"I'm sorry"

 

Namjoon has been repeating these words to Seokjin for two days now everytime he has a time to say it. He was too sorry for losing. He even assured Seokjin that he will win it. But no, he didn't. The weights slipped out of his hands and everyone was so sad to see that happen. Pity can also be seen. But to Seokjin, it was nothing. He still sees the way Namjoon won the fight entirely. Whatever hindered him and his own desire to win, it all meant beautiful. That, Namjoon doesn't know. He wants to surprise him when the day comes.

 

"I told you. Don't be sorry"

 

Seokjin said the same replies for two days as well. But Namjoon was just too embarassed not even to say sorry in front of Seokjin. He failed on protecting Seokjin against Kihyun that time, and he hates it very much more than losing that competition itself.

 

"I could've ignore my fe---whatever's running on my mind that time"

 

Namjoon almost spilled the bean but managed to escape the mess. Seokjin bent down a bit to see how's his lovely sugar gliders are doing.

 

"Whatever was on your mind, you were strong enough to hold your prolonged pain"

 

Seokjin said. Namjoon kept quiet. He was struck by his words. Seokjin faced him this time and put his right hand on Namjoon's left shoulder. Seokjin knew there was something wrong the moment he saw Namjoon's eyes trembled when everyone applauded him. He must have been under a traumatic experience before.

 

"You will be alright"

 

Seokjin said. Namjoon's heart twitched, not because of Seokjin's solid support but because he was consoled in a different way. He had always blamed himself for what happened 13 years ago. But this is the very first time he heard such words. That he was strong and that he will be alright. Namjoon sobbed his consoled feelings and before Seokjin can even open the door of his office, he faced the already crying Kim Namjoon, shoulders going up and down in rhythm.

 

"Hey, why are you..."

 

Seokjin decided not to finish his question. Instead, he inched closer and gave Namjoon a comforting hug, only making the sobs to become cries - cry of a lost boy still inside the maze of his past. They just stood there, Seokjin comforting and Namjoon letting his pain flow out for once again in his life.

 

An hour after, Namjoon is back on being all serious about the paperworks handed by Mr. Yoon. Even though his eyes are all puffy from the intense crying session and the embarassment it brought him when he realized that his runny nose is on Seokjin's necktie, he still does his best to finish his work without getting distracted.

 

But that won't work anyway. Seokjin's comforting words keeps on bugging him in an echo effect inside his head, causing him to giggle in the middle of everything - even getting lunch in the cafeteria makes him giggle that almost everyone are bickering about him going insane or something.

 

"Kim Namjoon?"

 

Someone called his name and he turned his head to face that someone.

 

"Oh, Mr. Kim Joonsuk?"

 

Namjoon said

 

"I'm glad you remembered me"

 

Joonsuk said in a very meaningful way

 

"How could I not? Anyway, are you here to see Seokjin? He's at his office right now"

 

Namjoon said

 

"Oh no. I just happened to visit one of my close friends here too"

 

Joonsuk said

 

"Ah, is that it? Well, it's good to see you again Mr. Kim. I'm sorry but I need to go for now"

 

Namjoon excused himself politely

 

"Oh, no worries. Nice to see you too"

 

Joonsuk said. Namjoon bowed his goodbye and walked away from him to catch the elevator when suddenly, his phone rang and it showed President Kim on his screen. He giggled a bit before answering.

 

"Are you still on the first floor?"

 

Seokjin asked

 

"Ah, yes. Why President?"

 

Namjoon asked smiling but he lied

 

"Can you run me an errand? I want to drink some latté at the nearby coffee shop"

 

Seokjin ordered

 

"Oh sure!"

 

Namjoon said and Seokjin immediately hanged up. So Namjoon got off the elevator and rode again on the other one that's going down back to the first floor.

 

*

 

"Your coffee, President Kim"

 

Namjoon said

 

"Thank you"

 

Seokjin said in return

 

"Namjoon-ah"

 

Seokjin called

 

"Yes, President Kim?"

 

Namjoon replied. Seokjin looked at him for a moment before breathing deeply. He is hesitant to ask but he wanted to know and somehow, he wanted to give it a try - if Namjoon trusts him.

 

"Can I ask you a very sensitive question?"

 

Seokjin asked a preliminary question. Namjoon nodded immediately without even thinking of what kind of sensitive Seokjin is referring to.

 

"What's wrong with people applauding at you?"

 

Seokjin asked. Namjoon was taken aback. His eyes widened a bit and coughed.

 

"It's alright"

 

Seokjin said

 

"Well, I, I noticed you trembling heavily during that time, not because of the weights"

 

Seokjin continued

 

"I'm sorry"

 

Namjoon replied

 

"If losing that battle is for you to find some of my weaknesses to get back at me, I'm sorry. I'll do better the next time"

 

Namjoon continued. Seokjin was surprised by what Namjoon said. He wasn't meaning that. But maybe, for Namjoon, it sounded harsh.

 

"No, I..."

 

Seokjin sighed.

 

"I just thought that you might have some phobia or trauma about it. I was worried, don't misunderstand me"

 

Seokjin said. Namjoon's eyes softened at the words "I was worried". He can't understand himself but the unfamiliar butterflies are coming back once again on his stomach. Circling and flapping their wings on his belly button.

 

"The contract"

 

Namjoon said

 

"The salary that I will receive will help me find the person who killed my parents"

 

Namjoon continued. Seokjin stood up and went in front of Namjoon, being intrigued of what he started to say all of a sudden.

 

"They were killed after my standing ovation performance 13 years ago"

 

Namjoon said as his voice started to crack little by little

 

"I'm sorry for making you stand there"

 

Seokjin said

 

"The statute of limitation already expired 3 years ago, President. Finding the killer might mean I'll do the justice myself"

 

Namjoon said as a tear fell from his left eye

 

"Then let me help you too"

 

Seokjin said

 

"Your hands will get blood too if you do so, President"

 

Namjoon said

 

"Just like what you said. I'll help you. Because it's you"

 

Seokjin replied