That same afternoon…

Seulgi felt really frustrated with the way things are right at that moment. She wanted to beat herself up for being unable to make up her mind or her heart rather. She felt like the biggest jerk on the planet for being indecisive. She has two equally amazing women hurting just because she cannot pick one of them. She wanted to slap her face. Punch her gut a million times and even kick her shins yet she knows that the physical pain will still not be enough to make up for her faults.

She heaves a deep sigh and glanced at the journal sitting at the side of her bed. The exact same position where Irene has left it a couple of hours ago. Basically, the same as it is since she hasn’t moved an inch after her wife has decided to go and give her some time and space. The truth is when the older utter those words, Seulgi felt a familiar ache in her chest but she couldn’t understand where it is coming from. Nor why she is somewhat accustomed to it. Like she experienced it a hundred times before. From what time of her life, she still does not know.

Feeling much more helpless than she initially is, she picked up her phone, the one that has been vibrating constantly for hours now. Krystal’s name flashing in bright bold letters. Yet she dismissed the call. What she does is go to her messages and picked the one sent by Joy a while ago. At first, when she asked Joy about Irene, her wife’s assistant told her that she is fine. Yet at some point Seulgi knows Irene like the back of her hand and would force her assistant to sugarcoat the truth,  so she coaxes Joy to tell her the truth about her wife’s real state.

Ms. Irene is here in Ms. Solar’s office. She is crying a lot. But don’t worry, we will make sure that she will be okay.

That gave her some kind of relief. That her wife still has a few friends by her side. But still hearing her wife crying her heart out is something that deeply hurt her too.  Seulgi found herself tearing up once again. She is surprised that she still has plenty despite crying her heart out for hours now. She stayed like that for a few minutes more. Unconsciously her body acted and stood up despite being a bit dizzy and went to her walk-in closet. To the life sized-mirror in the middle of it to be exact. The Seulgli that appeared before is somewhat familiar yet foreign as well. Familiar in the sense that she felt that she saw the same state before but as always she could not remember when.

“I know you’ve been hurt before Seulgi. But how can you stomach making two women cry for you? Why are you torturing me like this? Why. Why?” she can just cry desperately at the adult Seulgi. The same adult Seulgi who has been and still lying dormant inside of her mind.

In the end, her frustration over her unanswered questions wears her out.  She loses the strength in her legs and lets herself weep in silence.

Meanwhile, Irene was in no different state than her wife. She might have bravely told Seulgi that she will give the younger some space but it does not mean that she is happy with her decision because if it was her, then she would be there in their mansion, arms wrapped around her wife and would just coax her, plead to Seulgi to just pick her. A promise to do better and love her wife to the best of her abilities. To spend each moment of her life to make up for her past mistakes and stupidity. A vow to love Seulgi with everything that she has.

But No, Irene realized that she cannot be selfish like that. She realized that her past selfishness, pride, and impulsive actions led them to this precadiment, so she wanted to give Seulgi a choice. However, it doesn’t mean that she is not hurting. In fact, it felt like her heart has been ripped out of her chest, thrown into the ground, and trampled on.

“Hey, it’s okay Rene. You did the right thing. Now it’s up to Seulgi whom she would choose. It’s much better like this. Just think of it as another hurdle in your relationship. Something that you would just laugh about in the future.” Solar tried so much to reassure her. But this just caused Irene to cry even harder.

“But what if she picked her?” Irene managed to say despite her tears almost choking her in the process. She saw how Solar paused a bit to try and compose herself. Because honestly, it is not a possibility she wants to accept herself. She wanted Seulgi to be with Irene but she chose to be on a neutral side despite how hard it might be.

“Then it’s her lost to give up such a great woman. And for you, well let’s just say you can mourn and cry a bit, then move on completely from her. Find someone who will give you the love you deserve and start your own family with that person.” Solar said but with an unsettling glint on her eye. Something that makes it seem like she does not even have faith in what she herself just said.

Irene’s tears gush out even more upon hearing it. Because at this point in time, she doesn’t know how to live without Seulgi. Heck, she wouldn’t even dare to think about it.  She doesn’t know how to exist if her whole world will be taken from her.

In the end, Solar can just wrap her arms around her friend and give as much comfort as she can.

On another side of Seoul, Krystal, like the two is facing the same situation. As much as she tried not to she is silently berating herself for being selfish. She wanted to justify her actions by thinking that she is doing what is best for the one she loves the most.  However, when she sees how Seulgi is hurting because of her, the way the look of pure devastation is present on her face after the stunt that she pulled, the last time they saw each other, is making her question everything. This made her think back to the days when she was the girl’s sole lifeline. When Seulgi would eagerly grab her outstretched hand for her to escape the void she is in.

“Am I still doing the right thing?” She asked no one in particular. By now, she is starting to second-guess herself. Questioning if her actions and decisions are still right. Something she is feeling ever since she saw how much pain and guilt are present in Seulgi’s eyes after she kissed her.

That is until her phone starts ringing and the word CEO JUNG flashing in bold letters.

She took a deep breath first before she swipes the green button. She then puts the device on her ear with a dejected on her face.

“Yes Sir, I understand. Give me a few days and I’ll do it.” By the time the call ended, Krystal has an unreadable expression on her face. Then it turned into a determined one. After a long and arduous debate with herself, and all variables take into consideration, Krystal Jung finally made up her mind. She stared at her phone, the photo of Seulgi and her hands intertwined as her wallpaper greeting her eyes. She then sent a text a simple text to Seulgi.