Nayeon has many good qualities, she believes.

Nayeon is really confident, she knows her capacities, she is aware of her intelligence, she's witty, she's beautiful, she's sure she is the best girlfriend ever, that's important to mention and above all, she is an excellent friend. But do you know who is not? Chaeyoung.

Nayeon has been mad at Chaeyoung, even if the latter doesn't know it yet. She had seen her only a couple of times this last month. Nothing could excuse her behavior, she was sure that whatever was happening with her friend, was not enough to avoid her, her best friend, for this long. From the couple of times she saw her, the first one was only to lie to her and Jeongyeon. Nayeon couldn't believe how much she had underestimated her. 'How stupid does she think I am?' But well, Jeongyeon had believed her, she was always trusting Chaeyoung despite what Nayeon thought, but Nayeon was always right, how could Chaeyoung not follow her advice.

The second time she saw her, recently, Chaeyoung looked the happiest she has ever seen her, but every time she pointed that out Chaeyoung just ignored her or changed the subject. It was annoying and the only reasonable explanation was Mina.

That girl was the reason for Chaeyoung's heartache, it could only be her the reason it was okay now or so fast, but it made Nayeon mad because Chaeyoung was probably lying to herself again. Nayeon couldn't understand how she had been so heartbroken, crying and shaking over her, just because of a silly fantasy, and the next day, she probably had seen her again caring the slightest bit for her and her heart got all fixed and she was fooling herself again thinking that their weird friendship could be something else. As if.

When she called Mina because Momo told her she was asking for Chaeyoung, it surprised her how worried she sounded, it was understandable how Chaeyoung could get so confused if the girl talked to her in that way too, probably worst. Nayeon was mad that Chaeyoung was being so naive, hadn't been enough all the crying and pain she felt in Jeongyeon's room? No. She was still believing things that were just not there, Nayeon was sure, that could be the only reason for her happiness and also the fact that she was avoiding her and ignoring her about the topic because probably Chaeyoung was ashamed of telling her that again after her sad scene and after she apologized to her for feeling things. And she was probably right in doing so because if she had told Nayeon that again, all the 'Mina is so nice with me' 'We get along now' 'She is so clingy'  bull, Nayeon was sure she would have ended up shouting at her.

But at the same time, it was frustrating that the girl was not trusting her with that, even if she was being stupid, a best friend needed to tell her all that stuff, so she could change her mind and help her. She complained daily with Jeongyeon but it was frustrating too that her own girlfriend, was on Chaeyoung's side. And right now they had been discussing it for several minutes.

"You don't understand her like I do," Nayeon insisted for the third time. "I know when she's acting stupid."

They were at Jeongyeon's room enjoying a comfy Saturday afternoon until the Chaeyoung topic appeared again. She had her head in Jeongyeon's lap. "Bunny, I swear you're overreacting, she's just been busy, she must have a reason."

Hearing that again she moved away from her position. "Don't bunny me," she frowned. "You're a traitor, we are over."

"You know, you can't keep breaking up with me every time we disagree on something, then I won't be able to tell when it actually happens."

Nayeon left a quick kiss on her lips, still frowning. "It won't ever happen." Jeongyeon smiled. "But right now, we are over, you can't keep defending her."

Jeongyeon giggled. "Have you tried telling her exactly the words you tell me, how she is the worst?"

"Of course I have! look." Nayeon reached for her phone on the bed. Scrolling a few messages up in Chaeyoung's chat.

To Chaeyoungie
You are the worst friend ever

From Chaeyoungie
do you still have those led lights in your room?

"What's the context of this?" Jeongyeon was looking confused at the messages.

"I thought that if I sent her that, she at least would have tried to defend herself again, but she completely ignored me."

"Why did she need led lights?"

"She broke her night lamp, you see? She's dumb."

"Did you offer her mine?"

"Yes, scroll down, but she wanted the led lights." Nayeon moved her hands dismissing the subject. "But that's not important."

"Maybe you are right," Jeongyeon suddenly said.

"I'm always right, but why?"

"Because," Jeongyeon began, "I still think that you should let her be, but maybe you're right in thinking that she is fooling herself again."

"Great, we can get back together." Nayeon this time moved to sit on Jeongyeon's lap. "You should always be on my side, but why do you believe me now?"

"These led lights, bet she wanted them to make her room cuter."

"Cute?"

"Mh, romantic even."

"What? Are you telling me I helped her fulfill her fantasies?" Nayeon frowned again. "Just because of the lights?"

"Well I do think she and I think quite alike, that's why I trust whatever she is doing." Jeongyeon surrounded Nayeon's waist. "And if I had you as my roommate, I would want cute led lights too."

Nayeon raised a hand to caress Jeongyeon's cheek. "I need those led lights back, god."

Jeongyeon laughed at Nayeon's disgust. "But then, I'm just guessing, we can't know, stop stressing about it now."

"I swear if she appears crying in my room, I'll send her here." She surrounded Jeongyeon's neck.

"That's fine," Jeongyeon smiled. "I'd happily do your best friend tasks for you." She kissed Nayeon's cheek.

"Give me a real kiss."

"Jihyo will be here any minute."

"So what? I'm asking for a kiss, nothing else."

Jeongyeon smiled. "It's never just a kiss with you."

