Mina was happy because she had made a friend. An unexpected friend. Her room was now a place where she felt secure, she spent more time there than any other place, it was a comfort zone. Momo and Sana did not understand it but Mina had not put much effort into trying to explain why she was there all the time. She liked that it was something just for her. 

It was weird for Mina at first, but now she just did not put it into much thought whenever instead of buying one meal, she bought two, or whenever she was not going to be in her room, she let Chaeyoung know, because she knew the girl might buy something for her too, or if she was going to be late. Not that there was an hour specified to be late to but it was this unspoken agreement between the two of them, that they'll spend their evenings together. 

So it was a bit of a bummer when she received a text from Chaeyoung saying that she was not gonna be there anytime soon. 

From Chaeyoung :) 6:05 pm
finishing my presntation
ill be late
dont wait to eat

To Chaeyoung :) 6:06 pm
:(

From Chaeyoung :) 6:06pm
:)

'Clown'

Mina had no idea why the girl was so bad at typing or why whenever she received a text from her, it came like some precise piece of information, without context or connectors, Mina had to decipher them. 

Chaeyoung had been working really hard preparing for a presentation this past few days, Mina didn't know exactly what it was about but it seemed pretty serious so it was understandable that she was not coming early today, here she wouldn't get much work done. Mina did not want to eat alone, maybe she could bribe Momo into bringing her dinner.

To momoring 6:15 pm
you look beautiful today

From momoring 6:15pm
thank u
wait
you haven't seen me, what do u want

To momoring 6:16pm
let's eat dinner 

From momoring 6:20pm
won't you eat with your new bestie?

Mina could tell how jealous Momo was of all the time she had been spending with Chaeyoung, the girl did not try to hide it at all, but Mina could not be bothered, it was just Momo being Momo, in the end, she would always be by her side. 

To momoring 6:20pm
I'll be waiting in my room

From momoring 6:21pm
okay but im bringing Sana 

Mina was okay with that, the more the merrier, and it had been a while since the three of them had eaten together. Now she just had to wait for them to arrive. She looked at the painting on Chaeyoung's desk. It had now a blue background and the words:

Mina is bad at video games

She smiled at the memory. Yesterday they had been playing and as if it were a miracle, Chaeyoung had won more times than Mina did, which was really saying something. And when Mina woke up this morning, Chaeyoung was already gone and in the painting was that text written in white letters. It turns out that since the day Mina had asked Chaeyoung to paint, they had destroyed the original painting completely and now they used it as a whiteboard, leaving silly messages, Mina had even bought more acrylics because she didn't feel like using all the girl's materials. What Chaeyoung didn't know is that Mina had let her win. It was just too easy, the first time she saw her win and how much she had celebrated was really funny, so she kept letting her win and now Chaeyoung had been bold enough to let that in the board, well, canvas. 

Mina decided to fix it, it was her turn to paint it, so she covered all the letters with some blue and left it there to dry, she would write something in a while before Chaeyoung arrived.

She felt some aggressive knocking and knew the girls were there. 

"Why you gotta knock like that," she complained to Momo once she had opened the door. The two of them got in passing by the little hallway and immediately threw themselves in Mina's bed. Until Sana realized Chaeyoung's bed would be much more comfortable so she tried to lay there but Mina had stopped her. 

"Don't be a creep, Sana."

"But it's right there," she tried with her sweetest voice. "I bet it smells so good." 

"Yah, Sana stop it." Momo threw a pillow at her. 

"You just got here, guys, don't make a mess." Mina cried. Pushing Sana away from Chaeyoung's bed. "What did you bring? Why am I not seeing any bags?" Mina questioned.

"Yeah, about that," Momo began with a guilty face. "We were too lazy to buy something so we decided to get here and ask for delivery." She hit Sana in the arm. "Order something." 

"You were supposed to bring food, Momoring," Mina complained.

"It's the same, we'll be paying, don't cry." Momo got up to hug Mina from the side.

"Okay hurry,” she said to Sana while patting Momo's back. 

"On it," Sana smiled. Sana didn't ask what to order but they trusted her, anything would be fine by Mina. As they waited she let go of Momo and went to check on the paint, it was dry enough to write on it. She took the red acrylic and went with the word:

clown

She was smiling throughout the whole process, she felt like a kid. Momo got next to her and supported her head on her shoulder. "What you doing there?" 

