Stress...
Connections to RelationsOH and some MINOR MINOR fluff at the end for Jongkey and 2Min lovers, because i'm one of them ^^ But don't worry, no in this story all just brotherly love > <
If it DOES happen in real life i'm deleting this story! I dnt want it revolving this story T^T But i'm sure Taemin isn't like that
----------------------
Ha neul’s POV
----------------------
“Ha… up!” Was all I could hear. “Plea… neul… get up!” Slowly it became clearer and clearer that someone was shouting. I opened my eyes slowly to be greeted by a bright light which almost blinded me. I shut my eyes quickly until someone tugged on my arm; I looked to my left and saw Min ra about to bite my arm. I quickly snatched it away from her and glared at her.
“What happened?”
“Fainted”
“Where am i?”
“Living room”
“Why am I only getting a few words as an answer?”
“Dunno” Irritated I tried getting up but something electrical like ran up my spine, through my brain and relayed back to my making me groan. Umma panicked and she switched off the light leaving the lampshade on and put a pillow on my head.
“I’m not going hospital right?”
“No, I didn’t call them knowing how you blatantly fainted because of one; Speaking to jung Yunho of Dong Bang Shin Ki, two; being knowledgeable that you’re moving to Korea to stay there with me and your father, 3three; Min ra-ah will be coming to stay with us and four; when you do get to Korea, you’ll be acting, then modelling, then singing, then designing” I blinked at her, then a sharp pain went through my temples and stayed there. I laid myself on the couch cradling my head.
“This is totally like you Ha neul. But I still can’t believe you DIDN’T LET ME SPEAK TO JUNG YUNHO!”
“DON’T SHOUT AT ME MIN RA!” By the ‘puff’ coming from her direction I could tell she was smirking.
“Uuh. When am I moving again?”
“Three weeks’ time”
“Perfect, UGH! Mianhae Min ra-ah, we were going to spazz about some stuff and then this happened and I’m movng…” I glanced at her looking upset, I really wanted to spend more time with her, I’ve been addicted to my blog lately; which reminds me, I have to update it about how I’m moving to Korea and I’m Craze’s daughter.
How ironic is that? I posted how I need to understand idols to become one, and around the same time I’m told I’m going to be an idol?
“Aniyo ha neul-ah, I would have reacted the same way if I was told that,” I gave her a sarcastic look and she rolled her eyes, “Okay maybe I wouldn’t have fainted but you know what I mean.” We bothlaughed and umma invited her to stay over, she obviously agreed. I limped up to my room and glomped my bed which I thought was absolute heaven at the moment. My life is so unusual…
--------------------
Taemin’s POV
--------------------
I guess my assumption was right. Kibum hyung knows about me, and all I can do is hope he doesn’t tell anyone who can’t handle it; like Jinki hyung. I’m so tired of life, I’m fed up of it but whenever I know I can give up and go through with it and cut myself deeply, SHINee hyungs appear in front of me and they’re the only reason I can keep on living; other than my family. No, SHINee is my family, they’re like water. It’s something you can’t describe, something you can’t explain but you need it, you can’t live without it… just like a river.
I smiled to myself as Yiruma sunbaenim’s ‘River flows in you’ plays through my head. Kibum hyung still hasn’t come out of the toilet and Jonghyun hyung is wondering if ‘Umma’ has constipation or not.
“Maybe he’s pregnant with your kid hyung” I said smirking up and Jjong-hyung who gave me an amused yet offended look in return. I giggle and turn my chair to face the clear pane. Undoubtedly my head doesn’t hurt anymore. I thank Kibum hyung in myself but I know he’s not going to want to hear my thank you unless I give him a decent explanation as to why I’m doing this.
Honestly I don’t even know myself. Like I said, I would have gone through with it a long time ago if it wasn’t for these hyungs who are always behind me, pushing me to go forward, catching me when I fall and teasing me when I’m upset. My ‘acting’ skills, or should I say lying skills, have improved a lot since the first time I’ve cut myself. No one, until now, has pointed out my change in attitude or has even checked to see if I have been cutting myself. I’ve got to hand it to Kibum hyung, if it wasn’t for him, I would have been pretending for another few months and then pulling it off.
“SHINee, come up in 15!” I look up to see the director of the meeting. I take a last look at the line of reporters, fans and paparazzi’s and smile.
“Neh~ Kamsahamnida” I said, the director smiled back and went back to whatever he was doing, probably off to tell the rest of the SM brothers we’re going to the meeting hall in a few. I gather my things and spot Kibum hyung looking pale. Reluctantly I walk up to him, trying to act normal but I know what just happened isn’t going to make things normal for a while.
“Hyung~ Gwenchannayo?” I put my hand on his forehead… honestly it’s either I’ve been keeping my hands in my pocket for too long or he’s really burning up. He looks up at me and he looked like he was about to cry. “Hyung? Hyung! What’s wrong?” I look around and spot Jinki hyung and call out to him; he hears me and comes running towards us.
