming from the radio, the silence would be so awkward. Mina took her phone, she needed to explain Chaeyoung but what could she say?

To My Cry Baby 2:31 pm
hey, pls bear with me just this time pls pls
im so sorry

Chaeyoung didn't answer but Mina saw that she looked at the message, she guessed it was enough, at least she hadn't left. Kwan parked the car somewhere and had another brilliant idea.

"Have you had lunch yet?" He asked both of them. "I haven't, maybe we could eat something, my treat."

Mina was not believing her luck, it was nice that Kwan was so nice and he always invited her to eat and stuff but right now was not the moment, really, the lift had been enough.

"That's so nice of you, thank you, but there's no need we don't want to be a burden," Mina answered unfastening her seatbelt, she was more than ready to leave.

"You are not, since we couldn't go out at least I can have lunch with you, right?"

"Okay," Chaeyoung said getting out of the car. Mina panicked and got out of the car too.

"Perfect." She heard Kwan's voice again closing the door because he had left the car too. Getting to the sidewalk she looked at Chaeyoung with raised brows trying to ask why she had accepted. She had not said a word but when she did it was this, Mina was not finding the reason. "I actually parked close to this restaurant I've taken you to before."

Mina had no idea where that was but apparently, she had been there, they started walking and she could swear it was the most awkward thing ever, why on earth had she accepted? Couldn't Kwan feel the tension? Was it just her? When they got to the place, once inside, everyone sat at their own side of the squared table. After they order something, Kwan started talking as always about his job and his only funny to him stories, Mina was just nodding and smiling, as she was used to, but now she was also extremely nervous and every few seconds her eyes would look for Chaeyoung, who was weirdly paying attention to everything he was saying or maybe her eyes were fixed on him trying to make him disappear, Mina couldn't tell.

"And so that's enough about my day," Kwan kept talking. "Are you friends from classes?" He pointed at both girls moving his finger.

Mina was about to say yes, she felt there was no need for him to know the truth, neither the girlfriends part nor the roommates part, it would only make Mina more nervous but Chaeyoung talked first.

"We are roommates," she politely smiled at him, Mina felt her smile so wrong.

Kwan raised his eyebrows in a quick movement. "Oh, so you did change rooms." He looked at Mina. "Since you didn't tell me anything I thought you were still with that other girl."

"Right, I didn't tell you, it was just so fast," Mina nodded. Kwan having that information now made her feel exposed, she started bouncing one of her legs up and down without realizing it.

"I think I didn't quite catch your name." Kwan was now apparently interested in making conversation with Chaeyoung, Mina had no idea what to do she was just watching.

"That's 'cause I didn't say." She was still smiling at him Mina couldn't help but think it was a bit creepy. "Son Chaeyoung."

"Ah, great, I'll remember," He put his thumbs up, "I guess you already know my name, I hope." He turned to Mina saying the last thing. 'yeah, unlike you I don't go talking around much'

"Not that much, really" Mina was sure Chaeyoung was now just mocking him.

"Ah, well," he cleared his throat. "Does your mother know about your new roommate?" He turned to Mina again. 'what kind of question is that?'

"She knows I changed rooms, yes." Mina avoided the direct question. The food had not arrived yet Mina wondered why was it taking so long, she couldn't handle this much longer.

"Well, it's great that you changed," he said emphasizing the word great.

"Why?" Chaeyoung asked. 'Oh god, please, Chaeyoung now is not the time to get all defensive'

"Oh sorry, right, I didn't realize you could be like that too." Kwan could not be possibly talking about that now, Mina was more and more uncomfortable. "Apologies."

"What do you mean?" Chaeyoung insisted. Mina was getting flashbacks of the first time she interacted with her. 'please, let it go, please let it go'

Kwan had his charming face as always he didn't seem bothered. "I'm sure you know what I mean."

"Right," Mina spoke really quick. "Uh, we are friends with Sana."

"Sana, that was her name, I remember," Kwan nodded. "Friends... Mina, maybe you should think twice before picking your friends." 'ARE YOU ING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?'

"I think she is old enough to decide on her own," Chaeyoung interrupted. "Don't you trust her judgment?"

Kwan eyed Chaeyoung up and down at that. "I thought I did."

"Okay!" Chaeyoung got up real quick, Mina panicked again. "I think I need to go to the toilet, excuse me." She left fast, Mina considered following her but she could use the time to make him tone it down.

"That was rude," she began quietly.

"Mina please, your mother would faint knowing the looks of your new roommate, she doesn't know, am I wrong?"

"No."

"Why do they keep giving you weird roommates?"

