The past few days, Mina had been living in a dream. Everything was nice and pretty, she got worried from time to time but Chaeyoung was always there to make it better. In her room everything was the same, her routine, their activities, it was all the same, the only difference is that she got to do all that while also not being afraid of the way her heart felt around her roommate and she never would have guessed, but being physically affectionate with Chaeyoung was one of her favorite things to do. If she had to number her favorite activities it would go like, in third place annoying Chaeyoung, in second place kissing Chaeyoung and the first place a combination of both. 

But today, she woke up with her stomach weird, she was nervous. Today was Momo's birthday and it would be the first time she was going to be outside her room in the same place as Chaeyoung. They had been avoiding meeting outside, even if their friends usually lunched together, they had managed, but today was different. Mina was not feeling so good. That's why she got out of bed immediately instead of making her usual tantrum to Chaeyoung asking her not to go. 

She went to the bathroom, washed her face, breathed for a while, and then she got out to pace around the room just trying to calm her thoughts, she even opened the glass window to feel the cold air at the little balcony, it was not working, her mind wouldn't stop overthinking, it's not like their friends were going to see anything different in them, right? But she was not thinking clearly. She turned to look at Chaeyoung, she envied the way she was sleeping so peacefully, maybe that's what she needed, to wake her up. When she was kissing Chaeyoung, her mind was just full of her and nothing else, maybe if she woke her up she could get distracted with that, it could work, it most certainly would work, just to calm down now. But no, that wasn't fair to Chaeyoung, besides, she looked so cute sleeping like that. And Mina didn't want to encourage the belief in Chaeyoung's head that she was too needy, yes, she was, but she needed to control that.  It was not healthy to get rid of every bad thought with that method, even though it had worked until now, she knew it was only avoiding the main issue. 

She told Momo and Sana that she was going to explain to them what had been happening with her, but in the end, she never did and they never asked and everything got back to normal as if nothing had happened. She was happy about that, she didn't feel like explaining, she just couldn't. She knew her friends and Chaeyoung's friends were not going to say anything mean to her, they weren't going to judge her or anything, well, maybe Chaeyoung's friends would not like her much for the girl but not because of the type of relationship but just because she had been so bad to her. The thing is that if they knew, then maybe someone else might know and what if everyone knew and her Mom knew and Kwan knew, no, that was just not a possibility. This was not working, she was not getting any better, it was being worse. ' this' 

She closed the window and got back to bed, cuddling Chaeyoung from behind. 'much better' She kissed her cheek a few times. "Wake up," she whispered in her ear. Chaeyoung groaned, being woken up was not something she enjoyed not even if it was with kisses. 

"Why?" 

"I need you."

Chaeyoung moved from Mina's hold, and lazily extender her arms turning to face her, with her eyes still closed. "What is it?" She asked in her new position still sleepy. 

"I can't stop thinking about today," Mina said just looking at sleepy Chaeyoung. 

"What's with today?"

"Momo's birthday." 

"Mhh, didn't you buy a gift already?" Chaeyoung was not perceiving the worried tone in Mina's voice. 

"I'm scared," Mina whispered. "Everyone will be there, us." At that Chaeyoung finally opened her eyes to look at her. 

"Ah, that," she said as if she had no intention of worrying about that. "Nothing would happen, Mina, you don't need to panic." 

"But what if I messed up or if you messed up or if they ask something, what if they ask something?" 

Chaeyoung sighed. "What could they ask?" 

Mina thought for a moment, she was not sure what they could ask, in her mind everything was going to go wrong. "I don't know." 

"See? it's okay" Chaeyoung moved a hand to hold Mina's. "Don't stress about it." 

But Mina was very much stressed about it, Chaeyoung didn't get it. No one got it. So she did the next best thing, that she could think of, and tried to kiss her, but Chaeyoung moved. "No," she complained. 

"Why," Mina pouted. 

"I just woke up."

"So what?"

"I haven't brushed my teeth."

"I don't mind."

"But I do,"  Chaeyoung frowned.

Mina sighed. "Okay then go do that, I really want to kiss you." She sounded desperate it was not cute, so she tried to smile at her. Chaeyoung groaned again but got up for the bathroom. 'you're awful, Mina'  When she returned, the girl was still frowning. "Don't frown, come here," Mina stated patting next to her. 