"Oh," she said acknowledging Momo's presence on her shoulder with a tap on her head using her free hand. "It's nothing." She didn't feel like explaining the whole thing. But she felt how sad Momo hummed and nodded before leaving her shoulder. "It's just a game," she added. But Momo did not say anything else. 

"Any minute now," said Sana getting up and heading to Mina's closet. "You have a table in here, right?" 

"Yeah, go on," Mina answered finishing with her task. She saw Momo on her bed distracted using her phone, she could feel the girl slightly annoyed at her so she lay beside her snuggling closer. "Momooriiing," she began with a silly voice only available for Momo. "Don't be sulky." 

Momo left her phone and looked down at Mina "I'm not," she cried. 

"You are, I don't like it," Mina continued. "There's no reason to it." 

"I disagree," Momo tried to turn to the other side but Mina grabbed her tighter. 

"Oh, so you are annoyed." Mina found the loophole and Momo groaned.

"You spend too much time with her." 

"You spend too much time with Sana." 

"That's different, we are friends."

"So are Chaeyoung and I." Mina stated.

"But all three of us are friends, you could be with us too, but you keep your precious Chaeyoung a secret." 

"Don't be ridiculous." Mina was running out of patience. And it was not like that.

"I'm not, Sana sees it too, don't you, Sana?" She asked the other girl.

"Don't get me in all that," Sana signaled to Momo but then added, "although it's true that you keep Chaeyoung all to yourself, Minari, you won't even get me her number." At that Sana felt the door so she turned to get the food. 

Mina got up having had enough of the silly conversation. “You're delusional, Momo." 

"Okay," Momo gave up but she did not abandon her mood for the rest of the night.

It was 9PM they had eaten all the food Sana ordered, they should have checked on her when doing so because the girl went slightly overboard and order too much food. But somehow they ate everything. Momo was still sulking now supported in one of Sana's legs while this one was sitting on the floor checking her phone. Mina was at the other side of the small table collecting the trash to clean it. Chaeyoung was going to get here any minute now and that made Mina slightly nervous, the last time all four of them were together, things were not so nice. So she was on a mission to kick her friends out without raising suspicion. 

'it is late though, why aren't they leaving' Mina had the strong feeling that Sana wanted to see Chaeyoung. 

"I'm sleepy," she lied. "What time do you have classes tomorrow?" She asked mainly at Sana because she had classes with Momo tomorrow.

"Mhh…" Sana was distracted by her phone. "Let me check." 

"Momoring, we must get up early." Momo ignored her. 

"Oh, I have classes only in the afternoon." Sana chanted happily. 'Great'

She did not say anything else, just got up to put everything in the trash, then she put the table back in its place. And she heard the door opening. 'Great' 

Chaeyoung got through the small hallway leaving her things on her chair with a grunt, that's when she realized there were more people in her room than usual.

"Oh." She looked embarrassed. "Hi." 

Mina saw how Sana got up real quick almost dropping Momo, who just gave her a nasty look before getting up too. 

"Son Chaeyoung," Sana smiled, "sorry for invading your space." 

'Why does she always have to say her full name'

"It's okay, hi Sana." Chaeyoung moved to sit on her bed. "Hi, Momo, how are you?" She said looking at the still sulky girl.

''

But Momo tried to be polite anyway. "Hey," she ignored the question, "Sana, we have to go." 

' Finally'

"But Chaeyoungie just got here," Sana cried.

'Chaeyoungie?'

"Exactly," Mina found her voice to save Chaeyoung. "She must be tired."

"Oh, right," Sana understood, getting closer to Chaeyoung she added, "then… could I get your number?" She handed her phone with a smile. 

'Unbelievable'

"Uh…" Chaeyoung looked a little red, and gave a glance to Mina. 

'Why are you looking at me? It’s your number’ 

"Yeah, I guess so." Chaeyoung took the phone and wrote her number. 

"Thanks, I'll text you," Sana winked. 

'Too much'

"Well done, Sana, teach me your ways," Momo spat.

"Don't say that, Momoring," Mina complained. 'Why would she say that?'