“Yah! Kibummie, what’s wrong?” Kibum hyung shakes his head and walks away drinking water. I look at Jinki hyung who shrugs and doesn’t know what to do. Why do I feel like it’s my fault? What if it is? What if it’s because he found out what I was doing? What happens if he starts doing it himself? I glance up at Kibum hyung who’s talking to Yunho hyung about something… What have I done?
--------------------
Kibum’s POV
--------------------
It’s either I should become a really hot makeup artist, or an awesome actor… maybe both. Jjong was asking if I was alright in the toilet and I was just putting some makeup on to make it seem I wasn’t feeling well. But now looking at Taeminnnie’s face it looks as if he’s the one who’s ill instead of me. Jinki asks if I’m alright and I just shrug him off, mianhae dubu, I go looking for Yunho hyung and I spot him talking to Changmin hyung excited. When I ask if I can speak to him Changminnie smiles, asks if I’m alright and then walks away to see if he can find Yoochun hyung.
“What’s up Kibummie?” How should I explain this to hyung? ‘Taeminnie’s been slashing his wrist and I’m the only one who knows, well now that I’ve told you you’re the other person who knows, I have no idea why he’s doing it and I have no idea how to stop it’ …sounds alright?
“Y-yunho hyung… I urm…” COME OUT DAMN STUPID WORDS!
“You’re not going to confess to me are you?” He said grinning, I couldn’t help but smile myself and I shook my head.
“Hyung… what would you do if you felt like you have no one to talk to?”
“Talk to me” I look at him, he was dead serious.
“T-taeminnie’s been… slashing” I said whispering, “I don’t know what to do…” I was hoping he didn’t hear but when I looked up at him, his eyes were wide and he didn’t know what to say. He took a quick glance behind me; probably looking at Taeminnie then he looked back at me.
“You know what? Changmin used to do that.” I looked at him with the same expression as he had when I told him.
“W-why? And how did you stop it?” He looked at me and blinked then he leaned against the railing.
“He was under so much stress, he didn’t have time for his parents, he didn’t have time for school, he didn’t feel as if he was good enough nor did he feel he was talented. He thought that he was just another teenage brat who debuted out of luck.” Listening about Changmin hyung, it didn’t look like he would be the type of person who did that, not back then when we were about to debut as SHINee either.
“That’s not true though… and how did he end up thinking like that about himself…?” I trailed off as I saw Taeminnie smiling at the director, such a realistic smile.
“We all know that it isn’t true but he doesn’t know that. He thinks that about him, he thought that I should say. And I’m pretty sure before Kyuhyun came, Kibum from SUJU was under pressure because of him coming from America, same goes for Hankyung”
“What? So it’s like a phase amongst the younger and unique artistes?”
“I guess you can say that.”
“How did they get out of this phase, because by the looks of it he’s been doing it for years?”
“That’s because of the years of training he’s received, he’s probably venting everything out, it’ll go soon.”
“SOON isn’t quick enough hyung! I don’t want Taemin doing crap like this, ESPECIALLY when I know what’s going on and not doing anything about it!” I was about to shout so loud it would have been on the next magazine’s front page but the director called for us. Yunho hyung sighed and he handed me a paper slip which had a website on it. “What’s this?”
“A blog. It’s a blog which talks about how the owner perceives us idols, what she thinks is wrong and how she needs to know about the feelings of other idols before she pursues her dream to become one herself.” I looked at it and nodded. But I doubt a little girl would understand how a person feels. If she wants to become an idol and feel how it is to become one then just go audition then train then debut.
------------------------------
No one’s POV
------------------------------
(Focusing on reunion of D.B.S.K!)
The three youthful idol groups consisting of only men and an older person in a suit walked past the crowd of press, the group members waved at the cameras and their beloved fan, they all put a smile on their faces; all except one.
Taemin had his hood up and looked down with his hands in his pocket, guilt encircling his heart and his conscience weighing his mind and shoulder. He took a look at Kibum who was smiling despite his pale complexion which he didn’t know was makeup. He looked back down and followed the large group into the building where they saw three other people standing next to each other, as soon as the Youngmin, the male in the suit, spotted them, all four of them bowed.
“Ah, please stop with the formalities I want this to be a nice day, a pleasant meeting… though I think it’ll be hard for you because I’m that old” Youngmin joked gaining laughter amongst the others. Yunho and Changmin caught eye contact with Junsu, Yoochun and Jaejoong. Jaejoong cocked his head to the nearest private room and the others nodded. The stood up as the others sat.
They quickly entered the room and once all five of them were there, they embraced each other and hugged each other. Jaejoong checked to see if Changmin was still as meaty as he was before and not to his surprise, he was more muscular and fashionable. Yunho asked if Junsu and Yoochun had been arguing with their Jaejoong hyung and they asked if Changmin had been terrorising him.
Back at the hall, they could hear the happy reunion which brought tears to Heechul’s and Leeteuk’s eyes knowing how hard they have suffered, each and every one of them. Leeteuk never mentioned to anyone that Changmin was on the verge of returning to depression and was almost about to cut himself until Yunho caught him, scolded him and then told him how they were going to meet JYJ. Youngmin smiled as the five returned and SHINee and Super Junior made five seats empty next to each other. Youngmin stood up with a glass of red wine and cleared his throat gaining everyone’s attention.