"There really is nothing to worry about today," Chaeyoung said getting next to her, looking at the ceiling. "You can totally ignore me, no one would care." Mina had an answer to that and every other reason Chaeyoung could give, but she was not going to talk about that, there was no point. She used one arm for support and put her body slightly on top of Chaeyoung, kissing her cheek again. 

"Okay," she said, not feeling any better. She kept kissing Chaeyoung's face until the girl smiled. 'that's better' There was something about making Chaeyoung feel all shy and aroused that made her feel better like she had control over at least one thing. She needed to feel that again so she took hold of Chaeyoung's hip with her free hand and kissed her lips. Chaeyoung kissed her back, putting her hands on Mina's back. It was working, kissing her was the best distraction but she was still worried, she needed more so she kissed her without care, roughly. Mina had no idea from where she had obtained all this confidence when it came to this, but maybe it had to do with the fact that Chaeyoung was so shy around her and that she completely trusted her so she was not afraid of trying, not with this. If she couldn't be brave enough to be with her outside their room, she felt she needed to prove her affection here and physical touch was being her favorite method. She knew Chaeyoung liked her, and that Chaeyoung knew she liked her too, but since she couldn't show it outside their room, she felt she needed to let her know like this and whenever Chaeyoung responded to her touch, she felt she believed her. It was reassuring. In the middle of their kiss she bit Chaeyoung's lower lip, at that, the girl let out a little whimper, making Mina's whole body react, she wanted more of that, her mind was no longer worried about that other stuff, it had worked. So she held on tighter to her hip and moved down, kissing her jaw to reach her neck, where she left sloppy kisses. She could hear Chaeyoung's fast breathing, she liked that so much she started on the skin hoping for more responses from her, Chaeyoung did react, leaving out a gasp, Mina was loving it.

"Mina," Chaeyoung spoke with difficulty. "Be careful." Mina was so focused enjoying the way Chaeyoung was talking that she didn't pay attention to the meaning of that, she just kept different spots of Chaeyoung's neck, moving her hand that was on her hip upwards to feel Chaeyoung's hot skin under her pajama shirt. She felt how Chaeyoung's body moved at the contact, it was intoxicating, her mind was only thinking of her, it had worked.  She could feel Chaeyoung's respiration faster so she also started to move her hand on Chaeyoung's side up and down. After a while she heard her again "Mina" Chaeyoung repeated but hearing her name like that only encourage her more. "Slow down." She felt Chaeyoung's hands slightly pushing her head away. She backed away, looking at her, she had her face pink, it was beautiful. 

"Why?" Mina finally said, moving back to Chaeyoung's face, kissing her pink cheeks. "Don't you like it?" 

"I do," Chaeyoung explained, caressing her back. 

"Then why?" Mina was not thinking much, she wanted to kiss her again, her heart was too fast, she didn't want to stop.

"I like it too much." Mina was not seeing the problem in that, if she liked it then it was okay, so she tried to kiss her again but Chaeyoung was not responding. "Mina." Chaeyoung put her hands on Mina's shoulders stopping her. "Look at me." Mina looked at her eyes for the first time since she had started kissing her. "Calm down."

Chaeyoung was right, she needed to calm down, she was being reckless. She moved away from Chaeyoung, hiding her face with the blankets, she was embarrassed. 

"Hey," she heard Chaeyoung calling for her. "What is it?" She moved the blankets down, looking for her face, which she covered with her hands now. "Mina." Chaeyoung took her hands too. 

Mina couldn't explain what had happened, it was stupid. But she opened her eyes either way to look at her, but it didn't get better. "Chaeyoung," Mina panicked sitting on the bed. "God, I'm so stupid." 

"What are you saying?" Chaeyoung couldn't see but Mina could see, she moved closer tracing her fingers in Chaeyoung's neck, it had little red marks, that she had done just now. 

"I ed up." Mina was not thinking. "It's over."

"Mina," Chaeyoung sat on the bed to hold her, "explain." 

She liked that Chaeyoung was holding her because she was losing it, it was all wrong, she couldn't go out today, it was over. "Your neck," Mina explained. "It's all red, it's my fault I-" She didn't get to finish because Chaeyoung laughed. "Why are you laughing? Don't you understand?" Mina was finding breathing hard. "It's over." 