At that Momo looked the worst she had looked throughout the whole time in the room, and that's saying a lot. "Right," she answered. "Are you ready, Sana?" 

"Okay, let's go, I'll walk you to your dorm." Sana had her room in the same building as Chaeyoung and Mina but she offered to walk Momo to hers.

"Bye, Minari, sleep well," Sana wished the girl. "You too, Chaeyoungie." 

Mina gave her a quick smile and then walked them to the door where she grabbed Momo. "Stop this," she whispered to her ear while giving her a hug. Momo hugged her back but she didn't say anything and they left.

Back in her room she saw a sleepy Chaeyoung cuddle on top of her bed with clothes still on. 

'Cute'

"Take your clothes off," Mina said moving the girl's arm so she wouldn't fall asleep but there was no need for that because as soon as she said those words, Chaeyoung's eyes opened wide. 

"What?" The girl asked confused, Mina laughed at her 'She must be really tired to not understand basic instructions'

"You still have clothes on, put on your pyjamas if you're going to sleep," Mina explained with a voice that indicated how obvious her request had been. Chaeyoung got up lazily.

"Okay, mom," she groaned and left for the bathroom. 

'Clown'

***

The next morning Mina woke up in a good mood. She turned around to look at Chaeyoung but she had already left.

'Right, her presentation' Mina thought she must have left early to get ready for that. She wished she could've said good luck or something so she reached for her phone and typed a quick text. 

To Chaeyoung :) 9:30am
Fighting! 

Chaeyoung did not answer but that was okay, she must be busy. Mina got up after a few minutes of scrolling on her phone, she had to go to classes too. While getting ready she saw the board-canvas had changed. It still had a main blue background but you could still see some red of the letters that were there before Chaeyoung had covered them with some white, and draw a quick doodle of a penguin, and above it, there was an arrow signaling the word you. 

To Chaeyoung :) 10:04am
What does it mean im a penguin? 

Mina took a photo of the board-canvas because she liked penguins, and this one was cute. Then she left for her classes of the day. She met Momo and the girl seemed better than yesterday, that was good. When she was in the middle of falling asleep during one of the lectures, her phone vibrated. 

From Chaeyoung :) 12:23pm
You waddle
thank u

Mina got confused for a second, Chaeyoung's way of texting was really annoying, but she found it fun in a way. She figured that she had said thank you at her first text and that she was a penguin because she waddles. 'I don't waddle' She put her phone back in her pocket to keep paying attention, or trying. Momo was next to her already snoring and drooling. She'd have to wake her soon because the class was about to end.

When the professor dismissed the class, she took advantage of sleeping Momo and took a picture of her. It might be useful in the future. She then woke the girl up who was really confused of space and time. They grabbed lunch together and parted ways because they had different lessons now.

Before leaving Momo apologized for her behavior yesterday. Mina found it really admirable that she had apologized. And she also was glad because it really didn't make sense. Momo's motives were really not there.

"Thank you, I don't like sulky Momo," Mina appreciated.

"You don't like any Momo." The girl looked away.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Apparently, Momo was not okay after all.

"Nothing, really, sorry." She looked up smiling. "I'll try and behave."

Mina was not buying it but she didn't want to pressure the girl either so she just let it go. "Momoring, if you need to talk to me about something just do it, okay, I'm here for you always," Mina tried to make her feel better, but it was hard for her because she was never the one giving comfort.

"Thank you, I have to go now, you too." Momo hugged Mina for a minute and then left.

'Sulky'

She finished her classes for the day around 5pm and was more than happy to finally head back to her room. On her way there she texted Chaeyoung to let her know she was going to be there soon and to not buy anything, because she was going to. She didn't buy cake, but cookies. Chocolate chip cookies. It wasn't dinner but they could buy that later. Chaeyoung did not answer even though by this time of the day she must have been done with her presentation, but Mina ignored it.

What Mina didn't know is that she was going to get to her room, that for some reason was really dark, to find a curled up Chaeyoung sitting in the corner of her bed, with the curtains closed.

'Oh no'

She left her things on her bed and got closer to Chaeyoung.

"Hey," she tried in a low voice. Cheyoung did not answer. Mina felt a bit lost, she was not good at these things. She was always receiving comfort, not the other way around. And she didn't know what had happened either.

