#nowplaying- Baek A Yeon-Sad Song

~~~ POV

I woke up to the sound of people chattering around me. As I opened my eyes, my family, Han Byul, Dong Wook and Seunghyun was standing around me. I pulled myself up and sat.

“Babe, how are you feeling?” asked Han Byul who was trying to hold back her tears in front of me.

“I’m aliright.”

“Why didn’t you tell omma and appa about Jaejoong? Aissh my little girl, it’s been hard on you…” said my mum.

“Where is Ommo-nim? I have to get to them and help out with the funeral preparation…”

“They’re at the morgue. All of us will be helping out. Oppa and Han Byul took the time off for this few days to help with Jae’s funeral. It’s the last thing we could do for him before sending him off…”stated Dong Wook.

“Thank you guys, I have to get to ommo-nim. She needs me now…”

“You’re still weak ~~~, remember you’re pregnant now. You have to take care of you and the baby,” reminded Seunghyun.

“You’re pregnant?” asked Han Byul.

“We get to that later but please Seunghyun as a good friend can you do me a favour and bring me to my mother-in-law. She must be devastated. I have to be by her side,” I pleaded.

Seunghyun gave a nod and slowly helped me out of the bed.

I have to keep myself strong for Jae’s family, the baby and myself. Having to lose the only son of the Kim family is a huge blow to them.  I could hear people crying as our steps got nearer to the morgue. I brave myself and held back my tears.

“~~~!!” wailed Jae’s mum as she ran towards me.

“Bian, my child…I could not save Jaejoong, Sorry…I’m so sorry…” apologised his mum.

“Aniya, God just loves him more. It’s not your fault,”….I hugged her tightly…”Jae won’t want to hear that ommo-nim.”

“Sorry to interrupt, we’ve finished cleaning up the body and may I know who would want to clothe him or do you want us to take care of it?” asked the undertaker.

“Chakaman…”said Jiyoon unnie.

“~~~, the whole family had discussed about this and we decided that you should do the clothing for Jae. You’re already like the family daughter-in-law and omma wants you to the last duty for Jae. My husband has left the outfit inside. Omma chose it. And this,”…..as she passed me a black hanbok…”Wear it and joined with the family later as we greet the guest okay…”instructed Jiyoon unnie.

“Komawo, unnie…thank you for this…” I thanked.

As the family left for the funeral place to start with the preparations, I looked over at Seunghyun who was standing by my side.

“Seunghyun, would you like to accompany me inside?”

“I would like to, my friend…”

As I entered the morgue, I took a deep breath and control all my feelings inside. I saw the outfit by the table. It was Jaejoong’s tuxedo for our wedding. The socks and shoes was all that was chosen for the wedding.

“Hold back ~~~, Don’t cry…” I mumbled to myself.

I went over to him who was lying peacefully on the metal table. I opened up the cloth that was over him and saw his face.

“Babo, are you that happy to leave me huh,” I said seeing the smile he had on.

“Ya ~~~, you shouldn’t speak like that to Jae…” exclaimed Seunghyun.

With Seunghyun’s help, we dressed Jaejoong together. It would be the last time I will ever get to dress him.

“Complete,” as I put his shoes on.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Seunghyun POV

She stared at his face for a long time after completing putting his clothes on. A tear didn’t drop while she was clothing him. How is she feeling inside? I could remember how I didn’t stop for once when Bom passed on. From the time she closed her eyes till we buried her. I was too devastated that by the end of the day no more tears could come out.

I put my hands on her shoulder…”Are you ready to go?” I asked.

“Can you stay with me a little longer…I wanna look at him…I’m scared that I might forget his face…” she replied.

“Alright, look at him till your heart’s content…”

She caressed his face slowly from his eyebrows down to his nose and lips.

“Don’t he look at peace Seunghyun…it seems that he’s just sleeping.”

“Yes, he looks good too while sleeping huh…” I teased to cut some silence up as she gave a small laugh.