But Chaeyoung kept laughing quietly holding her tightly. "Mina," she said holding her face. "Hey, look at me." Mina obeyed. "That's nothing," Chaeyoung smiled. "No one would know it was you, and no one needs to see it, I can wear a turtleneck, or a scarf, or both, I can even use makeup." Chaeyoung caressed her cheek tenderly. "You didn't do anything wrong, okay? And nothing bad will happen today, breath." Mina breathed, she felt so dumb. "It would probably be gone by then." 

She hid her face in Chaeyoung's neck, holding her tightly "I'm sorry." 

"Don't apologize." 

"I'm sorry," she repeated, she wanted to cry, nothing she ever did make sense. Chaeyoung took her hand. 

"Talk to me," Chaeyoung whispered in her ear. Mina backed away from her neck to look at her. Chaeyoung's eyes were so full of love, she trusted her so much, no one was that patient with her. 'I don't deserve her' Mina intertwined their hands that Chaeyoung had taken. 

"I'm just so scared," Mina tried to explain again. "It's not fair to you." 

"Mina, you make me so happy you have no idea." Chaeyoung's word made her feel more like crying. "You are all I want," she said putting her forehead against Mina's. "If it really worries you that much, I can stay here today." 

"No," Mina spoke quietly too already more calmed. "That wouldn't be right either, besides, I do want you to get along with Momo, if you don't go she won't stop talking about it," she smiled weakly. 

"Alright." Chaeyoung moved to kiss her forehead. "Don't stress now." 

Mina laughed a bit. "Too late." She moved back to lay on the bed, pulling Chaeyoung with her so she could support her head on her chest, Chaeyoung was tiny but she loved resting her head there. They stayed like that for a while, Chaeyoung had one arm surrounding her that was brushing her hair. Mina was just hugging her, this worked too, just talking with her and being held, no need to get all physical to get rid of her thoughts, that had not been her smartest decision, she felt dumb, Chaeyoung didn't know that was her reason, but still. She moved up to look at the girl's neck. 'real smart, Mina' She moved one hand to touch the little hickeys. She felt stupid but the truth is that she liked seeing them there, and remembering how Chaeyoung had reacted made her smile. Most of her kisses with Chaeyoung had been really cute and slow, they both liked that. Some days ago Chaeyoung had been bold enough to go further in terms of intensity, she really liked that too, but after that their kisses went back to cute and slow, until today. It was all so new to her, but apparently, it was new for Chaeyoung too. "Sorry I got too carried away."

"It's not like I put that much effort stopping you, don't worry." 

Mina moved up to look at Chaeyoung "Is it okay?"

"What is?"

"When we kiss like that." 

Chaeyoung smiled. "If I want it and you want it, then it's okay. And I did want it." Mina felt relieved, for some reason she wanted to hear that she was okay with what had happened, even though her body had said yes, it was not all that mattered. She moved back to her chest, feeling it rise and fall with her steady breathing, she liked it there so much. "Mina." Chaeyoung stopped caressing her hair. 

"Mhh..." 

"Have you..." Chaeyoung doubted. "Have you ever been with a man?" Mina was not sure if she meant ually or romantically but the answer was negative either way, she was not counting all the setup dates she's been to.

"No."

"What about Kwan?" Mina could feel the difference in the way she said the name.

"I haven't even kissed him," she explained. 

"Then why is he around?"

"It's complicated." 

"Mhh." Mina moved again to face Chaeyoung. 

"I like you," she emphasized, "not him." Chaeyoung thought for a while, then she moved her arm away from Mina's head and turned to get her face in front of Mina. She smiled, Mina's heart skipped a beat. 

"Say it again." 

"I like you." When she said it, Chaeyoung gave her a little kiss near her lips. 

"Say it again." 'okay, clown' Mina was smiling, Chaeyoung was too cute, so she obeyed. 

"I like you." Chaeyoung's smile grew wider, leaving another kiss.  

"Say it again." Mina rolled her eyes, but she was getting kisses so she repeated it.

"I really really like you." Maybe putting in an effort would get her a different reward. 

"I like you too," Chaeyoung whispered, looking at her eyes. "You are enough, you are more than enough to me." Mina felt like crying again, but of happiness, she definitely didn't deserve her. After saying that she kissed her on the lips, softly and tenderly like their first kiss. Mina found it strangely amazing that this kind of kiss made her feel a thousand times more nervous than when she was previously kissing her out of control. This kind of kiss warmed her heart.