"Are you okay?" She asked. 'Of course she's not okay, Mina what kind of question is that' Mina cursed herself.

Chaeyoung lifted her head up from between her legs just a bit to look at Mina. She was crying. Her eyes were red and her lips were quivering.

"Hey,” she said in almost a whisper. "What happened?"

Chaeyoung put her head back again. "I failed," she sobbed. "I don't know what happened I-" But she was stopped by her own muffled cried.

At that Mina reacted and sat next to her putting a hand on her back. "Hey.” she whispered. "Breathe,” she tried calming her roommate's whimpers by caressing her back softly. It did not work apparently because, with every on her back, Chaeyoung left out more whimpers. "It's okay," Mina tried again.

"It's not, it really isn't," Chaeyoung tried to talk between sobs. "I just froze."

"In your presentation?" Mina guessed.

"I couldn't do it," Chaeyoung said sniffing. "Everything was okay and then- then I- I don't know what happened."

Mina did not know what to say. Apparently Chaeyoung had failed her presentation because she couldn't do it. Was it nervousness? Did she have stage fright?

So Mina didn't say anything, she just stayed there waiting for Chaeyoung to stop crying while patting her back. The only sound in the room were Chaeyoung's sobs. Mina felt useless, frustrated even because she wanted to make the girl feel better, she just didn't know how.

Minutes passed and her sobs were decreasing, but Mina was still caressing her back, thinking about how this was the most physical she had ever been with the girl. Was it okay? Chaeyoung didn't seem to mind, but still, she wasn't in her right mind. Mina just thought that this is what you were supposed to do when someone was feeling like that, so she kept doing it, hoping for the girl to calm down. After another couple of minutes, Chaeyoung wasn't crying out loud, she was just breathing weirdly and shaking a little with her face still hidden. The quiet atmosphere of the room made Mina slightly nervous, she wanted clown Chaeyoung back. But she didn't feel uncomfortable, it was quite the opposite. She wasn't sure she was helping the girl, but she got lost in every movement, stopping with her she just got closer and held Chaeyoung tight.

'She really is tiny'

She could feel Chaeyoung's agitated breathing. "Hey," She tried again. "It's over now."

Chaeyoung took a deep breath and looked up slowly, turning around to face Mina. Her eyes were watery, Mina felt awful.

"Did you cry enough?" She asked while carefully wiping a single tear falling down Chaeyoung's cheek. She could see how Chaeyoung closed her eyes at the contact, so she left her hand there and Chaeyoung didn't open her eyes again, so Mina kept staring at her face. She saw how tight she was closing her eyes, how her cheeks were pink, how her lips were still quivering from time to time, and her little mole right beneath them. The hand that was holding her face, could feel how the crying had made the girl's temperature rise.

"Does your head hurt?" She moved her hand to Chaeyoung's forehead. Chaeyoung nodded while opening her eyes, so she removed her hand and stood up to search inside her nightstand for a painkiller, she took a water bottle that was on top and handed it all to the fragile girl in front of her. "Take it.” Chaeyoung did it all really slow and Mina kept staring at her from her position standing up, suddenly she missed Chaeyoung's heat. 

"Do you want a cookie?" Mina asked, not really knowing what else to offer. "Chocolate chip cookie." Chaeyoung nodded, so Mina turned to get the package, opening it and extending her hand so Chaeyoung could get a cookie, but the girl didn't move and opened instead. 

"Okay, now you're just taking advantage of my kindness,” Mina complained to which Chaeyoung moved her head from left to right denying the accusation and opening again. So Mina left out a big breath and took a cookie with her hand to give it to the girl. Chaeyoung took it gladly. 

'Okay she's back'

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She moved to sit next to Chaeyoung again, this time she kept her distance, the girl wasn't crying anymore so there was no need to get any closer. Chaeyoung shook her head again. 

"Do you wanna talk at all?" Chaeyoung looked away as if thinking about it and then she shook her head again one last time before getting closer to Mina and leaning down to support her head on Mina's lap. Mina was taken aback, but she tried not to react, because Chaeyoung was already in a bad state, she didn't want to make her feel worst. For a moment she just let her be, but then she moved her hand to Chaeyoung's hair. Why? Because it looked soft. So she started playing with her hair. Now there was actual silence as Chaeyoung was no longer crying or sniffing, but it was a nice silence.