"Well, I bet Jihyo would be glad to watch some action in her life."

"You're mean," Jeongyeon got closer to Nayeon's lips, "I love you."

Nayeon smiled feeling her close. "I love you too." After saying that, Jeongyeon actually gave her a kiss, but as soon as their lips touched, they heard the door.

"Okay! I'm back, you better not be ." Jihyo's loud voice filled the room. Jeongyeon left a quick kiss on Nayeon's lips before backing away.

"Such great timing." Nayeon got out of her position to greet Jihyo. "How are you?"

"I'm tired, I've been having trouble sleeping." Jihyo sat on her bed.

"Jeongyeon's snores?"

Jihyo laughed. "No, it's not her fault."

"Well, you should rest then, I'll be leaving now, Jeongyeon's boring."

"Right." Jeongyeong got up too. "Should I walk you?"

"I don't know, should I go to Chaeyoung's room? Now I want those lights."

"I shouldn't have told you about the lights," Jeongyeon regretted.

Nayeon sighed. "I'm mad again now!"

"Why are you mad?" Jihyo wanted to know

"She's mad at Chaeyoung."

"Chaeyoungie, I miss her, why are you mad, you can't be mad at her, she's a cutie."

"Please, Jihyo, she's awful."

"Nayeon don't say that, you know that's not true." Jeongyeon rubbed her back.

"It's your fault, you got that lights thing in my head." Nayeon rested her head on Jeongyeon's shoulder.

"What lights? Why are you mad?"

"Nayeon's been mad at her because she believes Chaeyoung's been fooling herself again with the Mina thing." Jeongyeon roughly explained.

Jihyo tilted her head. "Wasn't that over the day we had her crying here?"

"Yes!" Nayeon interrupted. "But that's the thing you all saw her, she was a mess but then she got all fine again, so quick, and why you may ask, let me tell you why-"

"Nayeon you don't know that," Jeongyeon interrupted.

"Let her talk, I'm interested now."

"Your cutie Chaeyoung must have seen worried Mina looking for her, and she got all fooled again, she thrives from these fantasies, I'm sure, I know her," Nayeon kept explaining completely into the topic, "bet Mina smiles at her, and she is ready to abandon her life for her. Your Chaeyoungie is a dreamer and a fool. Right, and also I promised Jeongyeon that if she comes crying to my door, I'll send her here, so be ready, mark my words."

"Well last time she came here first," Jeongyeon objected.

"Right, then don't call me."

"Please, we all saw how she only got better with you, stop it, you love her."

"Okay, calm down, what's with the lights?" Jihyo was confused.

"She asked me for some led lights, and I thought nothing of it, but Jeongyeon made me believe she uses them to have adequate lightning in her room."

"I don't get it." 'Of course you won't get it'

"Dimmed lights make everything more romantic, she wanted them for Mina, we guess."

"Okay, I think maybe you two are theorizing too much, it's just lights." Jihyo looked at them as if they were crazy and maybe they were, Nayeon couldn't tell.

"Well, lights or not, I'm still mad at her, for acting this way and for not telling me. The worst part is I think it's entirely her fault, I even like Mina, the poor girl was just born pretty."

"What you like her too?" Jeongyeon pretended to be jealous, but Nayeon knew it was impossible.

"Please, she has enough with both of them." Nayeon didn't realize what she was saying, she was too focused on hating Chaeyoung.

"Both of them?" Jeongyeon and Jihyo asked at the same time.

'Oh no' Nayeon closed her eyes really tightly grabbing her head with one hand. "," she said out loud. "There's no way you guys let that pass, right?"

"No way," Jihyo crossed her legs on top of the bed, smiling up at Nayeon, "I love drama."

"Wait, what could you know that I don't?"

"Oh, many things, baby, but I still love you, you know what you need to know," Nayeon reassured Jeongyeon in her own way.

"Right," Jeongyeon nodded. "Well if you are not supposed to say then don't."

Nayeon thought for a moment and then sighed. "The thing is now that it slipped my mouth, I think I want to, I haven't told anyone and I know how to keep secrets but it's just so good! And you guys won't tell anyone." She turned to Jeongyeon. "Please let me tell you."

"Please let her tell us." Jihyo looked with puppy eyes at Jeongyeon.

One of the many things she adored about her girlfriend, were her many values, Jeongyeon had really good character values, but right now she wanted to tell them, it wasn't that bad, it's not like something bad would happen if they knew. "I'm not sure I want to know something I'm not supposed to know."

"Jeong, please, I swear it's worth it, and I swear nothing would happen if you know unless you do something with that information but you won't."

"We won't," Jihyo pressured.

"Okay, I trust you," Jeongyeon accepted.

"Perfect," Nayeon left a breath and moved her hands to emphasize, "okay."

"Just say it," Jihyo clapped

"Wait now I'm nervous."

"Oh, please." Jeongyeon turned around losing interest.

"Okay okay, so, for the record, I know I wasn't supposed to say and that is wrong that I'm breaking that trust but it's really not that big of a deal and yes, maybe I'm just saying this for my peace of mind, but yeah," Nayeon spoke really fast. "So, who do you think it is?"

"Well," Jeongyeon got back to them, "if you think abo-"

"It's Momo!" Nayeon blurted.