"She's not weird," Mina was getting mad.

"She totally is she barely said a word and have you seen her? Is she trying to get bullied all the time or something? Making a statement?"

"Kwan, stop it, you are being weird," Mina talked a bit louder. "If she didn't talk much that's because you appeared out of nowhere in the middle of our plans."

"Why would you make plans anyway?" He was so sure of everything he was saying. "Why would you be friends?"

"Why would you go around introducing yourself as my boyfriend when you are not?"

"Mina, we both know we have something?" Mina wanted to laugh, he was so full of himself.

"We don't, we won't."

"Should I tell your mother that we won't?" Mina was impressed by this side of Kwan, well, maybe he has always been like this but she didn't mind seeing it before, now she couldn't believe she ever thought of him as a nice guy, he was awful, right? But what he said had got to Mina, it was not a good idea for her mother to hear that just like it was not a good idea for her mother to hear about this lunch.

"You mustn't tell her anything," Mina had left her mad state for a worried one, "she can't know Chaeyoung's my roommate either, please, don't tell her about today."

"Why?" Kwan was not the owner of that voice. ''

"Chaeyoung... it's-"

"It's only reasonable," Kwan interrupted her, looking at Chaeyoung that had returned and was standing next to the table. "Mina's mother would create a whole scene knowing you're her roommate."

Chaeyoung's face was full of pure disgust, Mina wanted all of this to stop, she shouldn't have left their room, it was all a mistake, this couldn't be happening. "What's wrong with me?"

"Chaeyoung, ther-" Mina tried to talk again.

"Oh please, I think it's quite-"

"Kwan! Shut up, would you?" Mina was frustrated, he seemed surprised, Mina had never raised her voice at him. 

"Why can't your mother know I'm your roommate, Mina?" 'oh no, baby, why would you ask that' Mina felt guilty, sad, confused, scared, this was not right at all, making Chaeyoung feel like this was always the worst. How did they get to this situation, they were happily cuddling this morning. 'it's all my fault, I asked too much, I shouldn't have invited her out' Mina was not sure what to answer, her mother couldn't know and that was it. "Are you ashamed of me?"

At that Kwan suppressed a laugh, Mina wanted to punch him, but she was too focused looking at Chaeyoung's eyes begging for her to understand she couldn't say or do anything. Chaeyoung looked not only disappointed but mad, really mad. "I'm..." Mina was not sure what to say, the words were not coming out.

"Okay, I got it." Chaeyoung turned to leave, Mina needed to follow her but Kwan held her hand before she could move.

"I told you she was weird."

"Kwan, please not now." Mina was afraid, afraid she had lost Chaeyoung, afraid she had messed up everything, that couldn't happen, Chaeyoung was her support. "I need to go."

"Let me drive you." 'not this again'

"She couldn't have gone far."

"Ah, you're going to find her."

"YES," Mina said way too loud. "I mean, yes, you were rude, I need to apologize." Mina was not okay but she still needed to keep her cool with Kwan.

"But why, I only stated the truth." 'god, how I hate you'

"Kwan, you were mean, she feels bad, that's not nice," Mina tried to reason with him.

"I guess you're right." 'great, you're not that stupid' Mina's head was full of hate for him, but also for her, she was more stupid.

Before leaving she needed to make sure. "Kwan, don't tell my mom about this."

Kwan looked hesitant. "I don't like hiding things from her."

"Please, you're right, she would only make a whole big deal."

"But maybe that's needed."

"Nothing's needed, god, Kwan, are you stupid!?" Mina couldn't resist it anymore, she got up and left too, leaving Kwan alone, she knew it was not the best idea, but she needed to find Chaeyoung and she had already lost time. She saw how the food arrived when she was leaving. 'Enjoy it, '

Once outside she just started walking, not thinking much, she tried to call Chaeyoung but the girl did not pick up, she tried to breathe better and think, there was no need for Chaeyoung to be wandering here, she needed to take the bus back to campus. Mina felt so bad, how could things change that easily, was Chaeyoung actually mad at her? At Kwan? Couldn't she see it was complicated? Mina had mixed thoughts, she knew she was wrong for making Chaeyoung go through all this, selfishly wanting her, but then she also felt like Chaeyoung made a big deal out of nothing, because it was nothing, right?

But it couldn't, it couldn't mean nothing if it made Chaeyoung feel sad. Everything could be fun and games and lies and hiding around until Chaeyoung got hurt because of her. She couldn't keep letting these things happen, Chaeyoung was going to get bored of her, tired of her cowardness, sick of her empty promises. Mina knew she was getting tired too.