"I love your lips," Mina said brushing her lips with Chaeyoung's with every word once the girl had moved back a bit. 

"Do you?" Chaeyoung asked doing the same thing, Mina knew this was kind of a cute moment, right? But Chaeyoung saying that while brushing her lips was giving her mixed signals.

"I really do." With every word that brushed her lips, her heart went faster. Chaeyoung didn't answer, instead, she started playing with Mina's lips, on them gently and slowly, it was driving Mina crazy, it was so much different than before but as much as nice, even better. She didn't even do anything, she just had her eyes closed while feeling her, it was all Chaeyoung. 

"Do you like that?" Chaeyoung whispered without getting away from the space of her lips. 

Mina couldn't speak, she was malfunctioning, it was so incredible that there were always new feelings with Chaeyoung, this was something so different from her previous make-out sessions, it felt so much more intimate and she wasn't even doing anything. She nodded. 

"Say it," Chaeyoung whispered again not happy with Mina's answer. Mina was breathing faster, her hands were sweaty, she was sure, her face must be so red too, she was so nervous. 

"I like it." She didn't open her eyes, she only kept feeling Chaeyoung's soft lips on hers. 

"What are you thinking?" Why would Chaeyoung ask that she had no idea, but it made her feel so good, she just answered without hesitating. 

"About you." 

"What about me?" 

"You make me nervous." 

"Are you nervous right now?" Chaeyoung moved one of her hands to Mina's chest. "Your heart is going fast." 

Their lips didn't stop touching once. "It's your fault." Chaeyoung was going to answer but someone knocked on their door. 

"," Chaeyoung said letting her body weight fall on Mina. 

Mina moved her hands to Chaeyoung's hair. "Let's not open." 

"What if is important?" 

"Then they'll call." Some more knocks were heard and then silence. Until Mina's phone started ringing loud echoing through the room, Mina panicked, Chaeyoung started laughing.

"Why do you have it with sound?" She whispered loudly still laughing. 

"I don't know!" Mina complained. "Make it stop." 

Chaeyoung moved to reach for it, not moving out completely from Mina's body, then she got back to her previous position putting the thing in silence. "It's Sana." 

"Mhh," Mina groaned. "I'll ignore it, I'll see her later." 

"Why?" Chaeyoung . "Were you doing something important?" 

"Very much important," Mina answered seriously. Then they both started laughing and giggling, forgetting about the door and the call. No one was going to mess with their bubble. They kept kissing softly and talking about everything or nothing at all until it was time to eat, they ordered something but not much since they were having dinner later with Momo. They spent the whole day in bed. Mina's worries were completely gone until the sun started setting and it was time to get ready. 

"We should get ready now," Chaeyoung spoke from her side of the bed, she was scrolling through her phone, Mina was at her own side with Chaeyoung's Switch. 

"I know," Mina said fast, she was too concentrated. "Just give me a sec." Chaeyoung turned to look at her. 

"You look so focused," she laughed at her. "Are you winning?"

"Of course I am," Mina answered almost offended. "Go get changed." Chaeyoung laughed and got up. Mina finished her game and put the device aside. She left a big breath out, it was time to face her fears. After a while, both of them were ready to go. 

"Do you want me to get there after you?" Chaeyoung suggested. Mina thought for a moment. 

"No," she finally replied. "It's okay if we get there together, we do live together." 

"Very clever of you to notice that," Chaeyoung smiled at her. "Let's go." She turned to leave. 

"Wait." Mina grabbed her hand. "Kiss me." 

Chaeyoung laughed. "You are so needy." But she obeyed, getting closer to Mina and surrounding her neck with her arms she reached for her lips, kissing her just for a few seconds. "Done. Let's go we'll be late." 

Mina smiled and before Chaeyoung turned back, she fixed the collar of her turtleneck. "Be careful with that." Chaeyoung just nodded. 'cute' She really liked Chaeyoung, how the hell was she going to avoid looking at her with a silly smile or staring without drooling. 'you got this, Mina' She took a deep breath and started walking next to Chaeyoung. 