"What? But does Mina know? Isn't she her best friend, doesn't she know Mina is not really into all that?" Jihyo asked confused.

"I know right, real cliché falling for your best friend."

"Is she like a Tzuyu?"

"Exactly like that," Nayeon nodded. "She hasn't said anything to her, but I guess it makes sense knowing Mina, unlike Tzuyu who could've perfectly said something."

"Wait, so, is she going to be Chaeyoung's rival or something?" Jeongyeon asked.

"I don't think any of them has a chance, really." Nayeon turned to her girlfriend. "Maybe they should date each other, that seems more likely."

"But isn't Momo with Dahyun or something?" Jihyo added. "Since I made them kiss, oh god." She looked down embarrassed.

"Oh, yeah, I've seen them in my room, but I didn't feel like asking so I just left them," Nayeon frowned at the memory. "It seemed I was not supposed to be there."

"Well, they're just having fun I guess," Jeongyeon grabbed Nayeon's hand, "come on, it's getting late, I'll walk you."

"Alright," Nayeon accepted. "Just, don't say anything about Momo and be mad at Chaeyoung if you see her," she said last to Jihyo. "Sleep tight." Jihyo said goodbye too and ask Jeongyeon to bring some things, then they were walking towards Nayeon's dorm, hand in hand but really close to each other, so you could barely see they were holding hands.

"What are we doing tomorrow?" Jeongyeon asked softly.

"I plan to sleep a lot, but then maybe I could let you know if I miss you enough."

"Okay, sounds perfec.t" Jeongyeon was used to the way Nayeon showed her love.

It was not that dark outside yet, but it was quite cold. "Let's walk faster so you get back faster, it's cold," Nayeon hurried.

"It's okay, I'm with you."

"I know but then you'll get sick."

"Okay." Jeongyeon held her hand tighter and started running, making Nayeon run too.

"That's not what I meant!" Nayeon argued laughing. "Stop."

"You asked for it!" Jeongyeon kept guiding her.

"I did not, I just wanted to go quicker!"

"Same thing," Jeongyeon stopped at that, she turned to Nayeon smiling.

"You're a fool."

"We are closer now, you're welcome."

Nayeon just smiled and they kept walking, they did get to their destination faster. Jeongyeon walked Nayeon until right outside her door. "Run back now," Nayeon said caressing her girlfriend's hand.

"Will do." Jeongyeon leaned down to kiss her cheek. Nayeon didn't ask for real kisses outside. "Good night, Bunny."

"Go, before I regret it," Nayeon smiled pushing her, it was better to tell her that than saying nice things and not wanting for her to leave. Jeongyeon smiled back and left running. "Faster!" Nayeon screamed at her before getting inside her room. 'how I love her'

Once inside she greeted Momo, she had revealed her secret, yes, but she was ignoring that, no one needed to know. It's not like she had outed her, that would've been different. "Hey."

"Hey," Momo smiled. "Did you have a great time?"

"Yes," Nayeon answered looking for her things to get a shower. "Were you here all day?"

"No, I hung out with Sana, but I did get back here a while ago."

"Awesome," Nayeon kept walking around, "I'm gonna take a shower now."

"All yours, I would probably take one later, now I'm too lazy to even change clothes."

"You are always lazy" Nayeon mocked her. Momo was about to throw a pillow at her when someone knocked on the door, a weird knock by the way. "Are you waiting for someone?"

"No," Momo frowned "Go see."

"Why do I always have to go?"

"Because," Momo argued, "you are pretty, we want to receive our guest with the finest view." Nayeon couldn't help but smile, flattering her always worked.

"You're right." She turned to go get the door. It was not what she had expected.

"Nayeonnie," A really smiley Chaeyoung was outside her door, with a bag full of alcohol, "I've missed you, I came to drink with you." She didn't look that drunk, but she was apparently planning to.

"What's all this?" Nayeon asked a bit annoyed pointing at Chaeyoung.

"Let me in, I'm tired."

Nayeon sighed, she had told Jeongyeon and Jihyo she was going to send her if the girl was crying, not drunk. She grabbed Chaeyoung's arm and guided her inside, she sat in the corner of her bed. "Okay give me that." She took the bag leaving it aside.

"Hello, Momo, how are you today? Want a drink?" Chaeyoung was giggling like a fool.

"Uh," Momo was sitting on her bed looking a the weird scene, "yeah, fine, thanks," she answered looking at Nayeon for an explanation.

"Okay, Chaeyoungie," Nayeon turned to the girl that had a bottle in her hand, "what's happening here?"

"I want to get drunk," she stated. "I want to get really really drunk," she repeated before taking all that was left in the bottle really fast.

"Well, I'm glad you came here to do it," Nayeon answered, whatever Chaeyoung wanted to avoid, she was glad she had come to her, and not just wandered around drinking. "Let me help you with that." She took one of the bottles of the bag, so Chaeyoung couldn't drink them all, but she probably had already drunk some by now, it was getting to her.

Chaeyoung opened another bottle. "GREAT!" She stood up jumping but then fell immediately missing the bed.

"Oh, god, Chaeyoung, what the hell are you trying to do?" Nayeon had tried to be cool, but she was worried now.

"I'm celebrating, we are all celebrating, let's drink." She kept drinking from the floor. Nayeon sighed again.

"Okay, what are you celebrating?"

