If it weren't for the sun's blinding light shining through the window, Jennie wouldn't have woken up yet. It felt like a normal day for her. She looked at her bedside table to check what time it is.

 

1:32pm



 

"Oh that's nice. I've been asleep for half the day," she thought to herself.



 

She was about to go back to sleep when she gazed upon her dress, the same black sultry outfit she wore the other night.


 

She groaned at the thought of the things she did last night, not that any of those will get her into trouble. But she was not used to getting too much alcohol into her system. The fact that alcohol inhibits the flow of rational thoughts of the brain was not new to her, but she always thought she could control herself no matter how much she'd drink.


 

She grabbed the nearest pillow next to her and buried her head in it, as if it would relieve the remaining pain left lingering in her head.


 

As her nose brushed against the pillow, there was a familiar scent. She can't really put her finger on it. It was like one of those kinds when you smell something and it kinda brings back memories from your past. Nothing specific, but you remember the way you felt during that time.



 

Strawberry mixed with vanilla.



 

The scent bothered her so much that she couldn't find it in herself to sleep. No, not until she remembers where it comes from.


 

Instead of going back to sleep, she decided to get up and grab something that would make her tummy stop grumbling.


 

On her way down, she could smell pancakes coming from the kitchen.


 

"Pancakes at 1 in the afternoon? Come on dad you've got to be kiddi--"


 

The blonde figure standing in front of her is too familiar for her not to recognize who she is from behind. Is this really happening or is she hallucinating?


 

A sudden rush of memories from the past night came crawling back to her in an instant. Coffee. Unbearable heels. A lump shaped like a person underneath her blanket.


 

Oh . It is real.


 

But why?



 

She can't remember if they already had any conversation before she dozed out, so hopefully they haven't. Otherwise she'd worry she already said something stupid.


 

Like how much she missed her. That she kept the handkerchief she got from her and would smell it from time to time just so she won't forget how she smells like. That she wears the shirt (she secretly took from her closet while she was asleep) every night for the past year in an attempt to make her miss her less.


 

That she hasn't stopped loving her.


 

Oh dear God if she ever said any of those things out loud she would kill herself.



 

A part of her wants to run towards the younger girl and just hold her tight while crying. But the other half, the much saner one, chose not to. Other than her pride holding her back, she physically can't muster enough strength to walk towards her.


 

Before she could make up her mind on what to do, Lisa turned around. Still holding the plate filled with freshly cooked pancakes, she froze in her spot.


 

"Oh hey you're awake. Sorry if I didn't hear you come down because of these," she took off her earphones, "Your dad told me you haven't eaten yet, so I made you the only thing I know how to cook. Thanks by the way."


 

Say something head, the voice in her head screamed.
 

Though it's clear by now that the person in front of her is real and not a figment of her imagination, she secretly pinched her arm in an attempt to wake herself up in case this was all a dream.


 

"I...umm... thanks," her voice croaked at the last word, which made her inwardly curse at herself for making it really obvious how dumbfounded she is right now. "So uhh is it okay if I ask something?"



 

Lisa took one bite of her pancake before answering, "Sure go ahead."


 

"What are you doing here?" she sat down at the nearest stool which is located across the kitchen counter, "Because I'm pretty sure this isn't something we do every weekend. You coming into our house and cooking pancakes like it's the most normal thing ever."


 

She tried to hide the exasperation in her voice, but to no avail.


 

The younger girl must have sensed how serious she is so she took a deep breath before speaking.


 

"I wanna fix this, Jen. I'm here to ask if you would want to give us another chance."


 

Lisa's eyes bore onto hers, melting all her walls down. This isn't how she pictured this would happen. She always practiced how she would act the first time they see each other again, which to be honest she didn't expect to happen this soon. She would be this cool, unbothered ex who is totally chill. But now she's lost all her cool and is far from being chill.



 

"Why all of a sudden? Why did it take this long? Lisa, I waited for a call every single day. Even a text would suffice. All I needed was something to hold on to. The tiniest ray of hope that maybe you would fight for us."


 

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do then. All I wanted was for you to have the complete, happy family you've always dreamed of. I wanted you to be happy."


 

"But that wasn't the only thing that can make me happy!" Tears started streaming down her face, but she didn't care. She's held it back for so long, it's about time she let it out. "Lisa you were the only person I thought would never give up on me no matter what happens. You helped me get through the darkest chapter of my life. For the first time in a very long time I felt that someone would actually care enough to stay and hold on."


 

"Jennie, I care. I'm sorry if it didn't seem like I did at that moment, but I really do. I only did what I thought was best for you."



 

"But you don't get to decide that! This is my life and I'm the only one who can tell what's best for me!" Lisa tried reaching out to hold her hand but she moved away, "I just wanna know one thing and if you care for me like you say you do, I want you to be real honest with me."


 

"Absolutely."


 

"Why did you ask me to leave?"


 

All traces of certainty drained out of Lisa's expression. She could only look down as she contemplated the right thing to do.


 

"Jen, I'm sorry."


 

"Goddammit Lisa it's been a year! I am giving you a chance here and you still won't tell me?"


 

"I can't, it's not for me to tell. I'm really sorry."


 

Jennie stood up and walked towards the exit. Before she reached the doorway she took one last look at the younger girl who was pleading with her tear-stained face for her not to go.


 

"Maybe that's all you'll ever be."







 

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A/N: Okay so as it turns out, this isn't the last chapter. Sorry I underestimated it lol.

So yeah I don't know how many chapters there are left but I swear I would try to update as much as I can. Love you guys. J