"Your hair is getting longer."

"I know," Chaeyoung finally said something again. Her voice was raspy and low.

They stayed like that for some time until Chaeyoung spoke again. 

"I'm sorry,” she began. "I shouldn't have lost control like that.” Mina could feel the girl getting slowly agitated again. "You shouldn't have seen me like that, I should've-"

"No, don't say that,” Mina cut her off, moving her hand from Chaeyoung's hair to Chaeyoung's back once again. "You would've done the same for me.”

"I wouldn't have," Chaeyoung joked causing Mina to push her out of her lap. "Hey,”Chaeyoung protested. 

"You deserved that.”

"But I'm hurting.”

"That doesn't mean you can be mean to me.”

"I'm not,” Chaeyoung tried to get on Mina's lap once again and Mina didn't stop it. "You know I was just joking.”

It's true, Mina knew she was just joking, because there's no way the girl wouldn't have done the same for her. She probably would have done better. 

"I guess you're feeling better.”

"Thank you.”

"You owe me now.”

"Okay,” Chaeyoung accepted without protesting and got up. "What do you want?"

Mina thought for a moment, she wanted her happy roommate back, but she would never say that, so she spent time looking around the room, that's when she saw the board-canvas and remembered something.

"I don't waddle,” she frowned.

Chaeyoung laughed at the sudden statement. "But you do.”

"How so?"

"You just do, sometimes.”

"How would you know that, do you stare at me all the time?" Mina felt embarrassed while saying those words because she was the one always staring at her roommate.

"You wish,” Chaeyoung grinned. 'Clown'

"I'm not Sana.”

At that Chaeyoung made a face and groaned "Mina, about that,” she began, “I know she is your friend and all but the girl is really intense.”

"Okay, why are you telling me, there's nothing I can do,” Mina scoffed. 'I don't want to know about her lovers' 

"I just- she's been texting me nonstop, maybe you could tell her to calm down.”

"Are you serious right now?" Mina got annoyed. "You tell her that.”

"But-" 

"Please, Chaeyoung, you don't have to be nice all the time.” Mina got up. "If you don't like it, then tell her.” She saw how troubled Chaeyoung looked, so she grabbed the girl's phone that was on her nightstand in a rushed decision and turned to Chaeyoung. "Unlock it," she commanded. Chaeyoung looked at her with a weird face but complied either way. At this point, Mina knew she was doing something wrong, but she kept doing it ignoring all her rational senses. She searched for Sana's contact and saw all the unanswered texts. 

"Okay you were not exaggerating,” she accepted Chaeyoung's complaint.

"Wait, Mina, what will you do?" Chaeyoung tried to grab the phone but Mina turned around.

"You asked for help.” Mina was just going with it now. 'You will regret it later, Mina' "Shut up," she said out loud without realizing. 'shit' 

"What?" Chaeyoung try to grab the phone again.

"Nothing,” Mina moved again. "Trust me,” she added. 'You don't even trust yourself'

To Sana 7:34pm
I'm seeing someone, pls stop texting me. 

"There,” she handed Chaeyoung her phone. "She must stop with that.”

Chaeyoung's face dropped while reading the text. "Mina, why did you write that!?" She could see how the girl looked more troubled now. 

'Okay, that wasn't supposed to happen'

"I'm doing you a favor," Mina tried to explain. "You were too nice to say anything, now she'll stop." 

"Okay, but you didn't have to lie like that,”Chaeyoung insisted. "Oh god, she answered back.”

From Sana 7:36pm
You should have told me before, sorry for bothering you, chaeyoung :(

'how nice' 

"She's sad." Chaeyoung was panicking now. "I'll call her.”

"And tell her what?"

"That you took my phone.”

"And would she believe that?" Mina felt so guilty. "It doesn't make sense.”

"Right, okay, I'll tell her I was joking.”

"Why would you do that, you wanted her to stop, now she won't try again.”

Chaeyoung let out a groan. "Okay,” she said. "Thanks, I guess.”

Mina had no idea how they move on from Chaeyoung crying to this. She preferred the quiet and peace of some moments ago. It was all her fault.  She preferred to have the girl on her lap again than panicking over Sana's feelings. Yeah, it was all her fault.