"I'm not sure yet..." Chaeyoung's voice was still clear, but her tone was different from the usual, louder.

"She's funny," Momo commented still looking at them.

"This is not funny." Nayeon stood up now looking at Chaeyoung on the floor. "Okay, enough, this is not funny, you avoid me all this time and now you come here drunk, what's going on? Because you certainly only come to me when you're sad."

Chaeyoung kept drinking but then lifted her head to look at Nayeon, she was crying. "I'm sorry I've been ignoring you, it's just easier."

"What is?"

"I can't say."

"Oh, you can't say, wonderful." Nayeon was mad. "What can be so complicated that you can't even tell me."

"I'm sorry," Chaeyoung repeated, Nayeon felt bad for the girl, she couldn't stay mad long. She kneeled in front of her.

"Chaeyoungie." She looked at her teary eyes. Nayeon didn't want to hear the answer to her question but still. "Who did this to you?"

"I did this to me," Chaeyoung laughed. "I like getting drunk." She took another big sip, Nayeon tried to grab the bottle but Chaeyoung moved her head to the side. 'She hates getting drunk, she gets all clumsy'

"Chaeyoung, come on" Momo spoke from her position. "Nayeon's just trying to help."

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know who did this to me," Chaeyoung suddenly said, her voice was getting messier.

Nayeon was getting nervous she stood up again. "Chaeyoung stop drinking, you don't even like it that much," she commanded but Chaeyoung was now laying on the floor, laughing and crying, not really understanding anything. Nayeon turned to Momo, she had a bad feeling but it might get her all the answers. "Could you possibly text Mina?" She asked in a low voice, but either way, Chaeyoung was not paying attention, Nayeon could see from the corner of her eye she had taken another bottle. "Maybe she saw her earlier or something."

"You two, I should probably give you guys each other's numbers." Momo shook her head. "Here, you text her, tell her is you." She handed her phone.

"I want to get dru- drunk, Nayeonnie, I like it," Chaeyoung spoke loudly from her new position in Nayeon's bed. "That way she's gone."

"You are already drunk," Momo answered for Nayeon. "Won't you tell us who happen to you?"

Chaeyoung looked at Momo, took a big sip, and pointed at her. She took a few seconds pointing before answering. "I'm- I'm not that drunk yet." She kept drinking after that.

Nayeon texted Mina.

To Minari 8:55pm
Hey, it's Nayeon
do you happen to know why Chaeyoung is drinking her feelings away in my room? thx

Nayeon didn't want to be right this time, even if being right always felt nice, it didn't feel nice when Chaeyoung was hurting, she didn't want for Mina to be the reason, again. She was both mad and sad. She handed the phone back to Momo. "There, she hasn't answered yet, let me know if she writes anything."

Momo took the device "She saw it, but she is not online."

"Guess she doesn't know." Nayeon felt better, Mina probably didn't even care and had nothing to do with it. She wanted to be wrong about all her previous guesses.

"Nayeonnie," Chaeyoung spoke again. "Dri- drink with me."

"Chaeyoungie, please, what happened?" Nayeon got closer to Chaeyoung taking the bottle in her hands.

"Do I- Do I look like a boy?" Chaeyoung suddenly asked trying to reach for the bottle Nayeon had taken.

"What? No, boys are ugly."

"I- I know," she answered. "Am I?"

"Ugly? What are you talking about?"

"I'm- I'm..." Chaeyoung seemed to have forgotten the words. "How- How do... you say when uh, she, she is..."

"Chaeyoung, you're not making sense now." Nayeon saw tears again on her face, she tried to wipe them away but Chaeyoung moved away from her.

"No, no," she tried to smile. "We are celebrating, we- we don't uh, think."

"Okay, it's not fun anymore, what's wrong with her?" Momo asked.

"She is heartbroken if am not mistaken or something like that."

Chaeyoung laughed at that. "No, no," she repeated. "We- I'm, it's not, I'm mad."

"You are mad? You don't look mad." Nayeon tried to get some answers.

"I'm su- super mad." Chaeyoung for some reason was sitting on the floor again, she was a mess. "He is- he is- the embarrassing one."

"He?" Nayeon was really confused now. "Who?"

"Dickhead." Chaeyoung giggled but she still had her eyes watery, it was heartbreaking, really. "Ruined, he- ruined all."

"Chaeyoung I can't help you if I-" Nayeon didn't finish because a loud knock was heard, louder than Chaeyoung's.

"Oh!" Chaeyoung exclaimed. "Hide." She grabbed a pillow to cover her face. Momo got up to get the door.

"Why are you hiding, dummy?"

"'Cause I'm drunk that's- that's..." She was really having trouble with words.

Then Momo's voice was heard. "What are you doing here?"

Nayeon looked away from Chaeyoung to see who was at the door, Mina had stormed inside leaving a confused Momo behind without saying a word. She kneeled in front of Chaeyoung and moved the pillow away.

"Chaeyoung," she spoke softly. Nayeon was a bit scared, this didn't look fine, she was not sure if interfering. So she just witnessed the scene.

As soon as Chaeyoung heard Mina's voice, she backed away in her position on the floor trying to hide again. "No," she said, turning to Nayeon. "Why- why's she here?"

"Chaeyoung, look at me," Mina insisted.