On their way there they didn't talk, Mina grew nervous by the second, she wondered if Chaeyoung was at least a bit worried.  They went to the Bar and Grill place looking for their friends, only Sana and Tzuyu were there, sitting next to each other at a big table. Mina was not planning on sitting next to Chaeyoung but it would be weird if they got there together and sat far away, right? So she guessed it was okay. Greeting both of them she sat in front of Sana and Chaeyoung in front of Tzuyu. 

"Did you just get here?" Chaeyoung asked them. 

"Momo sent me earlier to get a proper space for everyone," Sana answered. "Tzuyu helped." 

"Will Dahyun come?" Chaeyoung asked Tzuyu. Mina was just hearing everything, trying to act normal.

"Yeah, she's with the other girls," Tzuyu explained. "How are you?" 

"I'm okay," Chaeyoung smiled at her friend. 

"I haven't seen you much," Tzuyu kept talking. Mina was not liking the conversation, but she trusted Chaeyoung so she tried to relax. 

"Been busy with assignments," Chaeyoung explained. "I'll make it up to you guys, we can hang out soon." Mina felt terrible, if she weren't afraid of saying the truth, Chaeyoung wouldn't have to lie and it wouldn't be necessary to skip lunch with her own friends just to help her.'coward'  Mina could feel Sana looking at her, it made her uncomfortable, did she hear her at the room? Did she know anything else? She shouldn't have ignored her. After a few minutes everyone arrived, Jihyo and Dahyun sat next to Chaeyoung and Nayeon with Jeongyeon sat next to Tzuyu on the other side. She got up to give Momo a big hug. 

"Happy birthday, Momoring." Mina felt better hugging her. "I love you." Momo hugged her too. 

"Thank you," she answered. "I hope you bought me something," Momo joked. 

"Of course I did," she argued releasing Momo, who sat at one extreme of the table with her and Sana by her side. "I'll give it to you later" 

Everyone looked happy, mostly Momo, she was not feeling so worried now. They ordered a lot of meat and different side dishes and drinks. She heard Chaeyoung chatting with Dahyun, everything was going fine. 

"Would you make a speech?" Mina turned to talk to Momo. Sana was paying attention too. 

"Maybe," she smiled. "Later when I get drunk, 'cause it's my birthday, I'm getting drunk." 

"Would you be kissing people this time too?" Sana joked. 

"Shut it," Momo frowned. Mina smiled, it was fun, they were their friends she shouldn't have been so scared, she knows how to behave around them.  "I'm just happy we are all here." 

The food came, and the grills were all full of meat, it was perfect for Momo. She turned a bit to look at Chaeyoung, just a bit, the girl had not talked to her at all, she was grateful but at the same time it made her heart feel heavy, she wanted to share with her too. So after a while when everyone was chatting and eating, she took some meat and put it on her plate, Chaeyoung turned to look at her smiling. "Thanks," she simply said. 

'Well done, Mina' She was proud of herself. It's not like giving her food meant anything, or that anyone would notice, but when she looked up she saw Tzuyu staring, she panicked again. But then Tzuyu smiled quickly at her and that was it. She left out a big breath. 'stupid'. They were all having a great time, Jihyo was telling this story about one of her teachers from high school, Mina liked her energy. Then Sana talked. 

"So," she began drinking from her glass. "My roommate is straight, right? Poor thing, whatever," she was talking fast, "the thing is she has a friend that's not who's looking to date a cute girl and she asked me, but I can't," she explained turning to look at Tzuyu who smiled at her but turned away quickly. "So I told her I could probably set her with someone, does anyone offer?" Sana asked as if it was the most natural thing, Mina was not bothered but she didn't like the topic much. 

"That's too vague, tell me more about her," Jihyo said. "I do have someone in mind."

"Well I don't know her, but my roommate is amazing, I trust her, and she said her friend is the sweetest girl ever."

"But you're the sweetest girl ever," Momo argued. 

"Aw, I know right?" Sana smiled at Momo. "But yeah, and she showed me a picture, she is really beautiful." But then she turned to Tzuyu. "Not as much as you, obviously." 

"Get a room," Dahyun scoffed, Mina didn't say anything but she agreed. 

"You're just jealous," Tzuyu snapped back at her. 

