One shot
Inspired (sort of not really) by 5sos old me

---

How many times did this make?

His 5th? 6th?

He couldn't remember.

Everything was such a blur to him now.

The concert lights in his eyes. The crowd cheering. The congratulatory messages after.

It should be fulfilling.

It really should.

It's all he had ever dreamt of since young. So why did it not?

The same empty feeling gnawed at his heart as if mocking him for feeling like he was a heartless . The stage that made him only feel temporary happiness but the void that was ever growing every time he stepped down. He filled it with numbing his emotions instead. One empty glass after another.

And another.

Until he no longer felt anything but horrible gut constrictions that made him want to throw out. On good days, he would end up on a bench. One bad days, the trash surrounding him was as comfortable as it got. Today was between the two as he sat on the stairs leading to the river. He leaned against the cemented wall, eyes closing slowly as drowsiness tried to pull him in.

A little breeze made him shudder and pull his jacket closer but he knew what it was.

He was there.

Recently he had been seeing someone every time he got drunk. He didn't know why or when but whenever he got drunk enough, this person would appear.

"Are you here to tell me off again?" the drunk male muttered tiredly. His eye bags heavy and voice husky. He rubbed a tired hand across his cheeks and sighed as he glanced over with watery eyes.

"Would that make you feel better?" he heard the male sigh as if tired of talking to him too. He let out a dry chuckle. The male had blonde hair, he could see that much even with a blurred vision. His body was about Minhyun's size, maybe bigger but he couldn't tell with the oversized sweater the other always seemed to wear. He was definitely shorter though. His voice was gentle and warm like an embrace to the tired male.

"No. But maybe if you hug me to sleep and get rid of this void, I'll feel better," He replied while stretching his tired legs out.

"You're getting worse."

"You don't say. I've been feeling worse, my friend."

"Friend? Didn't think you see someone who you always mock as a friend. But what's happening now?"

"You're my imaginary friend. Of course I can mock you," He snorted and took another sip from the bottle in his hold. "I've been feeling emptier after every show. As if its sapping my energy away. It hurts to even stand in front of my fans anymore."

"Then why don't you stop?"

"I can't. This is all I've ever dreamt of doing and I've achieved it."

There was a brief silence before he felt a warm hand take the bottle from his. His eyes drooped shut.

"Then maybe all you need is a good rest. A break."

A warm hand placed on his back. He felt himself moving to lean closer to the object of comfort before his alcohol infused mind out.

When Minhyun woke up, he was back in the hotel bed. Again. As always. It's as if his imaginary friend was real but Minhyun knew he wasn't. Mainly because he can only see him when he's drunk. When he's sober, he couldn't call his friend out no matter how many times he tried. Over and over. Just to have someone to talk to. He groaned and sat up, knowing any after effects of his drunken state wouldn't happen either. He didn't know when it started but it seemed he had built a tolerance towards it. Headaches, puking. He brought his phone to his attention as he pulled himself up from the bed. A couple of missed calls and messages but what was even new?

A call came in just as he was brushing his teeth and he picked it up.

"Finally! Where have you been all night, Minhyun?!" the shrill voice of their keyboardist came through. Minhyun spat out the toothpaste.

"Out. Where else?" he replied and gargle his mouth, throwing out the water before looking into the mirror. He looked dead. Worse than dead actually. Hollow. Like some zombie. He pulled at his cheek and sighed at how pale he looked. He should get some sunlight.

"Come on, Min. You can't keep disappearing on us like this."

"Yeah, yeah, Minki. What time is our schedule today?" he asked while taking off his shirt to take a much needed bath.

"3 and its already 1 in the afternoon."

"That means I still have 2 hours. I'll take a quick bath and be right there."

And he was there on time. Punctual as always. He rummaged his pocket and wondered if he should take a quick puff before entering but decided against it. He didn't like the stench of smoke lingering around him anyways so why did he develop this habit, he wasn't sure. He put on his best fakest smile as he greeted his bandmates.

"Care to tell us where you were?" the guitarist asked.

"Just somewhere, Jonghyun. Don't worry about it. I'm still safe, aren't I?"

"Min, you should know better than to go around recklessly. We are getting more popular and one wrong move can cost everything."

"Yeah, I know. I'm always in disguise. Don't worry about it."