"Nayeonnie, help." Chaeyoung had her pillow again in between her and Mina. Momo had returned next to her bed, she was frowning at the whole thing. Nayeon tried to reach for Chaeyoung but Mina stopped her.

"No, please, let me," she asked really softly to Nayeon, who for some reason trusted her voice and just let her. "Hey," she said again trying to get the pillow away.

Chaeyoung moved again. "No," she cried. "Get away, go." She threw the pillow at Mina, who dodge it with her hand, using the now free space to get closer to Chaeyoung, who had her eyes closed really tightly.

"Chaeyoung, calm down, okay?" Mina wiped her tears away with both hands and left them there in Chaeyoung's cheeks. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Nayeon was so shocked witnessing everything that was happening. She turned to look at Momo, who was looking surprised and confused too.

"No," Chaeyoung answered opening her eyes, she was looking at Mina annoyed. "Just go." Her words seemed to be better, maybe it was the rage she was using to say them.

"I'm not leaving you like this."

"You don't care."

"I do."

"You're- you're ashamed." Chaeyoung tried to move Mina's hand out of her face but Mina got even closer.

"I'm not, I just got scared."

"You're lying, just leave." Chaeyoung started moving her arms and legs, trying to get Mina away, Nayeon felt she needed to do something again but she was too immersed in the scene. Mina was having a hard time calming the girl. Chaeyoung was out of control now, she just kept moving and whispering things under her breath.

"Chaeyoung," Mina repeated trying to hold her arms, "Chaeyoung please, let's go back."

"No, I won't go anywhere with you," Chaeyoung voice was shaky, "I'm embarrassing."

Mina tried to hold her. "No, you are not." But Chaeyoung pushed her away again.

"I am, I am, you- he-" She took a deep breath. "You didn't- you-"

"Baby, there's nothing wrong with you" 'Baby?!'

"You said- you- he was..." Chaeyoung had lost her words again and her breathing looked weird. Mina kept trying to get close.

"Chaeyoung, calm down, look at me, please," she insisted looking for her eyes. Chaeyoung kept saying no under her breath while shaking, "Chaeyoung," Mina insisted one last time before strongly getting a hold of Chaeyoung's head with both hands, getting closer to her face in a quick movement, kissing her. Chaeyoung calmed down immediately. It was a quick kiss, but it had worked. Nayeon had wide open, she wanted to be wrong but not this wrong. 'what the ?' "Let's go now, okay?" She whispered to Chaeyoung really close to her face, it looked so tender. Chaeyoung was not responding. Nayeon turned to Momo, this couldn't be happening. Momo had an unreadable expression on her face, it was scary, really scary. 'no, no, why'

Mina held Chaeyoung, making her stand, barely. But Chaeyoung seemed to be helping now. Nayeon made eye contact with Mina who had turned to her, with a worried expression. "I'll take her now, thank you," she said really quietly, looking away from Nayeon, she held Chaeyoung's arm to guide her, before leaving she looked at Momo too, Nayeon saw how a tear fell down Mina's cheek at that, she looked so scared but no one said anything and then they were gone.

Momo sat on her bed immediately. 'oh, god' Nayeon cleared . "That was... interesting," Nayeon tried, she was not sure what to say, she sat next to her on the bed. "Hey." She grabbed her shoulder. "Are you okay?" Momo shook her head. Nayeon kept talking. "Wasn't she like homophobic and all?"

"She's not, she is just..." Momo was lost too. "She doesn't do things she's not supposed to do."

"Then what happened just now?"

"Did you know?" Her voice was so cold. Nayeon had never seen Momo like this.

"No." Nayeon looked away, thinking about it. She did know Chaeyoung liked the girl but she never thought Mina did too, apparently. "I thought it was one-sided," she confessed.

"So you knew Chaeyoung liked her."

"Yes, but she never told me anything else." Momo didn't answer, it was getting awkward, more than before. "Momo"

"I need some air," she said last before getting up and leaving too. Nayeon sighed.

Nayeon was as confused as Momo, but not that much, it was hard to believe, yes, but then, was Chaeyoung happy because Mina had accepted her? Or was the kiss just to calm her? That could be a possibility but Mina had done it so easily and she called her baby. It was all so much to take in, if they were having something and Chaeyoung had not told her then it was not good either, it meant Mina was scared, like the way she had looked at Momo, it said it all. If this was the reason Chaeyoung's been avoiding her, it did make sense, and it explained why she couldn't say. But what made Chaeyoung drink this much? Nayeon's brain was full of new theories. "Lesbians, so dramatic," she sighed out loud since she was alone, she got up too, to lay in her own bed, reaching for her phone she dialed Jeongyeon's number who picked up immediately. "Babe, you won't believe what just happened."

 

***

 

Chaeyoung was drunk. She didn't like getting drunk, she didn't like drunk people. She did like drinking but with friends and in a moderate way, this time, she did it because she couldn't think of any other solution. Drinking usually made her feel physically useless and then sleepy, but it might work to forget everything, right? People did that.