"Hey," Nayeon interrupted. "Not here." It was pretty funny how Nayeon was always ending their fights, Chaeyoung had told her all about them. She also remembered when she was introduced to them and she had to stop Tzuyu from insulting her, good times. She could feel Chaeyoung laughing at them. 'cute' 

"You should give her Chaeyoung's number," Jihyo suddenly said. "She's the cutest." 'she totally is' Mina agreed 'wait, what, no, Jihyo I really liked you' Mina moved uncomfortably in her seat, that was not a great idea. 

"I don't think that's the best idea," Jeongyeon gave her opinion. 'yeah, someone smart, thank you' 

"Why not?" Dahyun talked too. "Chaeyoung is a good catch, she can draw you things and do nerd stuff." 

"I'm not a nerd," Chaeyoung spoke to defend herself, Mina was wondering why she wasn't denying the important part. 

"I love Chaeyoungie," Jihyo talked again, "I really want to see her happy, dating someone would be the perfect thing." Mina was getting annoyed everyone was talking about how good Chaeyoung was but she was not denying the setup, she gets Chaeyoung has no reason to deny in front of her friends but what about her, she's right there. 

"Well, what do you think Chaeyoung?" Sana asked her. Mina saw how Chaeyoung was looking troubled. 

"Uh, it's nice that you think of me, Jihyo," she began. 'what? nice? is she going to say yes? I'm not letting that happen' Mina was jealous, she felt mad at Chaeyoung for no reason, but still, she moved her hand under the table to grab Chaeyoung's thigh, she felt how Chaeyoung got surprised. 'you're not dating anyone, no one but me' "Uh, it's just I'm not in the mood for dating." 'yeah, that's better' 

"Why not?" Nayeon argued giving Chaeyoung a big smile. Mina saw how Jeongyeon whispered something to Nayeon but she ignored it. "I'm sure it'll do you good, meeting new people." 

"Nayeon," Chaeyoung complained. "I'm okay." 

"And single," Dahyun added. 

"What? You're single too." Chaeyoung turned to her. "You go." 

"I have good company," Dahyun said. "You are all alone, I think Nayeon's right, it might do you good, you've been down." Mina was mad, she wanted to scream, she wanted to leave, she wanted to turn and kiss Chaeyoung right there and shut everyone up, it was so annoying, but she just couldn't. Why was it always Sana? Mina was blaming her for no reason but she wanted to scream at her too. 

"I don't thin-" Chaeyoung was going to respond but Momo talked. 

"Oh, just let Sana give her your number," she was a bit drunk already, "it's not a big deal." 'Thank you, Momo, but it is a big deal'  Mina was mad at her too now. 

"Okay," Chaeyoung said. 'what?! Okay?!' She left Chaeyoung's thigh, she was not believing this. 

"Great," Sana clapped. "I'm a real matchmaker, I bet it works." Mina was not understanding, why would she accept, she felt so bad, why was it always Sana. Chaeyoung hadn't even turned to look at her. Mina got up real quick and left for the restroom, she couldn't be there any more. For someone who was so worried about people finding her behavior weird, she was not making much sense, leaving like that was not the best decision, but she was just so mad. She didn't even look back, once out of there, she could feel her breathing was fast, she supported her hands in one of the sinks and looked at the mirror. 'it's all your fault, you're the coward' She was mad at Chaeyoung but she also wanted to cry so bad. Then someone got inside too. 

"Minari." It was Sana. 'great'  She didn't answer. "Mina, are you okay?"

"Like it matters."

"It does." Sana got closer to her. "That's why I came." 

"It's always you, isn't it?" Mina was going to regret this. "Why can you just mind your own business?!" 

"Mina." Sana left her sweet voice. "What are you talking about?" 

"It's always you," Mina repeated. "You make everything difficult, you like Chaeyoung, you don't like Chaeyoung, you like Chaeyoung's friend, you ask about the breakup, you set her with someone, why are you always bothering her!?" 

"Mina," Sana said really serious now, "I have done nothing but be nice to you," she was looking directly at her eyes, "if you have a problem with yourself, you shouldn't take it out on me, you think I don't see what's going on? Momo may not know, and I may not know what you did to Chaeyoung at the party and I didn't question you more about the text you sent me but you don't get to scream at me when I've done nothing but be patient with you." Mina was feeling nauseous with every word. "You were always saying mean things about me, I didn't care, but since Chaeyoung appeared you got all weird and for no reason and yeah, you stopped the mean comments, but you've been doing the most random scenes and I've never questioned you once, because I'm a good friend and I know something must be going on with you, and you know what? I did hear you in your room too, I just need to connect everything." Mina was not looking away, it was all too much. "You don't get to treat me like this." 