"10 minutes until airing time," a staff said and Jonghyun sighed, giving up on reprimanding the main singer. Minhyun shut the compact powder and pursed his lips. He knew he shouldn't risk it but he hated knowing that he felt so empty. So numb. He left the makeup room to join the others who were already done. With his bright smile, he followed them onto the set.

"A good day today?" the gentle voice asked before it took a seat on the bench beside the main singer who was already drunk again. Minhyun scoffed as he rolled his eyes, a can of whatever the strongest alcoholic beverage he could get from the convenience store in his hand. A couple empty ones sat beside him. "You do know you're killing yourself, right? Your liver is going to cry."

"Whatever, friend. I'm going to cry before it can even cry," He said while pouting, leaning back against the chair. Shoulders slack and making himself small as he lifted his jacket to cover his face.

"Why?"

"Because I hate the way I feel. I hate it so much."

"The empty void again?"

"Yes. It's getting worse and I feel like I'm free falling," Minhyun sighed while crushing the can and placing it beside the others. He picked up a new one but a warm hand stopped him. He froze, feeling the warmth tingle his cold skin.

"Stop already, Minhyun."

"You're just imaginary. You don't have the power to stop me," He scoffed and slapped the hand away before popping the top off. Downing the whole can in a single gulp. He turned to look at the man beside him who looked back at him with an expression that seemed... "You're worried?"

"Of course I am."

Minhyun sneered and shook his head. "Idiot. Why would you even care?"

A sigh. "Because you deserve better than to destroy yourself like this."

" you."

"You don't mean that."

"Yeah? Whatever." Minhyun pulled his jacket tighter and hid his face inside as his tears started pouring out. He bit his lower lip and cursed at himself for losing it. Talking to some imaginary friend. How old is he? To even rely on something like this instead of his bandmates who had been with him through thick and thin. He sobbed and curled up on the bench. A warm hand pulled him downwards as he laid on the lap of his imaginary friend and cried himself to sleep.

He jolted awake and blinked. He rubbed his eyes, feeling the eyebags as he sat up. He yawned and stretched his body. Just another day. He sighed and continued with his day.

"And there you have it, Nuble with their latest track, Wishing Well."

"Thank you very much."

"Thank you."

"See you tomorrow."

"See you."

"Minhyun."

The tall singer stopped and turned around to find the worried looking Minki catching up to him.

"Want to catch dinner with us? You haven't been hanging out with us at all recently."

Minhyun gave it some thought before he nodded. "Sure."

They laughed. They chatted. They discussed. All for the sake of their band. Maintain their friendship, the balance of the group. Yada, yada, yada. Minhyun knew he hadn't been the best at doing that recently, always running off on his own to drink himself dead. But even being around them, he didn't feel fulfilled. He used to enjoy making music with them, spend time to just create more songs. But that was the old him. The current him no longer felt that excitement or the motivation. Now he just wanted the hole in his chest to be gone. He wished he could just tip molten metal onto himself and fill up the cracks that had been made but life didn't work that way.

"Minhyun, you know you can tell us if you're actually dating, right?"

The singer raised his brow. "What makes you think I'm dating?" Minhyun would kill to even feel love beat in his frozen heart again. It was as if he was stuck in a limbo that made him sink more everyday. A ing quicksand that ate his emotions without mercy.

"You leave the very moment you can. You spend the entire day out and you don't reply to our texts or calls," Jonghyun said and Minhyun scoffed, rolling his eyes a little.

"Yah. Two of us are older than you, Minhyun," the oldest bassist said. "And don't forget we made this band together so we have to work hard to stay together too."

Minhyun wanted to. He really did. He would do anything to even feel the same fire he did when he first started but where was it? Smothered. Buried under sand. "Yeah. Sorry. I'm not dating."

"ing hell."

"I thought you wouldn't drink today."

"What the do you know?" Minhyun crushed the can and dumped it back into the plastic bag, pulling out another as he stumbled across his hotel room and fell onto the ground before he reached the bed. He sobbed and his body shuddered from the cold. He rubbed his tears away and pushed himself up again, feeling his drying throat ask for more. He opened another can and dunked it down his throat as he crashed onto the bed, sobbing like a complete mess. No, he was a complete mess. A sorry excuse of a pathetically living human. He cried and pressed his hands against his eyes.

"Minhyun."