She ignored Mina all afternoon, after she left the restaurant, she didn't even go back to their room, she just wandered around. Chaeyoung was not exactly sad, she was angry and disappointed. The past days, Mina had been so confident, they had the best days together, they had lunch with their friends and could talk like normal people, she felt so proud of her behavior and Mina herself looked so happy about her little steps, how could she threw all that away so easily? Chaeyoung understood that she had to help Mina when that guy appeared, that's why she tried to just left them even if it made her blood boiled, but Mina had insisted so she followed along but Kwan kept wanting to spend time with Mina, because hey, he was her boyfriend, how nice. Yeah, Mina denied it all the time but why did he have it so clear, it was not fair. Either way, Chaeyoung accepted lunch to keep on making things easy for Mina, it shouldn't be that complicated except for the fact that it was awkward and she felt awfully jealous, but she could handle that, she could do it for Mina. What she hadn't expected was getting to know how much of an that guy was, so she try to defend herself, she was not going to let him trash her nor Sana like that, he had no right. But she had to keep it cool for Mina, everything was for Mina, right? So when she heard Mina practically begging him not to tell her mother, Chaeyoung couldn't take it anymore. One thing was no one knowing they were together, yes, that was reasonable, but not even knowing they were roommates? That was stupid. Chaeyoung felt annoyed, Mina was not only embarrassed about being her girlfriend, but she was also embarrassed by her whole appearance, why couldn't Mina do just one thing for her? Yes, she had been improving with her friends and they held hands outside but come on, she felt so betrayed.

That's why she didn't want to keep thinking, she used all her pocket money in bottles of alcohol and showed up at Nayeon's door. She knew Nayeon was a bit annoyed at her, and that it was not the best idea, but she was half-drunk already and Nayeon could never stay that mad at her. She knew she was making a fool of herself in front of both girls, Nayeon and Momo, but she wanted to forget, it was not fair, she didn't deserve this. But then Mina magically appeared, she was not understanding why she was there, she didn't want to see the girl, on the contrary, she wanted her far away, if she was so embarrassed then she didn't have to be there. Also, she didn't like the idea of Mina seeing her drunk.

But she would be lying if she said that Mina trying to calm her down didn't feel right, Mina always felt right close to her, so she felt more embarrassed and tried to push her away, after all, why would Mina be acting this way in front of Momo and Nayeon, Chaeyoung was drunk, but she knew she couldn't say anything about them, so she respected that even in her state and when Mina appeared, she wanted to keep respecting that, she should leave, it was better, less trouble.

Then Mina kissed her. Right there in Nayeon's room. Chaeyoung was confused, they were not supposed to do that there, not outside their room, right? It made her calm down immediately, Mina had exposed herself just to stop her, she knew it must have taken a lot in her to do that, so they needed to leave, even drunk she wanted to protect her. So right now, outside in the cold night, Mina was holding her arm to support her but she felt guilty. And also, her stomach hurt, she was not an expert at drinking, not that much.

"Mina," she tried stopping them for some reason.

"Don't stop, it's cold, we are almost there." Mina was talking really softly to her, it made her feel safe but she was still a bit mad. Mina pulled from her arm and they kept walking.

"You kissed me," Chaeyoung insisted. Many words were still missing from her vocabulary somehow but she managed, she was more aware now, the kiss had brought her back.

"Let's talk inside, okay?" They kept walking, Chaeyoung tripped a few times, but Mina kept her in place. Until they reached their room and Mina guided her to bed releasing the strong grip on her arm, she turned to look for Chaeyoung's pajamas. "Do you think you can change?"

Chaeyoung was not sure but she nodded. She could see Mina was sad but also worried. Mina left for the bathroom and Chaeyoung tried to change, it was complicated, she knew she was drunk but she didn't know her motor skills could get this bad. Also, she was sure she had fallen more than once in Nayeon's room, her body felt a bit mistreated. When Mina returned, she had her shirt stuck on her head, she felt hands helping her, when she was free she made eye contact with Mina. She felt annoyed again. "Let me," she said. "I'm okay."

"You're not okay." Mina tried to caress her cheek but Chaeyoung moved away standing quickly, tripping, but she managed to stay on her feet.

"Yeah, whose fault is that?"

"I know," Mina whispered trying to get close again.

"You don't know how it feels, why- why can he go around saying that he is your boyfriend?" Chaeyoung didn't want to fight, but she needed to let all this out.

"He is not."

"I know he isn't, but why he gets to say it?"

"Chaeyoung I'm sorry."

"I want that," Chaeyoung was angry but seeing Mina, made her sad, "I want that," she repeated, she was feeling really tired, both physically and mentally.

Mina got closer to her, holding her shoulders. "I'm not ashamed of you," she looked at Chaeyoung's eyes. Chaeyoung wanted to hear that but could she trust her? "but if my mother knows, everything would be worse, I wouldn't know how to handle that."

"The girlfriend part, not- not the roommate."

"You don't know her," Mina whispered caressing Chaeyoung's cheek, who didn't back away this time. She liked feeling Mina. "It's for the best. I know I should've said more then, stand up for you and answered you sooner but I get scared every time this and the other side mix."

That made Chaeyoung remember. "You kissed me."

"I did," Mina half-smiled getting their bodies closer still holding Chaeyoung's face and shoulder. "I'm not embarrassed by you." Chaeyoung felt confused, Mina had a point, if she was embarrassed by her, then she wouldn't have kissed her there. Still, it felt a bit wrong that she had done it as last resource, but Chaeyoung was not exactly thinking much, and being close to Mina made her feel better.

