Lisa's POV

It hurts me seeing Jennie walking away from me, crying and hurting. I want to run and follow her but I cannot move my feet from where I am now. 

I hate myself because I hurt her and I cannot do anything to ease the pain coz I am the one causing that to her. 

I gripped on my hair out of frustration and I shouted all my frustration on top of my lungs. 

Everything is falling apart and it is all because of me. And now, even my best friend left me. 

"MOM! PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU! IT HURTS! IT HURTS SO MUCH AND I HATE IT!" 

I'm down on my knees while letting my tears to flow down my cheeks non stop. 

What did I do to make this happen to me? I asked myself. 

After tearing up on that rooftop, I found myself in front of our house again. Unlike earlier, our house is now silent. The people were gone and the party has ended. 

I stepped inside the house and I started climbing the stairs when I saw that the library was open. 

I tried to peek my head by the door to check if there's someone inside but there's none so I walked in. 

Being inside this library gives me chill. My eyes scanned the place and noticed that nothing has changed. It is the same library we have before. Our family picture is still hanging on the wall. I stared at the picture for a moment smiling weakly after seeing how happy we look in that picture. A tear escaped my eyes again and turn my gaze away from the photo. I walked closer to the desk in the middle and there I found my mom's favorite blanket sitting on the rocking chair where she loves to sit and read me stories before we sleep. I took the blanket and sat down on the chair and I leaned on it and closed my eyes hugging the blanket in my arms. I can no longer contain my emotion as I burst out into crying imagining my mom beside me, comforting me. 

I missed you Mom! I missed you so much! 

I spent the whole night crying until I fell asleep. 

"Lisa... Lisa" 

I opened my eyes when I felt a hand tapping my shoulder then I saw my father leaning down looking at me straight in my eyes. 

"Why did you sleep here?" he asked. 

I didn't bother to answer him but instead I stood up and decided to leave the room when he spoke. 

"Lisa, I'm sorry" 

I stopped but I never turn to look at him. My heart aches when I hear him say sorry. This is it, this are the very words I am waiting for him to say. Then my tears betrayed me once again as it falls. 

"I know you are hurting because of me. I've never been a good father for you and with that I'm sorry. I also know that you're blaming me for your mother's death by I never want that to happen to her Lis. I've loved your mother" 

I knitted my brows and was angry when I heard  him say the word 'love'. This time I turned around and faced him. 

"Love? You're saying you love her?" I asked shaking my head in disbelief. 

He nodded but I sarcastically laugh. 

"No you don't! Coz if you do, you will not cheat on her!" I shouted. 

His soft expression changed and hardens. 

"I never cheated on your mother!" he defended. 

"Liar! You never cheated? So what you just impregnated another woman huh?"

I looked at him fuming with anger. Is he trying to put the blame on Mom now? I can't believe him! 

I looked at him waiting for him to defend himself but instead of talking back, he remained silent and walk towards the bookshelf. 

He took one of the books out and I furrowed my brows while watching him. He turned the pages and I was confused when he pulled out a piece of paper from that book then he walked towards me. 

"I guess it's time for you to know the truth" he said while handing me the piece of paper. 

I was so confused of what's he's trying to say. Truth? What truth? I asked myself while I was looking at the piece of paper he's giving me. 

"What is this?" I asked after I took that from his hand. 

"That was your Mom's letter for you" 

I opened the letter and started reading it. 

My Lisa, 

I wrote this letter for you coz I am so afraid of telling you the truth personally, but you deserve to know everything my love so, I decided to write this if in case something happens to me and I can't make it in life. 

You know how much I love your father and because of that love I made something terrible. 

I was eighteen when I saw your father in the university and in that moment I felt my heart beats so fast and then I knew I already had a crush on him. Then we officially met each other on my parents birthday party. I never knew they are my father's business partner. That night, I was so happy coz finally I get to know him personally. He was kind and a gentleman. We became friends and we hang out a lot until my feelings for him started to get deeper and I started to fall in love with him but I didn't know that he's already in a relationship back then.

He introduced me to Yeri, his girlfriend, and she was so kind. I saw in their eyes how much they love each other so even if it kills me inside, I let my feelings go and give up but little did we know that your grandparents are already setting us up for a fixed marriage. 

When your grandparents told us their plan for us I got excited because he was my dream man but I was hurt when Marco felt otherwise. He went mad and told them he already loves someone else. I was so hurt that time but I can't do anything to fight for my feelings. Your grandparents didn't allow them to be together and they pushed through with the wedding with or without Marco's consent. 

Marco can't accept their decision and he rebelled against our parents. He runaway with Yeri and no one knows where they go. 

But because our parent's power and connections, they easily found them. They took Marco away from Yeri and they threatened Yeri's family business to be ruined and worst her family to be killed. And because of fear, Yeri broke up with Marco. 

Marco was in pain when Yeri broke up with him and he came to me drunk begging me to stop our upcoming arranged marriage. 

That night he told me I should let him go coz he's already married to Yeri. When he told me that, I went mad. I felt betrayed even though I don't have any rights to be one. 

He was so drunk as he cried and kneeled in front of me just to let him go but my selfishness consumed me. I love him so much and I can't find a way in my heart to let him go. For once, I want him for myself and I want to prioritize my own happiness. 

I took advantage of his vulnerable state and I seduced him. He's drunk and he's not on his right mind so I took that opportunity to make him feel that I could also give to him what Yeri can and that night something happened to us. 

Marco continued to look for Yeri but he hasn't found her. I know where did they brought her but I never told your father coz I know he will be leaving me once he knows where she is, so I kept that as secret. 