“Hmmm Okay Seunghyun, Im ready to go….”…..she took a deep breath….”Chagiya, I have to go now. Have a wonderful sleep okay and remember to look over our child and me. Thank you for the memories that we shared. Promise to wait for me, I know it will take years for me to join you but just wait okay. I love you Kim Jaejoong. I love you so so much…. Goodbye now…”she said her last words and planted the last kiss on his lips.

I held out my hand…”Let’s go ~~~…” as we both walk out of the morgue and made our way to the funeral venue.

Family and friends were there at the venue where the funeral took place. ~~~ wore the black hanbok and stood beside Jaejoong’s mum and sisters. I could see the brave front she was trying to put .Jaejoong’s mum were in a daze and so as his sisters. ~~~ was strong and greeted the guest for them. How strong a women will power is that she can just put her emotion aside and put herself at a state where she could just forget everything that had happened before?

The funeral took place over 2 days and Jaejoong was buried at the same cemetery as Bom. Was it  a coincidence? Everything went smoothly. I looked at ~~~ who was standing opposite me as Jae’s coffin was lowered down. She looked calm as she threw down Jae’s wedding ring in .

"Are you okay?" I said and took a sit next to ~~~ on the bench in the cemetery.

“I’m fine, it’s good that everything went smoothly…a nice weather, no rain…”

I held onto her hand…”Are you sure you’re okay? You didn’t tear up a bit babe…”

“Of Course I’m okay, I have to accept the fact he’s gone. God just loves him more. I have to take care of myself and the baby so I need to be strong…Don’t worry I’m alright…” she said giving me a smile.

As we chatted, Dong Wook and Han Byul approached us.

“Hey babe, we’re going back now, let’s go. Dong Wook oppa will send us home…”said Han Byul.

“Sorry guys, I’m going back to Jae’s apartment. I’ll be staying there for a few days and I need to take care of some stuff too…”

“ALONE? No way I’m leaving you there alone ~~~ and PREGNANT! Please ~~~ come back to our apartment, you need to rest…”scolded Han Byul.

“Yes please ~~~, hear what Han Byul says will you,” interrupted Dong Wook

“I can take care of myself, are you afraid I might do something to myself while at Jae’s apartment cos there is so many things that will remind me of him huh? I’m carrying his child guys don’t worry I won’t do anything and I’ll be alright!” she emphasized.

“Okay if you guys are too worried, I ask Seung Hyun to accompany me okay...”….she turned and looked at me…”I wi-ll if you want me to…” I answered.

“Fine but make sure to give me a call before you sleep okay my friend…Take care okay…” agreed Han Byul as we said our goodbyes and parted.

We reached Jae’s apartment after a 2 hour’s drive. As I stepped into the apartment, it felt exactly like how I felt when I came back to my apartment. The smell of his cologne could be still strongly smelled as we opened the door.~~~ showed me to the guest room where I will rest in.

“Here, take a shower and rest. I will be in my room and turning in soon, if you need anything just knock. Just make yourself at home okay…”

“Hmmm okay….but are you really okay ~~~? Really Really?” I asked again.

“Oh Seunghyun how many times shall I repeat I’M OKAY IDIOT!” she assured as she gave a big smile for me.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

~~~ POV

The clock showed 12 AM. After a quick shower, I changed into Jae’s clothes as I brought back all mine clothes back to my apartment for washing. I looked into the mirror and rolled up my tee as I touched my tummy.

“It’s just you and mummy now huh…” I whispered.

As I put on my night cream before going to bed, I remembered the key Jae passed me. I quickly took it out from my trench coat pocket and made my way down the hall to the locked room. The room where Jae loves to spend his time in.

I put the key in the lock…”Close your eyes, in the count of 3 opened it…”…I took a huge breath…“1, 2, 3…”

I was in awed to see the contents in the room. My eyes started to tear up. How could he do this? How could he?

“KIM JAEJOONG!!” I wailed as I cried deeper.

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