"They would know now." Chaeyoung suddenly felt scared. "They- they can't we must explain, a mistake." She felt worried for Mina now, no one was supposed to know, Chaeyoung felt they could talk to them and explain that it was all a mistake, a misunderstanding. "We can't-"

"Shh..." Mina didn't let her finish, she could probably notice how upset she was getting again. Mina moved her hand on Chaeyoung's cheek down to her lips. "I don't mind, it's okay if they know, you can say I'm your girlfriend, he can't," she got closer to her face slowly and removed her hand from the lips she kissed them, Chaeyoung let her, she wanted Mina and the words she had just said, made her feel better, she had missed her lips. Mina stopped, barely getting away from her lips, "remember we talked about it, I didn't want it to be that way, but it's okay if they know, I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of you or any other thing you may believe." Chaeyoung had not moved much, now she held Mina's waist. Holding her was nice and she needed support. "What still scares me is that if Kwan knows, then my family knows," Chaeyoung saw Mina had tears but her voice was okay, still a soft whisper, "I don't want that, not yet, but not because of you, it's just still hard to understand that I-" She couldn't keep talking but Chaeyoung understood.

"Are you sure?"

Mina took a deep breath before talking again. "I do want you, Chaeyoung, no one else, not him, I want you." She hugged Chaeyoung really tight, the girl hugged her back, feeling her heart heavy. She liked Mina so much, maybe she was making everything harder for her. But Chaeyoung was not thinking that clearly, still, she felt she needed to say it.

"Mina, you don't have to," she said in the middle of their hug, Mina let go to look at her again, confused. "If it's so hard, maybe-"

"No," Mina frowned. "Stop, you're drunk, come." She moved her to the bed making her get in one side, and then Mina got next to her, looking at her face. "I don't want to hear what you were going to say, not ever, I want you, no one else, do you understand that?"

"But I'm just mak-"

"No, Chaeyoung, please, stop it." Mina grabbed both her hands. "We can talk tomorrow, when you're sober, right now, you need to know that I made a mistake and I'm sorry, but it won't happen again, and we can tell our friends, we can," Mina got closer kissing her cheek, "I can do anything by your side, I swear."

Chaeyoung was not going to argue with that, Mina's eyes were full of love, she could tell, even if she was feeling sad or scared, Chaeyoung could see that Mina always had the sweetest look for her. "I want you to be happy."

"You make me happy," Mina answered. "I want the same for you, I know I can do it, I can do it for you, I'm stronger by your side, I want to be for you everything you are for me."

Chaeyoung felt like crying but not out of sadness, Mina was making her feel so wanted, she knew what she was getting into since the first time she felt for her, she couldn't just give it all up, their relationship couldn't be that weak, she had made a mistake thinking Mina could ever let her walk away from her, that wasn't right, they needed each other. Chaeyoung needed Mina, even if it was difficult sometimes, the important part was them. And she trusted Mina with her whole heart. "Can you hold me tonight?"

"Of course, always." They found a better position in the bed like they were used to, and Mina held Chaeyoung tightly, the girl had her head on Mina's chest. "Does your stomach hurt?"

"Yes, I don't like drinking like that."

"I know."

"What happened with Kwan?"

"I don't know, it doesn't matter now." Mina kissed Chaeyoung's head. "He doesn't matter, you are all I care about."

Chaeyoung could feel Mina's heartbeat, that was always nice. Her stomach did hurt and many of her thoughts were confusing but she had Mina, so everything was okay. Still, in her drunk state, she felt like talking more, even though sentences were hard to form. She had to think about everything before saying it. "Why do you like me?"

Mina was rubbing her back slowly, it felt good. "Many reasons."

That made Chaeyoung smile but she wanted to know more. "Tell me." She felt sleepy.

"Ever since I met you, you've never treated me bad, you're patient and kind, and you make me smile all the time." Mina moved her hand to her hair. "And I love playing with your hair, do you want more?" Chaeyoung nodded so Mina kept talking. "You never judged me, even if I was being awful, you see good in everything. And I like that you get so shy when we kiss, well, you've been improving, but I like that you're shy and you do unexpected things." Chaeyoung didn't need to ask more, Mina was immersed in her speech. "I have always loved watching you paint, I like it when you're focused and the way you make my heart go so fast all the time, I really like that."

"You're heart is normal now," Chaeyoung interrupted her.

"That's 'cause I feel at ease here, but you could easily change the rhythm if you want to, it's easy, you do it all the time, only you."

"Okay is changing now."

"See? I get nervous even just talking about it." Chaeyoung felt so much better hearing Mina say all that, it was perfect. She moved a bit, laying on her stomach to be facing Mina. "What is it?" Mina asked.

"Today you tried to be outside with me," Chaeyoung took a while forming everything but Mina gave her time, "it wasn't good."

"I know that. I'm sorry."

"But we are here now," Chaeyoung tried to explain her thoughts and feelings, it was complicated when she was not sure what she wanted to express.

"I like it here." Chaeyoung was sure Mina had said that many times, but she always loved hearing it. Because it didn't matter if it mean there in their room just the two of them, it also meant there holding her.

"I'm drunk," Chaeyoung suddenly said.

"I know, baby," Mina answered and Chaeyoung giggled. "What?"

"You called me baby."