"Shut up!" he yelled at his imaginary friend for the first time, throwing the can in the direction of the voice. He cried and rolled over to his side, clutching his stomach that started to hurt. He tried to make his way to the bathroom but it was too late as he puked right then and there. The contents of his dinner gushed out as he let it all out, crying and gritting his teeth. He sat down and whimpered, wishing he wasn't like this. Wishing he could be better. Feel something again. He looked at the man standing there with beer splattered on his clothes with his teary eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No. It's fine. You should see a doctor. Or a therapist. I'm worried about you."

Minhyun wiped his face with the back of his hands, feeling the urge to puke rise again from the stench and bitter aftertaste on his tongue. "You? Worried? I didn't think an imaginary friend was capable of worrying."

"Minhyun, I-"

"Forget it." Minhyun sniffled and pushed himself up but his world turned and he fell.

"Minhyun!"

He blinked and found himself in bed, tucked in. Was he dreaming? He turned his head to find his hotel room clean without a trace of his breakdown yesterday yet he could remember it clearly. Minhyun wasn't the type to forget things even when he was drunk after all. Sure, he couldn't control his tongue or actions but he could remember. He sighed and sat up. It was a concert day today so he needed to put on his best self. He slapped his cheeks and got up.

The crowd cheered as they got on stage to perform. Minhyun greeted them with a wide wave and yelled for the crowd to scream. They did and he grinned. It temporarily made him forget about the void within him as he sang his lungs out. All his disappearing emotions. Forcing a ripple in himself to stir.

"Good work, everyone."

"Thank you so much."

"See-"

"Jonghyun."

"Yes, Minhyun?"

"I'm sorry about my behavior yesterday."

The guitarist was surprised but smiled and gave him a pat on his back. "It's fine. I forgive you but if there's really something bothering you, you can just tell us. We are a team, Minhyun."

Minhyun smiled and nodded but he knew he couldn't tell them. They were too kind and deserved someone better than Minhyun. He pulled Jonghyun into a hug which surprised the other.

"Thank you, Jonghyun."

"No problem."

"Hey! Why do you get a hug but I don't?!"

"Come here, Minki. You too, Aron!"

"Group hug!"

Minhyun laughed and hugged all of them.

"Thank you."

"Thank you."

"Thank yo-"

"Minhyun! Stop!"

The singer looked up at the figure with bloodshot eyes. He looked down and gasped. Emptied bottles in the bathtub. When did he get here? How? He turned back to the blond male for answers but was only given a response with a concerned expression.

"You're not well."

"Clearly," Minhyun muttered and rubbed his lips. Wet. He grunted and looked around for more clues on how he got here. A different bottle. He reached over and picked it up. A bottle with prescription. Medicine. But it was empty. "Did I take this, friend?"

"Yes. You swallowed every pill in there."

Minhyun laughed dryly and placed a hand over his eyes. ". I didn't die, huh?"

Sigh. "Well, you did go to the doctor."

Minhyun laughed again, sliding lower in the tub until the back of his head could lean on it. He sighed. "Guess I'll have to get a few more."

"Enough is enough, Minhyun. You should tell someone. At this rate, you'll just deteriorate."

Minhyun looked at the male, the light hanging above him made him more of a silhouette but Minhyun could still see the blonde ends of his hair. "Hey, friend. You have a name?"

"Huh?"

"It's retarded that I talk to you every time I'm wasted but I don't even give you a name. Do you have a name?"

"I do."

"What is it?"

"What do I get in return for telling you my name?"

"Fine. Don't tell me. I'll call you prick."

"My name isn't important, Minhyun. What's important is that you get better."

Minhyun bit his lower lip and held back his sobs. "I can't. I'm broken. I can't even ing suicide properly. Why don't I feel like anyways?"

"You puked earlier."

"Did I? Hell, I can't even remember anymore, huh?"

He grabbed the side of the tub and tried to get up. After a few tries, he finally got up and climbed out. Standing next to the figure, he realised he was taller than him.

"Where are you going?" the male asked as Minhyun brushed him aside to leave the bathroom. Minhyun looked at his hand as he stumbled onto his bed, laying down.

"Hey, friend."

"What?"

"Can you hug me to sleep?"

"So you can die while embracing someone?"

"Maybe," Minhyun chuckled and closed his tired eyes. "Or maybe I just really need someone. For one night."

"Scoot over then, you overgrown man."

