I sat there, Yoogeun beside me. Changmin already went home, and Jihye went with him. I didn't have the strength and courage to protect my sister. Not now that my problems are worse than Changmin dating my sister.

"Appa...?" Yoogeun yawned weakly.

"Ne, Yoogeun-ah? Are you alright now?"

"I think so." He breathed slowly. "You look sad."

"If you had hyungs, Yoogeun-ah, would you be happy?" I his hair.

"I want a noona, appa... but a hyung is alright..."

"Noona?"

"Ne. I just want someone to take care of me."

"A hyung can take care of you..."

"Well, I think a hyung would be alright."

"Yoogeun-ah. If there would be two hyungs living with us, would you be happy?"

"Of course I will! I'll be a good dongsaeng to them just like Taemin appa to Onew appa!" The child smiled at me.

"I'll show you your hyungs." I grabbed my wallet and showed him Youngji and Jaeyoung's picture with me.

"He looks like you, appa." Yoogeun pointed at Youngji.

"Because he's also my son."

"Why haven't I seen him before?"

"Because they are living in appa's hometown." I faked a smiled. Because I abandoned them.

"I want to see them, appa."

I sighed. How will I face my children?

Days passed and I sent Yoogeun back to ahjumma. I needed some time alone. I have to think about all of this. What  is more important? My life-long dream or my children? Suddenly, my first wife's face popped into my mind. She was smiing sweetly at me, carrying Youngji in her arms. Her stomach was already big. That was the last time I saw her. Then I saw Ami with Yoogeun in a stroller. Why are all of these memories coming back?

"I'm sorry Hyeri-ah. I didn't mean to abandon you. I was selfish and immature then. I'm really sorry. I should've stayed with you... I should've told my family about you. I'm really sorry." I cried. Then Ami's face flashed in my mind. "Ami-ah. I'm sorry for not taking care of Yoogeun. Sorry for not telling you the whole truth. I'm really sorry."

Weeks passed and I didn't go out of my house. I didn't even let anybody meet me. May it be Jihye or Changmin, I wanted to be alone. I don't know how to face everyone. I feel so ashamed. I don't know if I could even make up for all those mistakes.

I have never felt abandoned before. I didn't know that it hurt this much. At first, I didn't understand the meaning of being abandoned. But now that my bestfriends left me, I feel helpless. I don't know if I could still live on. Was this how my sons felt when I left them?

I have to make up for everything. For the time that passed us, for the birthdays that I missed, for the bond that was supposed to be tied years ago... I have to fix it. I have to be a good father from now on.

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Short chapter, mian -_-

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Kamsahamnida~