"I've called you baby before, you're my cry baby."

Chaeyoung felt smiley again, Mina was being so cute. "I'm drunk," she repeated for some reason.

"I know," Mina insisted. "You should sleep."

"I'm drunk but can I kiss you?" She managed to say what she had wanted to say the first two times.

Mina smiled. "You can always kiss me."

Chaeyoung having now permission, leaned down slowly to kiss her. "He can't do this." She suddenly remembered Kwan and felt like remembering Mina that she was her girlfriend and not some boring self-centered guy.

"He can't, no one can," Mina smiled at her, they were really close. Chaeyoung kissed her again but she was a bit messy, Mina couldn't help but giggle in the middle of it. "Let me help you," she said moving slowly to leave Chaeyoung on her back so she could control the kiss, Chaeyoung just let her, she wanted to kiss Mina but it was being complicated. She felt better in this position. Mina taking care of her. "Is that okay, do you still want to kiss me?" Mina asked, making Chaeyoung more in need of her lips. She just nodded. "Okay," Mina whispered getting close to her lips again. Before touching them she whispered again, "I only like your lips." It made Chaeyoung feel funny, then she felt Mina kissing her, slowly caressing her lips with her own. It was so warm. Somehow being intoxicated with the alcohol, made her feel everything differently. And Mina's touch felt amazing. She could feel the girl's body slightly on top of her. Chaeyoung was sure she was not responding very well to the kiss, but Mina seemed to enjoy guiding her. "Can I kiss your neck?" Mina never asked that, but Chaeyoung thought maybe it had to do with the fact that she was drunk so she answered out loud.

"Yes," she moved her hands to Mina's waist, "I like it."

Mina moved down to kiss her neck, she was being really careful, Mina was never that slow but it felt nice, Chaeyoung felt great. You could say she had forgotten all about today, and Mina kept telling her nice things. "I only want to kiss you," she said between every little kiss. "I only like you," she kept leaving kisses and moved to the other side of her neck, "only you make me feel like this."

"How?"

"Safe," Mina left kisses going up now, kissing Chaeyoung's jaw, "and warm," she reached her ear, "everywhere." Hearing her voice so close to her ear and her hot breath, made Chaeyoung's head spin more than before and all her body tingled, she was enjoying this too much, Mina just speaking her mind while making her feel all hot and bothered. She held Mina's waist more and brought their bodies closer. Mina got back to her lips, she was still kissing her really slow, but deeper. Her heart was going faster. Mina was so focused on kissing her, gently on her lips, and even biting her lower lip carefully, unlike other times. Chaeyoung liked both ways but this one felt different.

"I- I like when you do that."

"I like you," Mina answered leaving . "Chaeyoung," ahe called for her, but Chaeyoung had her eyes closed just feeling everything, Mina kissed her forehead. "Look at me."

"Mhh." Chaeyoung opened her eyes slowly to find Mina's eyes looking directly at her with a sort of something Chaeyoung could not quite describe.

"Can I leave a mark on your neck?"

Chaeyoung was not expecting that, last time Mina did it as a mistake and she almost loses it. "Why?"

"Because," Mina explained. "I want everyone to see it and you can tell them it was me."  As Mina said that, Chaeyoung realized what she had seen her eyes, territorial Mina. There was no other way to describe it, Chaeyoung felt so by her, she was sure in normal circumstances she would've denied, even if Mina was asking, she didn't fancy having a visible mark for everyone to know, not even if she could say Mina had done it, but right now in her state, she wanted it.

"Okay," she simply said closing her eyes again and Mina moved down to her neck one more time, she didn't leave kisses, Chaeyoung only felt her lips there and her hot breath.

"Your skin is just so soft," Mina talked there moving one hand under Chaeyoung's pajama shirt, making her move her body upwards involuntary, she just reacted to her touch, it was amazing. Then Mina did start kissing her neck stopping at a certain spot she lingered there still slowly but strongly enough to leave a mark. Chaeyoung liked the sensation, she liked Mina so much and Mina only liked her, that was clear in her blurry mind now. "There," Mina spoke again moving back to her face, cuddling her from the side. She moved down her hand slowly off Chaeyoung's side to bring it up to her face and trace every feature. Chaeyoung didn't open her eyes, you could say her body was awake because of Mina but she felt sleepy. "Are you going to sleep?" Chaeyoung moved one hand up too, taking Mina's hand that was lazily moving from her forehead to her nose. She wanted to say so many things but she was not sure how. She moved the hand down to her lips and left a kiss, slowly turning her body to the side to face Mina. "Sleep," Mina insisted. "I'll be here."

Chaeyoung believed her, of course Mina was going to be there, ever since their first kiss, they had always woken up together. Mina got closer to her, hugging her, Chaeyoung hid her face in Mina's embrace, she did want to be held tonight. No one say anything else, Mina just caressed her back and hair until she fell asleep. It didn't take much time, she was really tired and sleepy but what she thought while falling asleep was that they were together and that they could tell their friends, Mina was willing to do that, she could stop lying, making up excuses and avoiding them, it sounded amazing. 'I can say I'm her girlfriend now, I am, not him, he can't, he is not here, I'm here' Chaeyoung was the one that got to know the real Mina, Chaeyoung was the one to receive all her smiles and kisses, Chaeyoung was there, not him.