"Why-" Mina wanted to speak but it was not working. "You-" Breathing was so difficult, the room was hot. 

"Mina," Sana got back her sweet tone, holding Mina, "I'm sorry, breateh." She patted her back, Mina wanted Sana away from her but she couldn't move. "It's okay, you're okay, I just want you to talk to me, without blaming me." Mina's head was spinning. Sana knows, she had ed up, it was all over 'Sana knows' She sat on the floor, crying. Sana moved to lock the door and got back to her. "Mina, it's okay." 

"It's not," Mina whined. Sana hugged her, she didn't want Sana, she wanted Chaeyoung, but then Chaeyoung had accepted that stupid date she felt more like crying. 

"Talk to me." Sana tried to look for her eyes. 

"I can't." Mina was still crying. 

"Yes you can, I won't say anything bad." 

"I can't." 

"Do you want me to give Chaeyoung's number?"

"No." 

"Why?" She couldn't answer that, even though she knew Sana knew, it was stupid, but the words wouldn't leave . 

"It's all wrong," she cried. "I'm so wrong." 

"Mina, there's nothing wrong with you." 

"You're wrong, I'm wrong, she's wrong, how can no one see it?" Mina was speaking nonsense, what she felt for Chaeyoung was not wrong, she knew that, but right now it felt like it. 

"Do you like her?" Mina was not answering that, she couldn't say that she was being ridiculous, she needed to calm down so she tried to stop crying, after a couple of minutes she started breathing better. It was Momo's birthday she needed to go back.

"No one can know," she began slowly. "No one can know, you can't tell anyone." 

"Of course I won't tell anyone." 

"I need to go back, to Momo." 

"I know." Sana got up extending her hand. "Come on, wash your face." Mina obeyed. "We can talk about it later." Mina didn't answer she just fixed her face and took a deep breath before going back to the table. She ignored Chaeyoung's gaze, someone tried to ask what had happened but Sana talked first, diverting the topic. For the rest of the dinner, she ignored Chaeyoung more than she was supposed to and when it was time to leave, she had to take Momo to her room with Sana because Nayeon was not sleeping there today. Everyone said goodbye but she didn't even look at Chaeyoung. It felt wrong.

"Okay, let's go now, Momoring." Sana tried to get Momo away from one bench that she had decided was a nice place to rest on their way to her room.  Mina was not being of much help.

"Mina," Momo called. "Mina, would you give me my gift?" Momo obeyed Sana and took support in Mina. 

"Tomorrow, yes."

"But you said later," Momo complained

"I know, but it's in my room," Mina explained still holding drunk Momo. "I'm going to your room now."

"Let's go to your room then." Mina sighed, she was previously going to get the thing from there but now she was not in the mood to go. Sana knew.

"Momo." Sana moved her away from Mina. "We will both give you something tomorrow, okay?" Momo didn't answer she just kept walking until they got to her room. 

"Welcome," Momo kept talking nonsense. "This is my room, is not that organized but it's lovely, that's Nayeon's bed and this is my bed," she said jumping to her bed resting on her stomach. 

"We know," Sana answered laughing "Thank you." 

"Do you want anything to drink? I do have drinks here." 

"No, I think you've had enough, we're fine," Mina said sitting next to Momo. "Did you have a great time today?" 

"Yes," Momo smiled with her face on her pillow. "Because you were there." Mina smiled, she liked drunk Momo. 

"Happy birthday." 

"Thank you." 

"You will receive my gift, okay?" 

"I know," she said closing her eyes. "I love your gifts" 

"Are you going to sleep now?" Sana asked Momo.

"Mhh," Momo answered. "You guys can sleep next to me, or you can use Nayeon's bed but you should ask her, but she's cool, I trust her." 

"She didn't even drink that much," Sana spoke again once Momo had fallen asleep. "It just got to her quickly." Mina felt nervous, she knew now was time for Sana to question her. "I know where she keeps the drinks, do you want something?" 