“Though this meeting was supposed to be about the Craze industry I’m very pleased to welcome back DBSK, Korea’s best idol group; no offence to Super Junior and SHINee.”
“None taken!” Yesung shouted out, the group of boys laughed.
“Well that’s great,” Youngmin cleared his throat again, “The purpose of this meeting is not only to reunite DBSK who hasn’t seen each other in over a year, but also to promote Craze.” Everyone looked up at the man who had a bright expression on his face. “My daughter, Park Ha neul, she’s dreamed of becoming an idol but she doesn’t have to courage or the confidence to audition so when she was young I promised her to make loads of opportunities so she can achieve that dream. She’s addicted to you three groups and she loves each of you very much.” He glanced at DBSK who was smiling and drinking their water. “She was so heart broken when DBSK went under the lawsuit and also when three of the members left super junior for personal reasons. So I aimed this project at the three groups in whom she gets her inspiration from. The three groups in whom she can use their music to understand herself, I thank you, personally and business wise, for agreeing to sponsor and endorse Craze”
Everyone stood up and clapped their hands as Youngmin bowed, once they calmed down Youngmin asked for the dinner to be served within five minutes. He was drinking his wine until he realised he forgot to say something.
“OH! I’ve asked Warner music America to let you continue sponsoring in America, if you don’t mind it,” JYJ nodded and then Youngmin faced super junior, “I’ve sent a lot of Craze products to the army in which Kangin-sshi is in, I’ve also sent some to Kibum-sshi and I’ve asked Hankyung-sshi’s company to let him endorse in it and they agreed, I’ve sent some to Henry-sshi and Zhoumi-sshi as well. This way I won’t feel bad about leaving them out. Sorry if you don-”
“Animnida! Thank you very much for not forgetting the rest of our hyungs.” Jinki said standing up, Leeteuk and Yunho looked at him and smiled, they stood up as well. “I know I’m not a part of DBSK or Super Junior but both groups are important to us, to SHINee. Without them we wouldn’t be as successful as we are now because we look up to them. So as SHINee’s leader, thank you for looking after us and our Hyungs; I’m positive your daughter will be very pleased with you.” Jinki bowed and Yunho and Leeteuk followed. Soon after the dinner arrived, the three groups discussed about future plans, about Youngmin’s daughter and about other design schemes which would match the concept of each group.
It seemed like a very bright and optimistic place to be in, but Kim Kibum and Lee Taemin were both deep in thought as they silently ate their food.
==================
After the meeting
==================
JYJ bid farewell to their group and their friends and bowed to their sunbaenim as they headed to their hotel to get ready for their concert which was the next day. Super junior got into two vans and headed for their respective schedules and SHINee, being off for the day besides the meeting headed straight home.
The ride was silent, quiet and peaceful. Jonghyun had put the radio on but had fallen asleep on Kibum’s shoulder; Minho put his leg through the gap between the seat and the door because of lack of leg space, Taemin was leaning against him listening to his iPod and Jinki was in the driver seat with his head leaning against the window asleep. Taemin glanced up at his Hyung who looked like he’s had fun because he was sleeping with a smile on his face. Taemin smiled as well, his gaze turned from Minho to the back of Kibum’s head. Words of worry, apologies, anger and sadness welled up in him he wanted to ask him what was wrong, if it was because he was disgusted with what he was doing. Little did Taemin know, Kibum wasn’t asleep but he was on his phone internet.
He looked up the blog Yunho had told him about and he scrolled down at the categories of the posts. The blog looked similar and so did the way the owner wrote her posts. He was caught off guard when he saw a post which titled ‘Stress, depression, sadness, Pain = Physical pain?’
His heart started to race as he clicked the ‘Go’ button and waited for it to load. He waited and waited until he read the first sentence.
‘Fame is a vapour, popularity is an accident, riches take wings... only one thing endures, and that is character’ It took a while for him to understand it, he read it again and again and the only word which stood out to him was ‘Endures’. Has Taemin been enduring a lot without the rest of them knowing?
They found out he’s being bullied a long time ago when he came home with a bruise in his ribs and he couldn’t practise for ‘Noona Neomo Yeoppeo’ promotions. Kibum, Jonghyun, Minho and Jinki personally went to their school to talk to the ring leader of it all and threatened them with all their might to NOT touch Taemin. It stopped for a while before it happened again in which Heechul and Jaejoong both went to drop Taemin off from school and pick him up. It touched him knowing how he and his hyungs love this boy, no matter what. Now that the bullying stopped since the end of their first album, nothing out of the ordinary would make him think Taemin has been enduring a lot.
Taemin’s been visiting his parent’s regularly as he lived in Seoul and the dorm was in Seoul also so it wasn’t the fact he hasn’t been visiting his parent’s either.
As the van was stuck in traffic, Kibum kept reading the blog posts; he turned around to see Taemin lying down with his head on a pillow on Minho’s lap. He smiled as he took a picture of it from his camera. Just like Jaejoong he wanted something special. He took a few of Jonghyun and Jinki before he decided he’d call the owner of the blog when he had the time.
Comments