Minhyun felt his bed dip and he opened his eyes to find the male actually laying down on the bed beside him. He smiled a little, wondering if he was dreaming. He hugged his imaginary friend who didn't feel that imaginary anymore at that moment. He was warm. His hug was returned and he felt safe. Protected within the embrace.

"You're warm."

"Of course I am."

"Am I dying?"

"Considering how much you drink and that you downed a whole bottle of pills down, I would be more surprised if you didn't."

Minhyun laughed. "Since when did you become so sarcastic?"

A sigh. "Since you forget that your life is worth more than you give yourself credit for."

Minhyun smiled and thought he felt a skip in his heart but that was probably a fluke as he went to sleep.

He sat in front of the therapist, unsure of what he should say or where to start. He introduced himself and started talking. Speaking as truthful as he could. The band. His life prior and after. Everything he could remember but he mentioned nothing about his imaginary friend who was starting to feel more real every passing night. The therapist was, sad to say, unhelpful for Minhyun. He tried. He really did but he couldn't fill the void in Minhyun's heart. He could only say he wasn't alone and that many suffered like him and that he shouldn't give up. Minhyun knew the therapist was just doing his best but it didn't help that it made him want to throw something at him. He just sighed.

He leaned against the railing of the bridge that stopped people from falling into the sea. He let the wind blow against his face. He rubbed his eyes and groaned, wishing he had something to drink now despite already feeling drunk as if he never did stop drinking. He turned around and sat down, hugging his legs. Shoes appeared in front of him and he looked up, surprised.

"Bad day today?"

"You..."

"Hmm?"

His imaginary friend smiled and Minhyun rubbed his eyes. "You... Don't you only appear when I'm drunk?"

His friend blinked and gasped. "Wai- you're not?"

"Wait!" Minhyun stood up but the male had started running, vanishing into thin air. Minhyun blinked, rubbing his eyes in confusion. That was ing weird. All these while, he thought the male was imaginary but maybe he wasn't? But that couldn't be since he just disappeared. Had his imaginary friend go rouge?

Though that was bothering his mind, it didn't stop Minhyun from drinking that very night either. He was addicted and knew he should stop. Go to the studio, make music. Something else that wasn't drinking. He put the empty bottle into the trash and opened the fridge to take another. He felt a breeze and turned around.

"Oh, you're here."

"This time, you're drunk, right?"

"Does it matter? I remember everything from when I'm drunk anyways," Minhyun replied while popping the cap off and taking another swing of beer. He noticed the male was stunned and raised a brow. "Wait. Did you think I don't remember you at all?"

"Huh? N-W-That's dumb."

Minhyun snorted and took a seat on the couch while closing his eyes. "Whatever. Come sit beside me."

"What makes you think I would?"

"We already hugged to sleep."

"Ugh." The male made his way to the couch and sat down. Minhyun rubbed his eyes and looked at the male. Carefully observing his features. He had a warm face, one that could make you spill your deepest darkest secret with just a single smile. His light brown eyes made Minhyun feel warm as they turned to look at him. He blinked and smiled. The male smiled as well. "This is awkward."

"Why? You come every night and now it's awkward?"

"You're not very drunk today."

"Yeah. I think the shock you gave me today made me sober up for tonight."

The male laughed and slid his hair up. "Well. Sorry."

"So what are you? My imaginary friend?"

The male laughed and shrugged. "I'm whatever you want me to be."

Minhyun paused his drinking and turned to him again. "Really?"

"Yes."

"I want you to fill this void in my heart. Then maybe.... Maybe I can stop being such a piece of ."

"What makes you think filling it would help?"

"At least I'll stop feeling horrible first and foremost."

"Right. Sorry. Can't do anything about that."

"I know. Then at the very least, you can hold me, right?"

"That, I can."

Minhyun put the bottle away and sighed, leaning into the other's warm embrace. The male cradled him like a child despite his long body. He couldn't fill up the void but the warmth exuded off him made Minhyun feel a little better. Immediately, he felt sleep trying to claim him and he allowed it to take him slowly.

"Minhyun, my name..."

"And that's all for today."