Mina thought for a moment, maybe it could help so she sighed and nodded her head to Sana, who got up and looked for the bottles. She turned off the lights and gave one bottle to Mina that was now on the floor next to Momo's bed, Sana sat next to her. They drank in silence, except for Momo's soft snoring. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sana began slowly.

Mina didn't but she knew she had to, Sana knew, there was nothing to do about that now, it was a start, she needed to be brave. 'I'm not brave' She wanted Chaeyoung. She sighed. "What do you know?" 

"I know that you sent me a text with a lie, I know she avoided you because you did something bad, I know she left that day because of Kwan, and today I knew that you were in your room, giggling and that you got jealous of her answer at the table," Sana said all really clear, Mina was impressed. She had already cried about it, she was not going to panic now. "And... I do know she likes you." 

"How?" Mina found that part intriguing. 

"Everyone knows, Mina," Sana said like it was super obvious. "And also Tzuyu talks a lot about her, and I talk a lot with Tzuyu." Mina didn't say anything. "Did she tell you?" 

"Something like that." 

"Do you like her?" This again, she couldn't say no now, it wouldn't make sense.  

"So much," she whispered after a while looking at the bottle in her hand, the only light in the room came from the window and the moonlight. "So much it's embarrassing." 

"Are you scared?"

"I'm terrified," Mina explained. "But not when I'm with her..." she smiled a bit. "I'm just useless, that's why we've been avoiding seeing each other at lunch with you guys, today was the first time we would be in the same place outside our room." Mina was feeling better explaining Sana now. "It didn't go so well, I'm the worst." 

Sana put a hand on her back. "I don't think so." 

"But I am," Mina insisted. "She's been lying to everyone just because of my stupid fear, it's not fair." 

"I can take care of Momo, why don't you go back to your room?"

"Because," Mina remembered. "Why would she accept that date you offered, thanks by the way." Sana laughed. "Why are you laughing now, it's not funny." 

"Mina, from what you've told me, she only said yes to make everything easier on you, I don't think she actually intended to go." 'oh' Mina felt stupid once again, Sana was right. 

"Really?"

"Yes," Sana chuckled. "Besides, It's not like I'll give her number now."

"You better not." Mina turned to look at Sana with a frown, Sana was smiling. 

"You have to go now." 

"Okay," Mina said slowly, she felt ashamed but she needed to apologize and she also missed Chaeyoung. She got up and Sana walked her to the door, outside, she hugged her. 

"There really is nothing wrong with you, Mina." Mina was not expecting a hug or her words, but she didn't know how much she needed to hear that until Sana said it, she wanted to cry again. She hugged her back. 

"Thank you," Mina managed to say. "I'm so sorry for everything tha-"

"No," Sana shushed her. "Forget that, just know that you are perfect, no matter what." Mina felt a lump in she just nodded in Sana's shoulder and then she let go, heading back to her room. 

It was cold outside but the thought of getting to Chaeyoung kept her walking fast, she couldn't stop thinking about how stupid she had been, she was always making the worst decisions. 'you really don't deserve her, Mina' Chaeyoung was the best that had ever happened to her, and she couldn't even do one good thing for her. When she got to her dorm, she started feeling anxious, she wanted to hold her so badly. When she opened the door and got inside, Chaeyoung hugged her immediately. 

"You're here," she said in her neck. "I thought you were mad, I thought you weren't coming back I thought-" Mina pushed her away and kissed her, making her stop talking. Chaeyoung didn't react at first, but then she hold her tightly surrounding her neck. Mina pushed Chaeyoung making her fall on the bed. Chaeyoung let go of her neck. "Mina, I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha-" But Mina kissed her again on top of her. 

"Don't," she said looking at her eyes. "I was stupid, I know you did it for me." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes," Mina gave her another quick kiss on the lips. She supported her head on Chaeyoung's chest. She wanted to cry. Chaeyoung was caressing her back. They stayed like that for a long time Mina felt tears on her face but she didn't mind now. Chaeyoung hadn't realized. She was feeling so stupid, she didn't deserve Chaeyoung, that's what she kept thinking, the girl was too nice for her. But she kept holding her, and then she spoke again, "Sana knows," she whispered through her tears. 

Chaeyoung didn't say anything, she just kept caressing her back. Mina held her tightly, she kept crying all night until she fell asleep. 'I don't deserve her'