I enter home safely and take the stairs to my room. I put my bag on the table and throw myself to my bed. it's raining hard outside. as I look at the  window, I keep remembering that moment.

november, 2012.

it's almost dinner time and raining hard when I walk home after groceries shopping my mom asked me to. I walk slowly enjoying the rain and step

carefully so I won't get dirt on my legs. I smile when I see two junior high schoolers running after the rain trying not to get wet and at the same time competing who's gonna arrived home first. I remember doing the same thing with my bestfriend, kimtaehyung. we would run together after the rain eventhough I bring umbrella. he will caught my hand and force us to stop running and I yelled at him because we both drenched when we arrived at home. I laughed and realized how I miss the moment and I miss him. I continue walking down the wet road to my home. at the end of the road, i'll turn right and i'll be home. it's cold outside and the plastic bag full of groceries get heavier by the time.

after I make a turn, I startled when I see familiar figure in front of my house. he wears black hat, a mask, grey-oversized jacket, black pants and white-basketball shoes and he's holding a silver-coloured umbrella. I walk closer to him and I call him. 'oh! taehyung-ah! what are you doing here? you came alone? why don't you come inside, it's freaking cold and wet here, you might get sick.' I struggled a lot to hide how happy I am to see him again after a long time, I miss him so much but i'm to shy to tell him.

'you shop alone?', so him, he always talk about me first though i'm looking fine.

'yes. since you've gone busy with training and stuff who else would go groceries shopping with me?'

'yaa! next time you should shops in the afternoon, it's too dangerous to walk alone at night. you get it?'

'yes, sir. come on, go inside. i'm freezing', I hold his hands and pull them inside, but he hold back my hands and stopped me. he took the heavy plastic bag with his left hand and put it down near the gate. he took my umbrella and he pull me closer to him, we're standing under his umbrella. I startled because he suddenly get so serious. 'what are you doing? is there something bad happen?', I asked him.

'lee eun-ah, I have something to ask you so I came all the way here. can you answer it honestly?'

I feel strange that he became that serious,but I manage to answer him 'of course. now tell me, it's cold.'

'if I have to leave home, this town and you, will you be okay?'

I startled at his question and I feel nervous to answer, 'of course i'll be fine. but, why are you suddenly asking such question?'

'I think I have to move to seoul for some time. I have no idea when will I come home. should I not go?'

I shocked at his last statement. if I follow my thought, I would obviously say no and tell him to stay here with me. but I regain my sense back and I realized that I cannot be selfish and dumb just because I don't want him to go. I know he has beautiful voice and he loves to dance. it's his dream  to perform on stage, he use to tell me all the time and I definitely support him as his bestfriend.

he ask me once again, 'lee eun-ah, should I not go? should I stay here?'

'why are you asking me?', I asked.

'if you ask me to stay, i'll stay.'

I want him to stay but I know i'm the bad girl if I do so. 'eiiysh- why are you even asking. you must go. your dream as a performer is a step ahead. you obviously must go. why would I told you not to haahha'

he look me closely and I get nervous if he notice that I lied. 'so, you're okay if i'm not around?'

'aiish- i'm grown up lady, i'll be fine. why are you so worry about me?'

he smile and we both stand still in silence, don't know what to say.

'when will you move to seoul?', I asked.

'not sure, next week perhaps.'

'oohh...', I respond.

'want to do something before I go?', he asked.

I look at him and ask 'farewell party?'

'emmmhh.. it sounds weird if you call it farewell. let's call it our day-off. what do you want to do?'

'hahahhaha picnic? we haven't done that since elementary school.'

he rolled his eyes handsomely and said 'okay. let's meet up tomorrow. i'll pick you up since I don't want you to waiting in vain. I know you hate to wait. hahhahaha'

I laughed at how he knows exactly how I am. he offered his pinky finger to me as a promise, I cling my pinky finger on his and we laughed.

he gave me back my umbrella and he pick the groceries bag and he opened the door for me. I smiled at him and tell him to get back safely and to call me if he's home. he smile, turned his back on me. I watch him walking few steps from my house then he suddenly came back. I laughed because I thought he might say something random and unnecessary before leaving as usual. but I startled because he strangely ask me one more time 'eun-ah, are you really okay if I go?', I told him no need to worry, i'll be fine and once again told him to go because tomorrow we'll meet again. he smiled and waved at me, but I can feel something unusual and somehow it makes me feel uneasy.

I forced myself to get rid of those bad thoughts and I start brainstorming what to packed for picnic tomorrow. taehyung need to know that he can focus on his dreams and he does not need to worry about me. i'll show him I can survive even if he's far from me. I entered my house, put down the groceries on the kitchen shelf, have a quick talk with mom and a short story of how taehyung and I will go on picnic tomorrow. I walk to my room and I decided to write a letter to taehyung. he can read it when he's arrive in seoul so he know that I always support him though honestly I don't want him to go. I finished by midnite then I quickly went to bed