Minhyun wiped his sweat away as they had just finished their rehearsal for the concert that night. He picked up the towel to dry his hands and sipped water from his bottle as he eyed the stage that was still being renovated for some last minute changes. Jonghyun and Aron stood in the middle of the stage discussing the placement and moves they would do while Minki was off somewhere. Minhyun sighed and looked up at that moment. His brows dipped when he noticed someone fixing the stage lights up above. It didn't look very secured from his view as it wobbled a little. He stood up and decided to call Jonghyun and Aron over when he heard a scream. Without a second thought, he ran and pushed his friends out of the way.

CRASH!

Minhyun felt his head spin. His body hurt. Wet. He lifted his hand to find blood. He laughed dryly. His body's temperature started falling rapidly and he could barely breathe.

"MINHYUN! CALL AN AMBULANCE!"

"OH MY GOD. MINHYUN!"

He heard his name being called but he could barely register the pain of having his head smashed by a heavy stage light. His eyelids flickered and he smiled. Is this it then? Death from a falling stage light? Maybe it was all fated for him to die on stage too. Maybe this will let him have a peace of mind. He felt arms grab him and that was when he screamed. The searing pain that spread like a fire across his body. The blood wasn't only from his head, he realised. A metal rod attached to the light had penetrated his body too. The pain made his head pound and his eyes forcing themselves to close.

"Minhyun."

A sweet gentle voice.

"Minhyun, wake up."

He opened his eyes and blinked. What? Who?

"Oh. Thank god," a familiar voice cried out. He looked down and saw his bandmate's faces. Each haggard and tear stained.

"Minhyun, are you alright? Call the doctor please."

"Minhyun, hey buddy. You alright?"

Minhyun blinked, feeling his throat parch as if he had been walking in a desert. He broke into a thin smile. "Hey."

"You saved us, Minhyun. Do you remember?" Aron asked and Minhyun just blinked. His body felt numb everywhere after all.

"Mmm... I'm cursed with a good memory, Aron," Minhyun replied jokingly and they laughed lightly.

"Thank goodness you're alright." They gave him gentle pats on the shoulder. Minhyun smiled a little bigger and nodded.

"I guess..."

"It missed your vital points thankfully. It was a miracle."

Minhyun stared at the doctor dumbfounded. A miracle? Minhyun swore he felt like he was dying until they pulled him away. He thanked the doctor and looked at the wound. He was alone since the rest still had to have the concert with or without him. Minki knew the lyrics to all the songs too so it was easy to replace him temporarily. Minhyun doubted something that pierced through him was anything short of a miracle but at the same time, it wasn't impossible. He looked around the room.

"I know you're there."

Silence. Minhyun sighed.

"You saved me, didn't you?"

Minhyun gritted his teeth.

"Just come out, Dongho."

The curtains waved a little despite the window being shut and then he was there. Blonde hair and all. Standing beside the bed. Minhyun chuckled and sighed.

"I knew it. You're no ordinary imaginary friend," Minhyun said softly. The male shook his head.

"I'm your guardian angel. Or at least I thought I was."

"What changed?"

"You."

Minhyun couldn't say he was surprised with that response though.

"More accurately, your soul. You've been drifting between death and life for awhile now. That's why you started to be able to see me."

"That time in the tub? And this time? Am I really dying?"

"Don't be silly. I wouldn't have conjured a miracle if you were going to die and you wouldn't be seeing me if that were the case too."

"Ah..." Minhyun stared at Dongho. "Your eyes are red."

The angel laughed and placed his warm hand on Minhyun's. "You almost died. I almost didn't make it in time, Minhyun. It went through your heart."

"Oh. That's why I thought I was dying."

"You were. Rapidly. But when they moved you, I had managed to move the damage."

"That's why it started to hurt like ... Its your fault." Minhyun squeezed his hand and Dongho shrugged. "Thank you... I don't know what law you broke to save me but thank you. You could have let me die seeing how I've been suffering but you didn't."

"Because I love you, Minhyun."

That made Minhyun surprised but the angel meant it as he smiled.

"You have a voice that can change people's life. It'll be such a waste to throw it away. You can help so many people. So please... Promise me you'll try to be better."

Minhyun's tears sprung into his eyes as he gripped Dongho's hand. "Guess I do owe you my life after all."

The angel patted Minhyun's hand.

"I'll try if you promise me... You'll always be my guardian angel."

"Of course."

Maybe the void in his heart couldn't be filled but Minhyun found something he could hold onto.

A warm hand.

A warm embrace.

Something to keep the bad days away.

In the form of his guardian angel.

"Thank you, Dongho."

Fin