Then I learned that I got pregnant from that one night stand. I told Marco about it and he was very happy to be a father. He said he will start to move on and will focus on me and you. 

I was the happiest when Marco proposed to me. I know he's not in love with me yet and he's just doing that for you Lis but I don't care. All I know is that we have forever now for him to learn to love me. 

  
Your father and I got married despite him being married with Yeri. Our parents said they got it covered and the marriage happened. 

He took good care of me while your starting to grow in my tummy and I thought we already have our happy ending until we met Yeri again. She was also pregnant that time and your father suspected that the child was his which is true. Marco impregnated her when they runaway together but Marco didn't know. Everybody knows except us but I happened to hear our parents talking about it but I never told Marco because I was so afraid that he might leave me once he knew. I can't afford to lose him especially now that we'll be having you, Lis.

But when we saw Yeri my fears turned into reality. Marco left and looked for her. He wants to make sure that the kid was his but I didn't know what happned next.

All I know is that Marco came back to me. Since then he never leave. He forget about Yeri and he focused on us. Since then I never seen his genuine smile, but when you were born he was the happiest. I saw his genuine smile crept into his beautiful lips once more. He learned to love me but I know that was just because of you and he will never love me the way he loved Yeri but that was fine coz I saw how much he loves you Lis and he tried to be the best father you could ever have. 

Since you were born I don't have any idea what happened to Yeri and his child. Until I heard our parents talking that Yeri died after giving birth to their son, your brother. I asked my parents about the kid but they never told us where he is. 

That time my conscience was killing me. I couldn't sleep at night coz I am always dreaming about a child's face crying. I tried to look for the kid without your father's knowledge bur luck wasn't on my side. I never found him, until our parents died. They were buried on the ground as well as the whereabouts of the kid. Everytime I see you my love, I can never stop thinking about your father's child. He was the same age as you now I know. I want to see him coz I want to apologize for everything. I know they suffered a lot because of my and my parents selfishness. I want to apologize why he has to grow up without a parent. Everyday I pray to God to see him so I can say sorry for everything and lift this heavy feelings inside my chest. 

I'm sorry I don't have the courage to tell you about this. I'm sorry my love that I didn't tell you about your brother. Don't be mad at your father because of his coldness towards me because I deserve that. Don't be mad at him coz he loves you so much. 

I'm sorry for being a coward Lis. Mommy is sorry for everything. If ever you meet your brother when I'm gone, promise me to treat him well coz he deserves that and love each other, okay?

I love you and your father so much! 

Love,
Mommy

I felt my knees weak and I fall on the floor because of what I've read. 

So, all this time Jin is my father's legitimate child and we ruined their family. That they are my father's real family. I couldn't believe what I've learned and I was dumbfounded with the truth. My heart was aching so much and I couldn't breathe. 

Why didn't he tell me about this? Did Jin knew about this? So, this explains why my Dad was cold towards Mom. All this time I was angry at them because I thought they ruined our family but the truth is, it was us who ruined them. I can't believe it. 

I am crying on the floor when my dad hugged me. There was tears in his eyes as well. I lift my head up and looked at my father. 

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you let me put the blame on you and Jin?" I asked. 

"Coz I love you and your mom and I don't want you to be mad at her" 

"Why did you let me hurt Jin knowing that he's your legitimate child?" 

He shooked his head. 

"You are both my child. I don't look at you differently, for me I have no illegitimate coz both of you are my legitimate children" 

I felt a pang in my chest with what I've heard and my eyes were now blurry due to too much crying but I continued asking him questions. I want to know everything. 

"Does Jin knew about this?" 

He nods. 

"How did you find him?" 

I asked because my mom said my dad just came back and he never knew what happened to them. 

"I never neglected them. I broke up with Yeri because I couldn't leave you and your Mom coz I already promised her and I couldn't afford to see you grow up without a father. Besides, it will never good for them if I forced myself to be with them because my parents will never stop making their lives miserable. So, I came back to you and your Mom but they never knew I keep an eye on them just to make sure they'll live a better life. I've provided him materials things but I was never there to be a father to him especially when his Mom died giving birth with him. Yeri's parents took care of him but Jin was put in an orphanage when Yeri's parents died. I talked to the orphanage head to take good care of him while I provide him everything. I don't have any intention to introduce myself to him coz I don't have the guts and courage to face him. I was so afraid of what his reaction will be until one time your mother and I talked about what happened in the past. She asked me what happened back then when I went to Yeri and there I told her everything and she was so sorry. She said she wants to see Jin to apologize. Because of your mother, I gained the courage I need to tell him I am his father and I was overwhelmed when he never got mad at me. He hugged me and told me he's been waiting for me and that time I felt complete that finally I can bring him home, introduce him to you and your mother and be a happy family. But life was so never kind to me and the day I bring Jin home and introduced him to your Mom, your Mom got a heart attack and that's all you see. You we're so sad back then and I don't want to add anymore sadness in you that's why I kept everything and let you be mad with me and Jin. But Jin understands everything and he said he could never be mad at you coz you are his little sister and he loves you so much" he explained while pressing my hands. 

I felt so guilty with everything I have heard. I was so hard on them and hated them for no reason. It was them who has the right to be mad  and not me. I looked at my dad and said,

"I'm sorry Daddy. I'm sorry. I didn't know you suffered that much because of me. I'm sorry" 

"Ssshh... You have nothing to do with it, Lis. Don't blame yourself for everything. It was my choice and I will never ever regret that I chose you and your Mom. Besides, I already have you both so I could never ask for more" he smiled then he hugged me. 

I hugged him back. As tight as I could ever give and I cried against his chest. That's when I realized I missed him so much.